Can Catholics attend same-sex marriage ceremonies?

[PrisonerOfChrist]

Hello! I found a helpful response to this question from Michelle Arnold here in the forums but it is so old all the links are broken. Can someone repost a good response to this question with links to the catechism and other supporting church documents.

Thank you!

Can Catholics attend a euthanasia ceremony? The gay couple are selling their souls to the devil and destining their selves to hell. Why on earth would you want to attend that?

 

[SeriousQuestion]

I hate it when the OP posts something controversial and then they leave.

 

[Loud-living-dogma]

Unjust and cruel to any children that they might adopt in future.

 

[Thorolfr]

Unjust and cruel to any children that they might adopt in future.

Most gay men I know haven’t adopted any children. If they do have any children, they are usually the biological children of one of the two men and the children would still be part of this family even if the two men weren’t married.

 

[edwest211]

That’s off topic. Catholics should not attend a same-sex marriage.

 

[Thom18]

It would be best not to attend (as others have already states), both because it’s a participation (no matter how small) in an imitation of marriage, and because it can cause scandal.

 

[SeriousQuestion]

Is the sun usually yellow?

 

[therese1998]

Fr. Mike Schmidt’s suggestion is to skip the ceremony so that you are not a witness to the actual event and go to the reception to show your love as a family member or friend. I think that’s a good way to go about it

I think that sounds very reasonable.

Maybe there’s something I’m missing in this solution.

I think it’s about living in a world that encourages behavior that Catholics have long recognized as sinful. We need to maintain loving relationships without friends, children, parents, cousins, co-workers, etc. We also need to stay faithful to our faith. I think this solution symbolizes the balance we are forced by the world to try and maintain.

we’re condemning those we love to hell.

Homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered. We have knowledge of grave matter. We don’t ever have a guarantee of full knowledge or full consent. It’s also a lose-lose when you start pre-determining that people are going to Hell. Jesus not only celebrated with sinners, He spent a LOT of his time with them. He did not shy away from acknowledging their sin, yet He rebuked those who tried to isolate the “bad” people from the “good” people. The woman caught in adultery, the woman who washed His feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair, etc. He did not condone sin, he told them to “sin no more” in fact, but he did not isolate them or encourage others to isolate them from friends/family/society.

Are you demonstrating the “respect, compassion, and sensitivity” that the Catechism says must be shown towards people who are attracted to others of the same sex?

This. While I understand the reasoning behind it, I am truly uncomfortable with the idea of shunning people. He never models that.

Yes. I am.

It is not compassionate to support someone’s delusion.

It is not respectful to tell them something that is untrue.

It is not sensitive to attend a ceremony that I believe to be literally a damnable offense.

“You are deluded”, “Your feelings and most important relationship is untrue”, “You are going to Hell” Is worlds away from “Based on our understanding of sexuality, homosexuality is not a licit forms of sexual expression. I’m so sorry and I don’t mean to disrespect you at all, but rather stay true to my faith.”“Your marriage wouldn’t be recognized in our Church, but I recognize it is deeply and sincerely meaningful to you and I will respect it as such”, "It is a matter of serious gravity in our Church to attend a same sex wedding. Is it okay if I think about for .a _____.? " Your short, terse statements don’t express respect, compassion or sensitivity and I think that’s why the question was asked.

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[therese1998]

quote=“gcshapero, post:19, topic:506701”]
The short answer is we may not since it is a direct violation of God.
[/quote]
ANd yet, we would attend a Protestant wedding or a Jewish wedding or a marriage where one or both is divorced. Jewish people directly deny God in the 2nd person. Protestants falsely celebrate the Eucharist, which is a terrible thing. Re-marriage without the death of the prior spouse is considered adultery in our Church. Yet, we talk about “ecumenism” and “living in the world”, etc when we talk about these things. I think we need to be ecumenical in the way we deal with issues that are not illegal, violent or criminal and are culturally acceptable but not within our knowledge of Truth.

Would you go to support a friend who was having an abortion?

Support? Very possibly. Drive her, provide money, encourage her, refrain from talking her out of it? No. Shun her, tell her she’s going to hell, tell her she’s delusional? No.

 

[therese1998]

we are obligated to accept that all sin is to be rejected and we need to work as best we can to reject it.

Perhaps, but then you are hypocritical the next time you know of sin and don’t reject it. If you live your live as a faithful Catholic who takes the call to evangelization seriously, people already know what your views are and why they are what they are.

my point was that everyday I look on this forum there is yet another thread about homosexuality.

I understand where you are coming from, but different people process differently. Maybe you process by thinking about it and turning it over and over in your mind. Other people process by talking or expressing about it and asking questions and debating. I think they should be able to do that if that is their need.

Same Sex marriage is a delusion.

Yes, I believe that too. But I also recognize that a LOT of people live in delusion these days, anybody who sins or has ever sinned does or has deluded themselves. In fact, is it a delusion to think that we know the mind of God on this matter when there is clear support for looking at this issue from a different perspective from our Pope and from many of our priests and bishops? We can only do our best, honestly search the Scriptures, pray, process and, ultimately, go with our conscience since there is no clear direction from the Church.

What happens in nature is a terrible basis for morality.

Gotta say this is correct. Male lions, finding a vulnerable female with cubs, will kill the cubs to force the female to go back into heat and have his cubs, thereby eliminating the DNA of the “rival” lion and promoting his own. Should we start advocating that random males break into married households when husbands are away, kill the children and rape the woman? Seems like there might be argument for “immorality” there. Some female spiders kill and eat their heterosexual mates. Seems like an extreme social policy. Some animals are cannibalistic. Again, a little over the top.

