I’ve suggested the rosary. He thinks it would be a powerful thing to do , if he needed help. But he sees nothing wrong with looking, even at our daughters, as long as he is not doing anything, and is repressing any thoughts that are impure, and he says his looking is just ‘because his eyes are drawn there’. He doesn’t think it is anyone’s business where he is looking. He doesn’t think he should stop. He doesn’t admit that he is thinking impure thoughts about his daughters or students, just looks. He has a Christian Scientist background in which all thoughts that were deemed ‘wrong’ by the church were repressed – this starts as they are babies and cry from falling or getting their fingers pinched in a door or whatever or any discomfort due to illness or other, which is ‘wrong thought’ because they don’t believe in the physical body so they don’t believe in hurt or illness or pain or nearsightedness or cavities or broken bones. So in order to survive in the church of CS you have to get really good at repression of what is truth so you can believe the distorted truths they preach. Anyway, he doesn’t admit to his thoughts or feelings on anything really, and depends on outside cues as to how to act appropriately in public situations, which is why he looks so good to those who don’t deal with him day-to-day, and also why he doesn’t think his lust is anything to stop, because there is no external evidence as to his real thoughts, and he feels if I would just shut up and not mention it to him then all would be fine. Like if a tree falls in the forest and no one sees it then it didn’t happen, or how ever that goes? In some part of him he knows it is wrong, but like speeding on a lonely straight of highway, he doesn’t see any reason not to do it. He says everything would be fine if I and my daughters and others didn’t know he is looking. So anyway, he won’t pray the rosary, but I am, and he even won’t pray for purity or healing, so anyone else who will join me in prayer, I would deeply appreciate it.
