Can a Homosexual become a Heterosexual?

[SpeakInSilence]

Homosexuality is a disease of the mind like any sin; however unlike other sins it’s almost a complete overtaking of ones being. It’s one of the hardest sins to deal with, lust. There are those who have combated with it and won, but it times time and discipline to do so.

I think one of the most profound stories of of Michael Glatze, who was an almost militant gay activist who found God and used his faith to purify himself. A traumatic experience, or a constant pressure from the world has made you think a certain way, but you need to ask yourself what God wants from you. Find the beauty in the features of the opposite sex, live a chaste life with her, and find out someday the beauty of marriage in a relationship ordained by God.

 

[Ahimsa]

Homosexuality is a disease of the mind like any sin; however unlike other sins it’s almost a complete overtaking of ones being. It’s one of the hardest sins to deal with, lust. There are those who have combated with it and won, but it times time and discipline to do so.

I think one of the most profound stories of of Michael Glatze, who was an almost militant gay activist who found God and used his faith to purify himself. A traumatic experience, or a constant pressure from the world has made you think a certain way, but you need to ask yourself what God wants from you. Find the beauty in the features of the opposite sex, live a chaste life with her, and find out someday the beauty of marriage in a relationship ordained by God.

Interesting that Glatze says that he became homosexual at age 13, the same age his father died. That would indicate, to me, that Glatze’s homosexuality is different in nature, from the homosexuality of people who claim to have had, from a very young age, a homosexual orientation.

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

You didn’t check very well. There is one located 38 minutes away from you. I drive that far to attend Mass.

California, San Francisco - Fr. Mark Taheny (415) 461-0704
OR Fr. Anselm Ramelow, O.P.
(415) 567-7824

San Francisco Bay Area: Confidential Courage Hotline – (650) 450-2286

Then you are acting in complete contradiction to your stated goal/desire. Dakota, you really need to call that hotline above and talk to someone. I’m very afraid that while you have the best of intentions, you are playing with fire and are going to get burned. I think that you are quite young, and you definitely need someone to talk to…not email, not post on a forum, but actually talk to, for guidance.

As do I, Dakota, but you are using other people’s experiences to somehow justify your own feelings of victimhood. it sounds to me like you’ve had it pretty good, even up to and including an accepting Catholic family who is trying to support you during this time of trial.

In Christ,
Michelle

Unfortunately I walk or take the bus everywhere because I don’t have a Driver’s license, but when I get it I will definitely go.

So, from today on I will try to absolutely minimize contact with him, I will stop hanging out with my friends because they are clearly a bad influence on me. Should I also get rid of my teddy bear I’ve had since I was two and my nice clothes?

 

[michelleds]

Unfortunately I walk or take the bus everywhere because I don’t have a Driver’s license, but when I get it I will definitely go.

So, from today on I will try to absolutely minimize contact with him, I will stop hanging out with my friends because they are clearly a bad influence on me. Should I also get rid of my teddy bear I’ve had since I was two and my nice clothes?

Dakota, I am not trying to beat you up. I’m trying to support you. you’ve said repeatedly you don’t want to get burnt, I’m just trying to help. I’m sorry if I’m coming across as too abrasive. I don’t have any children so I’m really out of my comfort zone in talking to a teenager forgive me if I’ve hurt you.

Now, as to this young man. I want to tell you that absolutely chaste and loving friendships are definitely possible. for you, me, everybody. you can spend time with this guy, hang out, play games, whatever it is you enjoy doing. but you need to think through your motivations in order to maintain your chastity.

you will need to learn how to be friends with another man in a way that does not tempt or invoke those SSA feelings. I daresay that “pursuing”, “want to ask him to the homecoming dance” and the like are perhaps not in your best interest.

I hope that you make use of the 1-800 numbers that you’ve been provided or find on the couragerc.net website. i think that talking to another male who has experienced similar situations and feelings would be very beneficial to you. at this point, you’ve just got 3 women trying very hard to write the right thing.

