Can't trust the dude!

[JCPhoenix]

Sir Knight:

Let me get this straight? You are advising her not to get a gun, which can be fired from across the room before the attacker can get anywhere near her because the attacker can get the gun away from her. Instead, you are suggesting the use of razor blades, tweezers, candle holders, etc.; all of which require her to come within striking distance of her attacker in order for them to be effective and there is no concern that he will get these things away from her?

That makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever! A gun is the least likely weapon to be taken from her because she can fire it from dozens of feet away before he can get anywhere near her to even attempt to take it away. All of the other weapons are more likely to be taken away from her more readily than a gun because all of the other weapons that you mentioned require her to come within striking distance of him where he can block the attack, grab her and attempt to take the weapon away from her.

YEAH! THAT’S EXACTLY what I’m saying.

From police training, and an example I saw EVERYWHERE and even experienced…someone can stab a person more quickly than that person can draw their gun.

Where do most people keep their guns for home defense? In drawers, in closets, under beds. How likely is someone to be to have a gun handy?

So with your idealistic and overly-pro-gun position, she would be more than dead. She’d be dead 9 times over if the gun happens to be an average semi-automatic. 18 times if her own gun is an average semi-automatic.

And since you are pushing guns so readily, it shows you are not seeing clearly. You are pushing your own agenda upon someone who is NOT comfortable with guns, has EXPRESSED her discomfort, and still you persist with the idea that this is the only way. What, do you own stock in Smith & Wesson?

Everyone has boundaries. It is FAR more important to recognize in one’s own surroundings that ANYTHING can be a weapon, and in speaking as a human being, I don’t have a gun attached to my body at all times. In speaking as an intelligent human being, even though you clearly disagree with my intelligence, I need to be aware of the fact that a gun does not solve every problem and is not the answer to all self defense questions.

Sorry to disappoint you, brother in Christ.

Most burglaries occurr in the daytime when people are at work. MOST burglars don’t want to be caught. What if the woman in question (or man, for that matter) works nights?

What if the burglar is a stalker, and not a burglar? First of all, he won’t be ready for shampoo in the eyes. He’d have your response.

“WHAT? SHAMPOO? I NEVER THOUGHT THIS B** would kick my rear wne with SHAMPOO!”

People don’t always have time to access their weapons. If they have children, keeping a loaded gun under the bed is not practical.

In fact, it’s stupid.

Knowing how to use various object in the house and see thier potential as a weapon is a good defense, if the incident can’t be warded off entirely.

Get a grip, Sir Knight. You have no idea what it’s like to be a woman, you clearly have not had good training in self defense, and apparently you are seeing out of the eye of your own weapon. That’s typically called “tunnel vision” Now you know what it comes from.

It’s usually cured by removing your eye from the gun sight, taking a deep breath, and looking around.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of the 2nd Amendment…but you are forcing guns donw everyone’s throat, and unfortunately, guns are NOT the answer to all threats.

 

[deb1]

Donna P:

And you’re asking us becuase…?

Run and run fast. Pray for all you want but his behavior points to problems.

(By the way… what is it with women who go for dangerous guys?)

Look for someone nice at church!

I am not certain from your post but are you suggesting that Paris Blues is attracted to this man? She has given absolutely no indication that she has any attraction to him, in fact she sounds justifiably frightened. She isn’t asking us if she should go out with him for tea, she is asking how to keep this man from stalking her. To me, her post makes it very clear that she understands this man is scary and not date material.

Paris please don’t hesitate to get this man kicked out of the building. He sounds potentially dangerous.

 

[deb1]

JCPhoenix:

I

• Don’t go out and get a gun. I have one, but I have a different mentality and different training. Guns, pepper spray, etc., …all can be taken from you and used AGAINST you. Instead, find a class in self defense, and start applying it. For example. Consider: what if you’re in the shower and someone breaks in and enters the bathroom. (what a nightmare!). What weapons do you have available to you? Well…shampoo in the eyes is quite blinding, and on the floor…slippery. Towels to buy time. Razor blades, tweezers (right up the nose, into the eye). A finger down the throat to vomit? Be creative, do the unexpected. Know your house, know your tools.

