Can a religious (not a nun) woman wear a habit?

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Don Ruggero is Ordained Clergy. Don Ruggero is talking about the Rule St Francis lived under. The Religious Rule
Yes…his visit to Rome was one of the most remarkable moments in the history of consecrated life…from a variety of perspectives. His attitude toward ecclesiastical authority is one to be held out to everyone, everywhere.
 
alright. fine. i’ll just wear a robe and scarf on my head. no habit.
 
very compassionate of you.
You think I am lacking in compassion, I take it.

The Rule of Our Holy Father Saint Benedict, chapter 5
The first degree of humility is obedience without delay.
This is the virtue of those
who hold nothing dearer to them than Christ;
who, because of the holy service they have professed,
and the fear of hell,
and the glory of life everlasting,
as soon as anything has been ordered by the Superior,
receive it as a divine command
and cannot suffer any delay in executing it.
Of these the Lord says,
“As soon as he heard, he obeyed Me” (Ps. 17[18]:45).
And again to teachers He says,
“He who hears you, hears Me” (Luke 10:16).

Such as these, therefore,
immediately leaving their own affairs
and forsaking their own will,
dropping the work they were engaged on
and leaving it unfinished,
with the ready step of obedience
follow up with their deeds the voice of him who commands.
And so as it were at the same moment
the master’s command is given
and the disciple’s work is completed,
the two things being speedily accomplished together
in the swiftness of the fear of God
by those who are moved
with the desire of attaining life everlasting.
That desire is their motive for choosing the narrow way,
of which the Lord says,
“Narrow is the way that leads to life” (Matt. 7:14),
so that,
not living according to their own choice
nor obeying their own desires and pleasures
but walking by another’s judgment and command,
they dwell in monasteries and desire to have an Abbot over them.
Assuredly such as these are living up to that maxim of the Lord
in which He says,
“I have come not to do My own will,
but the will of Him who sent Me” (John 6:38).

But this very obedience
will be acceptable to God and pleasing to all
only if what is commanded is done
without hesitation, delay, lukewarmness, grumbling, or objection.
For the obedience given to Superiors is given to God,
since He Himself has said,
“He who hears you, hears Me” (Luke 10:16).
And the disciples should offer their obedience with a good will,
for “God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Cor. 9:7).
For if the disciple obeys with an ill will
and murmurs,
not necessarily with his lips but simply in his heart,
then even though he fulfill the command
yet his work will not be acceptable to God,
who sees that his heart is murmuring.
And, far from gaining a reward for such work as this,
he will incur the punishment due to murmurers,
unless he amend and make satisfaction.
 
If you truly wish to become a Religious, the vow of obedience might be a serious point for discernment?
Chastity, Obedience, Poverty.
 
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Do you see this beautiful woman?


At the time of this photograph, she was about 18 years old. She lived in luxury. She was an accomplished young woman. She played the piano. She worried about her father and his ill-luck in managing his estates and houses. She taught catechism to people in her parish. She loved playing tennis. She was fascinated by the first airplanes. She was beautiful inside and out. Would it surprise you to know that although she lived in a way befitting her social station she was very advanced in prayer, that she was a mystic? That she was only about a year from death? That she is now a canonized saint? That’s right. She was extremely holy in the world at this age. She didn’t need to wear frumpy clothes. She wore elegant clothes. She didn’t need to wear a headcovering. She lived in accordance with her state in life. Her name is St. Teresa of the Andes.

Holiness is about living one’s state in life. Lay people should know and live their state in life well so that they are sanctified in living out their special call within the world. We don’t need to look frumpy. Simplicity can mean wearing ordinary clothes but not having many closets of clothes. We don’t need to wear plain clothing to be pleasing to God. Teresa of the Andes wore fashionable clothes befitting her situation. People in the USA are generally not destitute and should dress befitting their privileged position…
 
