Can a Catholic Mom give her daughter in marriage to a Muslim?

[Mannyfit75]

We had a Muslim man stay with us for a few weeks this summer. He was training with my husband in his business. He is from Syria. I received a message from him that he wants to marry my 18 year old daughter. I really like this man. He is a wonderful person and I have a great respect for him. He is a member of my family already. He calls me “us Mom”. I don’t know what to do as far as a marriage. I would love him to be part of the family… but I don’t know what to do as far as Catholicism?

any thoughts?
Steph

I like to add a few more advise. You said the Muslim man stay with your family over the summer. Would it be advisable to marry a man your daughter just meet in a few months? You don’t actually get to know a person with that amount of time.

For a relationship to grow, it takes time. It took my sister 6 yrs to marry a Filipino-American and finally decided to marry him. They have been married for 9 yrs now. Both are deep in their faith.

I don’t know why this Muslim persume to think he is in love with your daughter. Love is more than that. In Catholic Christianity, a man ought to love a woman enough to die for her. Just like Jesus Christ died for his Church. A man do must do the same. He also must seek the greatest and best thing for her, heaven.

As you know the concept of salvation of Christianity is totally different from Islam. It would not be advisable to marry a Non-Catholic, particularly a Muslim. If they are to marry, the Non-Muslim must agree to raise the children as Catholics. I would not even negotiate on that issue if the Muslims wants his children raise as Muslim.

Though, like many Catholics marrying Non-Catholics. They usually end up in separation or divorce. Their marriage life don’t always end up fruitful.

To those mix marriages that do bear fruit. God bless them.

 

[Mannyfit75]

It is? Entering into a relationship with the proper Decree of Nullity is the sin - not the divorce - not to get off topic though.

Well, I said if they do marry and there are difference between them. It could** lead to a** divorce. Muslim men are allowed by their law to divorce a woman, if they have a dispute that cannot be resolve in their marriage.

Read the full context of my post. I put the words if. I hope you read into that.
I’m just saying that having a Catholic woman marry a Muslim will probably not be productive.

 

[Sr_Sally]

We had a Muslim man stay with us for **a few weeks **this summer. He was training with my husband in his business. He is from Syria. I received a message from him that he wants to marry my 18 year old daughter. I really like this man. He is a wonderful person and I have a great respect for him. He is a member of my family already. He calls me “us Mom”. I don’t know what to do as far as a marriage. I would love him to be part of the family… but I don’t know what to do as far as Catholicism?

any thoughts?
Steph

A FEW weeks?? And you are already thinking of ‘giving’ your daughter to him? First, the marriage decision is not yours, it is between your daughter and this man. Second, I would strongly urge you to discourage your daughter from this marriage. I know of ONE person who as a Catholic has a sucessful marriage to a Moslem. he is also a wonderful man, but it has caused my friend and her children untold heartache that their husband/father does not believe what they do. Finally, just because you like someone doesn’t mean they acutomatically have to become a member of you family. You can continue to have a close relationship with him even if he doesn’t marry your daughter. (And I pray that unless he converts to Christianity as a Catholic first that he does not.)

 

[Mannyfit75]

i dont know anymore, does the catholic church honor marriages done under a different faith? how about the divorce from a different faith?

as long as the Non-Catholic does not restrict the Catholic of his/her religious duties as a Catholic, i.e, raising the children as Catholics, going to Mass every Sunday, etc.

 

[ljprevo]

Is the OP going to reply?

 

[DJgang]

What if he marries your 18 yo daughter and takes her to Syria???

 

[Publisher]

Does your daughter love this man?

 

[sneakers]

We had a Muslim man stay with us for a few weeks this summer. He was training with my husband in his business. He is from Syria. I received a message from him that he wants to marry my 18 year old daughter. I really like this man. He is a wonderful person and I have a great respect for him. He is a member of my family already. He calls me “us Mom”. I don’t know what to do as far as a marriage. I would love him to be part of the family… but I don’t know what to do as far as Catholicism?

any thoughts?
Steph

My niece married a muslim man. She made it clear, before they married, that she will not become muslim. She will not wear the veil. She expects to be an equal, though at this point, she doesn’t even know what’s in his bank account. He doesn’t seem to understand that marriage is a partnership and that finances are the business of both of them. She wants to have their baby baptised Catholic. He seems to be ok with that. They are still young. I don’t know what the future holds for them. I just hope they have a mutual love and respect for each other. They have a tough row to hoe ahead of them. She isn’t one to be controlled, so I’m not sure how this will work out. Personally, I wouldn’t recommend it.

