Can a Homosexual become a Heterosexual?

[mathematoons]

I sure as hell hope so. I’ve struggled with SSA since I was 14 and its almost been 10 years since then. My first time was because I was abused by a priest as an adult. He exploited me and it turned into an addiction for me. Then I started acting out last year. It’s been miserable and I feel I’ve opened myself up to so many demons I can’t control myself. I want God so bad, I want him. I do but I feel so trapped. My situation is different because I know better. Hell I know so much better so I am much more accountable to God than someone who doesn’t know the morality of these things.

This makes me sick. I’d rather drive headon into a tree than live this way.

But hey you say it’s possible to turn ones attraction 180 degrees. I can only pray and hope I am lucky enough to be one of these individuals that succeeds.

Have you tried Courage (www.couragerc.org)??) Or googling “how to overcome same-sex attraction?”

 

[MontJ]

Have you tried Courage (www.couragerc.org)??) Or googling “how to overcome same-sex attraction?”

I attended 4 courage meetings. I just don’t see how sitting around talking about my feelings or listening to how other people feel is going to help me.

“My name is and this is what I’ve been going through this week. Yadda yadda.”

Whatever. I probably didn’t attend enough meetings to have an accurate understanding of what courage really is.

 

[Caged]

Homosexuals can “change” if they really are insecure about being identified as one. If this homosexuality we’re talking about is not just a “curiousity phase” and is a real attraction to just the same sex then they can never really change.

These camps and step-by-step lists combine constant repentance and the threat of hell with coaching to make you like the opposite sex. In a sense, they teach you to ignore the feelings you have and adopt new ones. Those initial feelings never acutally go away.

It works well enough to make a homosexual lead a heterosexual life, but that’s the extent of it. It still stands that they are going to be conflicted throughout their life, so they aren’t really “changed” at all. Just very well coached.

 

[yellowbird]

Homosexuals can “change” if they really are insecure about being identified as one. If this homosexuality we’re talking about is not just a “curiousity phase” and is a real attraction to just the same sex then they can never really change.

These camps and step-by-step lists combine constant repentance and the threat of hell with coaching to make you like the opposite sex. In a sense, they teach you to ignore the feelings you have and adopt new ones. Those initial feelings never acutally go away.

It works well enough to make a homosexual lead a heterosexual life, but that’s the extent of it. It still stands that they are going to be conflicted throughout their life, so they aren’t really “changed” at all. Just very well coached.

I agree.

Why would anyone think a true homosexual could change? If a heterosexual could not imagine having sex with a person of the same gender, what make you think a homosexual could?

 

[speakttruth]

I voted “no” since, even though an unknown number of women experience spontaneous change in sexual orientation, there is no evidence that common sense methods or psychotherapy can help people change their sexual orientation.

To explore this issue further, I would suggest the following resources.
Appropriate Therapeutic Responses to Sexual Orientation – This is the most comprehensive review of sexual orientation change efforts (SOCEs) to date. The authors found the evidence for change underwhelming, but observed also that gay affirmative therapy is not appropriate for all clients. They recommend helping clients gain more self-determination by working with them to develop a sexual orientation identity that is consonant with their values.

Ex-gay Research: Analyzing the Spitzer Study And Its Relation to Science, Religion, Politics And Culture – A collection of papers about the infamous Spitzer (2003) study. Represents fairly and accurately the two sides of the controversy between the APA and NARTH.

Ex-gays? A Longitudinal Study of Religiously Mediated Change in Sexual Orientation – The best study on SOCEs so far, despite some major methodological flaws. The most telling result is that success was not defined as change from homosexuality to heterosexuality, but as change from homosexuality-or-bisexuality to a “meaningful if complicated heterosexuality.”

We were all created to be heterosexuals. That word was created by man. We are all created to be with the opposite sex. We couldn’t multiply if he didn’t create us that way. God doesn’t make mistakes. We do. When our first parents disobeyed God and sinned, they brought sin upon the world for all generations. When Jesus came, he said that when we follow him we become a new creation. The old will pass away and the new person in Christ will be transformed. There is nothing we can’t do with Jesus help. Will we be tempted with what ever weakness we had? Yes, but that doesn’t mean we can’t heal the wounds that has resulted in many problems that lead us to sin. Will it be easy? No. But with God anything is possible. Never give in and never give up. Remember God never rushes, he does things in his time, not ours. Stop listening to men and start listening to God.

