Can you help me with my vocation dilemma?

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Efrasios

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Hi, I hope you don’t mind my long question but I am seeking some advice!

I am a 19 year old devout Roman Catholic man from London. Since the age of reason I have always wanted to become a Priest & serve Holy Mother Church and despite temptations, failings, worries & troubles I have finally been granted the chance to try my vocation. After a long time researching & reading about religious orders, visiting the local seminary etc. I decided that I would just follow my heart, I contacted the Vocations director who knew me for a long time and he suggested that although he could see my great desire to serve God that it would be best as I was still young and choosing which path to follow God- in an order or through the secular Priesthood that I should work for an elderly Priest and help and look after him & be a Pastoral Assistant paid by the Diocese- and that in time the Lord would guide me, at the time (this was over a year ago). The VD wanted to send me to live with a Priest the other side of the city but my 82 year old Parish Priest was not happy with this suggestion and asked if I could instead do the same thing but from him. This made me very happy as I have always been extremely close to my parish Priest- he Baptised me, gave me my First Holy Communion etc.& has always been there for me and my family- through his example my mother and other family members came into the Catholic Church. However…trying to tell this in as few words as possible. In my search for a religious order, I was put in touch with the Trinitarian Fathers by one of the Holy Nuns at my parish who I have always also been close to and upon the death of this Holy nun everything pointed toward this order- the Trinitarians. I couldn’t believe how everything in my life started pointing towards the Trinitarian Fathers- founded by St. John de Matha in 1198- at the Sister’s funeral the Father General of the whole order spoke to me and we had a long chat and I confided in him- anyway he offered me a trial period with the order in Spain (they have no male houses in England) I really loved it & feel so called to this order and to their mission of ransoming captivities and those enslaved to sin, their works of mercy etc.

I have been offered the chance to enter the order as a Postulant in September- I really want to try my Vocation, however, the problem is the elderly Priest I look after is now getting to the stage where he is finding things more difficult- I adore him but he is a very difficult man and he far past retiring age. He does not delegate anything or any parish duties at all- he trusts me, tells me things- allows me to do things for him that he won’t let anyone else do and he relies on me totally (I am not looking for credit- but the fact is he needs my help). He refuses to retire but as he is getting older and more frail he becomes harder to work with- he is one of the oldest Priests in our Diocese still running a parish alone. I want to go away and try my vocation but I feel guilt in leaving my parish and leaving him without the help he needs- he can’t even use a computer to deal with the many emails we get as a Parish & all the things that needs done. There is a sister helping him but we work together as a great team and I adore my job (yet the pay is awful- but I do it for love of the Lord & the Church) should I feel guilty for wanting to follow my Vocation? Father understands I may be leaving but I don’t know what to do- he is so stubborn and very hard to work for at times, I can’t imagine anyone being able to do it in the same way- please don’t think I am vain or anything but he is like family to me.

I really want to follow my Vocation but am I doing the right thing? I wanted to ask somebody without having to speak to another Priest who would know him and this way I don’t have to feel awkward. I hope I have made myself clear & that somebody will have time to read & answer me. Please pray for me- the Trinitarian Fathers haven’t had a male vocation from England since the reformation although the Sisters have been working here since 1886.

God bless,

Efrasios
 
Dear friend,

Your desire to try you vocation could be coming from God. The good father is his bishop’s responsibility; not yours! Guilt is the reality of having done wrong. It is not a feeling. People can do wrong and not feel guilty and people can feel guilty and be innocent. You are one of the latter.

I suggest that you talk to your bishop and tell him your situation. As I said, the responsibility for your priest-friend is his. I assure you; he will not tell you to forgo religious life and the priesthood to care for one of his aging priests.

Besides, you can do your friend more good by listening to the Lord and obeying Him, than any care taking you might do. It might well be time for him to retire and your having to leave for the Trinitarians could well be the Lord’s way of bringing it about.

You are in our prayers.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.
 
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