 

[OneAugustKnight]

I would love him to be part of the family… but I don’t know what to do as far as Catholicism?

any thoughts?
Steph

You could ask that he convert to Catholicism or that they are married in the Catholic Church and specifically do not have an Islamic wedding. In an Islamic wedding your daughter would have to make the Islamic profession of Faith (thus converting) and agree to have the children raised Muslim.

He might not agree to that, but that seems like the best bet to me.

I am a Catholic and my Muslim husband told me that the Qur’an allows Muslims to beat their wives, marry more than one woman, and divorce. Another clash is that Islam specifies when a woman cannot engage in regular intercourse (including during menstruation), her husband may still use her to satisfy himself in other ways (or really at any time).

The reduction of sex to the objectification of a woman for her husband’s pleasure is a really base view of the sacredness of marital intimacy.

If your daughter is going to marry this man they need at least 6 months of marriage preparation/counselling so they can clear up their expectations before they get married. Muslim men can be very charming when they are looking to marry a woman. I’m sure you’ll hear about how Islam “exalts” women and such. Just get everything ironed out before the wedding, and don’t let your daughter move to the middle east.

 

[iamrefreshed]

We had a Muslim man stay with us for a few weeks this summer. He was training with my husband in his business. He is from Syria. I received a message from him that he wants to marry my 18 year old daughter. I really like this man. He is a wonderful person and I have a great respect for him. He is a member of my family already. He calls me “us Mom”. I don’t know what to do as far as a marriage. I would love him to be part of the family… but I don’t know what to do as far as Catholicism?

any thoughts?
Steph

I have to assume you are kidding…right?

 

[tundramom]

Ismaail and I had several conversations about Christianity. He is a strong Muslim, but agrees that the Bible and the Quaran don’t agree on many issues. He agrees that Christianity “makes more sense” than other religions…

My daughter does love this man. He only was here for a few weeks, but he has been in contact with my family for a few years. He is 27 years old and she is 18. He is looking at a job here in the US but also with contact and work with his charity in Syria.

My entire family is going to Syria in October to meet his family and stay with them for a month.

I will not “give” her to him without her consent. Don’t get me wrong. It’s all up to her… she is a strong Catholic. I converted from Mormonism to Christianity because of her prayers. She and Ismaail have had a strong bond for about 4 years. Her conversion and subsequent relationship with him have been an ongoing thing. Although he has only been here in person for a few weeks, he is a part of our daily lives via email and instant messaging as well as many many phone conversations with all of us.

ok… more advice?
Steph

 

[lukewarm]

Tundramom,

If your daughter is only 18 now and this relationship has been an ongoing thing for years doesn’t it concern you that a man in his late 20’s was pursuing your underage daughter?

I gotta agree my jaw is dropping this is so strange.

 

[Nevarlander]

Tundramom,

If your daughter is only 18 now and this relationship has been an ongoing thing for years doesn’t it concern you that a man in his late 20’s was pursuing your underage daughter?

I gotta agree my jaw is dropping this is so strange.

If they’ve been going on for four years like OP said… It kind of suggests immaturity that a grown man would be going after a girl who may not even have been in high school yet (when I was 14, I was in middle school). OP - this feels wrong on so many levels.

I’d suggest your daughter make him wait until she’s done with school. Remind him of Jacob, lol. If he’s not willing to wait, then… pleh.

 

[He_Man]

Ismaail and I had several conversations about Christianity. He is a strong Muslim, but agrees that the Bible and the Quaran don’t agree on many issues. He agrees that Christianity “makes more sense” than other religions…

My daughter does love this man. He only was here for a few weeks, but he has been in contact with my family for a few years. He is 27 years old and she is 18. He is looking at a job here in the US but also with contact and work with his charity in Syria.

My entire family is going to Syria in October to meet his family and stay with them for a month.

