Can't take communion

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FROM ABOVE

Now it gets more complicated. Pope Francis has recently opened new possibilities for couples in difficult situations like this. It is called a customised “discernment process” with their Parish Priest.
It is, in the hands of an educated Priest, based on considerations of “passive cooperation in evil”, good intent in situations of unfreedom, reasonable cause for staying together, non flaunting of a an irregular situation, evident repentance even when abstention is contraindicated by weakness or concession to the desires of a differing partner. Pope Francis has even allowed the possibility of receiving Communion while still, regrettably, in a sexual relationship in some rare cases.

Priests may now assess matters privately with you and your husband and sort out with couples in an ongoing manner what he personally decides may or may not be done in situations where there is repentance but, for reasons outside of a faithful Catholic’s control, the usual perfect abstention requirement re receiving Communion may not be possible. Bear in mind the process depends not only on the temperament of the couple - but also of the priest…many of course are still caught up in the old ways despite new possibilities from Pope Francis. (Read his recent Encyclical Amoris Laetitia if you have the time).

But do not look for definitive answers here on CAF!
All you will get here is theological and pastoral bickering on these points by amateurs leaving you uncertain and more confused.

You must see your parish priest if you believe in certain conscience your civil marriage is where God wants you to be. Hopefully he (and his Diocese) will be in tune with Pope Francis. If he is then this will be an ongoing “confessional” discernment process rather than a quick 30min assessment with a final black and white answer.

If the priest you see is not into the discernment model of Pope Francis and you get a response you truly believe doesn’t do justice to your situation then the usual Church teaching on a certain conscience applies. However I suggest a certain conscience in tune with God would be erroneous if it led to any choices that involved public Communion causing significant scandal to a community.

Good luck and God bless.
 
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BlackFriar said:
The problem is if your husband is unable to agree to abstain. You may not force him to do so as it is in the nature of marriage (even if not one yet recognised by the Church) to give one’s partner rights to one’s body. It would also likely jeopardise your relationship.
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I disagree. Sex in this relationship is sinful and I would feel no guilt about unilaterally imposing abstinance.
 
Elf01 said:
I disagree. Sex in this relationship is sinful and I would feel no guilt about unilaterally imposing abstinance.
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Yes, as predicted above, all our poster will get on CAF is theological bickering from untrained amateur laity.

She needs to see her PP on this matter.
 
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BlackFriar said:
if your husband is unable to agree to abstain. You may not force him to do so
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Encouraging people (especially those who have great difficulty in doing the right thing) to commit objectively grave sins is itself a mortal sin.
 
I agree with your assessment, however, been a while since I read this and I mainly skimmed it but, I believe the spouse does have this option after it has been granted by the priest.

She cannot simply decide to continue in relations on her own judgement.
 
Not sure where you got that idea.
I simply observe that one should be consistent in their civil vows or civilly divorce.

While you may be a glass half-empty type I am a glass half full person when it comes to approaching human unfreedoms. There is no grave personal sin in unfree situations…though there may well be significant material disorders present as there usually are in conflicted human living.

That distinction is a major underpinning of Amoris Laetitia and the genius of Pope Francis. It is lost on some Catholics. I am guessing you must have difficulty, or at least “confusion”, both with AL and with Pope Francis?
 
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hoping4more said:
She cannot simply decide to continue in relations on her own judgement.
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Yes, though I think you really mean “she cannot simply decide to receive public Communion, and continue sexual relations, on her own judgement”?
 
Fornication and adultery are intrinsically gravely evil. They cannot be objectively justified by either the permission of a priest, a pretended civil marriage, or any other human authority.

A priest who gave “permission” for such immoral acts would do nothing but condemn his own soul to Hell.
 
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Elf01 said:
Applying for an annulment does not mean you will get one.
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No, but by living as brother and sister, she can at least receive communion in the meantime. She clearly has a passionate love for Jesus in the Eucharist. God is calling her to sacrifice her "Isaac’. Is the relationship more important than God?
 
You’re married to a Catholic.

Does he understand the absolute punishment that he may be raining on both his and your soul? I mean not to bring focus on the hereafter and the Judgment of the Almighty. I mean the tortures now.

But think of the Almighty and His Just Judgement as well. It is possible he realizes not the GRAVE GRAVE things he is doing. Being separated for long from Communion may have dulled his senses.
 
Why not just sit down and talk without threatening your husband in order to know his heart. Many people do not seek annulments due to misinformation (ie, voiding the marriage so children are illegitimate). I will say I hesitated for awhile. I had been in an abusive marriage and I dreaded my ex husband being contacted. I found it to be a very compassionate process and no contact information of mine was revealed to him. You are seeing it in a one-sided fashion. You are only looking at making yourself “right,” when you do need to see his side and get to know why he feels the way he does. He may feel it will have him rehash the divorce proceedings over again in a raw manner. Who knows. no one knows if you don’t talk to him and listen genuinely. If he will agree to go to an informational meeting - just to hear about it with you - I hope he will. The desire for annulment needs to come from HIM.

It may take a week - it may take a year for him to decide that he’s ready. But he probably won’t if you threaten him.

I am surprised that you did not talk about this before you married him. Either you would have not gone through with the marriage and would have met someone else, he would have sought an annulment in order to marry you in the church, or you would have married and accepted your choice of marrying a divorced Catholic and not be making threats for him to do something now when you both were in agreement before.
 
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thelibrarian said:
I am surprised that you did not talk about this before you married him. Either you would have not gone through with the marriage and would have met someone else, he would have sought an annulment in order to marry you in the church, or you would have married and accepted your choice of marrying a divorced Catholic and not be making threats for him to do something now when you both were in agreement before.
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It looks like the OP has does not appear to have been well catechized, had a recent and powerful spiritual awakening that has spurred her to correct a situation that has interfered with communion.
 
She knew that she shouldn’t have married him and that when she did she should not receive Holy Communion but did not know that receiving it anyway was sacrilege.
 
To reiterate; talk to your parish priest (and others to get a more complete view of your situation) if that is possible. Some of the posts here are correct, some are not “wrong” but really, they don’t know your entire situation. Only a priest can do that if you lay it all on the table for him.
 
Your being married to a man who is divorced without an annulment is adultery, which is a mortal sin. You should abstain from _All_sexuality with you husband. SEE A PRIEST ASAP He can advise better than any lay person.
 
Just curious: the church is trying to protect people by not allowing them to receive communion in objective mortal sin. Would the Lord Himself punish them for not receiving Him worthily? Like, maybe something on the order of striking them with something or other? What would He do, if anything.

Also, there were two different cases I know of where the couples were allowed communion through an internal forum. Both couples had been denied communion because they couldn’t get annulments. It is unlikely that one of the couples I know of actually abstain from sex. (I personally know the husband since he is a relative, and I know he always wants his own way. He told the priest if he wasn’t allowed communion he would just go to a different church.)
 
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