 

[Mustang1971]

Now, as to this young man. I want to tell you that absolutely chaste and loving friendships are definitely possible. for you, me, everybody. you can spend time with this guy, hang out, play games, whatever it is you enjoy doing. but you need to think through your motivations in order to maintain your chastity.

you will need to learn how to be friends with another man in a way that does not tempt or invoke those SSA feelings. I daresay that “pursuing”, “want to ask him to the homecoming dance” and the like are perhaps not in your best interest.

Dakota, As I mentioned in a earlier post I am also SSA, so I know exactly what you are going through. I am a lot older than you so hopefully I have a few words of wisdom to pass on. What I am about to say I mean with love and support.

I agree with what has been stated here. Good solid non-sexual, non-romantic friendships with other men are critical for us. If you pursue this person with a intent at a friendship that would be a positive step. If you pursue him with the intent to ask him to a dance, I guess you need to ask yourself what is the end result you are after beyond the dance? If you want a friendship then why not get a group together and catch a movie?

If you pursue a romantic relationship that will probably just end in frustration and hurt. Trust me on this one, the best thing to do is just pursue a friendship.

I know what you mean about the feelings you experience around this other person. I have a friend who is one of my best friends. When I first met him, it felt like I knew him for years, a very strange feeling. As I got to know him I thought he might also be SSA because of some of the things he said and did. Well turns out that was not true. He started dating a woman and I guess part of me still figured he was SSA or at least partially.

So time goes by and there was always a part of me that wanted to be with him. Just being around him was wonderful. After a while all that happened to me was I became frustrated. There was part of me that wanted more, but that was not possible. So over time I was becoming upset and angry with life in general. Well about two years ago, Scrupulosity hit me really hard. This is where you feel almost everything you do is sinful. I am sure I have OCD and this is one way it expresses itself. It has been rough and it made me take my faith much more seriously. This made me end the dream of ever being with my friend. Now I have found I can be around him and my other friends and just enjoy life. That tension, that desire is going away. Of course it still happens, but I am finding I am much happier.

You probably have been thinking that all the other posters just don’t understand! I can tell you I understand what you are going through and the others are really trying to help you. When you are able to I would also recommend you get to that Courage group. You will be surrounded by others who have similar goals! God Bless!

 

[Hadrianus]

Mustang, what you say is quite sensible. I know nothing about Courage, so can’t comment upon that. But I do think everyone, whatever their attractions, should remember that the modern cult of the Romantic is dangerous spiritually, and ultimately leads to a ruin, or at least a diminishment, of the spiritual life.

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

Dakota, I am not trying to beat you up. I’m trying to support you. you’ve said repeatedly you don’t want to get burnt, I’m just trying to help. I’m sorry if I’m coming across as too abrasive. I don’t have any children so I’m really out of my comfort zone in talking to a teenager forgive me if I’ve hurt you.

Now, as to this young man. I want to tell you that absolutely chaste and loving friendships are definitely possible. for you, me, everybody. you can spend time with this guy, hang out, play games, whatever it is you enjoy doing. but you need to think through your motivations in order to maintain your chastity.

you will need to learn how to be friends with another man in a way that does not tempt or invoke those SSA feelings. I daresay that “pursuing”, “want to ask him to the homecoming dance” and the like are perhaps not in your best interest.

I hope that you make use of the 1-800 numbers that you’ve been provided or find on the couragerc.net website. i think that talking to another male who has experienced similar situations and feelings would be very beneficial to you. at this point, you’ve just got 3 women trying very hard to write the right thing.

I know. I forgive easily and remember kindness well

Okay, as I’ve said before I have never even thought of him sexually.

What are “those SSA feelings”? (serious question)

You mean like how I hang out with my bro friends?

I called Fr. Anselm and left him a message inquiring when and where the group meets.

