Can a Catholic Mom give her daughter in marriage to a Muslim?

[ChristianVet]

Replying to the number of posts here that suggest the mother should allow her 18 year old to decide on her own – disregard them.

You are her mother, God gave mothers special influence over children – to protect them. If you did not feel that way, many would suspect your natural motherly concern.

If it were my daughter, I would not encourage the relationship. Besides the extreme cultural differences, the religious faiths are planets apart.

In this case the cultural differences, in particularly if the marriage goes sour, could be not only spiritually and emotionally harmful to your daughter, it could be physically harmful to her or any of her children.

Do not be afraid to be frank and honest with your daughter about the cultural and religious differences. This is not child’s play – it could become a very serious and dangerous relationship.

In this case, naivety may well be your worse enemy.

As Christians we can reach out to our Muslim friends and attempt to understand them better; I do not believe that calls for offering a child in marriage – maybe an appropriate middle ground would be correspondence between this man and your daughter’s father, only.

 

[Sabda]

If your daughter has only just converted to Catholicism last year then she is still a very new Catholic. She needs to concentrate on simply living her faith.

If it were me I would call off the trip at this point. What if you get over there and decide to say no? They will all ready be over there what’s to stop them from getting married over there? As others have already said there are serious red flags here. Taking a trip over there could end up being like the lamb led to slaughter. Honestly, this is my biggest concern and no one seems to have addressed it yet. If you go over there you are entirely at their mercy. Are you sure you want to leave yourself that vulnerable? There is only so much the US ambassy can do if your over there.

I can not see your priest agreeing to this. Saying they like someone and saying that person is a good marriage candidate are two entirely different things.

I would say that WHEN he moves to the US and takes the time to PERSONALLY get to know your daughter and shows an interest in learning about Catholicism then marriage can be considered.

At this point I would not even give it two thoughts. The answer would be a straight up no. You know very little about this man and no, email correspondence does not count. People can very easily lie over the email. It happens all the time.

You let him and his family come to you. Do not go to them.

 

[stashko]

Ismaail and I had several conversations about Christianity. He is a strong Muslim, but agrees that the Bible and the Quaran don’t agree on many issues. He agrees that Christianity “makes more sense” than other religions…

My daughter does love this man. He only was here for a few weeks, but he has been in contact with my family for a few years. He is 27 years old and she is 18. He is looking at a job here in the US but also with contact and work with his charity in Syria.

My entire family is going to Syria in October to meet his family and stay with them for a month.

I will not “give” her to him without her consent. Don’t get me wrong. It’s all up to her… she is a strong Catholic. I converted from Mormonism to Christianity because of her prayers. She and Ismaail have had a strong bond for about 4 years. Her conversion and subsequent relationship with him have been an ongoing thing. Although he has only been here in person for a few weeks, he is a part of our daily lives via email and instant messaging as well as many many phone conversations with all of us.

ok… more advice?
Steph

I say let her marry him if they truly love each other …any way the late john paul 11 allready canonised the koran with a kiss[smooched it] so now its part of your cannon,so whats the big deal ,there are very good and decent people in all nationalities ,nobody should judge a complete race by a few bad ones…the best from me what ever your daughter and you decide stan

 

[dolphinlove]

I would highly advise your daughter not to marry this man.
Ive heard of too many cases of stories like yours.
Ill give you stories of what i have heard of here in Australia.
A muslim man marries a Western Christian woman, all is good for the first couple of months, she is then pressured into becoming muslim, then when she doesnt, the trouble begins, he makes life a living hell for her, and i can tell you, this is repeated in numerous marriages i have heard of.
I pray for your daughter that she really thinks this through and does research on it.

 

[Sabda]

I say let her marry him if they truly love each other …any way the late john paul 11 allready canonised the Koran with a kiss[smooched it] so now its part of your cannon,so whats the big deal ,there are very good and decent people in all nationalities ,nobody should judge a complete race by a few bad ones…the best from me what ever your daughter and you decide stan

The Koran is most certainly NOT apart of our canon. Kissing it is NOT how things are decided upon in Catholicism.

It is a known fact that people who go to Muslim countries have been forced to convert to Islam. Is this guy like that? I don’t know, I don’t think the op can really say either, but why chance it? Yes, there are some decent people in all faiths and all nationalities. There are also some people who do truly awful things. Again, we really can not say what category this guy falls in, so why take the chance? I would not play Russian Roulette with my child’s life like that.

 

[adrift]

We had a Muslim man stay with us for a few weeks this summer. He was training with my husband in his business. He is from Syria. I received a message from him that he wants to marry my 18 year old daughter. I really like this man. He is a wonderful person and I have a great respect for him. He is a member of my family already. He calls me “us Mom”. I don’t know what to do as far as a marriage. I would love him to be part of the family… but I don’t know what to do as far as Catholicism?

any thoughts?
Steph

Is this a serious posting?