For example, I have a candle holder with a huge spike. A candle, of course, covers the spike. But in a pinch, the floor candle holder is a great blunt weapon, and the spike could do a lot of damage with the canle removed.

. !

Wow! I had never considered shampoo as a weapon. That is amazing. Thanks for posting that.

 

[5-Decades-a-Day]

Paris Blues:

BTW, he is on his last warning and if one more person complains, that’s it, he’s outa there. Now I don’t want that to happen but

But nothing. Why would you NOT want that to happen? Because it might be an inconvenience for him? That’s his problem.

 

[Homebrew_roots]

Tell a male friend of yours what is goin on for sure! Preferably a large male friend . Have him over a lot and then you will look like not such an easy target. Hopefully any male friend of yours would also go over to this guy and set him straight if there is ever a uncomfortable situation. Chivalry isnt dead to all of us…

 

[Sir_Knight]

JCPhoenix:

From police training, and an example I saw EVERYWHERE and even experienced…someone can stab a person more quickly than that person can draw their gun.

You are making reference to the 21-foot rule in that a person 21-feet away with a knife can reach you before you will have a chance to draw your weapon. However, if you already have a firearm in hand, you are in a better position WITH a gun than without one because you can engage the threat before he comes within striking distance of you.

JCPhoenix:

So with your idealistic and overly-pro-gun position, she would be more than dead.

You have yet to show that while I have already demonstrated that even in your 21-foot situation she would still be better off with a firearm than without one because a gun would enable to engage her attacker before he came within striking distance of her.

Plus, how can someone be “more than dead”? That is a dramatic statement which has no real meaning to it.

JCPhoenix:

She’d be dead 9 times over if the gun happens to be an average semi-automatic. 18 times if her own gun is an average semi-automatic.

How did you draw this conclusion that she would be dead more times with a gun than without one because it is not readily apparent to me.

JCPhoenix:

And since you are pushing guns so readily, it shows you are not seeing clearly. You are pushing your own agenda upon someone who is NOT comfortable with guns, has EXPRESSED her discomfort, and still you persist with the idea that this is the only way.

I am not pushing my own agenda on anyone. I stated my opinon, which is based on expereince, that she would be best armed with a gun and when she said that she was uncomfortable with that, I suggested that she find an alternate means of self defense because the time to prepare is before and not during or after.

JCPhoenix:

What, do you own stock in Smith & Wesson?

No, I have law enforcement training and real life and near death expereince and I know that a person is BEST armed with a gun and I do not wish to see a board member in a compromising situation because she dismissed an option before even giving it serious consideration.

JCPhoenix:

Everyone has boundaries.

Yes, they do and you would be surprised how many boundaries people are able to over come if they HAVE TO.

JCPhoenix:

It is FAR more important to recognize in one’s own surroundings that ANYTHING can be a weapon, and in speaking as a human being, I don’t have a gun attached to my body at all times.

You obviously use what you can at the moment but having access to a gun increases your chances of not being hurt during the confrontation because a firearm allows you to engage an atacker before you can get his hands on you.

JCPhoenix:

In speaking as an intelligent human being, even though you clearly disagree with my intelligence, I need to be aware of the fact that a gun does not solve every problem and is not the answer to all self defense questions.

In 100% agreement. Which is why I also suggested that she consider getting some lethal force training where they talk about when a person can and can not legally use a gun and what other means of self defense to employ if she can not reach her gun. I didn’t tell her to blindly go off and buy a gun, did I?

JCPhoenix:

Most burglaries occurr in the daytime when people are at work. MOST burglars don’t want to be caught. What if the woman in question (or man, for that matter) works nights?