 

[speakttruth]

I attended 4 courage meetings. I just don’t see how sitting around talking about my feelings or listening to how other people feel is going to help me.

“My name is and this is what I’ve been going through this week. Yadda yadda.”

Whatever. I probably didn’t attend enough meetings to have an accurate understanding of what courage really is.

You haven’t given it time. Your virtue of patience is lacking. It’s a support group, that is suppose to help you talk about your struggles and how each of you are struggling and sharing some things that some people have over come. To make you feel like your not alone in this. It’s not an instant cure. What the moderator should do is ask you what is going on in your life that you think may be contributing to those SSA feelings. To Encourage you and to have Courage that you can live a chaste life and some have gotten their heterosexual feelings back, but nothing is fast, and if you fall, you are not a failure. Stay away from things that tempt you. He also if he has time to help you, one on one spiritual guidance. The best thing you have accomplished is that you don’t want to live that life. It obviously hasn’t brought you happiness, because happiness isn’t with people it’s with God. You need to be transformed into a life of Christ and then work on the problems. Give it over to him, you can’t do it, he can. Don’t give in and don’t give up!
God bless.

 

[Holly3278]

I honestly have no idea. I feel that it is possible but unlikely. That said, regardless of whether or not it is possible, homosexual acts are still gravely sinful.

 

[Twilight_Crow]

This is a tricky question, especially because ‘homosexual’ can encompass a wide range of behavior/thoughts/desires, and it depends on what specifically we are discussing.

I do think that some people have a default same sex attraction as their default sexuality. In this regard, no, I do not think it is any more possible than for a heterosexual to become homosexual. There very likely is some sort of genetic or psychological reason. This does not change the actions, and I believe such people are called to chastity.

On a whole, I find hetero/homosexual to be clumsy, clunky terms without a real good definition.

 

[tlimon]

I attended 4 courage meetings. I just don’t see how sitting around talking about my feelings or listening to how other people feel is going to help me.

“My name is and this is what I’ve been going through this week. Yadda yadda.”

Whatever. I probably didn’t attend enough meetings to have an accurate understanding of what courage really is.

First, I am so sorry that you were abused. I have only shared this with my wife, but since people here are being so candid, I will share with you and everybody that I was abused by my aunt between the ages of 5-13. If anyone was curious, women do molest boys and boys do not enjoy the abuse. With that said, I have come to forgive her for what she did. I pray that you can find that forgiveness too. And like you, I became obsessed with older women like you became obsessed with men. I understand being torn in two directions.

Second, I think that you should use Courage perhaps as a networking opportunity. You may not find the meetings helpful but maybe you could get patched through to a good low-cost therapist through a group member’s referral. See what I mean? My mom imparted these wise words to me once, “Don’t go around shutting doors of opportunity because you never know what they may lead to someday.” Plus, you miss a key socializing process when you stray away from the pack. It is good to be around like-minded people who share your same struggles. And this is from a guy who is pretty darn anti-social!

Take care and God bless.

 

[MC_taters]

Now I thought we’d already been down this road before. Making this claim is a slap in the face to every single one of us who have changed. and i wish you would stop saying it. tell your personal anecdote but please stop being offensive to ppl like myself and others who, thru the grace of God, have changed.

Yes, people can change. for those who are “true blue, dyed in the wool” this change is brought about by the Grace of God and not psychology, counselling, therapy, etc. Think Saul on the road to Damascus and not Dr. Phil.

Making THIS claim is a slap in the face to any real homosexual person who can admit that they didn’t make a choice, and are who they are because of God. Just because you have learned to shun your feelings doesn’t mean you or anyone else can change their sexual orientation.

 

[estesbob]

Making THIS claim is a slap in the face to any real homosexual person who can admit that they didn’t make a choice, and are who they are because of God. Just because you have learned to shun your feelings doesn’t mean you or anyone else can change their sexual orientation.

Homosexual behavior is a choice each and every time is engaged in. . We had several examples in this thread alone of people been able to propensity to engage in this sinful behavior behind them. All of us, not just homosexuals, need to learn how to shun sin. . We don’t shun sin by affirming it .

 

[estesbob]

I agree.

