E
Efrasios
Guest
Hi, I hope you don’t mind my long question but I am seeking some advice!
I am a 19 year old devout Roman Catholic man from London. Since the age of reason I have always wanted to become a Priest & serve Holy Mother Church and despite temptations, failings, worries & troubles I have finally been granted the chance to try my vocation. After a long time researching & reading about religious orders, visiting the local seminary etc. I decided that I would just follow my heart, I contacted the Vocations director who knew me for a long time and he suggested that although he could see my great desire to serve God that it would be best as I was still young and choosing which path to follow God- in an order or through the secular Priesthood that I should work for an elderly Priest and help and look after him & be a Pastoral Assistant paid by the Diocese- and that in time the Lord would guide me, at the time (this was over a year ago). The VD wanted to send me to live with a Priest the other side of the city but my 82 year old Parish Priest was not happy with this suggestion and asked if I could instead do the same thing but from him. This made me very happy as I have always been extremely close to my parish Priest- he Baptised me, gave me my First Holy Communion etc.& has always been there for me and my family- through his example my mother and other family members came into the Catholic Church. However…trying to tell this in as few words as possible. In my search for a religious order, I was put in touch with the Trinitarian Fathers by one of the Holy Nuns at my parish who I have always also been close to and upon the death of this Holy nun everything pointed toward this order- the Trinitarians. I couldn’t believe how everything in my life started pointing towards the Trinitarian Fathers- founded by St. John de Matha in 1198- at the Sister’s funeral the Father General of the whole order spoke to me and we had a long chat and I confided in him- anyway he offered me a trial period with the order in Spain (they have no male houses in England) I really loved it & feel so called to this order and to their mission of ransoming captivities and those enslaved to sin, their works of mercy etc.
I have been offered the chance to enter the order as a Postulant in September- I really want to try my Vocation, however, the problem is the elderly Priest I look after is now getting to the stage where he is finding things more difficult- I adore him but he is a very difficult man and he far past retiring age. He does not delegate anything or any parish duties at all- he trusts me, tells me things- allows me to do things for him that he won’t let anyone else do and he relies on me totally (I am not looking for credit- but the fact is he needs my help). He refuses to retire but as he is getting older and more frail he becomes harder to work with- he is one of the oldest Priests in our Diocese still running a parish alone. I want to go away and try my vocation but I feel guilt in leaving my parish and leaving him without the help he needs- he can’t even use a computer to deal with the many emails we get as a Parish & all the things that needs done. There is a sister helping him but we work together as a great team and I adore my job (yet the pay is awful- but I do it for love of the Lord & the Church) should I feel guilty for wanting to follow my Vocation? Father understands I may be leaving but I don’t know what to do- he is so stubborn and very hard to work for at times, I can’t imagine anyone being able to do it in the same way- please don’t think I am vain or anything but he is like family to me.
I really want to follow my Vocation but am I doing the right thing? I wanted to ask somebody without having to speak to another Priest who would know him and this way I don’t have to feel awkward. I hope I have made myself clear & that somebody will have time to read & answer me. Please pray for me- the Trinitarian Fathers haven’t had a male vocation from England since the reformation although the Sisters have been working here since 1886.
God bless,
Efrasios
I am a 19 year old devout Roman Catholic man from London. Since the age of reason I have always wanted to become a Priest & serve Holy Mother Church and despite temptations, failings, worries & troubles I have finally been granted the chance to try my vocation. After a long time researching & reading about religious orders, visiting the local seminary etc. I decided that I would just follow my heart, I contacted the Vocations director who knew me for a long time and he suggested that although he could see my great desire to serve God that it would be best as I was still young and choosing which path to follow God- in an order or through the secular Priesthood that I should work for an elderly Priest and help and look after him & be a Pastoral Assistant paid by the Diocese- and that in time the Lord would guide me, at the time (this was over a year ago). The VD wanted to send me to live with a Priest the other side of the city but my 82 year old Parish Priest was not happy with this suggestion and asked if I could instead do the same thing but from him. This made me very happy as I have always been extremely close to my parish Priest- he Baptised me, gave me my First Holy Communion etc.& has always been there for me and my family- through his example my mother and other family members came into the Catholic Church. However…trying to tell this in as few words as possible. In my search for a religious order, I was put in touch with the Trinitarian Fathers by one of the Holy Nuns at my parish who I have always also been close to and upon the death of this Holy nun everything pointed toward this order- the Trinitarians. I couldn’t believe how everything in my life started pointing towards the Trinitarian Fathers- founded by St. John de Matha in 1198- at the Sister’s funeral the Father General of the whole order spoke to me and we had a long chat and I confided in him- anyway he offered me a trial period with the order in Spain (they have no male houses in England) I really loved it & feel so called to this order and to their mission of ransoming captivities and those enslaved to sin, their works of mercy etc.
I have been offered the chance to enter the order as a Postulant in September- I really want to try my Vocation, however, the problem is the elderly Priest I look after is now getting to the stage where he is finding things more difficult- I adore him but he is a very difficult man and he far past retiring age. He does not delegate anything or any parish duties at all- he trusts me, tells me things- allows me to do things for him that he won’t let anyone else do and he relies on me totally (I am not looking for credit- but the fact is he needs my help). He refuses to retire but as he is getting older and more frail he becomes harder to work with- he is one of the oldest Priests in our Diocese still running a parish alone. I want to go away and try my vocation but I feel guilt in leaving my parish and leaving him without the help he needs- he can’t even use a computer to deal with the many emails we get as a Parish & all the things that needs done. There is a sister helping him but we work together as a great team and I adore my job (yet the pay is awful- but I do it for love of the Lord & the Church) should I feel guilty for wanting to follow my Vocation? Father understands I may be leaving but I don’t know what to do- he is so stubborn and very hard to work for at times, I can’t imagine anyone being able to do it in the same way- please don’t think I am vain or anything but he is like family to me.
I really want to follow my Vocation but am I doing the right thing? I wanted to ask somebody without having to speak to another Priest who would know him and this way I don’t have to feel awkward. I hope I have made myself clear & that somebody will have time to read & answer me. Please pray for me- the Trinitarian Fathers haven’t had a male vocation from England since the reformation although the Sisters have been working here since 1886.
God bless,
Efrasios