But still, JP II said the divorced/remarried must not despair of God’s grace.
I agree those living a sacramental life cannot imagine such a thing but I think we are losing sight of something here. Each person in this circumstance **still **has a choice to make. Until the moment of death, there is nothing to prevent a soul from repenting except by their conscious choice to reject grace. We do great harm in affirming the idea that the remarried are somehow permanently outside the circle. However, the big choice and difficult decision is to choose for themselves the path the Church has lighted for them.
I have a friend who was married outside the Church. After an eight year period, the Lord called her so strongly back to Himself, she made the decision that if there was no other possible way, she would have to leave her husband because she simply could not stay away from the sacraments any longer. (At that time she had two young children.) She still cries to this day to think of the mercy of Christ who eventually provided the annulment for convalidation. I truly believe the ultimate choice is either Christ or **not. **
I think we all can agree that a marriage is indissoluble. But I take issue with such a black-and-white view of “choice” always being the realistic option in individual circumstances. Yes, I read that piece you linked to a bit farther back on the thread, and am inclined to find its authors… not so much hard of heart, but not being well positioned to feel and experience the pain of people in difficult circumstances, and thus unable to formulate a merciful approach to them.
How can you reconcile someone leaving an abusive relationship, or being abandoned, then getting remarried, with “choice”? Look at the post from Convert1.
Life is messy and rarely black-and-white. My own story from the time I abandoned Catholicism, married in a civil ceremony, reconciled with the Church, and had my marriage convalidated (something that took time as my wife was initially non-cooperative), is as good an example as any.
I also take issue with the fact that because some people do find the strength (presumably with a cooperative spouse) to live as “brother and sister”, that this is not a one-size-fits-all solution. We are all differently abled; some have uncooperative but otherwise loving spouses (which was my case). Some couples may be able to sustain continence with sacramental grace. Some may not be able to sustain it even with sacramental grace.
We are putting people, often very broken people, in a “no man’s land” where progression to true conversion is difficult if not impossible. The Church offers medicine for the soul, and often withholds it from those who need it the most. Those of us with access to sacramental grace shouldn’t sit in our ivory towers while people outside the palace hunger for God. It’s not up to us to keep them out if they truly seek communion with God.
In any event you’re right in that this is a decision that’s above our pay grade. However I do hope that those who do have to arrive at a consensus on this, take a hard look at the level of culpability of couples in this situation, with respect to the grave sin of “adultery” that someone in a successful second marriage is committing. As a Benedictine, I will be bound to obedience with whatever decision is made, and will pray that I never ever find myself in such a situation in the future.
I belong to a spiritual tradition for which doctrine is the servant of the Church, and not man the servant of doctrine. Doctrine does not save. Christ does. Christ was spat on, whipped, crowned with thorns, and nailed to a cross. He suffered all of that to bring us to reconcile us with God. Right now, and this is something that grates on me perhaps even more than lack of access to communion, the Church also prevents access to confession. The two most healing and nourishing sacraments are denied. IMHO, “spiritual communion” is an empty shell in comparison.
Is the path through easier annulments? I am of mixed feelings on this. I think I prefer a case-by-case analysis of a person’s degree of culpability as suggests Card. Tagle, rather than easier annulments. We run the very real risk with too easy annulments, of making a real mockery of the notion of indissoluble marriages, a sort of “Catholic divorce” in all but name. I think personally it might be much more healing to acknowledge sometimes we make mistakes, sometimes these mistakes cannot be undone, and let’s live as holy a life as is possible under the circumstances with God’s grace (recognizing that this may be different for different situations), and ultimately let God be our judge.
We can of course continue to support the status quo, and pray that when it is our turn to face judgement, God isn’t too hard on us for having failed to show mercy and compassion.