We’re not talking about a burglar. We’re talking about a man who has done nasty things to her car and now wants to suddently go out with her. Either he is harmless but merely lacking social skills or he is not so harmless.

 

[Sir_Knight]

JCPhoenix:

What if the burglar is a stalker, and not a burglar? First of all, he won’t be ready for shampoo in the eyes. He’d have your response.

“WHAT? SHAMPOO? I NEVER THOUGHT THIS B** would kick my rear wne with SHAMPOO!”

You also have to get close enough to him in order to put the shampoo in his eye and if you credit the attacker with being able to take a gun away from you from across the room than he is more than capable of taking a bottle of shampoo away from you at arm’s length away.

JCPhoenix:

If they have children, keeping a loaded gun under the bed is not practical.

People with children have to be even better protected because not only do they have their own life to protect but that of their child as well. The CCC clearly states that those who are responsible for the well being of the family have a GRAVE duty to ensure their safety.

JCPhoenix:

In fact, it’s stupid.

There are numerous methods of keeping a gun out of the hands of children but still have it readily available.

JCPhoenix:

Knowing how to use various object in the house and see thier potential as a weapon is a good defense, if the incident can’t be warded off entirely.

You again, make the case for lethal force training where they concentrate on alternative courses of actions if a person can not reach their gun – something which I have already recommended.

JCPhoenix:

Get a grip, Sir Knight. You have no idea what it’s like to be a woman,

No I don’t but I do know that in most cases the man will be bigger and stronger than the woman and even more experienced fighting skills. I also know that a gun will allow a woman to enage a threat at a distance before the man can utilize his greater strength and size to his advantage.

JCPhoenix:

you clearly have not had good training in self defense,

I went through the state police academy in training for becoming a state trooper. A stabbing injury prior to graduation prevented me from being able to work in that position. One would hope, however, that the training that police officers receive is superior to what an average citizen is normally able to receive. If it isn’t, then it places serious doubt on the police’s ability to protect us if they are not properly trained to even correctly protect themselves.

JCPhoenix:

and apparently you are seeing out of the eye of your own weapon. That’s typically called “tunnel vision” Now you know what it comes from.

It’s usually cured by removing your eye from the gun sight, taking a deep breath, and looking around.

“Tunnel vision” also comes from ignoring certain options before giving them fair consideration because of certain pre-judged notions about them.

JCPhoenix:

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of the 2nd Amendment…but you are forcing guns donw everyone’s throat, and unfortunately, guns are NOT the answer to all threats.

You are correct that guns are not the answer to all threats and for all people. Yet you keep accusing me of “forcing guns down everyone’s throat” when I have also recommended formal training and I suggested that if a gun is out of the picture for her, then she still needs to be prapared to deal with a potential threat and the time to prepare is before hand – not during or afterwards.

 

[Sir_Knight]

• Paris Blues, When you get a chance, please consider looking at this website – it is run by a cyber friend of mind with woman safety as one of the objectives.
• JCPhoenix, your advise to Paris Blues is inconsistent with other comments that you have made on these forums …

JCPhoenix:

I am an American woman, a gun owner, and if someone comes up my stairs in the middle of the night, they’ll get one warning if I’m in a merciful mood. More likely I’ll shoot first and ask questions later. – %between%.

… If you feel that you, yourself, are better armed with a gun than actually having to physically engage someone in combat where their greater size & strength might work to your disadvantage, why do you want Paris Blues to dismiss it as an option before giving it serious consideration?

 

[JCPhoenix]

* Paris Blues, When you get a chance, please consider looking at this website – it is run by a cyber friend of mind with woman safety as one of the objectives.

• JCPhoenix, your advise to Paris Blues is inconsistent with other comments that you have made on these forums … … If you feel that you, yourself, are better armed with a gun than actually having to physically engage someone in combat where their greater size & strength might work to your disadvantage, why do you want Paris Blues to dismiss it as an option before giving it serious consideration?