Such a question is one of those moments when I simply stop the conversation, get up from my desk, walk the person to the door of the chancery, make a note that this person is not to be granted another appointment…with a memo to whoever is their parish priest.
I;m trying to come to grips with a personal problem, frustrated by the number of contradictory responses I’ve been getting, along with the number of offended commentators challenging and, in some cases, borderline accusing me of egotism, immodesty, and lame devotion to God…and I get this: “Such a question is one of those moments when I simply stop the conversation, get up from my desk, walk the person to the door of the chancery, make a note that this person is not to be granted another appointment…with a memo to whoever is their parish priest.” I’m already close to tears. You’re not helping. You have no idea what I’ve sacrificed in my life for God. What pains I go through in my everyday life to make amends for the number of atrocities I’ve committed against Our Lord. I’m not a member of the clergy and I don’t have the years of theological studies that you seem to have. All I asked, ALL I asked, was whether I could, in my hermitage, wear a habit. Bad choice of words. I’ve admitted that. I should have never asked. I should have never tried to ask such an obviously stupid, horrible and damaging question. I am sorry. Do you hear me? I am sorry. sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. And no, I’m not being sarcastic. And yes, I’ve probably said something wrong again. I have disappointing the Lord through my apparent ignorance. Not being sarcastic.
 
If you truly wish to become a Religious, the vow of obedience might be a serious point for discernment?
It is the great challenge…above all when the will of him – or her – to whom you owe the obedience you have vowed is in direct opposition to your own will, at the profoundest of levels. That is when Chapter 5, particularly the latter part, is at its most soul shattering. You have to not only embrace the Superior’s will as the very Will of God but you have to do so with glad heart and not the slightest murmur…even in the deepest part of your being.
 
I wondered what murmur means, it’s come up a few times recently. Mainly where people say they are going to Reconcilliation due to murmurs.
Thankyou.
 
Well, St Catherine of Siena wore a Dominican habit even though she was only a lay member.
 
I;m trying to come to grips with a personal problem, frustrated by the number of contradictory responses I’ve been getting, along with the number of offended commentators challenging and, in some cases, borderline accusing me of egotism, immodesty, and lame devotion to God…and I get this: “Such a question is one of those moments when I simply stop the conversation, get up from my desk, walk the person to the door of the chancery, make a note that this person is not to be granted another appointment…with a memo to whoever is their parish priest.” I’m already close to tears. You’re not helping. You have no idea what I’ve sacrificed in my life for God. What pains I go through in my everyday life to make amends for the number of atrocities I’ve committed against Our Lord. I’m not a member of the clergy and I don’t have the years of theological studies that you seem to have. All I asked, ALL I asked, was whether I could, in my hermitage, wear a habit. Bad choice of words. I’ve admitted that. I should have never asked. I should have never tried to ask such an obviously stupid, horrible and damaging question. I am sorry. Do you hear me? I am sorry. sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. And no, I’m not being sarcastic. And yes, I’ve probably said something wrong again. I have disappointing the Lord through my apparent ignorance. Not being sarcastic.
Firstly, I do not understand why you are looking for answers HERE. SerraSemper is both a consecrated virgin and a canonist. I am a priest – most of the people on here are not going to have any experience of working with a candidate for eremetical life.

Neither she nor I can give you specific counsel since we do not know you, the reality of your situation, what are your possibilities – and what your diocese may or may not entertain in a petition.

I actually very much understand why you would find my statement seemingly without compassion. But it was offered by way of counsel. I have been about this longer than you have been alive. You indicate that you aspire to be a hermit…I presume under the provisions of canon 603. If you were to take this project to YOUR diocese’s vicar of religious and present it in the way you are here, you may close the door yourself in terms of your diocese’s decision.

This is a vocational aspiration that has a long and profound discernment…on the part of the person discerning eremetical life but also on the part of the Bishop and whomever he assigns…the Vicar for Religious, for example…who may draw on others to help in terms of discernment on the side of the diocese as well as in terms of formation.
 
Frumpy is not appropriate ever because frumpy by definition means it is out of place, wherever the “place” is. Frumpy is by conscious choice and decision
I’m not sure what dictionary you’re using or whether this word means something different in whatever part of the world you are in, since you’ve already discussed how “tunic” means something different to you than it does in the United States, but the word “frumpy” in the USA means what the Google dictionary definition says:
frump·y
adjective
(of a woman or her clothes) dowdy and old-fashioned.
“a frumpy housewife”
synonyms: dowdy, frumpish, unfashionable, old-fashioned; drab, dull, homely, shabby, scruffy
“the clothes made her look frumpy”
It does not mean “out of place”. Hence my comment about how I am not going to get concerned about my clothes not being “stylish” enough for some people.