Dakota, As I mentioned in a earlier post I am also SSA, so I know exactly what you are going through. I am a lot older than you so hopefully I have a few words of wisdom to pass on. What I am about to say I mean with love and support.

I agree with what has been stated here. Good solid non-sexual, non-romantic friendships with other men are critical for us. If you pursue this person with a intent at a friendship that would be a positive step. If you pursue him with the intent to ask him to a dance, I guess you need to ask yourself what is the end result you are after beyond the dance? If you want a friendship then why not get a group together and catch a movie?

If you pursue a romantic relationship that will probably just end in frustration and hurt. Trust me on this one, the best thing to do is just pursue a friendship.

I know what you mean about the feelings you experience around this other person. I have a friend who is one of my best friends. When I first met him, it felt like I knew him for years, a very strange feeling. As I got to know him I thought he might also be SSA because of some of the things he said and did. Well turns out that was not true. He started dating a woman and I guess part of me still figured he was SSA or at least partially.

So time goes by and there was always a part of me that wanted to be with him. Just being around him was wonderful. After a while all that happened to me was I became frustrated. There was part of me that wanted more, but that was not possible. So over time I was becoming upset and angry with life in general. Well about two years ago, Scrupulosity hit me really hard. This is where you feel almost everything you do is sinful. I am sure I have OCD and this is one way it expresses itself. It has been rough and it made me take my faith much more seriously. This made me end the dream of ever being with my friend. Now I have found I can be around him and my other friends and just enjoy life. That tension, that desire is going away. Of course it still happens, but I am finding I am much happier.

You probably have been thinking that all the other posters just don’t understand! I can tell you I understand what you are going through and the others are really trying to help you. When you are able to I would also recommend you get to that Courage group. You will be surrounded by others who have similar goals! God Bless!

Watch movies, cuddling, hiking and camping, etc.
Err, I already go see movies with my bro friends (last one we saw was Avatar the Last Airbender, it was absolutely atrocious).

Look, if he dated and married and was happy I’d be happy for him, heck if I was still in the area I’d be willing to baby sit the kids so they could have a night out. Of course I don’t see him dating a woman anytime soon considering he unfortunately has a bit of a misogynist streak (he says that all women are [female dogs] and whores). I fully understand that if we have a “relationship” it will only be a temporary thing, we’ll transfer to different colleges to get our degrees and grow apart, the journey can be one of the most fun parts.

 

[Chochy]

You probably have been thinking that all the other posters just don’t understand! I can tell you I understand what you are going through and the others are really trying to help you. When you are able to I would also recommend you get to that Courage group. You will be surrounded by others who have similar goals! God Bless]

Perhaps other’s understand more than you think. I understand. Afterall, I’ve been attracted from time to time, to men throughout my life, who are not my husband. There have been several who have obviously been attracted to me and shown an interest that is not acceptable. When I meet someone of the opposite sex and like them enough to want a continued friendship, I introduce them to my husband. More often than not, everyone ends up enjoying each other’s company and we increase our circle of friends. None of us live in a bubble. There are “places”, we simply cannot go, or should not go. Blessings - Chochy

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

You probably have been thinking that all the other posters just don’t understand! I can tell you I understand what you are going through and the others are really trying to help you. When you are able to I would also recommend you get to that Courage group. You will be surrounded by others who have similar goals! God Bless]

Perhaps other’s understand more than you think. I understand. Afterall, I’ve been attracted from time to time, to men throughout my life, who are not my husband. There have been several who have obviously been attracted to me and shown an interest that is not acceptable. When I meet someone of the opposite sex and like them enough to want a continued friendship, I introduce them to my husband. More often than not, everyone ends up enjoying each other’s company and we increase our circle of friends. None of us live in a bubble. There are “places”, we simply cannot go, or should not go. Blessings - Chochy

I’m going this Thursday

Here’s the thing, you found someone you loved and married them, for people who exclusively feel SSA there is no end zone on love, there is no way to score so to speak.

