Can i join the church if my husband was married before?

[alexnden]

Your wife should have told you the reason why your marriage is not considered valid has nothing to do with you being Protestant. It is not valid because your wife was not free to marry when she married you. Your marriage will not be valid until your wife obtains an annulment AND your marriage is convalidated by a priest. The convalidation part is very simple compared to the annulment.

I knew it wasn’t valid (in the eyes of the church) already because her first marriage wasn’t annuled. There was another reason which my wife didn’t want to tell me about. I don’t want to go into what he said, but it was something I found odd and will need to discuss with him.

 

[Angels_Unaware]

Ok, if you know the “other” reason why your wife’s priest said your marriage was invalid, and you just don’t want to post the reason, then why are you here asking us if we can think of a reason why and telling us it might keep you from converting?

 

[alexnden]

Ok, if you know the “other” reason why your wife’s priest said your marriage was invalid, and you just don’t want to post the reason, then why are you here asking us if we can think of a reason why and telling us it might keep you from converting?

I guess it was because I posted the question BEFORE I found out the real reason last night.

Therefore, I don’t need to speculate any further. And if you want to know why she didn’t tell me earlier, she didn’t want to hurt my relationship with the priest but she told me anyway after I convinced her it would not. She was right, I was wrong.

 

[Angels_Unaware]

Hmm. Unless you are an unbaptized Protestant, had a sex change operation or are impotent, are your wife’s first cousin, or married your wife before the age of 16 I cannot think of an impediment to marriage.

 

[jmcrae]

Hmm. Unless you are an unbaptized Protestant, had a sex change operation or are impotent, are your wife’s first cousin, or married your wife before the age of 16 I cannot think of an impediment to marriage.

I think it’s a bad idea to speculate. Let’s respect his privacy.

 

[Angels_Unaware]

I think it’s a bad idea to speculate. Let’s respect his privacy.

Agreed; but I do want to point out that in most of the cases where there is an impediment to marriage you may be able to receive a dispensation. Granted, most likely not in the event there has been a sex change, but in most cases.

The point being- sometimes it is more personal feelings of intrusion, and not real unfairness by the Church that causes the bitterness this person now feels toward the priest.

 

[winnemuccalady]

You misunderstood what I was saying about my husband. It is not about the sex. It is that he would not understand because this faith is not in his heart. You do not know my heart either, It would take a long time to go into my personal history since I am now 50 and have been through a world of pain. I seek many things in Catholicism, but above all I seek a personal relationship with my God, who knows my heart.

 

[jmcrae]

You misunderstood what I was saying about my husband. It is not about the sex. It is that he would not understand because this faith is not in his heart. You do not know my heart either, It would take a long time to go into my personal history since I am now 50 and have been through a world of pain. I seek many things in Catholicism, but above all I seek a personal relationship with my God, who knows my heart.

These things can only be worked out one step at a time. Don’t rush it. Talk to a good and holy priest (one who also has at least a few grey hairs, and who is neither too red nor too pale in the face) about these things, and ask for his good advice. Then, follow his advice, and his only.

 

[willwhite07]

I was told if you were married before you came into the church your pAsty was absolved if you did your pennance. i was married before years ago and ended up in divorce,i was 25,it ended in annulment by the mother,my last wife made me a widow,so my status changed…i had a right to marry and went that way. i am presently married in the church and receiving full sacrements. My RCIA sister told me when i was seeking confirmation all things before coming into the church were absolved by first confession,many reconciliations ago.
Our bishop might see things different. good luck or rephrasing it God be with you.I know if you were married in Holy Mother Church before you must seek an annulment for remarriage into the church but outside of the church? have a blessed day!

 

[rolltidefan]

These are all important things to mention to your priest when you get an interview with him. No one on the Internet can answer these questions for you.

You also have to be prepared for the fact that you might not receive a Declaration of Nullity. It may turn out that your husband remains validly married to his first wife.

Just curious but if the latter part is found to be true…does she leave her husband or does she continue to live just as brother and sister in this situation?

 

[jmcrae]

Just curious but if the latter part is found to be true…does she leave her husband or does she continue to live just as brother and sister in this situation?

They would seek out the counsel of a good priest, and follow his advice.

These kind of situations are rare, but they do happen 5% of divorced marriages are found to have been valid, and the person remains married in the eyes of God to the first spouse until one of them dies. So, we cannot simply assume that every petition will be granted, nor can we behave ahead of time “as if” they are going to be.

 

[jmcrae]

I was told if you were married before you came into the church your past was absolved if you did your penance.

On-going situations are obviously not “in the past” - they are in the present, and they are continuing on into the future. Being married to someone else’s wife or husband is a present event that is continuing on into the future; that’s why it can’t be absolved in the Confessional.

We are required by Church law to assume that all marriages are valid until they have definitely been proven not to be, by the Marriage Tribunal.

 

[willwhite07]

that is true if you were married in the church,being a convert i had many screw-ups before the church as in the 60s. My sis told me an amazing thing,she said where many used to so called shack up with women i married a couple, i left no one they left and i only released myself from what was doomed by drugs or and achohol,not by me but from the otgher side.
I was absolved of my sins from my youth which covered marriage and abortion… i have and am atoning from my sin and jesus is my driving force, i was told there is having peace with god which i have and peace of the church,god forgives where the church wants you to pay! these partys are long dead,i am married to the lord,as well as the sacrement of marriage,have a blessed day. Some debts never get paid… we must stand before god in the end,and explain our sin which i have washed away everytime i receive his body which is daily. thanks

 

[Sierrah]

I think a lot of people here forget only a church tribunal can decide if a marriage was or was not valid. A priest can give you the best advice on the subject and where to start an investigation:thumbsup: and it’s also true the church considers all marriages valid till proven not valid through the annualment process. I would seek the advice of a priest before getting yourself all worked up. I think there is such a thing as dispensations due to the fact that you were a member of another church but the priest would be you best place to start.

 

[willwhite07]

AMEN to that!
He makes the plans not us,
and his dont break,his stick for always. Praise Jesus