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SanRafael1102
Guest
I don’t want children, but I want to be a faithful Catholic, should I just not date or get married?
Can Catholics ever get married with no intention of ever having children?
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poche
Guest
The deliberate intention to not have children is an impediment to marriage.
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redal
Guest
The canonical requirement is that you be open to children, not that you actively pursue procreation…but neither can you impede pregnancy by willful design…if you don’t want children, you are fine, and if children enter your life and you are accepting of God’s will, you are fine…contraception is the dividing line.
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1ke
Guest
A permanent intention against children is indeed an impediment to valid marriage.
There are many layers to that statement, however, so I encourage you to work with your priest and a counselor to dig in to the “why” of that statement. Is it because you have a vocation elsewhere? Is it because of past trauma? Etc.
Also, is it really a permanent intention against children, or simply fear of the unknown, etc.
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1ke
Guest
It is a bit more than just that. The OP needs to talk to their priest.
Tis_Bearself
Patron
The general advice I was given as a young person was that if you don’t want children, don’t get married.
If you’re looking to discuss the fine details, nuances and canonical implications of that, talk to your priest.
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Ammi
Guest
How do you expect to not have children?
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mrsdizzyd
Guest
I think the answer to this will help the OP determine whether or not they should pursue marriage.
Contraception is a no-no in our faith. So even with NFP, barring any fertility issues, you should expect that at some point a child may be conceived. How will you handle that?
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Ammi
Guest
And NFP should have just reasons. Simply not wanting children certainly is not a just reason.
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mrsdizzyd
Guest
Indeed. So, at some point the OP will find his or herself in the position of not being able to do much of anything to prevent/delay conception without incurring sin.
OP, what will you do when you arrive at this point? I hope your answer is that you would be open to life. If not, you might want to reconsider marriage.
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Inquiry
Guest
I have occasionally wondered if there were other ways to fully embrace motherhood and fatherhood in the context of marriage that would make it legitimate to perpetually avoid (though not reject) biological children of their own through NFP. Note, I’m not talking about a technicality to get around the requirement but a joyful acceptance of the calling of parenthood that happens to not include pregnancy. As two potential examples:
A couple who believed that the world was too overpopulated to ethically bring in more people and so instead chose to joyfully adopt children in place of pursuing ones of their own.
A couple whose calling would be dangerous to bring children into, say, travelling to places of disease and war to set up schools and orphanages.
A couple who believed that the world was too overpopulated to ethically bring in more people and so instead chose to joyfully adopt children in place of pursuing ones of their own.
A couple whose calling would be dangerous to bring children into, say, travelling to places of disease and war to set up schools and orphanages.
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mrsdizzyd
Guest
Fear of over population is not an acceptable reason to use NFP indefinitely.
In the second instance, it’s worth talking with a priest. The danger and disease aspect might be an acceptable reason to use NFP for however long you were in those circumstances.
In the second instance, it’s worth talking with a priest. The danger and disease aspect might be an acceptable reason to use NFP for however long you were in those circumstances.
Tis_Bearself
Patron
We already had a very long thread on whether Catholics could voluntarily forego having biological children in favor of adopting some children in need. Unfortunately I cannot find it or remember the title, but maybe someone will post. It was just in the last few weeks and was very long.
As for couples who want to travel to set up schools and orphanages, there have been Catholic couples in history who either married each other for the purpose of working together in some kind of ministry with the understanding that it would be a Josephite marriage, or who experienced some kind of conversion to the faith and decided to stay married but make it a Josephite marriage while they both focused on running a hospital or caring for the poor or something. It’s generally okay to have a Josephite marriage if both halves of the couple agree, but the motivation for the Josephite marriage is to increase personal holiness and/or do some holy work, not just because you “don’t want to have children”. Remember that in the original Josephite marriage, Mary and Joseph did have a child, sent to them by God. And they welcomed him.
As for couples who want to travel to set up schools and orphanages, there have been Catholic couples in history who either married each other for the purpose of working together in some kind of ministry with the understanding that it would be a Josephite marriage, or who experienced some kind of conversion to the faith and decided to stay married but make it a Josephite marriage while they both focused on running a hospital or caring for the poor or something. It’s generally okay to have a Josephite marriage if both halves of the couple agree, but the motivation for the Josephite marriage is to increase personal holiness and/or do some holy work, not just because you “don’t want to have children”. Remember that in the original Josephite marriage, Mary and Joseph did have a child, sent to them by God. And they welcomed him.
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SanRafael1102
Guest
Okay, I should have included more information. I didn’t mean to imply that I wanted to use contraception, just maybe not “try” for children. Just a happy, sexless marriage. If we ever changed our minds, we still wouldn’t use contraception.
If a child were the outcome, we’d love them all the more.
If a child were the outcome, we’d love them all the more.
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mrsdizzyd
Guest
I don’t think the church would allow you to contract a marriage under those circumstances. If your marriage naturally progressed to that ie a Josephite marriage, that is a different matter.
This is a question you should ask your priest.
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Inquiry
Guest
The question was less about avoiding children or increasing holiness and more about are if there other ways to fully express motherhood and fatherhood within marriage. This is a point of interest not because I’m interested in avoiding biological children (quite the contrary), but because marriage is sacramental and I’m interested in exploring what that specific side of it is meant to reveal to us.
Tis_Bearself
Patron
As I mentioned, I would suggest you search and try to find the recent thread that dealt specifically with Catholics choosing not to have biological children so that they could adopt.
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Rau
Guest
So, the marriage would not even be consummated?
Neither partner feels much sexual attraction to the other?
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1ke
Guest
Josephite marriages are to be undertaken only under spiritual direction. And the spouses must both understand and agree that either spouse can ask for their conjugal rights and the other must take up conjugal life.
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