Can a catholic / baptist relationship work?

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Hello everyone! To make a long story short, I began dating a man about 2 years ago. He told me he was baptist and I have to admitt I was a little taken back at that time. But over the first few months he never went to church…NEVER. I am catholic and I am raising my daughter in the catholic faith also. Now, 2 years into the relationship he decides to go back to church! I am all about people going to church because I think it is very important, but he used to come to mass with us and now he is not and he wants us to go to church with him. This goes against the teachings I am instilling in my daughter and going against my obligation to Sunday mass. I know I could go to mass on Saturday night but my daughter would not even be able to sit with me, she would have to go to a class room and I am not comfortable with that. The website said to teach the basic baptist beliefs at a young age. I feel that will start to confuse my daughter! So, here’s the problem, I have invested 2 years into this relationship always under the assumption he was not going to go back to church, it was always inconvienent for him. I honestly did see it ever being a problem and now it is. Some peopel think it is not a big deal but how would we raise future children? He says our church teaches the bible and nothing more, it’s like saying we are right and you are wrong! I don’t know what to do, but now 2 years into a great relationship I am faced with a very tough situation that I wasn’t expecting. Does anyone have any first hand knowledge on this? Opinions on if it could work or not? I was thinking about going to talk to my priest about this for some guidence, but I don’t know what to do. ANY help would be greatly appreciated 🙂
 
MarisaJean said:
Hello everyone! To make a long story short, I began dating a man about 2 years ago. He told me he was baptist and I have to admitt I was a little taken back at that time. But over the first few months he never went to church…NEVER. I am catholic and I am raising my daughter in the catholic faith also. Now, 2 years into the relationship he decides to go back to church! I am all about people going to church because I think it is very important, but he used to come to mass with us and now he is not and he wants us to go to church with him. This goes against the teachings I am instilling in my daughter and going against my obligation to Sunday mass. I know I could go to mass on Saturday night but my daughter would not even be able to sit with me, she would have to go to a class room and I am not comfortable with that. The website said to teach the basic baptist beliefs at a young age. I feel that will start to confuse my daughter! So, here’s the problem, I have invested 2 years into this relationship always under the assumption he was not going to go back to church, it was always inconvienent for him. I honestly did see it ever being a problem and now it is. Some peopel think it is not a big deal but how would we raise future children? He says our church teaches the bible and nothing more, it’s like saying we are right and you are wrong! I don’t know what to do, but now 2 years into a great relationship I am faced with a very tough situation that I wasn’t expecting. Does anyone have any first hand knowledge on this? Opinions on if it could work or not? I was thinking about going to talk to my priest about this for some guidence, but I don’t know what to do. ANY help would be greatly appreciated 🙂
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Well I think it could work, though it will be difficult.

I think you should tell him first off that you’re a practicing Catholic, and that under no circumstances that will change, and your daughter, since she is yours, will be growing up as a Catholic. Period. That needs to be clear. You need to fulfill your Sunday obligation and your daughter needs to go to Mass.

If you want to go to a Baptist service with him because he invites you, just tell him you’d rather that your daughter sit with you because you’d prefer her not to be taught Baptist beliefs that might confuse her at such a young age. I think that’s a reasonable thing to say, and I wouldn’t see why that would upset him.
 
First of all, how old is your daughter?

Second, which church wants your daughter to go to a classroom - Catholic or Baptist?

If it’s the Catholic Church that is offering some kind of children’s program at the Saturday evening Mass, you can politely decline.

If it’s the Baptist Church, you should not let her go to their Sunday school. If you want to visit your boyfriend’s church, that’s fine but either keep your daughter with you or get her a sitter at home.

Third, while it’s nice to go to church together, you shouldn’t make Mass the casualty. It’s great that Saturday Mass is available but you shouldn’t feel pressured to push your Sunday obligation to Saturday in order to accomodate his church’s schedule.

Fourth, what website are you referring to?
 
I have been married to a wonderful Baptist man for 13 yrs, we have 4 children. I am a cradle Catholic who strayed from the Church. It has been a long journey but I’m back “home” in my church and all my children are being raised Catholic and have been attending Catholic School. While my husband no longer considers himself Baptist he is not Catholic either. He’s very SLOWLY coming around because I have immersed myself in Catholic apologetics, he has seen a true and genuine change in me, and I pray for his conversion every day. 👍

There’s been very heated arguments over Our Holy Mother being an eternal virgin and Jesus having sibilings and praying to the Saints. When we married I was not a very strong Catholic…but if I had been a strong Catholic I would have married a Catholic man. Luckily for me, through the Grace of God & many prayers, my husband does not interfere with the Catholic rearing of our children and he does attend Mass with us and he is very respectful of the religion and doesn’t speak negatively about Catholicism. I am very very very lucky for that because I know of women whose non Catholic husbands are not nice about Catholicism in front of the children.

His whole family is Baptist and they know we are Catholic. I do not let my children attend any Protestant VBS or any other church. Their teaching is way too different, your daughter will be confused. My Mom took me out of the Catholic Church at 11 yrs of age & started to “church hop” and after of many different churches I’m finally home again.