 

[Chochy]

I’m going this Thursday

Here’s the thing, you found someone you loved and married them, for people who exclusively feel SSA there is no end zone on love, there is no way to score so to speak.

Yes. I found someone I loved and I married them, but I didn’t marry them because I wanted to have sex with them. There were so many other important reasons. Sex was the furthest thing from my mind and still is frankly. In fact, prior to our marriage, we decided not to have our own children and God has sent us many beautiful children to love.

Please explain what you mean by “no end zone on love, there is no way to score so to speak”? Are we really so different though?

While I wait for your response, let me run something past you. Less than two years after my marriage, my husband was involved in a very serious car accident. He was hospitalized for the better part of a two year period. His very good friend was a huge support to both of us, but particularily to me. He was a bachelor and still is. We had a home on a large piece of property and our friend took over my husband’s responsibilities as if they were his own. At one point it made more sense for him to simply live in our home, so the three of us discussed it and he gave up his apartment. He and I spent many, many hours alone. He worked in the yard, cut the grass and pruned trees. We visited my husband together. I cooked and cleaned and did his laundry. We helped each other and went out for dinner, or to a movie. After awhile we were very much two people sharing a life together, meeting many, many of each other’s needs. To this day, we have a deep love for one another, but we never crossed the line, because of our shared committment to my husband and to his friend.

Could you not have such a relationship, built on a shared committment to God? I believe you could. Can you?

Blessings - Chochy

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

Yes. I found someone I loved and I married them, but I didn’t marry them because I wanted to have sex with them. There were so many other important reasons. Sex was the furthest thing from my mind and still is frankly. In fact, prior to our marriage, we decided not to have our own children and God has sent us many beautiful children to love.

Please explain what you mean by “no end zone on love, there is no way to score so to speak”? Are we really so different though?

While I wait for your response, let me run something past you. Less than two years after my marriage, my husband was involved in a very serious car accident. He was hospitalized for the better part of a two year period. His very good friend was a huge support to both of us, but particularily to me. He was a bachelor and still is. We had a home on a large piece of property and our friend took over my husband’s responsibilities as if they were his own. At one point it made more sense for him to simply live in our home, so the three of us discussed it and he gave up his apartment. He and I spent many, many hours alone. He worked in the yard, cut the grass and pruned trees. We visited my husband together. I cooked and cleaned and did his laundry. We helped each other and went out for dinner, or to a movie. After awhile we were very much two people sharing a life together, meeting many, many of each other’s needs. To this day, we have a deep love for one another, but we never crossed the line, because of our shared committment to my husband and to his friend.

Could you not have such a relationship, built on a shared committment to God? I believe you could. Can you?

Blessings - Chochy

In a way that is what I want, but with more intimacy. One of the problems is that there is no way to meet such a person other than happenstance since there is no Catholic way to find them and we both know the LGBT community is no place to find such a person. Courage uses the 12 steps so that’s not really a way to find someone. Pray to God and hope for the best is the only recourse.

 

[Chochy]

In a way that is what I want, but with more intimacy. One of the problems is that there is no way to meet such a person other than happenstance since there is no Catholic way to find them and we both know the LGBT community is no place to find such a person. Courage uses the 12 steps so that’s not really a way to find someone. Pray to God and hope for the best is the only recourse.

Dear One,

Yes. Praying to God and hoping for His best is the ONLY recourse. But you said those exact words without conviction, with little faith. If God is for us Dakota Roberts, who is against us? Who’s love is enough? Only God’s love is enough. If we allow God to love us and fulfill the needs of our heart, we are free to love others without demanding that they meet our deepest needs.

We can come to God with no doubts. This means that when we ask God for things and those things agree with what God wants for us, then God cares about what we say. God will provide the needs of your heart, because God is love. I will pray for you.

