Can a woman propose marriage?

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SMHW said:
By “protection” I don’t mean physical danger (for the most part, anyway.) I think it’s more a matter that the man makes sure the woman is free to concentrate on the the internal responsibilities of maintaining a home and family because the man assumes the external matters.

Since I’m an IT person I’ll put it this way. The woman needs to worry about the Local Area Network. She can do a much better job of that if the man takes responsibility for the Wide Area Network and/or the interface with the Internet so she doesn’t need to worry about computer viruses, spyware, hackers, equipment failures, and power supplies.

I also like to compare this to the way lions in a pride work together. The females take care of the cubs and do the majority of the hunting. (They are definitely working moms!) The males major job is to make sure that other lions and predators are kept out of the area so the females are free to do what they do best. And the role of the males is significant. There are plenty of animals out there who are eager to get ride of the baby lions and even a stray lioness.

Not all lions live in prides. And lions who don’t live in prides do breed. But the lions who successfully raise young to adulthood are almost exclusively those who live within a pride structure.
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I guess I just can’t relate. I am the main breadwinner in my household at the moment. Most of my friends make more money than their husbands to too, because this economy has hurt many blue collar jobs in our area.

I teach in a Catholic school. 60% of my students have stay at home dads. Times, they are a changin’! LOL
 
sharmin said:
I guess I just can’t relate. I am the main breadwinner in my household at the moment. Most of my friends make more money than their husbands to too, because this economy has hurt many blue collar jobs in our area.

I teach in a Catholic school. 60% of my students have stay at home dads. Times, they are a changin’! LOL
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Wow! That many?
 
sharmin said:
I guess I just can’t relate. I am the main breadwinner in my household at the moment. Most of my friends make more money than their husbands to too, because this economy has hurt many blue collar jobs in our area.

I teach in a Catholic school. 60% of my students have stay at home dads. Times, they are a changin’! LOL
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Noting wrong with sahd’s…a woman having a job is not masculine. A man taking care of his own kids, is not feminine. A woman proposing to a man is a no no. 😃
 
Of course they can, and they do.

I think that women seek marriage at a higher rate than men. Most women try to get their man to propose. Some, though, don’t want to wait for their man to ask, and decide to take the initiative.

I have turned down two proposals from women, and both times the relationship went south after that.
 
whatevergirl said:
Noting wrong with sahd’s…a woman having a job is not masculine. A man taking care of his own kids, is not feminine. A woman proposing to a man is a no no. 😃
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Whatevergirl,

If you think it’s fine for a man to be a sahd (and it is not feminine to do so) and fine for a woman to hold down a job (and not masculine to do that), then WHY do you think it’s a no-no for a woman to propose? Just curious.
 
PilgrimSong said:
Whatevergirl,

If you think it’s fine for a man to be a sahd (and it is not feminine to do so) and fine for a woman to hold down a job (and not masculine to do that), then WHY do you think it’s a no-no for a woman to propose? Just curious.
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I just think men should be the initiators in certain circumstances…women having jobs, that’s not masculine. I think men should be the suitors…the ones to ‘‘pursue.’’ Granted, I’m not about women playing hard to get…or play games. I think women should definitely be easy to understand, as it relates to possible signals they might be giving off to indicate to a guy, they’re interested. But…I’m not for women asking men out, and asking them to marry them. Plus, this dates back generations in my Italian family…men do the asking. It just is the way it is in my family. 😃
 
Last Independence Day, my gf and I went on a riverboat cruise. At the start of the cruise, everyone was at the top deck watching the sights and a woman takes the mike from the captain and proposes to her boyfriend. He was a pretty manly looking guy, and he looked humiliated by the proposal. He was sitting down at the time and she was standing up (she didn’t kneel or present a ring). He did say yes, but was not very enthusiastic.

Now it’s very possible the man was reluctant to marry and was not about to say “no” and humiliate his gf in front of the crowd. But I think there was a certain embarrassment there due to the fact that it was not him proposing. In my view, what she did was emasculating even though she probably did love him.
 
Maeglin said:
Last Independence Day, my gf and I went on a riverboat cruise. At the start of the cruise, everyone was at the top deck watching the sights and a woman takes the mike from the captain and proposes to her boyfriend. He was a pretty manly looking guy, and he looked humiliated by the proposal. He was sitting down at the time and she was standing up (she didn’t kneel or present a ring). He did say yes, but was not very enthusiastic.

