S
S_V7
Guest
Don’t give up!There’s nothing God can’t handle.
Hope your situation improves:console:
I will pray for you
- Status
Don’t give up!There’s nothing God can’t handle.
Hope your situation improves:console:
I will pray for you
S
sajala
Guest
Dear Jeannette,
I just want to thank you for posting this message and to thank all you wonderful people for your thoughtful responses and suggestions. I, too, have struggled with suicidal thoughts for several months even though I was on anti-depressants. I recently started exercising again, and eating healthy food, and that seems to have helped a lot, too. I had stopped exercising because of some physical problems and chronic pain, and my eating suffered: I’d either eat too much or not at all, but my weight continued to rachet up and that made me more depressed. For me it is a brain-chemistry issue, but when I start thinking about how peaceful it would be not to have to deal with all the pain, emotional and physical, it’s very alluring. But in those times I pray and cry, and God never fails to answer. Yet in the back of my mind, is always the thought that I’m okay for now, but what about tomorrow. Is something else going to happen that hurts too much? that causes me to start wishing for the peace and quiet of the grave? But I’m still here, still hoping, still praying, and still lurking in these forums. I’m so grateful for all of you.
Oh, and yes, I have seen a psychologist off and on over the last few years. Some are more helpful than others. The pastor of the church we were in before we moved was most helpful of all, and he didn’t charge me $100 for 55 minutes of theraphy.
God bless,
Sajala
P
pennyh
Guest
I see a lot of suicides in my job. I have to say it is probably the most selfish act anyone can complete. A permanant solution to a temporary problem. All of the religious and moral aspects aside…if it is so horrible it can’t get worse, or maybe it can but at some point it has to get better. The people who care about you live the rest of their lives trying to figure out what they did wrong, and how they failed you. Think about those people and the impact…I don’t always say things gracefully. I will pray for you.
H
Hellisreal
Guest
Hello again, just checking in to say hi.
It was a really nice day today here, and I kinda took it easy today.
I was hoping you had a relaxing day too.
It was a really nice day today here, and I kinda took it easy today.
I was hoping you had a relaxing day too.
A
AndyF
Guest
Jeannette:
See yourself has not belonging to you, then you can’t do anything to yourself unless you have permission from the owner of you.
Your body is the temple for God’s work and everything you do with it is an exercise in that service. You are the controlling caretaker of that temple while here. Destroying the temple is serving notice on God that his temple is no longer available for that work. You are to do nothing to truncate God’s plan for His temple. Suicide is a very grave sin.
The remedy is to remove focus on self, and fix it and your energy on God’s work. Satan causes us to focus on self rather than service. The joy and self worth you seek come as a benefit of His work. God challenges us to try it and see for ourselves.
Mother Theresa lived in what some would consider the most depressing and horrid conditions on earth, but because she focused on others in her work God showed her the joy and satisfaction in that work, and she was one of the happiest and loved persons that lived.
AndyF
Simple. The option isn’t yours.
See yourself has not belonging to you, then you can’t do anything to yourself unless you have permission from the owner of you.
Your body is the temple for God’s work and everything you do with it is an exercise in that service. You are the controlling caretaker of that temple while here. Destroying the temple is serving notice on God that his temple is no longer available for that work. You are to do nothing to truncate God’s plan for His temple. Suicide is a very grave sin.
The remedy is to remove focus on self, and fix it and your energy on God’s work. Satan causes us to focus on self rather than service. The joy and self worth you seek come as a benefit of His work. God challenges us to try it and see for ourselves.
Mother Theresa lived in what some would consider the most depressing and horrid conditions on earth, but because she focused on others in her work God showed her the joy and satisfaction in that work, and she was one of the happiest and loved persons that lived.
AndyF
G
GandalfTheWhite
Guest
Do not be afraid!
God is with you in all life situations - however difficult and scary they may appear to you. Understand, God lives outside of time and he knows all. He is always in control even when you think that everything is chaos. We humans can’t see all ends but God can. Take God’s hand, hold it tighly and you will not get lost even when all lights go out.
It is the materialist society of today that presses us to believe that our value depends on our carrier and success in terms of money and fame. This is however not true and it’s certainly not how God views us. I think that what is the most important is how we serve our Lord. Thinks about all those great saint. They lived a simple life yet somehow their life was full.
Last think I want to say is that I care! I don’t know you but I do care. Imagine how those who are close to you must care! Stay strong!
God bless, I whish you all the best.
~G
God is with you in all life situations - however difficult and scary they may appear to you. Understand, God lives outside of time and he knows all. He is always in control even when you think that everything is chaos. We humans can’t see all ends but God can. Take God’s hand, hold it tighly and you will not get lost even when all lights go out.
It is the materialist society of today that presses us to believe that our value depends on our carrier and success in terms of money and fame. This is however not true and it’s certainly not how God views us. I think that what is the most important is how we serve our Lord. Thinks about all those great saint. They lived a simple life yet somehow their life was full.
