Can't get married outside?

[1ke]

I don’t care whether you feel guilt or not. I don’t know you or your sister, but if neither of you want to abide by the authority of the Church, I certainly won’t loose any sleep over it.

The OP did not say that she or her sister didn’t want to abide by the Church’s teaching or laws. She asked why, and that isn’t unreasonable. She asked if the priests’ answers were accurate.

I think people are WAY overreacting to the OP’s questions. The Church doesn’t actually *forbid *wedding or other sacraments from being outside or in a tent or in a stadium or a ballroom or anywhere else. The Church requires permission from the bishop.

There are, after all, supposed Catholics that don’t agree with the Church’s position on abortion as well. You’ve been given the answer… don’t like it? Tough!

Wow, that’s really charitable and well-reasoned. I have a visual of you stomping your foot and giving your pout face. I think you are overreacting. I don’t know why everyone is so testy.

The answer is simple: it’s up to the bishop.

 

[PatriceA]

I don’t care whether you feel anything about my guilt either. Not my point. It’s other people’s apparent attempt to use guilt to convince of a point and the “DUH” attitude as if why wouldn’t you want to get married in Jesus’s house instead of a place not suitable like the awesome beautiful natural world that He created for us and is not longer any part of? I’m really happy that every single thing the church does is so extremely obvious to so many of you and that you don’t care what other people think. I know the church has the right to make whatever rules it wants to and I respect that. As for the reasons why it makes some of its rules, I don’t always fully agree with them.

Like I said earlier, the best way for me to understand it is shut up and realize it’s again because The Church says so. It doesn’t even affect me anyway since I’m not the one getting married here.

And Tietjen’s answer about “supposed Catholics” is why I hate discussing things here most of the time. Sorry I’m not as good as you. Shall I (virtually) bow to in reverence to you now?

I wish you would interpret the responses more with an open heart and mind. Many of the posters, including me, are trying to explain that there is more than “because the Church says so” behind why the Church has these kind of rules. Its not about guilt, at least for me, it was very, very important that I got married at the altar and in front of the tabernacle because I didn’t want to ask Jesus to come to me, I wanted to go to Jesus.

 

[HolyCow21]

@Patricia,

Is Jesus only present in the tabernacle? How great is the effort that he has to make to come to us when we are not in front of the tabernacle? Is it even appropriate to pray when not in front of the tabernacle?

(For those who have not seen me say before, although I have been a Catholic since birth, I have a terribly small amount of knowledge and understanding of our faith. So, sorry if my questions are way off base.)

 

[Church_Militant]

This question has been answered several times up in the Ask An Apologist forum.

Here are links to some of those answers that should be of some help.

• Can a Catholic wedding be performed outside of the church building?
• ** Why can’t Catholic marriages occur outside a church?**
• ** What about an outdoor wedding?**
• ** Can a Catholic wedding take place in a garden?**

 

[ComputerGeek25]

@Patricia,

Is Jesus only present in the tabernacle? How great is the effort that he has to make to come to us when we are not in front of the tabernacle? Is it even appropriate to pray when not in front of the tabernacle?

(For those who have not seen me say before, although I have been a Catholic since birth, I have a terribly small amount of knowledge and understanding of our faith. So, sorry if my questions are way off base.)

I think you’re questions and concerns are vary valid. Many seemingly holy Catholics struggle with this question every day. I even struggle with understanding this!

As Catholics, we believe in Transubstantiation - that the bread and wine is transformed into the body and blood of Jesus himself.

It’s not that Jesus isn’t everywhere, but you know he is physically present in the tabernacle.

 

[Tietjen]

Wow, that’s really charitable and well-reasoned. I have a visual of you stomping your foot and giving your pout face. I think you are overreacting. I don’t know why everyone is so testy.

No foot stomping here nor even a pout face . Just tired of Catholics who have been given an answer by the clergy and then come here to question it. In this case, the OP became obstinate because she didn’t get the support that she sought.

HolyCow21:

So many responses here seem to be trying to use guilt by saying in what seems like a “DUH!” tone, “why would somebody not want to get married in the church?!” I know, I know, you have nothing to do with guilt, it’s my own conscience, etc etc. Spare me.

Like another poster pointed out, I also do not believe God is not bound by the walls of a building.

So besides the answers that try to bring about guilt for not wanting to do it the way The Church instructs, or the reasons of nature or man made hazards, this rule seems quite arbitrary.

As for your insinuation that my response is somehow less than charitable, I don’t mix words nor will I sugar-coat responses to Catholics who have been given the correct answers by the clergy and continue to dissent. Charitable responses don’t always have to start with, “Ahh, you poor dear…”

 

[PatriceA]

I think you’re questions and concerns are vary valid. Many seemingly holy Catholics struggle with this question every day. I even struggle with understanding this!