I will not “give” her to him without her consent. Don’t get me wrong. It’s all up to her… she is a strong Catholic. I converted from Mormonism to Christianity because of her prayers. She and Ismaail have had a strong bond for about 4 years. Her conversion and subsequent relationship with him have been an ongoing thing. Although he has only been here in person for a few weeks, he is a part of our daily lives via email and instant messaging as well as many many phone conversations with all of us.

ok… more advice?
Steph

This is bad on so many levels, I don’t know where to honestly begin.

There are multiple concerns here:

1. Your daughter is 18, and is considering marriage to a man she barely knows. That is ridiculous. She is too young, and certainly does not know him well enough to make this decision.
2. He is Syrian, which will make your daughter an automatic flag on various federal watchlists. The Syrian government is notriously anti-West, and I’d be concerned how many of these beliefs are found within him. Having spent a lot of time in multiple Middle Eastern countries when I was in the Air Force earlier this decade, I’d be wary. Jobwise, She will never get a secuiryt clearance and never join a federal agency, and that’s just the beginning of the headaches.
3. He is Muslim. The Words “weak-minded” and “Muslim from Syria” don’t typically go together. This will be disastrous to her faith, he children will almost certainly be weak and indifferent in their faith, and that assumes she does not leave altogether. You say she is a strong Catholic, but how strong can she actually be if she claims to want to marry a Muslim she has know a few weeks. She sounds romatically very immature, to be honest, and no offense intended, as I was too at 18.

There is no way I’d recommend endorsing this, or supporting it. Granted she is legally an adult, but that doesn’t mean she has to have your blessing. IN FACT, I’d say she needs to have a lot of sense talked (or spanked) into her. But that just me…

 

[Teeliumtrozzle]

There is NOTHING wrong with marrying outside the faith.In marriage,people must be able to talk to each other and help each other grow in faith,but if a Christian and a Muslim are married,they can still do this!They would get to use interfaith Dialougue and go to Liturgical services together,and could enjoy praising God,each in their own way.God would surely like that-He loves for ALL people to be friends.I am 100% sure that this is true,because my aunt is a devout Catholic and has been married to a Muslim for more then 26 years,and the Muslim is my favourite uncle & my godfather,and he serves Allah and my aunt serves Jesus,and they enjoy having diversity.So you see,if this man is a good person,there is no reason at all why your daughter shouldnt marry him.

 

[jrabs]

Is it completely possible that you all - including your daughter - have an overly romantic of this man whom you barely know?

He has been here and stayed with you for a few weeks, but the majority of the years you have “known” him have been via long distance correspondence - Let’s just say it’s email for the sake of discussion purposes. Probably not a far cry from reality, no?

And what can one possibly really know over email or long distance? We can be anyone we want to be over email. He can be a knight in shining Armour in email and be a completely different man in reality.

Plus you only saw him for a snippet of time at your home. Hardly representative of the man he really is.

Does she love him or does she love the man he is on email?

I have dated a man via email long distance - Catholic and a US citizen mind you. He was all this and that in his email correspondence yet not at all a gentleman or nice person in real life. Like two different people.

 

[Mannyfit75]

Ismaail and I had several conversations about Christianity. He is a strong Muslim, but agrees that the Bible and the Quaran don’t agree on many issues. He agrees that Christianity “makes more sense” than other religions…

My daughter does love this man. He only was here for a few weeks, but he has been in contact with my family for a few years. He is 27 years old and she is 18. He is looking at a job here in the US but also with contact and work with his charity in Syria.

Your daughter should **give it more time **to know Ismaail… You said the two of them only know each other for two weeks. I would suggest to give a year before considering to marry. Believe me people who just meet and marry to soon usually end in divorce.

Knowing a person for two weeks, and all of sudden they want to marry sounds too soon.

My entire family is going to Syria in October to meet his family and stay with them for a month.

That’s a start, but like I said I don’t think your daughter and your Muslim friend shouldn’t marry to soon. They need more time.