Please save yourself a lot of heartache and your daughter a lot of confusion. Speak to your Priest, PRAY PRAY PRAY for God to direct you, and find yourself a Catholic man.

Peace
 
It worked out great for me. My wife of almost 12 years converted! As well as a grown son of hers!

Seriously, it is a very difficult thing to work through, and I will be praying for you through this process. But remember, hopefully one of these relationships is ultimately more important in the long run–your relationship with God.
 
MarisaJean said:
He says our church teaches the bible and nothing more, it’s like saying we are right and you are wrong! I don’t know what to do, but now 2 years into a great relationship I am faced with a very tough situation that I wasn’t expecting.
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If I am understanding you correctly, your boyfriend is saying that his church–the Baptist Church–teaches the bible and nothing more. And that you feel he is saying to you that his church (the Baptist Church) is right and your church (the Catholic Church) is wrong. Is that correct? If this is the case, and it were me, I would be a little unsettled by his posture regarding my faith. I would feel the storm clouds gathering in a not so subtle statement.

I do believe that a relationship between a Catholic and Protestant who both love the Lord with all their hearts can work. It’s just that there must be a mutual respect and even a support system between the couple. If you believe strongly in the Catholic faith, he should respect you for it (after all, your strong religious conviction is probably what attracted him to you in the first place). Don’t lose yourself in him. And don’t let your two year investment in him cloud your heart or your vision. Trust in God. Put Him first, and be strong in your faith. And remember your daughter is more than an observer in all this. If you treat the man you love with dignity and respect him, expecting reciprocity from him, you will be teaching your daughter more than any Sunday school class ever could.

God bless.
 
no time to elaborate

but it cannot work for me unless the baptist converts…

more later
 
MarisaJean said:
Hello everyone! To make a long story short, I began dating a man about 2 years ago. He told me he was baptist and I have to admitt I was a little taken back at that time. But over the first few months he never went to church…NEVER. I am catholic and I am raising my daughter in the catholic faith also. Now, 2 years into the relationship he decides to go back to church! I am all about people going to church because I think it is very important, but he used to come to mass with us and now he is not and he wants us to go to church with him. This goes against the teachings I am instilling in my daughter and going against my obligation to Sunday mass. I know I could go to mass on Saturday night but my daughter would not even be able to sit with me, she would have to go to a class room and I am not comfortable with that. The website said to teach the basic baptist beliefs at a young age. I feel that will start to confuse my daughter! So, here’s the problem, I have invested 2 years into this relationship always under the assumption he was not going to go back to church, it was always inconvienent for him. I honestly did see it ever being a problem and now it is. Some peopel think it is not a big deal but how would we raise future children? He says our church teaches the bible and nothing more, it’s like saying we are right and you are wrong! I don’t know what to do, but now 2 years into a great relationship I am faced with a very tough situation that I wasn’t expecting. Does anyone have any first hand knowledge on this? Opinions on if it could work or not? I was thinking about going to talk to my priest about this for some guidence, but I don’t know what to do. ANY help would be greatly appreciated 🙂
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What kind of example would you be to your daughter (who you are trying to raise Catholic) if you marry a man who holds to a different truth than you do?
 
Does your intended know the history of the Bible? (And do you?)

It’s important that he understands that the Bible is a Catholic book. When the Church was about 364 years old, she selected 27 of her own writings, canonized them, and named them the New Testament. At the same time, she canonized 46 writings of the Greek Septuagint and named them the Old Testament. Her entire collection of sacred Scripture she named Tá Biblia – the Bible.

Protestants reject the Septuagint, period. The Protestant Bible lacks 7 books and parts of Esther and Daniel. They were removed from the canon by Martin Luther in his German translation of 1534, but he put them in an appendix and left them in his Bible with the pages unnumbered so readers would not mistake these writings for Scripture. He gave the same treatment to Hebrews, James, Jude, Revelation. His followers later restored the NT books but let his cuts to the OT stand. The KJV of 1611 followed Luther’s method and put the OT :“Apocrypha” in an appendix. But in 1827 these writings were removed from all Protestant Bibles altogether by the British and Foreign Bible Society…

Here is a link to a little book of biblical history called Where We Got the Bible, written by a former Presbyterian pastor who became a Catholic.

catholicapologetics.info/apologetics/protestantism/wbible.htm

This book is also available from Catholic Answers and from Amazon.

As a former Baptist, I must warn you that many (but not all) Baptists are taught to be very anti-Catholic. This could prove very difficult for you.

Know the history of the Catholic Church and of the Bible so you can defend the Church and your faith.

God be with you and your daughter, and may the Blessed Virgin keep you under her mantle.

Jim Dandy
Ex-Southern Baptist, ex-agnostic, ex-atheist, ecstatic to be Catholic
 
It can work, it is certainly not guaranteed. You need to immerse yourself in the Faith to strengthen you, there will be times that challenge you. Second, forget how long you have been dating, that is immaterial. It is what we call in banking a “sunk cost”. It means that you can’t ever get that time back and it shouldn’t influence today’s decision.