Now it’s very possible the man was reluctant to marry and was not about to say “no” and humiliate his gf in front of the crowd. But I think there was a certain embarrassment there due to the fact that it was not him proposing. In my view, what she did was emasculating even though she probably did love him.
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😊

*And what does she gain by taking that away from the guy? I mean…do you want to get married so badly, that you’ll just bulldoze your way into an engagement? Not me, no thanks. I’m married now, but if I were single, no thanks.

It just doesn’t seem right to me…it’s not romantic whatsoever. Hey dad, how did you propose to mom? Um, she proposed to me…

Oh.

I don’t think a woman should do this…there’s no reason. If you’re dating a guy who can’t seem to get around to popping the question, you should date a different guy. Just my thoughts on it. *
 
whatevergirl said:
😊

*And what does she gain by taking that away from the guy? I mean…do you want to get married so badly, that you’ll just bulldoze your way into an engagement? Not me, no thanks. I’m married now, but if I were single, no thanks.
*
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puts away bulldozer aimed at Elliott Yamin’s house 😊 😛 😃 I do want to get married badly though. Is hog-tying still acceptable?
 
CountrySinger said:
puts away bulldozer aimed at Elliott Yamin’s house 😊 😛 😃 I do want to get married badly though. Is hog-tying still acceptable?
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*I will find you CS, and throw a wet noodle at you, if you do…😃 Do not propose…please…trust me. You don’t want that day to be remembered like that…

I know the thought might be…well, the girl could turn the guy down. As discussed in the thread (and in others) it should be known if a couple wants to take a next step…but the actual proposal should come from the man…I also believe in rings, doesn’t have to cost a lot…but, that’s a thread for another time. ;)*
 
whatevergirl said:
*I will find you CS, and throw a wet noodle at you, if you do…😃 Do not propose…please…trust me. You don’t want that day to be remembered like that…

I know the thought might be…well, the girl could turn the guy down. As discussed in the thread (and in others) it should be known if a couple wants to take a next step…but the actual proposal should come from the man…I also believe in rings, doesn’t have to cost a lot…but, that’s a thread for another time. ;)*
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I want a ring, so I can’t propose. 😃
 
CountrySinger wrote:

“I want a ring, so I can’t propose.”

I agree. If a woman wants to marrty me, she will have to buy me a nice ring.
 
Magickman said:
CountrySinger wrote:

“I want a ring, so I can’t propose.”

I agree. If a woman wants to marrty me, she will have to buy me a nice ring.
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LOL, Magickman! Well, some men’s wedding rings do have diamonds in them…but I honestly would never think of buying one for a proposal…
 
whatevergirl said:
😊

*And what does she gain by taking that away from the guy? I mean…do you want to get married so badly, that you’ll just bulldoze your way into an engagement? Not me, no thanks. I’m married now, but if I were single, no thanks.

It just doesn’t seem right to me…it’s not romantic whatsoever. Hey dad, how did you propose to mom? Um, she proposed to me…

Oh.

I don’t think a woman should do this…there’s no reason. If you’re dating a guy who can’t seem to get around to popping the question, you should date a different guy. Just my thoughts on it. *
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Well, if it makes the woman seem desperate to propose, why doesn’t it make the man seem desperate??? He wants to get married so badly that he proposes… I’m not trying to be snarky, I’m really just pondering.

In my case, my dh (then boyfriend) and I had talked about marriage quite a bit. We both knew we loved each other and were on the same page. He had this idea in his mind that he had to wait another month or two…it had to be a certain time frame even though we both said we were ready to take the next step. I did ask him, but as I think I said before, he said, “You can’t ask me. I have to ask you.” It didn’t sour the relationship; we both just laughed about it.

Then shortly after that, a couple weeks I think, he did blurt out a proposal…unplanned…no ring (he wanted me to choose one though I didn’t feel I needed one…but that’s another topic). He’s not a wordy guy, and simply said, “Let’s get married.” So, just because he did the official proposing, that didn’t make it romantic. It might have been nice to have a rose and a lovely setting, but we didn’t, and you know what? I know I wouldn’t love him anymore now than I already do, if we’d had a “romantic proposal”. Our kids know the story, but the one they like better is how we met in the first place.

The proposal part just seemed like a formality really, because as I said, we both knew we wanted to get married. Neither one of us was desperate. We were in love. It was just a matter of making a firm decision and moving forward with wedding plans.

Whatevergirl, I do respect where you’re coming from, your Italian family traditions and everything, but not everyone has the same traditions. Honestly, I am pretty traditional in most things, too. God bless.
 
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