How much do you know really know about him. I know of many who get involved with men from other countries that are married some having more than one wife

 

[hosemonkey]

I would allow my daughter to marry a toad before I would consent to her marriage to a moslem.

 

[dolphinlove]

I would allow my daughter to marry a toad before I would consent to her marriage to a moslem.

i hope your daughter is not big on guys with looks then

 

[goodcatholicman]

short answer…NO!

 

[hosemonkey]

i hope your daughter is not big on guys with looks then

A Catholic toad, of course.

Seriously, I cannot think of a worse possible scenerio, especially in these times.Why anyone in their right mind would even consider marrying a moslem is beyond me. And all the red flags! C’mon mom, get real. You had better sit this girl down and tell her like it is. A few months of “bliss” and a lifetime of heartache and repression. That is what she is in for.

 

[stashko]

The Koran is most certainly NOT apart of our canon. Kissing it is NOT how things are decided upon in Catholicism.

It is a known fact that people who go to Muslim countries have been forced to convert to Islam. Is this guy like that? I don’t know, I don’t think the op can really say either, but why chance it? Yes, there are some decent people in all faiths and all nationalities. There are also some people who do truly awful things. Again, we really can not say what category this guy falls in, so why take the chance? I would not play Russian Roulette with my child’s life like that.

my own sister married a Muslim from Lebanon here in the u.s .,she never converted to islam they have a beautiful daughter that she had baptised orthodox christian …he never ever pressured her to convert he went to church with her and attended the baptism ,not all muslims are fundamentalists or fanatics,they did eventally divorce thought ,his parents in lebanon for some reason may be for the dowery had him married in lebanon that they picked out for him when he went to visit them…sister went balistic said im not going to be wife number two,thats the reason for the divorce… stan

 

[stashko]

I say let her marry him if they truly love each other …any way the late john paul 11 allready canonised the koran with a kiss[smooched it] so now its part of your cannon,so whats the big deal ,there are very good and decent people in all nationalities ,nobody should judge a complete race by a few bad ones…the best from me what ever your daughter and you decide stan

also i want to mention make sure that no body of his family ,has a prearranged marrage set up for him like a first or second cousin…like my sister im sure your daughter wouldnt want to be wife number two…when you go to visit in october …go to the former orthodox church thats now a mosque that has the relics of saint john the baptist in them ,im sure its in syria… stan

 

[inJESUS]

Answer to question : NO.

 

[rinnie]

i strongly believe in love. and i believe with love all is possible. but i have to make an exception to this one. here is the biggest reason, i cant see anyone in this faith agreeing to bring the child up as a catholic. and that is the one thing that a non-catholic has to sign no matter what religion. i do believe in so called mixed marriages dont get me wrong. But there is too much of thier religion that doesnt agree with ours. I would be so afraid for this girl. Because here is the biggest point wouldnt him agreeing to bring the child up to be catholic go against his religion. And wouldnt her agreeing him to bring the child up in his religion go against hers. there is no way this can work.

 

[MSParrott]

Wow, I don’t know what to say other than to reiterate what the other posters have said - she is still a child and I would definitely NOT allow a man almost 10 years her senior (Muslim or not) to court my daughter. PLEASE pray about this and have an honest discussion with your Priest, and heep this man AWAY from your daughter! She needs to find a nice Catholic man who has the same religious beliefs and will grow in faith with her. My step-daughter is 14 and if some MAN even thought about trying to “woo” her, I would certainly not even allow him in my home! I will pray for you and her! Please also reconsider going to Syria!

 

[dolphinlove]

Its hard enough to make a marriage work between a catholic/protestant/lutheran etc, a marriage between a catholic and muslim, well, the writing is on the wall.

 

[Booklover]

Check this out! Being a Muslim’s Wife by Abdullah al Araby.

Vickie

Did anybody check out this link?? It explains the pitfalls so well. See below:

He is asking for your hand in marriage, and you have fallen in love with his bronze Middle Eastern complexion. He is intelligent, rich, well-educated and well-mannered. So, what more can a woman ask for?..THIS MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR IS ALSO A MUSLIM!
**“There will be no problems” he will say, “you can keep your religion, I will keep mine”. And while it is true that Islam allows a Muslim man to marry a Christian woman, is it true that there will be no problems in such a marriage? To answer this question, a woman has to examine what it is like to be a Muslim’s wife. **

