Can a religious (not a nun) woman wear a habit?

[Tis_Bearself]

This is precisely the point: veil, in consecrated life, has a specific meaning even if its colour and extent and fabric and other elements may vary significantly. A mantilla is a mantilla but a Religious veil is a veil for women Religious. The same is true for the monastic cowl. I can recognise instantly the distinction between Camaldolese and Cistercian and Benedictine, for example…and someone wearing one who is not Camaldolese, Cistercian or Benedictine is every bit as offensive as a lay person walking into the parish church and sitting down in the front pew while wearing a chasuble or dalmatic or wearing a mitre, for that matter. It is grossly and wildly inappropriate.

I think maybe there’s a language confusion at work here.

I’ve stated in several of the past posts that, in my opinion and that of a lot of other people based on past discussion of this subject, a person who isn’t a member of a religious order should not be wearing a habit, or a veil, that would tend to deceive people into thinking they were a member of a religious order.

“Veiling” as a term used on the Internet, in various articles, and on this forum has not referred to wearing the cap or veil of a specific order, which are, as you mentioned, quite distinctive to said order. Women use it to refer to their headcovering for Mass or other worship or sometimes in their daily life if they feel it makes them more modest or conforms to some tradition. However, these women generally buy something advertised as a “chapel veil” or “Christian veil” or “Christian headcovering” or “mantilla” or “hood” etc. They don’t wear a nun-type veil. Since the OP is having a hair loss problem, she may want something more opaque than a lacy mantilla, and therefore could choose from any number of hoods, head wraps, or bandannas not associated with orders.

To me this is like if someone wanted to wear a white hat but not be mistaken for a nurse (perhaps in previous eras when nurses were very proud of their caps and the cap symbolized their entry into the profession and people associated it with nurses), then you’re free to choose a white hat that is not going to give the impression of a nurse’s cap., so you’re not passing yourself off as a nurse. There are plenty of white hat styles. One might use the word “cap” to refer to some of them. But you pick one that doesn’t look like a nurse’s cap. It would also be unfair to say, “women should never wear little white hats, those are for nurses only.”

So, if the other poster made her statement thinking that “veil” always denoted a nun’s headcovering and by wearing one you are by default imitating a nun, I understand her statement. I was using “veil” in the broader term of all the different types of headcovering I see on lay women, which ranges from mantillas to hoods with scarves to bandannas to headwraps, none of which look like the veils of nuns.

 

[po18guy]

This is a difficult area in many respects, as there is a strong desire in some believers to identify as Christian via the outward appearance of holiness. The true mark, of course, in on the soul and the disposition of the heart, but I can understand the desire to be set apart, even in physical appearance.

However, since each and every occupation has its wannabes, serious discernment is needed. I was in uniformed civil service and many was the case of those who had a strong desire for the role; for the appearance, but were lacking in some crucial characteristic.

It is clear that dress that is evocative of some aspect of the religious life is appropriate in some cases, but to emulate an ordained or avowed religious can be confusing and, in some cases, not ideal for the psychological stability of the “desirant.”

Ultimately, we are called to holiness in all aspects of life and that should, at some point, stand out by itself, without pertaining to physical appearance.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

“Veiling” as a term used on the Internet, in various articles, and on this forum has not referred to wearing the cap or veil of a specific order, which are, as you mentioned, quite distinctive to said order. Women use it to refer to their headcovering for Mass or other worship or sometimes in their daily life if they feel it makes them more modest or conforms to some tradition. However, these women generally buy something advertised as a “chapel veil” or “Christian veil” or “Christian headcovering” or “mantilla” or “hood” etc. They don’t wear a nun-type veil.

Frankly, “veiling” is a term that makes no sense and one I find offensive. It seems to provoke a similar reaction in many of those of us who lived before, during, and after the Council, especially when it is applied to a past that the people using it did not know or experience – and above all which they romanticise.

The only day in my mother’s life that she wore a “veil” was the day she married. She wore a head-covering in in society until that fashion was dropped and she did in church, as did my grandmother and my other female relatives – but they would never have termed it as wearing veils. Or that they “were veiled.” Or that they were “veiling”. Or that this action had any profound symbolic meaning. It was the female equivalent of my father wearing a jacket and tie or his wearing a hat when outside. It was a social and cultural convention. I can imagine very easily my mother’s reaction and my grandmother’s reaction to the usage of veiled and veiling – they would have both thought the women using such expressions had lost their minds.

Religious wore veils. Followers of Islam wore veils.