I will not “give” her to him without her consent. Don’t get me wrong. It’s all up to her… she is a strong Catholic. I converted from Mormonism to Christianity because of her prayers. She and Ismaail have had a strong bond for about 4 years. Her conversion and subsequent relationship with him have been an ongoing thing. Although he has only been here in person for a few weeks, he is a part of our daily lives via email and instant messaging as well as many many phone conversations with all of us.

ok… more advice?
Steph

4 yrs? How come you didn’t mention this earlier?

 

[He_Man]

There is NOTHING wrong with marrying outside the faith.In marriage,people must be able to talk to each other and help each other grow in faith,but if a Christian and a Muslim are married,they can still do this!They would get to use interfaith Dialougue and go to Liturgical services together,and could enjoy praising God,each in their own way.God would surely like that-He loves for ALL people to be friends.I am 100% sure that this is true,because my aunt is a devout Catholic and has been married to a Muslim for more then 26 years,and the Muslim is my favourite uncle & my godfather,and he serves Allah and my aunt serves Jesus,and they enjoy having diversity.So you see,if this man is a good person,there is no reason at all why your daughter shouldnt marry him.

Ehem, anecdotal evidence aside, your Aunt is the exception, not the rule. All statistical evidence points to trouble, disunion, and divorce. Religion is the number two reason couples fight, finances being number one. Personally, I think ignorance of how to be a proper spouse should be number one, but that’s just me.

That’s one thing that has always bothered me on this site. People often offer personal experience as evidence why something can work, when that very experience statistically isn’t the norm. That can give false hope or misdirection to someone who needs a dose of practicality thrown at them.

I don’t meant to sound terse, but the fact is her daughter is talking about marrying a non-Catholic, non-Christian, foreigh national from a country that is very anti-west, anti-US, whom she has spent very little “real time” with, who first noticed her when she was 14. Could there BE any more red flags???

 

[jrabs]

Ismaail and I had several conversations about Christianity. He is a strong Muslim, but agrees that the Bible and the Quaran don’t agree on many issues. He agrees that Christianity “makes more sense” than other religions…

My daughter does love this man. He only was here for a few weeks, but he has been in contact with my family for a few years. He is 27 years old and she is 18. He is looking at a job here in the US but also with contact and work with his charity in Syria.

My entire family is going to Syria in October to meet his family and stay with them for a month.

I will not “give” her to him without her consent. Don’t get me wrong. It’s all up to her… she is a strong Catholic. I converted from Mormonism to Christianity because of her prayers. She and Ismaail have had a strong bond for about 4 years. Her conversion and subsequent relationship with him have been an ongoing thing. Although he has only been here in person for a few weeks, he is a part of our daily lives via email and instant messaging as well as many many phone conversations with all of us.

ok… more advice?
Steph

There are a couple of things that are disturbing here. First, that the statement about the Bible and Quaran not agreeing. That is huge difference and not to be taken lightly. How does a young woman( bride) deal with such differences and remain firm in her faith and grow. We are not to remain in our faith but to nurture it and grow.

But with a husband so firm in his, can he be supportive and remain true to his promise that he would support her faith?

Then there is the case that she is sooooo young when he met her and had started romantically bonding. Does it not alert you that he a man of 23 was looking romantically at your daughter of 14??? Kindof unnatural - it really is.

As a parent, that alone would make my hairs perk up.

 

[lukewarm]

There is NOTHING wrong with marrying outside the faith.In marriage,people must be able to talk to each other and help each other grow in faith,but if a Christian and a Muslim are married,they can still do this!They would get to use interfaith Dialougue and go to Liturgical services together,and could enjoy praising God,each in their own way.God would surely like that-He loves for ALL people to be friends.I am 100% sure that this is true,because my aunt is a devout Catholic and has been married to a Muslim for more then 26 years,and the Muslim is my favourite uncle & my godfather,and he serves Allah and my aunt serves Jesus,and they enjoy having diversity.So you see,if this man is a good person,there is no reason at all why your daughter shouldnt marry him.

What about the fact that this man was apparently 23 and pursuing a 14 year old girl? Forget religion let’s get down to the real issue here.

How anyone can consider pairing their daughter with a man she barely knows, lives across the world, and who was pursuing a relationship that started completely improperly and well illegally is beyond me.

If the man was really pursuing a relationship with her daughter since she was 14 as a 23 year old, he’s a criminal, not a prospective husband.