******Your Status ****

• Islam teaches that men are superior to women." Surah 2:228
• Islam teaches that women have half the rights of men:
• In court witness Surah 2:282
• In inheritance Surah 4:11
• Islam considers the wife a possession.* “Fair in the eyes of men is the love of things they covet: women* and sons, heaped-up hoards of gold and silver; horses…” Surah 3:14
• Islam instructs women to veil themselves always when they are outside their homes"* and say to the believing women…that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty"Surah 24:31*
• Mohammed teaches that women are lacking in mind and religion “I have not seen any one more deficient in intelligence and religion than women” Al Bukhary vol. 2:541
• Muhammed teaches that women are a bad omen. “Bad omen is in the women, the house and the horse” Al Bukhary vol. 7:30
• Mohammed teaches that women are harmful to men “After me I have not left any affliction more harmful to men than women” Al Bukhary vol.7:33
  Your Marriage
• Islam allows polygamy: A man may marry up to four wives at one time. "Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four… " Surah 4:3
• A man can divorce his wife by oral announcement, the wife has no such right. “Divorce is permissible twice” Surah 2:229
• When a husband has pronounced divorce three times on his wife, she then may not lawfully remarry her husband until she has married and been divorced by another man (including having sexual intercourse with him). “…So if a husband divorces his wife he cannot after that, remarry her until after she has married another husband, and he has divorced her” Surah 2:230
• Islam teaches that a wife is subject to punishment by her husband, beating a wife or abstaining from sexual relations with her is allowed. "As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them, refuse to share their beds, beat them… " Surah 4:34
  cont.
  **

 

[Booklover]

cont.
Your Sex Life

Islam considers the wife a sex object. "your wives are as a tilth (a field to be ploughed) unto you, so approach your tilth when or how ye will " Surah 2:223
Your Children

Your children have to be raised according to their Muslim father’s religion: Islam. If he divorces you, he gets custody of the children, and you wouldn’t be able to see your children again. The Sharia (Islamic Law) states that in mixed marriages “the children will follow the better of the two religions of their parents”, which in your case is considered Islam. The Quran states that Islam is the only true religion, “The religion before Allah is Islam” Surah 3:19. Non Muslims can not act as protectors to Muslims, “O ye who believe; take not for friends (protectors) unbelievers rather than believers” Surah 4:144

Your Future

Should you survive your Muslim husband, and his wealth is in an Islamic country, the Islamic law will apply. The wife who has not converted to Islam gets nothing, the wife who has converted to Islam gets very little. According to the Quran a Muslim wife does not inherit all her husband’s wealth. If the husband dies and he leaves no children, she gets a fourth of his wealth, his parents, brothers, uncles…etc will get the rest. If the deceased husband leaves children, then the wife gets an eighth, the children get the rest; the male child gets double the portion of the female. “In what ye leave, their (wives) share is a fourth if you leave no child; but if you leave a child, they (wives) get an eighth ; after payment of legacies and debts.” Surah 4:12

Before You Say "I DO"

Before you commit yourself to marry a Muslim, it is a good idea to examine the motives behind it. While your motive may be love, his motive could be just to obtain a “Green Card”.
I know, they say “love is blind”, I hope however that this message will serve as an eye- opener for you. You may say that your husband-to-be is a non-practicing Muslim. But let’s not forget that Islam is more than a religion; it includes a complete legal code for Muslims and non- Muslims to follow in an Islamic State. In case of a dispute between you and him, all he needs to do to get the upper hand over you is to travel to an Islamic country.

If you are still in doubt about this, may I suggest that you see the movie “Not without my daughter” which is based on a true life story of an American woman who married a Muslim man. Other similar movies are: “Princess, Dreams of Trespass, and The Stoning of Soraya M?”
This may be a life-saving experience. The lives you will save are your own, and those of your future children. “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14

Vickie

 

[dolphinlove]

Movie i recommend watching…
Not without my daughter, sally field is in it.

 

[iamrefreshed]

my own sister married a Muslim from Lebanon here in the u.s .,she never converted to islam they have a beautiful daughter that she had baptised orthodox christian …he never ever pressured her to convert he went to church with her and attended the baptism ,not all muslims are fundamentalists or fanatics,they did eventally divorce thought ,his parents in lebanon for some reason may be for the dowery had him married in lebanon that they picked out for him when he went to visit them…sister went balistic said im not going to be wife number two,thats the reason for the divorce… stan

Married a second wife while off visiting the parents huh?

And he had ‘no idea’ this was going to happen? RIGHT!

The man was Moslem through and through. Disregarded his Christian wife just like any Moslem man would.

Back on topic. I wouldn’t let my 18 year old Catholic daughter marry a 27 year old Catholic man!!!

BTW, a good man at 27 would NEVER ask to marry an 18 year old!!!

That should tell you what kind of man he is