As Catholics, we believe in Transubstantiation - that the bread and wine is transformed into the body and blood of Jesus himself.

It’s not that Jesus isn’t everywhere, but you know he is physically present in the tabernacle.

Yep, I struggled with this as well and I too am a cradle Catholic. But once I got it, WOW. My faith deepened in ways I never thought it would. Yes, Jesus is everywhere. But there is something so profound about being near Jesus in the tabernacle.

HolyCow21, I encourage you to go to adoration and pray in front of the Eucharist. Its life changing.

 

[ComputerGeek25]

Yep, I struggled with this as well and I too am a cradle Catholic. But once I got it, WOW. My faith deepened in ways I never thought it would. Yes, Jesus is everywhere. But there is something so profound about being near Jesus in the tabernacle.

HolyCow21, I encourage you to go to adoration and pray in front of the Eucharist. Its life changing.

I also suggest talking to your priest to completely understand why the Church prefers that sacraments be conducted inside. They can probably explain the theology and reasoning much better than we can!

I understand that it can seem like the church has a lot of “rules.” However, if we dig a little deeper, there is a good reason as to why the rule exsists.

 

[HolyCow21]

No foot stomping here nor even a pout face . Just tired of Catholics who have been given an answer by the clergy and then come here to question it. In this case, the OP became obstinate because she didn’t get the support that she sought.

As for your insinuation that my response is somehow less than charitable, I don’t mix words nor will I sugar-coat responses to Catholics who have been given the correct answers by the clergy and continue to dissent. Charitable responses don’t always have to start with, “Ahh, you poor dear…”

I was not given an answer by the clergy. My mom was and I wasn’t sure she explained it as clearly as was possible. The answer I’m getting, besides “why wouldn’t you want to do it in the church?” is it is possible at the bishop’s whim. If it can change on a whim like that, it seems that maybe it’s not that important of a rule after all. So, I apologize again for not being as good as you Tietjen, but some things are not as clear to my understanding as they have obviously been instilled into you since your birth. btw, I’m not a she. I certainly don’t expect for you to start by saying “you poor dear.” Your replies about how it’s just tough don’t do anything to help anybody in their faith. All I got from your post is that I am much less of a Catholic than you are. So again, I bow to your holiness and wish you well. Thanks for nothing.

 

[ComputerGeek25]

I was not given an answer by the clergy. My mom was and I wasn’t sure she explained it as clearly as was possible. The answer I’m getting, besides “why wouldn’t you want to do it in the church?” is it is possible at the bishop’s whim. If it can change on a whim like that, it seems that maybe it’s not that important of a rule after all. So, I apologize again for not being as good as you Tietjen, but some things are not as clear to my understanding as they have obviously been instilled into you since your birth. btw, I’m not a she. I certainly don’t expect for you to start by saying “you poor dear.” Your replies about how it’s just tough don’t do anything to help anybody in their faith. All I got from your post is that I am much less of a Catholic than you are. So again, I bow to your holiness and wish you well. Thanks for nothing.

As per other posters, there usually has to be a compelling reason for a bishop to allow a venue change.

 

[estesbob]

As a side note there is quite a market for ex-Catholic priest to perform “destination weddings”.

 

[Michael_Francis]

***Please discuss the topic and ***not each other.

Also, note that the links provided by Church Militant above contain very good information on this issue.
God’s peace,

 

[Tantum_ergo]

So many responses here seem to be trying to use guilt by saying in what seems like a “DUH!” tone, “why would somebody not want to get married in the church?!” I know, I know, you have nothing to do with guilt, it’s my own conscience, etc etc. Spare me.

Like another poster pointed out, I also do not believe God is not bound by the walls of a building.

So besides the answers that try to bring about guilt for not wanting to do it the way The Church instructs, or the reasons of nature or man made hazards, this rule seems quite arbitrary.

I’m not saying this to be mean, but it appears that you simply don’t get it. It is not about ‘guilt’. It’s not about ‘boundaries’.

Your problem is that you are reasoning from an invalid premise. Your premise isn’t that "The Church teaches marriages are to be held in a church building except for extreme and exceptional circumstances, because the church is a sacred space and marriage is a sacrament. . .Your premise is, “I don’t want the Church telling me that I can’t have a marriage WHERE I WANT IT, so I’ll argue that the Church is wrong, guilt mongering, 'limiting, ‘arbitrary’ etc.”

IOW, you’re trying to bypass the actual facts and turn it into an argument about getting what you want.

And that just won’t work.

why would a practicing Catholic would want to reject a teaching of the Church that is so important it’s found in canon law? Why, in fact, would a practicing Catholic want to reject any Church teaching?