Last think I want to say is that I care! I don’t know you but I do care. Imagine how those who are close to you must care! Stay strong!
God bless, I whish you all the best.
~G
J
JeannetteCML
Guest
I think I’m at the point where I would not commit scuide because simply because it wouid put me in a place of more suffering. I had a little taste or this “suffering” happening when something went wrong with my meds. And I realized my lack of tolerance for suffering. So I’m here.
But there really isn’t anything I can be passionate about and invest myself in. No great loves. I have so many limitations.
But there really isn’t anything I can be passionate about and invest myself in. No great loves. I have so many limitations.
W
Willma
Guest
Considering what happens when one commits suicide it should NEVER be a issue for anyone. To be honest death is easy; the hard part is living. We all struggle and have problems. You should find people like yourself to talk this out with. Internet is good but face to face is better.
T
TOP
Guest
Hi JeannetteCML, I’ve been where you are at and sometimes still feel this way. Get some help. Some spiritual help as well as help dealing with your problems. Start off with a daily devotion to prayer if you haven’t already. Keep the Sabbath holy, frequent confession, esp. when you have these thoughts. Bring it up to Father. The Eucharist is so mind clearing. Then stick with a Dr. and counseler. Use all of God’s tools to overcome this temptation, spiritually and secular. You have my prayers, Take care, Tim
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Tonks40
Guest
Hi Jeannette -
I just found this thread, and after reading your posts, I just wanted to let you know that I, too, have been where you are. Diagnosed bipolar 6 years ago, suicidal, hospitalized, on meds under the care of a doctor and counselor. What triggered my symptoms (which I suspected I had for my entire life) was stress and anxiety.
Over the past couple of years, what I found to be the greatest stabilizer of my life was my faith. For many years, I had trouble placing my life in God’s hands. Why would God want to take care of my life? What am I worth to Him? I’m sure you and others are familiar with some of these thoughts.
The saying “Let go and let God” can be so trivializing at times, but if you contemplate on those words, the truth can emerge to the point that you can apply this to your life. It takes a lot of faith and trust to realize that God knows exactly what you need in your life, and if you keep your eyes centered on Christ and allow him to live in you, you may find that those suicidal thoughts become more and more incidental, and finally, non-existent.
I’ll be praying that you continue on this positive road that you are currently experiencing. The Lord has placed the people in your life for a reason. The burdens may seem too overwhelming at times, but remember that like all things, “this too shall pass.” Trust that God loves you and would like nothing more than to see you united with him in His Heavenly Kingdom. The life that God has given you truly is worth living!
God Bless!
I just found this thread, and after reading your posts, I just wanted to let you know that I, too, have been where you are. Diagnosed bipolar 6 years ago, suicidal, hospitalized, on meds under the care of a doctor and counselor. What triggered my symptoms (which I suspected I had for my entire life) was stress and anxiety.
Over the past couple of years, what I found to be the greatest stabilizer of my life was my faith. For many years, I had trouble placing my life in God’s hands. Why would God want to take care of my life? What am I worth to Him? I’m sure you and others are familiar with some of these thoughts.
The saying “Let go and let God” can be so trivializing at times, but if you contemplate on those words, the truth can emerge to the point that you can apply this to your life. It takes a lot of faith and trust to realize that God knows exactly what you need in your life, and if you keep your eyes centered on Christ and allow him to live in you, you may find that those suicidal thoughts become more and more incidental, and finally, non-existent.
I’ll be praying that you continue on this positive road that you are currently experiencing. The Lord has placed the people in your life for a reason. The burdens may seem too overwhelming at times, but remember that like all things, “this too shall pass.” Trust that God loves you and would like nothing more than to see you united with him in His Heavenly Kingdom. The life that God has given you truly is worth living!
God Bless!
R
Ravyn_Guiliani
Guest
Dear Jeannette,
I have a genetic disease and ever since I was a kid sicide was Plan B. I thot of myself as a head in a box. My body was not much use. When I used to dream of what I wanted to do with life I kept coming back to the idea of prayer and contemplation–the peace of just living in a cave somewhere and loving God was so appealing…
then one day I realized I COULD do that. I did not need health and mobility to do that! I recently made my Consecration to Jesus thru the Hands of Mary and follow a Montfortian Spirituality–google it. The pc has given me the world I would not have had otherwise. I met my husband of 10 years on the internet.
So maybe I can’t go to the beach or become a surgeon, but I CAN do everything God allows me to do and bear my Cross with joy in suffering! I no longer even want Plan B. I have faith that when the time comes I can handle it.