I remember when my brother married back in the 1960s, right at the moment when head-coverings were going away. My mother wore a pantsuit for the first time to church and she and my grandmother did not wear any head-covering for the wedding – the page was turned and they never did again, although my grandmother was by then quite elderly and died only months later.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

To me this is like if someone wanted to wear a white hat but not be mistaken for a nurse (perhaps in previous eras when nurses were very proud of their caps and the cap symbolized their entry into the profession and people associated it with nurses), then you’re free to choose a white hat that is not going to give the impression of a nurse’s cap., so you’re not passing yourself off as a nurse. There are plenty of white hat styles. One might use the word “cap” to refer to some of them. But you pick one that doesn’t look like a nurse’s cap. It would also be unfair to say, “women should never wear little white hats, those are for nurses only.”

My response is based on the original question: Can a religious [not a nun] woman wear a habit.

First a Religious who is not a nun is a Sister of an apostolic congregation. That is point one. A woman Religious has a specific meaning. It is talking about a woman in Religious life.

To use your analogy, the poster’s original question would then be rendered as “Can a woman who is in no sense a medical professional wear a nurse’s uniform?” The answer I would give would be the same: To what end? You have taken a garment that has a specific meaning in a society and are wearing it as an imposter…it’s making a charade of something that those who wear it spent years in study and practicums to prepare for and to be able to wear while doing the work of their profession – and turned it into a costume.

If the faux nurse spends very long in a hospital in her costume, she is likely to have a very negative experience, and for cause.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

FYI - I know this is only one priest, but we had someone coming to Mass dressed up like a nun. My priest told her to stop, as it was confusing to people, who kept calling her “Sister.”

Sadly, that is not an experience unique to your priest.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

This sounds like an ego driven agenda.

Why would you want to look like a nun to others, when you’re not a nun and don’t even belong to a religious order ?

As Fr Don Ruggero said, it’s be similar to wearing a nurses uniform when you’re not a nurse.

Being a Christian means being grounded in reality and detaching from the false images we try to convey about ourselves.

Jim

 

[Mi_Rose]

I think a little perspective is needed here. I applaud your desire to mark yourself apart as a Catholic but in many dioceses deacons,ordained clergy, can’t wear clergy shirts so that people don’t confuse them with priests. I think the same applies here.

 

[heythere]

I DON’T want to look like a nun, that’s the point. I just want to dress simply, to live simply, but if I wear, say, a simple long tunic…or a simple long dress…could I do that knowing that some might MISTAKE me for a nun, even though I’m not one. I’m not trying to look like a nun, but a robe is a robe, and what happens if someone looks at me an thinks, “oh, they’re wearing a long tunic and a headscarf…,they must be a nun.” How do I combat that?

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Well that’s simple

Don’t dress in a style where you could be mistaken for a nun.

My wife dresses simple, but doesn’t look even close to being in a nun’s habit.

Jim

 

[JamalChristophr]

I have a friend who is a consecrated lay person with a specific purpose in serving God. He is not officially consecrated. Or if he has, it’s unofficial and private. He always wears the same clothing every day. Well, it’s washed of course and everything. He does not necessarily draw attention to himself.

It’s between you and God, in the final analysis, but run it by your confessor as others have already stated.

 

[phil19034]

I read your posts, you are 33 . That’s not too old to become a nun. You are also new to the catholic faith. Have you been through RCIA and received the Sacraments yet

Best to talk to the vocations director at your Parish. Whomever told you 33 is too old to become a nun was lying

Note: 33 might be too old for one or two orders, but it surely isn’t too old for all of them

 

[OraLabora]

For religious orders that have a habit, the donning of the habit is of very special significance. Often they have a different habit for postulancy or the noviciate as well. To copy the habit of one of such orders would, IMHO, be a grave error.

For we, laity, there are other ways to affirm our affiliation or charism (I’m a Benedictine oblate). You can wear a cross/crucifix. You can wear a scapular under your clothes. You can wear a medal, such as the medal of Saint Benedict. You can dress modestly, with a limited wardrobe, or always the same colour.

Or: you can make the public exercise of your charism your “habit”. That is, if a Benedictine oblate, live in the spirit of Saint Benedict’s Rule in how you interact with others. Same for 3d order Franciscans (I’ve seen some of those with a habit BTW) or any other lay associate of a religious order.

As for joining an order, our abbey generally fixes 40 years of age as the top limit, but exceptions can be made. So 33 is by no means too old!

 

[Don_Ruggero]

I am returning to your original post…

So…would it be offensive, or confusing, if I wore my own handmade habit?

Yes, it could be.

Women of India wear saris. They are not mistaken for women Religious.


If however, you wear this particular sari, you are conveying that you are a Missionary of Charity.


In other words, the question you present cannot be answered in the abstract…least of all when the words you are using seem to be interchangeable between a long dress, a tunic and a robe.