I didn’t go the wedding of a sibling who married outside the Church

It’s your choice to potentially destroy your relationship with your sister and/or your family. That is not something that Christ modeled and I don’t believe we are obligated to do so.

Popular opinion is a very poor basis on which to build morality.

True as well. Again, we need to use the tools we have (the CCC, the Scriptures, our leaders, etc) to make the best decision we can and then let it go.

There is simply no single way of approaching this question, even from the Catholic perspective.

Jesus approached serious sin every single day of His life. He also dealt with people who were very black and white in what they believed and in what they put on others.

 

[crenfro]

They can but they may not.

 

[Elf01]

No. Shun her, tell her she’s going to hell, tell her she’s delusional? No.

Not going to someones wedding isn’t shunning them. I did not go to my sisters wedding but I did text her wishing her and her husband every happiness on the day and I ring her on their anniversary.

I visit them too but I would not be comfortable staying overnight or having them overnight in my house.

 

[therese1998]

Not going to someones wedding isn’t shunning them.

I disagree. Refusing to attend what is someone’s “biggest day” is tantamount to shunning, at least in that area. It’s a very strong “I reject this thing” statement.

 

[Elf01]

It’s a very strong “I reject this thing” statement.

Yes. I reject this thing. Not you as a person.

 

[lilypadrees]

I would’t attend their ceremony or any of the events surrounding it.

 

[ProdglArchitect]

Yes, I believe that too. But I also recognize that a LOT of people live in delusion these days, anybody who sins or has ever sinned does or has deluded themselves. In fact, is it a delusion to think that we know the mind of God on this matter when there is clear support for looking at this issue from a different perspective from our Pope and from many of our priests and bishops? We can only do our best, honestly search the Scriptures, pray, process and, ultimately, go with our conscience since there is no clear direction from the Church.

It is not delusional to think we know the mind of God on this matter considering that He made Himself explicitly clear in scripture. The verse from Romans comes to mind, along with several instance from the OT. There’s also the dogmatic proclamation from the Church on the subject, which, if you believe that Christ founded the Church and promised to protect it, you are obligated to acknowledge and believe.

 

[gcshapero]

Perhaps, but then you are hypocritical the next time you know of sin and don’t reject it. If you live your live as a faithful Catholic who takes the call to evangelization seriously, people already know what your views are and why they are what they are.

Just so I understand, when you say know of sin and don’t reject it, what does this mean specifically?

There are many layers to this. Examples:

1. When someone sees random kids talking about to their parents, they have no power or place to intervene.
2. When someone else someone else stealing and they just stay silent (when they could have intervened).
3. When someone says something blasphemous in the heat of the moment and later regrets and feels horrible for offending God.
4. When someone blasphemes against God continuously and has no regret whatsoever.

“Knows sin and doesn’t reject it,” I don’t know exactly what this means. If you are speaking directly to me, people know I’m a Catholic – I tell them and I work everyday to display it (though sometimes much to their displeasure depending on who it is and in what context). I’m not a perfect Catholic, there perhaps only Mary was.

Ultimately, despite our choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, we A) must still accept all of the official teachings of the Church, and B) work as best we can to uphold them on every level including personally.

Just because we do miss the mark sometimes does NOT give us license to shrug and say “well, I’m gonna sin anyway, so I may as well go full throttle.”

When it comes to a so-called same sex marriage ceremony, because we know for a fact that this is not a true marriage according to the Church and that it violates the teachings, we first must accept this as fact and honor God to not participate in it. As we must do for everything that is sinful.

Participating in a same-sex wedding (even as a guest) is not something one does at the heat of the moment. It requires thought (having to set the date, get your attire, schedule, get the gift for the couple, etc). This is a direct act of the will. You don’t go to these and then later say “it was an accident. I just did it and didn’t think it through.” It was thought through indeed.

I’m not saying doing that is now a worse sin than something that can be impulsive, but it does still require a conscious decision.

 

[gcshapero]

I am seeing a strange trend in this thread where people are saying that it is acceptable because we humans are sinful beings, and therefore it is OK. It is followed up with saying anyone who rejects it is a hypocrite because they sin too.

This is not how it works. We are not allowed to sin. We do in disobedience to God, but it is not something He allows. He is merciful, but He does not permit sin.

We choose to do wrong and fail to do good, and for that reason, we MUST go to confession, ask for forgiveness, and work to become holier and mold our will to God’s.

It’s very strange to me that this is the argument I am seeing.

“You are hateful if you don’t go, and Jesus said to love.”
“Ohh, so now you’re perfect? No, you’re not, so lighten up.”
“We all sin, therefore, this is OK.”

These are very odd defenses.

 

[gcshapero]

We are guilty of some sin or other so why are we picking on one(the act of homosexuality), let him without sin cast the first stone.

Yes I agree.

So you would agree with me that we should indeed avoid participating or promoting same-sex marriage, correct?

 

[Loud-living-dogma]

Loud-living-dogma:

Unjust and cruel to any children that they might adopt in future.

Most gay men I know haven’t adopted any children. If they do have any children, they are usually the biological children of one of the two men and the children would still be part of this family even if the two men weren’t married.

https://www.lifelongadoptions.com/lgbt-adoption/lgbt-adoption-statistics
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