If you are clinically depressed and cannot feel any passion–then by all means see a doctor. But if you think it is just the motivation that is lacking–I highly recommend finding a Spirituality you can accomplish and get passionate about. There are hundreds of lay orders and confraternities. I am also a Eucahristic Apostle of the Divine Mercy and every two weeks someone from my parish picks me up for our Cenacle after Monday Mass. For the first time in my whole life I have REAL friends among the 5 or 6 women who meet for the Cenacle.
Life is worth living despite the pain. Maybe even because of the pain.
here is a prayer I wrote last year:
Consecration of Pain and Suffering
All my pain and suffering this day,
I give to Thee.
Count my pains as Yours.
Since You have already suffered for me,
allow me to share in Your suffering by adding my own.
Let not my pain be wasted.
Let not my tears be useless.
As Your Holy Blood courses thru my frail human veins,
Let me feel Your Agony and not just my own.
Accept my pain and suffering as a Gift
and do not let me live with it in vain.
If You so choose to relieve me and alleviate my pain and suffering,
then give me the Grace to understand that You have
accepted my Gift and Granted me Thy Peace in return.
Help me to let go of my attachment to my suffering and
to disown my pain as mine.
If you so choose to heal me, please
Dear God, make me grateful.
If you do not choose to heal me, please
Dear God, make me worthy.
Ravyn
K
Kathrin
Guest
Hello Jeannette,
here are just some spontaneous thoughts that I had while reading your posts and some of the replies.
First of all, there is a website called Suicide: Read This First, and I remember it because somebody suggested it for somebody else to read one time. There was a time when I tried to help people on depression discussion boards a lot. (I still do, actually.)
Also, I had this thought: You say you are afraid of your financial burden. The word burden (since this is a Cristian forum!!) made me think of the cross. And how we all have our crosses to bear. But God never gives us more than we will be able to handle in the end.
And sometimes maybe we just need to tell ourselves we have to accept our crosses. And with that acceptance, suicide really just isn’t an option anymore.
Also this: You say you suffer from schizoaffective disorder. I do know a bit about mental illness (BA in psych, with much interest in the clinical stuff, done a lot of my own research too etc, plus I have some problems myself…) - now when you are in a depression (probably that’s when the thoughts come?) then… well, in a way it can really be seen as a chemical imbalance. And then your brain is playing tricks on you! That is, it makes you feel hopeless, when really, OF COURSE there is hope!! There always is. But when you are depressed, it’s like you can’t see it.
So sometimes it may help just to tell yourself: “That’s my depression talking. My brain is playing tricks on me again.”
And now I just had another thought I want to share: We never really know what will happen. We can try to see into the future and maybe we see something bleak, but we cannot know! Only God knows. And we can trust Him.
I have been at points in my life where I was so afraid I would never feel really happy and free again, suffering from extreme anxiety and all kinds of stuff. If I had known how I would go out into the world again… ha, I may have had a hard time believing it.
Miracles do happen.
No situation is unsolvable.
Bearing a cross (having debts, or having an illness, or whatever) does not make life itself unbearable.
There are times when we just need to hold on.
And pray. Prayer helps. It really does. God can give you so much strength.
Sending a prayer too now…
Kathrin
here are just some spontaneous thoughts that I had while reading your posts and some of the replies.
First of all, there is a website called Suicide: Read This First, and I remember it because somebody suggested it for somebody else to read one time. There was a time when I tried to help people on depression discussion boards a lot. (I still do, actually.)
Also, I had this thought: You say you are afraid of your financial burden. The word burden (since this is a Cristian forum!!) made me think of the cross. And how we all have our crosses to bear. But God never gives us more than we will be able to handle in the end.
And sometimes maybe we just need to tell ourselves we have to accept our crosses. And with that acceptance, suicide really just isn’t an option anymore.
Also this: You say you suffer from schizoaffective disorder. I do know a bit about mental illness (BA in psych, with much interest in the clinical stuff, done a lot of my own research too etc, plus I have some problems myself…) - now when you are in a depression (probably that’s when the thoughts come?) then… well, in a way it can really be seen as a chemical imbalance. And then your brain is playing tricks on you! That is, it makes you feel hopeless, when really, OF COURSE there is hope!! There always is. But when you are depressed, it’s like you can’t see it.
So sometimes it may help just to tell yourself: “That’s my depression talking. My brain is playing tricks on me again.”
And now I just had another thought I want to share: We never really know what will happen. We can try to see into the future and maybe we see something bleak, but we cannot know! Only God knows. And we can trust Him.
I have been at points in my life where I was so afraid I would never feel really happy and free again, suffering from extreme anxiety and all kinds of stuff. If I had known how I would go out into the world again… ha, I may have had a hard time believing it.
Miracles do happen.
No situation is unsolvable.
Bearing a cross (having debts, or having an illness, or whatever) does not make life itself unbearable.
There are times when we just need to hold on.
And pray. Prayer helps. It really does. God can give you so much strength.
Sending a prayer too now…
Kathrin
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