Sir Knight, my comments are NOT inconsistent as I was speaking previously regarding my own personal preferece. Yes, I have a gun, and I am willing to use it should the need arise. However, I don’t traipse around my house carrying a gun. That means that should I be attacked and NOT have my gun near by, then the idea that the gun is the best defense is now a moot point.

Paris expressed discomfort with a gun. I offered a practical alternative, the context of which you conveniently omitted when you tore apart my posts.

Do YOU carry a gun in the shower?

The most vulnerable place to be if someone breaks in is in the shower. You’re undressed, you’re cornered, and you likely don’t have a gun handly.

Guess it would be hard to use it then, huh?

Regarding my use of the term “burglar” as an example, I understand that this freak is not a burglar, so please give me a break. He could just break into her house, which would be breaking and entering, and this would be referred to as burglary. Even if his intial goal, as is that of some stalkers, to obtain some “objects” from her house, or to learn even more about her fo rhis insane purposes, if she is home and in a vulnerable position at the time, she needs to have more than one idea in her head.

And yes, as you continually bring up the gun option, you ARE forcing an agenda. I’m glad you like your guns. I like mine, too, but I grew up in a home in which my mother was TERRIFIED of them due to other reasons. Because of this, should someone express discomfort regarding firearms, I am more sensitive to their need to discuss alternatives.

A gun is not a guarantee.

And as this thread has now been hijacked from the intended purpose, may I request that if you have any further comments on the gun issue you respond to my by PM so this thread can go on uninterrupted?

Thank you.

Paris, I will pray for you. Will you keep us updated?

 

[MulusChristi]

Dear Colleagues,
I’m all for gun ownership, but my sense of Paris’ temperment is that she is not a pistol-packin mama and she has enough to worry about without learning how to use a gun now also. Everything I have seen in the personal security literature stresses that one should avoid getting into situations where a gun is all that stands between life and death.
Paris needs to pay very close attention to her environment and stay away from situations where this guy could get her alone. It doesn't sound like the complex is going to get rid of the guy, so her only real option is to get out, without him knowing where she went. Paris, PLEASE look at Gavin de Becker's book and pay attention to JCPhoenix' advice!

 

[3boyzmom]

If “one more warning and he will be kicked out” is true, then complain and let him get kicked out-

but probably if it were me, I’d just move. There is no need to put yourself in harm’s way. I’m not saying you should turn tail and run every time there’s an unpleasant situation, but you have done what you can to deal with this fellow, and he’s still bothering you. I say put your safety and comfort first.

 

[Dr.Bombay]

deb1:

I am not certain from your post but are you suggesting that Paris Blues is attracted to this man? She has given absolutely no indication that she has any attraction to him, in fact she sounds justifiably frightened. She isn’t asking us if she should go out with him for tea, she is asking how to keep this man from stalking her. To me, her post makes it very clear that she understands this man is scary and not date material.

Well, I’ll suggest it. Based on this…
Paris Blues:

I KNOW he’s flirting with me but this dude is almost 32 yrs. old though a handsome fella - he has dark wavy long hair with a nice face…

I can only judge based on what’s presented here. She may well be “justifiably frightened” but it seems to me there’s also some sort of an attraction there. Does a sensible human being really need advice from strangers on the internet to get as far away as possible from a sociopath, if that is truly what this man is?

Methinks the lady doth protest too much…

 

[JCPhoenix]

Dr. Bombay:

Well, I’ll suggest it. Based on this… I can only judge based on what’s presented here. She may well be “justifiably frightened” but it seems to me there’s also some sort of an attraction there. Does a sensible human being really need advice from strangers on the internet to get as far away as possible from a sociopath, if that is truly what this man is?

Methinks the lady doth protest too much…

You should read Gavin DeBecker’s book, too. That will answer your question.

