Can you pray to be normal?

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Nelka said:
That wouldn’t be fair.
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was it “fair” for Jesus to be crucified? What if your idea of “fair” is not consistent with the will of God? What if what is “normal” in this world is self centered and godless?
Nelka said:
Extremely unlikely.

I couldn’t even begin to imagine.
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On the contrary, I think it is highly likely. He knew when He created you that you would be sensitive to such things. He has allowed you to be exposed to them to show you how much you need Him to survive. He has a calling and a plan for your life that is perfectly suited to the personality that you have. Je wants His strength to be more perfectly seen in your weakness.
 
Nelka said:
I would rather die than keep gonng like this.
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This is great news! This is the point at which most growth happens. As St. Paul writes, we die daily, that Christ may be formed in us. Our sanctification is an ongoing process of dying to ourselves, and having Christ be born into our hearts. We cannot be light and salt to the world without putting the flesh to death, so your willingness to die so that you can live as Christ has called you to live is a great place to be. It is the beginning of a whole new life!
 
I don’t understand much of St. Paul if any.

Dying also means probability of hell so life becomes more of a living hell than what it currently is.
 
Nelka said:
I would rather die than keep gonng like this.
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Nelka, you’re a very knowledgeable and and holy person, I can tell from your posts. What part of being ‘‘normal’’ do you want exactly? I would suggest talking to your priest.
 
Regarding being a salt and light, why is it that when people ask for prayers for physical healing, others would pray for them without any questions, and yet when one is in a toxic situation, one would say to just bear it as a cross?

Aren’t both physical ailments and toxic people or situations crosses? Why is it that it is okay to pray away for one, but not the other??

I hope someone can answer this question.

I ask because if you read the threads here or even on non-Catholic websites, the opinion is that you can’t change other people, they have to want to improve themselves.

I don’t necessarily see staying in a toxic environment as a good thing for one’s mental and spiritual health, even if it means being the salt and the light. It’s one thing to remain because you can’t leave even if you want to, it’s another thing to stay just because, even if you have the liberty to leave.
 
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A social leper.

Sometimes I am quiet and I get accused of being grumpy, when I speak I get accused of having an attitude. Probably correct but not always.
 
Nelka said:
Sometimes I am quiet and I get accused of being grumpy
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I’m not sure how being quiet is grumpy. Explain to the person you are conversating with that you are simply quiet and do not mean to be rude.
Nelka said:
when I speak I get accused of having an attitude.
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Is it because of your voice tone? I don’t know what to tell you. Just be patient with your accusers and try to calmly explain to them you mean no hurt.
 
It’s not"fake" to improve your social skills. Besides it sounds like you hate your current situation as well. People are not mind readers, and need to rely on social cues to understand you. With some practice you can definitely change your tone of voice and demeanor to more accurately reflect your state of mind.
 
Nelka said:
I hate trusting people because they alwsys let me down and/or stab me in the back. I wish I could just learn to not trust people.
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You might want to put this in the more positive form of “I wish I could learn to have realistic expectations.” Forming this can be a source of grief, but eventually, if you learn to do it with mercy, it can be a source of peace.
Nelka said:
No peace: I hate it.
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That is one thing you do have under your control. If you want to be upset all the time, you can do that. Maybe it harms others to be upset with them, but it truth the main person harmed is you. Most people you are upset with are unaware or have learned not to put their inner peace at the mercy of everyone who decides to hold a grudge. They do what they can to stay on good terms with others and then, assuming they live in hope of eternal life, they leave the rest to the mercy of God. (Those who don’t live in hope of eternal life can still learn very easily to forget you are upset with them as soon as you are out of sight, by the way. You mostly harm yourself by carrying a grudge, no matter how many reasons you can list that you “deserve” to cling to one.)
Nelka said:
Also I’m sick of things getting to me all the time; I just want to be normal and be treated fairly and be able to put things to one side without dwelling on everything constantly.

I don’t feel life ever moves forward: why do I have to be this way?
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Putting things to one side is a skill you have to learn. Not letting things get to you is a skill you have to learn. Other people do not float through life with nothing bothering them. They’re bothered without you knowing it. Others spend a lot of time in anguish over what other people will think of them, hag-ridden by the opinions of others or by the thought that someone may be getting more than they get.

That is no way to resign oneself to live. People with inner peace are those who have a formed a realistic view of the maturity and consideration of others and their own chances of reaching perfection. They have a few people on whom they can depend for the most part, but ultimately they depend on God and practice mercy as the route prescribed by God for receiving mercy. They realize that as a whole, humanity tends to make mistakes, some of the most hurtful of which are not even intended.

Even when you’re very popular, you should not put your trust in human nature. It is too weak and constantly in need of mercy. You cannot be at peace with humanity (including yourself) without accepting this.
While he was in Jerusalem for the feast of Passover, many began to believe in his name when they saw the signs he was doing. But Jesus would not trust himself to them because he knew them all, and did not need anyone to testify about human nature. He himself understood it well. John 2:23-25
 
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Nelka said:
Probably but I can’t change it and I hate being fake.
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Changing your voice to avoid being unnecessarily unattractive to others is not “fake.” No one deserves to be subjected to our every inner turmoil and feeling of irritation. That is not honesty. That is self-absorption. It is only charming in children because they lack the awareness of the feelings of others to be less “honest.”

It is not dishonesty to want to do better than that. It is maturity. You may indeed have something unattractive about your demeanor that you can’t change. If you have not tried because you do not want to have to change to suit anyone but yourself then it is not quite honest to say you know you cannot change it if in truth you actually have decided without ever trying that you do not want to change.

If you cultivate an aspect of negativity, people won’t enjoy being around you. There is no mystery in that. If you pray to be normal, go in with the realization that you may be the one asked to change. We can ask for anything we like. We ought to be prepared to get what we need as an answer, though, rather than what we ask for.
Nelka said:
A social leper.

Sometimes I am quiet and I get accused of being grumpy, when I speak I get accused of having an attitude. Probably correct but not always.
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Again, if someone came to me personally with the issues you’re listing, I’d tell them to seriously consider finding some help with your self-assessment and to look for which things you can change and which you can’t. You may be in for some happy surprises. What you could really use is someone to be positive and accepting with you regardless of what your outer demeanor is, but those are hard to find.

If someone needed that from you, for instance, would you be providing it for them? It is a rare gift. If, by the way, you’d find a person like that to be irritating, you have some of your answer there, too.
 
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Nelka, you mentioned that you were frustrated with trusting people and I completely understand! I have been speaking crazily here and there just to see how people use what I say. Perhaps that is unwise, but as I slowly “give up on having faith in people” based on negative results, the more I say to myself “I know I am going to heaven.”

People are cruel. You can move ten thousand miles away and be a conversationalist to only find that the Bible is correct in stating that there isn’t a single decent human being without sin, not one.
 
As Scripture says "how can the clay say to the potter ‘Why have you made me this way?’ "

When we hate God’s creation, we cannot fully love the Creator.

Please, seek out some counseling.
 
1 Peter 2 tells us we are strangers and aliens. Scripture tells us we are not of this world.

This is why it is critical that we surround ourselves with our fellow aliens, our brothers and sisters at the nearest Parish.
 
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