Third, if you married, all children must be raised Catholic. He has to understand and accept this. If not, it won’t work.
 
A Catholic/Baptist relationship could work, if either one is not serious about his/her faith.

It would probably be more difficult, if both are serious (or if one is serious, and the other is becoming more serious) about his/her faith.
 
This is not a question for an internet forum full of strangers. A question this complex and personal should be discussed between you and your boyfriend. It would probably also be a good idea to involve your priest and your boyfriend’s pastor to answer any questions that come up.

I don’t think there is a cut and dry answer to be had here. It’s going to depend way too much on you and your boyfriend as individuals.
 
It all depends. If neither of you are willing to give in then no it won’t work out. If religion is a big part of both your lives and you both believe your church is the right one then you will have a hard time. I dated a Catholic guy for 3 years and we realized it would never work out. I refused to get married in a Catholic Church and raise my kids there and he refused to do the same with my church. We knew that that would eventually cause problems not only with us but with our families.

I never understood how people can get married to those of a different faith and hope that they will eventually convert. If you do decide to do that you have to take into consideration that he might never agree with your views and that he might actually get stronger in his own faith. You should never ever marry someone and think “well, I’ll just pray and hope he converts” because there is a good chance he never will.
 
Thank you so much for all the responses. And just to clarifty a few things I have discussed this with my boyfriend and we got no where but a deep heated conversation which we then decided to discuss later. I went onto the forum to get advice from other people just to see if I was handling the situation right. I have a meeting in 2 weeks with my priest to talk about this. Thank you so much for all your imput, thoughts and prayers. I truly appreciate them from the bottom of my heart. God bless you all…
 
Yes it can work. I have family members, a Catholic and a Baptist, who have been married over 30 yrs. They are parents of 3 children and now grandparents of 4. If both show respect for one another and for one another’s faith, love can conquer all. God bless and peace be with you always.
 
=MarisaJean;8166154]Hello everyone! To make a long story short, I began dating a man about 2 years ago. He told me he was baptist and I have to admitt I was a little taken back at that time. But over the first few months he never went to church…NEVER. I am catholic and I am raising my daughter in the catholic faith also. Now, 2 years into the relationship he decides to go back to church! I am all about people going to church because I think it is very important, but he used to come to mass with us and now he is not and he wants us to go to church with him. This goes against the teachings I am instilling in my daughter and going against my obligation to Sunday mass. I know I could go to mass on Saturday night but my daughter would not even be able to sit with me, she would have to go to a class room and I am not comfortable with that. The website said to teach the basic baptist beliefs at a young age. I feel that will start to confuse my daughter! So, here’s the problem, I have invested 2 years into this relationship always under the assumption he was not going to go back to church, it was always inconvienent for him. I honestly did see it ever being a problem and now it is. Some peopel think it is not a big deal but how would we raise future children? He says our church teaches the bible and nothing more, it’s like saying we are right and you are wrong! I don’t know what to do, but now 2 years into a great relationship I am faced with a very tough situation that I wasn’t expecting. Does anyone have any first hand knowledge on this? Opinions on if it could work or not? I was thinking about going to talk to my priest about this for some guidence, but I don’t know what to do. ANY help would be greatly appreciated 🙂
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IF… hes is an avowed BAPTIST that practices his “faith” and you desire to be an Informed, fully practicing Catholic, I don’t see how it can work out?

In order to be married in the CC he would have AGREE to not only allow you to raise your children as CATHOLICS, but commit to not cause any roadblocks to this critical condition.

While there are non-catholic christians religions that typically would cause less strain on such a marriage: Baptist traditionally “HATE” [John McArthur for example] Catholics.

Don’t allow “love to be blind” now and REGREAT it later.

God Bless,
Pat
 
it totally depends.

If the Catholic is one of those not so really Catholic kind, then it can work.

If theCatholic is enthused about his or her faith, as i am, it would NOT work unless the Baaptist converted.

I would never marry a Baptist.

i would never marry anyone who was not an enthused, catechized Roman Catholic
 
You could wind up sleeping with the enemy – with the enemy constantly undermining the way you want to raise your daughter and criticizing your Faith. It’s a lonely life, no sharing of things that mean the most, a constant tug of war.
 
PJM said:
IF… hes is an avowed BAPTIST that practices his “faith” and you desire to be an Informed, fully practicing Catholic, I don’t see how it can work out?

In order to be married in the CC he would have AGREE to not only allow you to raise your children as CATHOLICS, but commit to not cause any roadblocks to this critical condition.

While there are non-catholic christians religions that typically would cause less strain on such a marriage: Baptist traditionally “HATE” [John McArthur for example] Catholics.

Don’t allow “love to be blind” now and REGREAT it later.

God Bless,
Pat
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Although I’m not going to say all Baptists HATE Catholics, I’d have to agree that most devout Baptists see Catholics as being in error and idolatry. Therefore, I don’t see how a devout Baptist would allow their children to be raised in a religion which they see as leading to hell.

Lukewarm Baptist? No problem.

Devout, God-Fearing Baptist? Big problem.
 
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