We are raised to be “polite”, and typically that means that we don’t do things that make others think ill of us. Paris is looking for advice. A guy creeped her out and she is coming here to seek advice from a HUGE cross section of people who may have dealt with something like this.

I also have a freaky neighbor and recently posted a related topic.

To use your argument, then you would have to argue that I am attracted to my freaky neighbor because I posted online about him.

That’s not a logical argument on your end. Women are raised to be nice to people, and to not cause a scene, or cause any problems. All of us are raised to get along with our neighbors at all costs.

But the part left out of the equation is the idea that some people are dangerous, and they need, therefore, to be handled by a different set of rules which completely contradicts the accepted societal rules. And it’s very uncomfortable to go against the grain.

I understand what you are saying, but I see no “attraction” here. I see venting, seeking to understand, and seeking guidance as to how best to handle a situation which can be very tricky.

And you have well demonstrated ONE of the reasons Paris is here and not keeping it to people who know her…they may be making the same suggestion as you, and this undermines the very real perception she has that THIS GUY MIGHT BE DANGEROUS.

My advice to YOU is both to read the book and then to re-think your victim-blaming suggestion. (sorry to be harsh, just can’t think of a softer phrase).

 

[Dr.Bombay]

JCPhoenix:

You should read Gavin DeBecker’s book, too. That will answer your question.

We are raised to be “polite”, and typically that means that we don’t do things that make others think ill of us. Paris is looking for advice. A guy creeped her out and she is coming here to seek advice from a HUGE cross section of people who may have dealt with something like this.

I also have a freaky neighbor and recently posted a related topic.

To use your argument, then you would have to argue that I am attracted to my freaky neighbor because I posted online about him.

That’s not a logical argument on your end. Women are raised to be nice to people, and to not cause a scene, or cause any problems. All of us are raised to get along with our neighbors at all costs.

But the part left out of the equation is the idea that some people are dangerous, and they need, therefore, to be handled by a different set of rules which completely contradicts the accepted societal rules. And it’s very uncomfortable to go against the grain.

I understand what you are saying, but I see no “attraction” here. I see venting, seeking to understand, and seeking guidance as to how best to handle a situation which can be very tricky.

And you have well demonstrated ONE of the reasons Paris is here and not keeping it to people who know her…they may be making the same suggestion as you, and this undermines the very real perception she has that THIS GUY MIGHT BE DANGEROUS.

My advice to YOU is both to read the book and then to re-think your victim-blaming suggestion. (sorry to be harsh, just can’t think of a softer phrase).

Uh huh.

If I had a neighbor who I felt was a physical threat to me, I certainly wouldn’t describe her to others by mentioning her “wavy hair” and “nice face.” I don’t care if the babe was drop-dead gorgeous. If I felt threatened, I would get away as fast as possible, no matter how cheap the rent or convenient the location. And I wouldn’t ask anyone’s advice either.

On the other hand, if I really wanted something to happen, perhaps I’d go fishing for advice, hoping someone would tell me, “Oh, that’s not so weird. Give that person a chance. It could be a fairy tale romance.”

Fight or flight. Rent and location are not suitable excuses for remaining in a physically compromising situation. Unless there’s some other reason.

But maybe there are different categories of stalkers, the attractive ones and the ugly ones…

 

[JCPhoenix]

Dr. Bombay:

Uh huh.

If I had a neighbor who I felt was a physical threat to me, I certainly wouldn’t describe her to others by mentioning her “wavy hair” and “nice face.” I don’t care if the babe was drop-dead gorgeous. If I felt threatened, I would get away as fast as possible, no matter how cheap the rent or convenient the location. And I wouldn’t ask anyone’s advice either.

On the other hand, if I really wanted something to happen, perhaps I’d go fishing for advice, hoping someone would tell me, “Oh, that’s not so weird. Give that person a chance. It could be a fairy tale romance.”

Fight or flight. Rent and location are not suitable excuses for remaining in a physically compromising situation. Unless there’s some other reason.