Blessings - Chochy

 

[michelleds]

Dear One,

Yes. Praying to God and hoping for His best is the ONLY recourse. But you said those exact words without conviction, with little faith. If God is for us Dakota Roberts, who is against us? Who’s love is enough? Only God’s love is enough. If we allow God to love us and fulfill the needs of our heart, we are free to love others without demanding that they meet our deepest needs.

We can come to God with no doubts. This means that when we ask God for things and those things agree with what God wants for us, then God cares about what we say. God will provide the needs of your heart, because God is love. I will pray for you.

Blessings - Chochy

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

Dear One,

Yes. Praying to God and hoping for His best is the ONLY recourse. But you said those exact words without conviction, with little faith. If God is for us Dakota Roberts, who is against us? Who’s love is enough? Only God’s love is enough. If we allow God to love us and fulfill the needs of our heart, we are free to love others without demanding that they meet our deepest needs.

We can come to God with no doubts. This means that when we ask God for things and those things agree with what God wants for us, then God cares about what we say. God will provide the needs of your heart, because God is love. I will pray for you.

Blessings - Chochy

I apologize, my mood swings between mania and depression have gotten a bit stronger recently. I guess my problem is that I do not like being passive in anything, I’m just not one of those people that let life happen to them.

 

[michelleds]

Dakota, have you read couragerc.net/What_is_Chastity.html and couragerc.net/Catholic_Language.html ?

I think they are very helpful and insightful. let me know what you think.

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

Dakota, have you read couragerc.net/What_is_Chastity.html and couragerc.net/Catholic_Language.html ?

I think they are very helpful and insightful. let me know what you think.

I feel like a freak and very confused.

 

[Chochy]

I apologize, my mood swings between mania and depression have gotten a bit stronger recently. I guess my problem is that I do not like being passive in anything, I’m just not one of those people that let life happen to them.

Dear One,

There is absolutely no reason to apologize. I meant to be encouraging, nothing more. You are being anything but passive. It seems to me, that you are seeking God’s direction and with that, you can not go wrong.

Blessings - Chochy

 

[Chochy]

I feel like a freak and very confused.

Dear One,

I am so sorry for your confusion at this time, but I am grateful that you are reaching out. Please continue to do so. Although you feel like a freak, you certainly are not one. You are a child of God.

“Your own negative thoughts are the cause of your difficulties. Wrong thoughts are heathens because they do not know God. They are strangers to your real self, and of course, they are the only enemies that you can have. God is the only presence and the only power.” Author unknown

May God Bless you and be with you. Chochy

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

Dear One,

I am so sorry for your confusion at this time, but I am grateful that you are reaching out. Please continue to do so. Although you feel like a freak, you certainly are not one. You are a child of God.

“Your own negative thoughts are the cause of your difficulties. Wrong thoughts are heathens because they do not know God. They are strangers to your real self, and of course, they are the only enemies that you can have. God is the only presence and the only power.” Author unknown

May God Bless you and be with you. Chochy

The problem is I’ve fallen madly in love with a guy, it’s the Kobayashi Maru of relationships, that’s why I’ve been so desperate to figure out how to break the scenario

 

[Mustang1971]

The problem is I’ve fallen madly in love with a guy, it’s the Kobayashi Maru of relationships, that’s why I’ve been so desperate to figure out how to break the scenario

Hey Dakota Roberts, usually the heart does not listen to logic or reason. I know how you feel, been there also. It can be painful. My best advice is to try and form a good friendship. Get to know the person as a person. It will take some of the mystery out of things. I know my mind can run away with me on a fantasy trip. Before you know it this person is larger than life.

In one of the boards for Courage we were talking about what to do when we find someone really attractive. The one person suggested you look for their faults. I know that sounds funny. What you are doing is you are bringing the person back down to a human scale. Then pray for this person, ask Jesus to help you see this person as your brother.

If all else fails, then your only option may be to limit contact with this person. I know that is a difficult decision to make. You have my prayers.