Since when did the Church become a menu where Catholics felt they had the GOD GIVEN RIGHT to ‘pick’ the teachings they’d accept, and reject the ones they didn’t like, call themselves Catholic, make rude comments about the ‘rigidity’ of Catholics who actually are FOLLOWING the rules, and think they were all their own popes with the power to discern God’s teachings BETTER than the Church?

 

[Tantum_ergo]

I don’t care whether you feel anything about my guilt either. Not my point. It’s other people’s apparent attempt to use guilt to convince of a point and the “DUH” attitude as if why wouldn’t you want to get married in Jesus’s house instead of a place not suitable like the awesome beautiful natural world that He created for us and is not longer any part of? I’m really happy that every single thing the church does is so extremely obvious to so many of you and that you don’t care what other people think. I know the church has the right to make whatever rules it wants to and I respect that. As for the reasons why it makes some of its rules, I don’t always fully agree with them.

Like I said earlier, the best way for me to understand it is shut up and realize it’s again because The Church says so. It doesn’t even affect me anyway since I’m not the one getting married here.

And Tietjen’s answer about “supposed Catholics” is why I hate discussing things here most of the time. Sorry I’m not as good as you. Shall I (virtually) bow to in reverence to you now?

I wish you’d cool down. People are not attacking you personally. If you feel insulted or ‘guilted’ by us, perhaps you’ll remember (if you take the time to think about it) that guess what, your responses are fomented to try to ‘reverse guilt’ onto us. In fact, your posts are more snippy because you’re snapping our heads off due to anger at your PERCEPTION that we’re trying to 'guilt YOU.

 

[HolyCow21]

Thanks for your replies in the last few posts PatriceA and ComputerGeek. I know I don’t understand things as well as I can/should/need to. It’s nice to know that it’s not innate (unfortunately) and that it’s something that I’m not alone in.

 

[HolyCow21]

I wish you’d cool down. People are not attacking you personally. If you feel insulted or ‘guilted’ by us, perhaps you’ll remember (if you take the time to think about it) that guess what, your responses are fomented to try to ‘reverse guilt’ onto us. In fact, your posts are more snippy because you’re snapping our heads off due to anger at your PERCEPTION that we’re trying to 'guilt YOU.

Me cool down? You are the one insinuating that you are more Catholic than others! Why don’t you check yourself. It is self righteous posters like you that talk about “supposed Catholics” I have a serious problem with. I’m sure you are holy. That’s lovely dear. You will get your reward. Now, if you aren’t going to be helpful, stay out of the conversation.

 

[Tantum_ergo]

@Patricia,

Is Jesus only present in the tabernacle? How great is the effort that he has to make to come to us when we are not in front of the tabernacle? Is it even appropriate to pray when not in front of the tabernacle?

(For those who have not seen me say before, although I have been a Catholic since birth, I have a terribly small amount of knowledge and understanding of our faith. So, sorry if my questions are way off base.)

Hon, it isn’t an ‘either-or’ situation. Of course God is present everywhere. But to us as Catholics, He is very specially present in the tabernacle at your Church. . .because there He is present, Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity, and WE get to RECEIVE Him into our own bodies! We can’t do that outside (normally). . .

And as others have told you, there are times when a person could marry outside. . .but those times are few and far between. . .especially today when unlike in centuries of old, there are MANY Catholic churches available! You don’t have to drive (usually) hundreds of miles via a covered wagon to get to one!

Your sister can get married at her local parish church and then go on to have a fabulous extravaganza outdoor reception. . .why not put it to her that she gets the best of both that way? All the ‘outdoor glory’ and all the sacred space that (let’s be real here) for most of history Christians would have thought the summit of cool. . . the Christians in the catacombs would have LOVED the opportunity to worship IN CHURCH instead of ‘outside!’

 

[lizaanne]

Since when did the Church become a menu where Catholics felt they had the GOD GIVEN RIGHT to ‘pick’ the teachings they’d accept, and reject the ones they didn’t like, call themselves Catholic, make rude comments about the ‘rigidity’ of Catholics who actually are FOLLOWING the rules, and think they were all their own popes with the power to discern God’s teachings BETTER than the Church?

:clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

~Liza

 

[Tantum_ergo]

Me cool down? You are the one insinuating that you are more Catholic than others! Why don’t you check yourself. It is self righteous posters like you that talk about “supposed Catholics” I have a serious problem with. I’m sure you are holy. That’s lovely dear. You will get your reward. Now, if you aren’t going to be helpful, stay out of the conversation.

Excuse me. You MAY notice I deleted the above post you respond too. . .not because I thought I was ‘wrong’ but because on further reading I thought it might be better to speak about this in a way that emphasized the positive. Hint: You’re within the time limit to delete your less-than-charitable response above too. Simply click’ edit’ at the bottom, then ‘delete this message’.

 

[HolyCow21]

At Tantum Ergo - Sorry for my last reply, I thought I was replying to Tietjen.