In terms of blending in, when I go to Mass I tend to be dressed similarly to all the other attendees, so it is not a matter of “out of place”. Nor are my clothes dirty, shabby or scruffy. However, it’s entirely possible that someone might have the opinion that my clothes, and perhaps the clothes of most of the women at the Mass, are “frumpy” as per the dictionary definition, as in drab, boring, or old-fashioned.
 
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The OP has stated that she is a caregiver to her father. My original dissertation topic was on diocesan hermits, who de facto cannot be caregivers… I think her use of the word “hermit” is more colloquial than ecclesial.
 
All I asked, ALL I asked, was whether I could, in my hermitage, wear a habit.
Again, this is a different question from what you have articulated previously. There is a much greater latitude in terms of what one wears when one is in solitude as opposed to what one wears in public.

My suggestion would be consulting the writings of Sister Laurel, as I have found her overall to have a very good head on her shoulders.

 
The OP has stated that she is a caregiver to her father. My original dissertation topic was on diocesan hermits, who de facto cannot be caregivers… I think her use of the word “hermit” is more colloquial than ecclesial.
Oh, I did understand that…both regard to the fact that the original poster is a caregiver to her father and that, of course, that is precluded under canon 603 situation.

My advice – and I am not wanting to offend the original poster but I am trying to share from my experience – would be that she establish herself with a spiritual director who can help her with her aspiration toward consecrated life, either a priest of her diocese who could help her relative to what is possible in her diocese or a Religious who is capable of helping her to discern what, realistically, is possible for her vocationally – presently as well as in the future.

She has said that she is precluded, for example, from entering the Benedictines because she is over 30. This statement indicates to me that she does not understand that the autonomy of each Benedictine monastery means that there is no such hard and fast rule that applies universally and that there are houses where the cut-off is significantly older.

Off the top of my head, I can think of a dozen different scenarios for her. There are a number of options…but she has to know what they are. She would be far better served by engaging in a thoughtful dialogue with the clergy and Consecrated who are positioned to help her advance vocationally, potentially in her own diocese as well as through the network of vocation directors for Consecrated Life, than she is by casting about on this forum, almost exclusively filled with lay people.

That would be my advice.
 
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Okay, let’s break this down: How I dress doesn’t matter, accept it does matter so long as it resembles, or confuses others into thinking I’m a sister when I’m not, so I should take care not wear anything that stands me apart from the rest of society because to do so is egotistical and unnecessary and old-fashioned /…/
I have re-read the thread, including your edited posts.

I am offering you one parting piece of advice.

Presently, you indicate that you are a lay person – you are not a hermit in the sense of canon 603. You have not indicated any affiliation with any institute of Consecrated Life in any sense or any relationship. That is the locus for the counsel that you should live this life of intense prayer you are presently living as a lay person. Because that is what you are.

There are other possibilities available to you – but each and everyone of them will require you, in various ways and according to their various circumstances, to set aside your own will and place yourself under another…whether that is your Bishop and by extension his representatives or the Superior of an Institute of Perfection and her representatives. Because obedience is fundamental…foundational…irreplaceable in Consecrated Life. Even when one is living as a solitary. You live the life that another has decreed for you.

My counsel, therefore, is to begin with a spiritual director who will guide you and direct you and help you.
 
Well, St Catherine of Siena wore a Dominican habit even though she was only a lay member.
In a particular circumstance, in a particular situation, in a particular place, at a particular time.

Catherine became part of the Mantellate by a special exception. It was for widows and the elderly. A form of the habit was granted to her, under those charged with governance and also under the friars.

The dispositions today are quite different.
 
Yes, and Catherine was radically obedient to her confessor / spiritual director.
 
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I’ll pray for your discernment at Adoration.

I think a spiritual director will really be helpful for your spiritual life. It would be for all of us. But most of all, for those of us who are quite serious about progressing in holiness.

My 2 cents. God Bless!
 
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In my opinion, if you wear a habit people will think you are a nun because people associate nuns with the habit. So I wouldn’t wear a habit because people might think I’m a nun.
 
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