Note: I have no hair, so…scarf is needed. Usually, I wear it wrapped around my face with an underscarf (YES, like a “hijab”,

If your scarf is worn in the fashion of a hijab, you should have no one thinking you are in Catholic Religious life.

And at the base of it, isn’t a habit just a robe?

No, it isn’t just a robe. That is antithetical to consecrated life. There is a whole theology that underlies the habit of a Religious…each aspect of the habit has a sign value as well as a history. Part of formation in Religious life is precisely so that the candidate understands, from the perspective of both theology and canon law, these aspects of consecrated life.

It seems to me that the greater issue for you is to work with a spiritual director and to be in contact with vocation directors regarding the issue of what options are available now and may be available in the future for you in terms of vocational discernment.

I’m not trying to look like a nun, but a robe is a robe, and what happens if someone looks at me an thinks, “oh, they’re wearing a long tunic and a headscarf…,they must be a nun.” How do I combat that?

When you know the elements of a Religious habit, it is frankly very hard to achieve the look of a habit by accident and without, in fact, intending it. In all my years as a priest, living in a crossroads of cultures from Europe and beyond, I have never had any issue of looking at a woman wearing what amounts to a hijab and a long dress and mistaking that woman for a Catholic Religious on the one hand

The women in the photo below, on the other hand, are Religious

 

[Roseeurekacross]

It’s quite simple, you don’t wear anything that would mistake you for a religious.

But didn’t you want to actually become a religious? There are two issues here. The first we have discovered, age is not an issue for you at this point.

@tisbear. Words mean things specifically. As you would know, having studied law. Veiling means wedding veil or religious veil. It’s about time we stood up and started correcting a few errors creeping in to modern catholic laity terminology.

Starting in CAF.

 

[1ke]

I have no hair. scarf required

Then by all means, wear a scarf-- as you do now.

A religious habit is not appropriate if you are not a religious sister, a nun, a hermit, or some other professed religious.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Let us take two concrete examples.

First, we have HRH The Duchess of Cambridge. Yes, she is wearing a white head-covering and a white dress but the style is such that no right thinking person should confuse her with a Catholic Religious.


This Sister in the second photo, although she is also wearing a white dress and a white head-covering, is quite clearly a woman Religious.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I wear, say, a simple long tunic…or a simple long dress…could I do that knowing that some might MISTAKE me for a nun,

Nah, I wear simple long dresses all the time and nobody ever mistakes me for a nun. So do lots of other women.

I think maybe one thing that helps is to pick a color or fabric that people don’t associate with nuns. If it’s black, white, brown, or navy blue, it may look more nun-like than if it’s denim, green, a muted print, or some slightly brighter color like maroon or violet.

 

[SerraSemper]

As some have pointed out, words have meaning. In Catholic terminology, things like veils (veiling) and “tunic” and “habit” have meaning. The USA version of women’s tunics is different than what is meant by women members of religious institute’s “tunics”. A religious tunic is often a T-shaped garment that looks like a knee length or ankle length dress with wide sleeves. It is one of the primary pieces of a religious’s outfit. Many modern religious habits are comprised of the outer garments of only a tunic and veil/cowl. Some add items such as a cape, large scapular, coif/toque, etc., but the basic ingredient is usually the T shaped tunic.

In USA fashion a secular woman’s “tunic” is usually a longer shirt/blouse. It is usually not long enough to serve as a modest dress on its own but is often designed to be worn with pants/leggings.

Most store-bought dresses would not qualify as a “tunic” because they have tapered/slim sleeves that are more fitted than a simple religious tunic. Religious tunics are often made of wool or cotton or serge or some plain woven material. It is often thick to be serviceable and long lasting. Words have meaning. If you really mean buying a plain looking dress and wearing a scarf, that’s not the same as wearing a religious habit. The question from the very beginning was “is it okay for a laywoman to wear a religious habit”. A religious habit has distinctive and recognizeable features. The bottom line is that IF the clothing looks like a habit, then it isn’t okay to wear for laywomen. If it does not look like a habit and does not look crazy or frumpy then why not? (Frumpy is not virtuous. It is immodest.)

 

[SerraSemper]

@tisbear. Words mean things specifically. As you would know, having studied law. Veiling means wedding veil or religious veil. It’s about time we stood up and started correcting a few errors creeping in to modern catholic laity terminology.

Starting in CAF.

Amen to that! “Veiling” to mean the practice of putting on a mantilla is such a modern abuse of the term.

 

[heythere]

I think “frumpy” is subjective. What’s “frumpy” for one is not for another. Modesty: not showing too much skin or drawing attention to yourself in an intentionally sexually manner. I wear long skirts and long sleeved blouses with plain-colored vests or oversized sweaters. Too the common woman, I guess that would be “frumpy”.