Why would anyone think a true homosexual could change? If a heterosexual could not imagine having sex with a person of the same gender, what make you think a homosexual could?

Heterosexuality itself can lead to a whole range of sins. Adultery and premarital sex being the two most common. Just because a heterosexual is capable of committing heterosexual sin does not mean they have to nor does the fact that one who is engaged in , for instance, in adultery mean they can’t change this behavior. . We are not animals, we do not have to give into our baser instincts, sexual or otherwise.

. The problem we often see in discussing this issue is assertion that sexual attraction should always lead to its sexual intercourse and that this is perfectly normal. . It’s not.

 

[jomoco]

Heterosexuality itself can lead to a whole range of sins. Adultery and premarital sex being the two most common. Just because a heterosexual is capable of committing heterosexual sin does not mean they have to nor does the fact that one who is engaged in , for instance, in adultery mean they can’t change this behavior. . We are not animals, we do not have to give into our baser instincts, sexual or otherwise.

. The problem we often see in discussing this issue is assertion that sexual attraction should always lead to its sexual intercourse and that this is perfectly normal. . It’s not.

Logically it follows, that if God created homosexuals with a specific intent known only to Him? He can flip their polarity switches to normal with a mere flick of His Divine Finger?

Homosexuals are a contrasting backboard that mirrors the failings of all of as flawed, mortal sinners, like a birthmark burned into our backsides as a species of Godly origins.

To the extent that they, as particularly heavily laden servants of God’s purpose, are treated with love, forgiveness and acceptance, may indeed be the yardstick by which all of us are measured on judgement day?

In my humble opinion, it may be inherently true, that our ways are not necessarily His ways.

jomoco.

 

[estesbob]

Logically it follows, that if God created homosexuals with a specific intent known only to Him? He can flip their polarity switches to normal with a mere flick of His Divine Finger?

. Unfortunately, your argument seems to be based on the premise that as human beings we are defined by our sexual attractions. We are not

Homosexuals are a contrasting backboard that mirrors the failings of all of as flawed, mortal sinners, like a birthmark burned into our backsides as a species of Godly origins.

Peopel who engage in homosexual behaviors are sinners, just like people who behave in heterosexual behavior outside of a monogamous, married relationship are sinners. Again we are not defined by our sexual attractions, no matter how much you would wish to claim we are.

To the extent that they, as particularly heavily laden servants of God’s purpose, are treated with love, forgiveness and acceptance, may indeed be the yardstick by which all of us are measured on judgement day?

In my humble opinion, it may be inherently true, that our ways are not necessarily His ways.

jomoco.

It appears you have things exactly backwards-you have created a god in your image and likeness who surprise surprise just happens agree with your views on sexuality and morality

 

[jomoco]

. Unfortunately, your argument seems to be based on the premise that as human beings we are defined by our sexual attractions. We are not

Peopel who engage in homosexual behaviors are sinners, just like people who behave in heterosexual behavior outside of a monogamous, married relationship are sinners. Again we are not defined by our sexual attractions, no matter how much you would wish to claim we are.

It appears you have things exactly backwards-you have created a god in your image and likeness who surprise surprise just happens agree with your views on sexuality and morality

One might say your all male trinity don’t roll too well in modern times, in objective reality it has brought sins of a decidedly all male variety to bear within the church itself, suggesting that flawed men are very seldom granted divine attributes, and when they are, you’ll objectively know it from their miracles of curing the sick and diseased, raising the dead etc, all the proofs necessary to engender belief in their understanding, and proximity to God’s will being done on earth as in heaven.

It seems that flawed men magically attaining divine attributes with no objective proof shown by them to support their lofty claims, are a common factor inflicting all western religions, and Christianity as a whole, to our common detriment as a people, who believe in Christ’s divinity and promises leading to a better world for all of us, warts and all.

Which is mightier my friend, truth or tradition?

In my mind it aint no contest.

Even in so flawed a mind as mine!

jomoco

 

[estesbob]

One might say your all male trinity don’t roll too well in modern times, in objective reality it has brought sins of a decidedly all male variety to bear within the church itself, suggesting that flawed men are very seldom granted divine attributes, and when they are, you’ll objectively know it from their miracles of curing the sick and diseased, raising the dead etc, all the proofs necessary to engender belief in their understanding, and proximity to God’s will being done on earth as in heaven.