But maybe there are different categories of stalkers, the attractive ones and the ugly ones…

Remember…just because YOU would do something a certain way does not mean that someone else would do things in the same way.

We are all flawed in that we tend to make judgments regarding others based upon our own responses. (I have to do this every day at work, and constantly have to remind myself to step into the other person’s shoes. If I don’t, I miss the boat entirely).

Paris is a nice girl. She is young and inexperienced, and even if she feels threatened, she is acknowledging that the person in question is good looking. ie: if he’s good looking, maybe he’s not that bad because he doesn’t LOOK like a monster.

I know many people who have been threatening towards me and I also have described their good looks (usually followed by a “what a waste” type of comment). I think Paris is too nice to have my sarcasm and she is trying hard to be what she thinks is “Christian” in attitude although she fears this guy for good reason.

This does not mean that she is attracted to him or looking to justify ignoring the red flags.

Back when I had an SD for awhile, I went to him about an issue with a friend. Not the same situation, clearly, but I was confused about some things she said/did, as she is a very good Catholic, very devout, solid, etc. He pretty much dismissed all of my consternation about the whole thing by telling me, “She is not you. She doesn’t have to be you. You have weaknesses, and so does she. Just because you react as in X and maybe this is the right way, does not mean that she understands it the same way…”

It kind of went from there. Overall, he wasn’t real helpful in that particular case, but he had a point. Over and over again, I make judgments based on what I would do. Well, as I once read in a book, “until you walk in someone else’s Nike’s, you can’t imagine the smell”.

Let’s give Paris the benefit of the doubt here. I really do understand what you are saying, I simply disagree with you.

 

[Sir_Knight]

JCPhoenix:

Sir Knight, my comments are NOT inconsistent as I was speaking previously regarding my own personal preferece. Yes, I have a gun, and I am willing to use it should the need arise. However, I don’t traipse around my house carrying a gun. That means that should I be attacked and NOT have my gun near by, then the idea that the gun is the best defense is now a moot point.

Paris expressed discomfort with a gun. I offered a practical alternative, the context of which you conveniently omitted when you tore apart my posts.

Do YOU carry a gun in the shower?

The most vulnerable place to be if someone breaks in is in the shower. You’re undressed, you’re cornered, and you likely don’t have a gun handly.

Guess it would be hard to use it then, huh?

Regarding my use of the term “burglar” as an example, I understand that this freak is not a burglar, so please give me a break. He could just break into her house, which would be breaking and entering, and this would be referred to as burglary. Even if his intial goal, as is that of some stalkers, to obtain some “objects” from her house, or to learn even more about her fo rhis insane purposes, if she is home and in a vulnerable position at the time, she needs to have more than one idea in her head.

And yes, as you continually bring up the gun option, you ARE forcing an agenda. I’m glad you like your guns. I like mine, too, but I grew up in a home in which my mother was TERRIFIED of them due to other reasons. Because of this, should someone express discomfort regarding firearms, I am more sensitive to their need to discuss alternatives.

A gun is not a guarantee.

And as this thread has now been hijacked from the intended purpose, may I request that if you have any further comments on the gun issue you respond to my by PM so this thread can go on uninterrupted?

Thank you.

It’s interesting how you decided to have your say first before concluding that our conversation is taking this threat off-topic and should be continued via PM I wonder why you didn’t reach that conclusion before posting your own lengthy reply?

 

[Dr.Bombay]

JCPhoenix:

Remember…just because YOU would do something a certain way does not mean that someone else would do things in the same way.

We are all flawed in that we tend to make judgments regarding others based upon our own responses. (I have to do this every day at work, and constantly have to remind myself to step into the other person’s shoes. If I don’t, I miss the boat entirely).

Paris is a nice girl. She is young and inexperienced, and even if she feels threatened, she is acknowledging that the person in question is good looking. ie: if he’s good looking, maybe he’s not that bad because he doesn’t LOOK like a monster.

