Can’t afford funeral costs. Any advice appreciated

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MarthaSo said:
Hello everyone. I was thinking of my elderly parents today and my dad in particular who is 86. He doesn’t have life insurance as he cashed it out years ago and he doesn’t have savings. In NYC where we live the average “basic” funeral is almost $10K!! There is no way I can afford this! They are not practicing Catholics but I wanted to still bury them in accordance with the Catholic church. I hate to sound callous and forgive me but we are just getting out of debt and to bury both my parents would be another debt of $20k. In a way, I wish my father would not have left me this dilemma and would have prepared some cushion but he no longer has one and my husband and I along with our own family and debt cannot afford even the most basic funeral. I’m just a little staggered at learning the cost. I would do my best to have something in place so my children never have to deal with this.
Any advice appreciated. It sounds like cremation with burial is acceptable and is something that we can hopefully afford.
Thanks for listening.
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Talk to your pastor now (if you haven’t already). If you have already spoken to your pastor, trying calling the Archdiocse.

Burying the dead is one of the seven Corporal Work of Mercy. There some groups who focus on helping people who cannot afford Catholic burial to obtain one.

I’m not sure how to find these groups or who they are willing to help and not help. However, they do exist (even if they are just a small part of a parish outreach program to the poor.

But again, do it now. Don’t wait until after a parent dies.

God Bless
 
One other thing you could consider is finding a new Catholic Cemetery out in Rural America.

If you send me a private message, I can provide you a link to one Diocesan Cemetery I know of that is 3.5 hours from NYC. There graves start at $675 per grave.

I don’t want to post this hear, as I’m not sure if the Diocese would appreciate me posting this (even though they have the price posted on their public website for the cemetary.)
 
I don’t think that even the KofC writes new policies past 85 . . .

And as a practical matter, the cost over the actuarial lifetime of someone that age would be equal to the death benefit.

I don’t know about the base policy that joining makes you eligible for … . .

I haven’t looked at the latest Form 100, but ion the older versions, you could sign up for the policy then and there.

As for me, I’d rather be buried in a simple wood box, or simply placed in the ground, without the embalming, and do not like the idea of being displayed in a funeral home.

Hold the wake in my living room (traditional Irish), or lay me out at my church(byzantine), but I actively dislike the idea of the the funeral home.

Take me from the church straight to the ground . . .

And bury me in my regalia, not that new third world paratrooper outfit the order is now pushing!

hawk
 
Yes, that would indeed happen for a traditional byzantine burial.

Also, not a full liturgy for burial, but shorter services, with a Divine Liturgy later (9 days?).

The Pittsburgh Metropolia has a page, but even though it has historic references, it’s modern compared to some other byzantines:

https://mci.archpitt.org/liturgy/Funeral.html

hawk
 
CCC 2301 Autopsies can be morally permitted for legal inquests or scientific research. The free gift of organs after death is legitimate and can be meritorious.

The Church permits cremation, provided that it does not demonstrate a denial of faith in the resurrection of the body.
 
I already told my wife to have me buried in my “old” regalia…my son can keep my sword.
 
At many churches they will have a wake for an hour or two before the funeral service begins, so the body doesn’t have to stay there overnight. I’ve seen this in person when I show up for Mass and there is a wake going on in the church.
 
My heart goes out to you, Martha. I hope you find a solution.
 
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Call your diocese. I signed up for my husband and me through the diocese, I think it’s $140 a month for 5 years, for a plot in the Catholic cemetery and a cremation urn. I think the cremation itself is separate however. But there may be a program through your diocese. I wouldn’t wait until you need it, though. It wouldn’t hurt to gather information ahead of time.
 
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