It seems that flawed men magically attaining divine attributes with no objective proof shown by them to support their lofty claims, are a common factor inflicting all western religions, and Christianity as a whole, to our common detriment as a people, who believe in Christ’s divinity and promises leading to a better world for all of us, warts and all.

Which is mightier my friend, truth or tradition?

In my mind it aint no contest.

Even in so flawed a mind as mine!

jomoco

I fail to see what the nature the Trinity has to do with the morality of homosexual behavior . . It appears rather than address the issue you’re trying to derail the thread by attacking the church and religion in general. Again it all comes down to whether we believe a person is defined by their sexual attractions and whether acting upon ones sexual attractions is always moral.

As to which is mightier truth or tradition. I would prefer to go with the truth as handed down the last 2000 years by the church Jesus Christ founded, not the truth as determined by those trying to justify their sexual behavior.

 

[jomoco]

I fail to see what the nature the Trinity has to do with the morality of homosexual behavior . . It appears rather than address the issue you’re trying to derail the thread by attacking the church and religion in general. Again it all comes down to whether we believe a person is defined by their sexual attractions and whether acting upon ones sexual attractions is always moral.

As to which is mightier truth or tradition. I would prefer to go with the truth as handed down the last 2000 years by the church Jesus Christ founded, not the truth as determined by those trying to justify their sexual behavior.

Yes, it seems sexual behavior is the biggest problem facing the Church these days, but are these objective failings the result of flawed men in leadership roles they can’t possibly fulfil without the truth of God manifest in them for all to see and verify?

Your two thousand years of truth translated via man’s best efforts, is no guarantee of that truth’s veracity as God’s unadulterated words faithfully recorded and perceived in today’s Bibles.

I’ll admit it’s a thorny issue for the Church to reconcile itself with its parishoners on.

Fortunately it aint over till the fat lady in the triangle sings out atlast!

jomoco

 

[ringil]

What I am finding horrible is the difficulty in finding counseling!! I go to one of the best Catholic Universities in the world and there’s no counseling in the summer time? I can’t afford to be paying 90.00 an hour to an outside counselor. That’s ridiculous. This is ridiculous.

The Church should be willing to pay for it. Shouldn’t they? Or am I wrong? The only one willing to help it seems is the perpetrator himself!

God this is annoying. Beyond annoying.

Much beyond… Freakin’ priests. Love the priesthood and what it stands for. Love the priests too but I’m sorry… some of them are morons.

I am a therapist and you will not find an licensed and ethical one who will seek to help you change your sexuality. This is not recognized practice by any licensing body be it Social Work, Counseling, Psychology, or Psychiatry.

“reparitive” therapy is not backed up by research and has been shown to be psychologically harmful to clients.

A therapist could certainly “follow your lead” towards changing your behavior and wouldn’t encourage you to do something against your conscience. This would be unethical as well. What they can’t or shouldn’t be doing to applying a practice model for the goal of changing your sexuality. I would report a therapist if I discovered they were doing this and they would be disciplined by their professional body.

 

[yellowbird]

Heterosexuality itself can lead to a whole range of sins. Adultery and premarital sex being the two most common. Just because a heterosexual is capable of committing heterosexual sin does not mean they have to nor does the fact that one who is engaged in , for instance, in adultery mean they can’t change this behavior. . We are not animals, we do not have to give into our baser instincts, sexual or otherwise.

. The problem we often see in discussing this issue is assertion that sexual attraction should always lead to its sexual intercourse and that this is perfectly normal. . It’s not.

I would never suggest that any sex outside of marriage is OK - it’s not. The Church is clear on that. I also wouldn’t be so foolish to suggest that homosexuals can simply change their nature and become heterosexual. I think it’s waaaaaay more complicated than attending a few support group meetings, and wanting it to be so.

I think homosexuals are born that way. It’s a heavy cross they bear - one I can’t begin to know.

May God have mercy on us for we are ALL sinners, in need of His grace.

 

[kbwall]

Homosexual behavior is a choice each and every time is engaged in. . We had several examples in this thread alone of people been able to propensity to engage in this sinful behavior behind them. All of us, not just homosexuals, need to learn how to shun sin. . We don’t shun sin by affirming it .

Quite right. But still, the best a homosexual can do is simply be abstinent. There is no such thing as turning straight.