I know many people who have been threatening towards me and I also have described their good looks (usually followed by a “what a waste” type of comment). I think Paris is too nice to have my sarcasm and she is trying hard to be what she thinks is “Christian” in attitude although she fears this guy for good reason.

This does not mean that she is attracted to him or looking to justify ignoring the red flags.

Back when I had an SD for awhile, I went to him about an issue with a friend. Not the same situation, clearly, but I was confused about some things she said/did, as she is a very good Catholic, very devout, solid, etc. He pretty much dismissed all of my consternation about the whole thing by telling me, “She is not you. She doesn’t have to be you. You have weaknesses, and so does she. Just because you react as in X and maybe this is the right way, does not mean that she understands it the same way…”

It kind of went from there. Overall, he wasn’t real helpful in that particular case, but he had a point. Over and over again, I make judgments based on what I would do. Well, as I once read in a book, “until you walk in someone else’s Nike’s, you can’t imagine the smell”.

Let’s give Paris the benefit of the doubt here. I really do understand what you are saying, I simply disagree with you.

Ok, I understand a college coed is going to handle things differently than someone like me, who is probably old enough to be her…older brother.

Having said that, if this is as threatening a situation as it has been portrayed, she needs to get out of that apartment today. Do pass go, do not collect $200. She does not need advice on how to deal with the guy, she just needs to get away from him. There’s a reason God gave us instincts. If red flags are being raised and warning bells going off, they should not be ignored. It is foolhardy to continue to live in that situation. Money and convenience are not worth risking our lives.

On the other hand, maybe Paris should accept the invitation to tea the next time it’s offered. Meet him in a public place, talk to him for a few minutes…maybe it ends up being a few hours. She might even find there’s more to him than car-spitting and listening to satanic heavy metal music. The Nike walking goes both ways.

So, that’s my advice. If he’s a threat, get away. Now. If there’s some sort of romantic interest, get to know him. There doesn’t seem to be much middle ground here.

The most disturbing thing I find about this whole incident is the invitation to tea. TEA?? What is that? Why not coffee? Why not a bite to eat? TEA?? That alone makes me question his motives. :whacky:

 

[Liberian]

Paris,

I don’t know whether you have taken any self-defense classes but if you haven’t I would strongly recommend that you get into one right away. As I told my eighteen-year-old daughter, you are your own first line of defense and you are your own last line of defense. Other people may help in between, but you are your own first responder.

You may also want to consider, once you have learned how to handle one, carrying a knife in your purse.

• Liberian

 

[NYC_Jayhawk]

If complaining to your landlord won’t fix the situation, you should move. Your landlord has a responsibility to his tenants, and if he can’t meet this responsibility, he or she is not a reliable landlord and I would be hesitant as to what other responsibilities the landlord falls short in.

I know it’s a huge hassle to move, especially if you have found an apartment at a good price (and I live in NYC, so trust me I know how hard it is to find an affordable apartment, and what a drag moving to a new place is!), but the bottom line is you have to be comfortable with where you live. At the end of the day, being able to go home, relax, and be comfortable there far outweighs any money and hassle you save by living in a building or neighborhood you don’t feel comfortable in.

 

[JCPhoenix]

Dr. Bombay:

.

The most disturbing thing I find about this whole incident is the invitation to tea. TEA?? What is that? Why not coffee? Why not a bite to eat? TEA?? That alone makes me question his motives. :whacky:

I agree 100%. What’s THAT about? Does he have a British accent? Is he “prepotente”? (Spanish speakers will recognize this term.

I’ve had guys ask me out for coffee, for drinks, for a beer, etc…but I can honestly say that in those invitations, “tea”, if ever mentioned, was kind of an afterthought. Kind of like, “Hey, I was going for coffee, I’ll treat you to one…or tea, if you’d prefer…etc., because I’m reallly enjoying our conversation…”

That kind of thing.

Paris, he’s right, and do you have any news?