Caring what others think

[Jump4Joy]

Is it vanity that causes to feel offense? For example, why feel hurt or rejected when someone finds us unattractive, they simply prefer something else. I recently watched a father Mike Schmitz video on how easily offended people are. God calls us to be unoffendable. The truth has no feelings and does not change to appeal to our feelings.
Criticism is always needed to help us improve. If we were always on our best behavior, there would be little to nothing to correct. Instead of getting upset if someone points out of a wart, wrinkle, fat, why not simply accept the truth? Being unattractive doesn’t make us less. I wish tough love were administered more often. I’m curious. Is it our business to correct sexual sins? That’s a sensitive topic. I’ll post the video when I can find it. Tell me what you think. Our self worth comes from God, why trust in a human opinion of us? Isn’t that a sin?

 

[kill051]

Is it vanity that causes to feel offense?

There is so much in your post, I wanted to concentrate only on your opening thesis. If not vanity, I have long felt it is our ego that causes us to feel offended by something. I think nothing has caused more problem than the arising of the human ego, which apparently first reared its ugly head in the Garden of Eden. My life is a daily struggle to turn my gaze away from the mirror and back to Christ. I pray constantly that He will give me the grace, the strength and the will(in that order!) to forget myself and my desires, and to become as transparent as possible a conduit for His love to travel to every being I meet. I hope this rather rambling (and not very coherent!) reply has been some help!

 

[Jump4Joy]

If we have to power to choose how we react, I wonder why people choose to feel offended?

 

[misstherese]

It’s not always our ego that makes us feel offended. I feel offended when someone disrespects our Lord, not because of my ego but because our Lord deserves more than that.

Some people are also naturally sensitive. I think it’s important to listen to where the motivations and emotions are coming from and discern whether it’s prideful or not.

 

[margaret42]

Yes, it’s what God thinks of us that matters. And unless another person is saying what they think so they can help us know the truth, it’s not our business to know what others think of us.

 

[Jump4Joy]

Why are some people more or less easily offended than others? Why can’t we all be less easily offended?

 

[fhansen]

Is it vanity that causes to feel offense? For example, why feel hurt or rejected when someone finds us unattractive, they simply prefer something else. I recently watched a father Mike Schmitz video on how easily offended people are. God calls us to be unoffendable. The truth has no feelings and does not change to appeal to our feelings.
Criticism is always needed to help us improve. If we were always on our best behavior, there would be little to nothing to correct. Instead of getting upset if someone points out of a wart, wrinkle, fat, why not simply accept the truth? Being unattractive doesn’t make us less. I wish tough love were administered more often. I’m curious. Is it our business to correct sexual sins? That’s a sensitive topic. I’ll post the video when I can find it. Tell me what you think. Our self worth comes from God, why trust in a human opinion of us? Isn’t that a sin?

Great points. Humans are way too sensitive as a rule to offenses or perceived offenses, beyond reason. This is a marker of loss of innocence, original sin. Pride is the culprit, and it’s directly related to fear of what others think.

 

[Jump4Joy]

How do you remove this type of pride?

 

[fhansen]

How do you remove this type of pride?

I think that’s a battle all of our lives. Pride is essentially opposition to God, who exalts the humble and, Himself, opposes the proud. It’s to care more about the praise of men than the praise of God. (John 12:43) But this only serves to make us slaves to that praise. Pride is a slavery, one that promises greater fulfillment and happiness by virtue of being autonomous from God. This was Adam’s sin. We must come to God as little children having come to see our need for Him. We can ask for humility, just as we can ask for faith like the father in Mark 9:24. Anyway, as we enter into closer and closer communion with God, our desire for man’s praise, a desire that serves our pride, decreases. But its a battle. Our perfection, our justice, actually lies in winning this battle, possible only with God’s help, with grace.

 

[po18guy]

I fight the ego constantly. Somewhere, way back in time, I was rejected and it hurt. Ever since, I seek acceptance, even though God accepts me as I am. My ego flares when my error is pointed out, when my “brilliant” ideas, suggestions and posts are rejected, when my beliefs are attacked. If I had the faith and confidence in God that I should, none of this would occur. Speaking of brilliance…

“Pride is the child of ignorance, humility the offspring of knowledge.”

• Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen

 

[Rob2]

Because of the person I am I do care what others think of me . That’s the person I am .

In no way is it sinful .

It would become sinful if I let the opinions of others lead me into ways which are not in line with the will of God .

That’s a totally different matter from just feeling miffed , offended .

 

[Nelka]

I guess it depends on how they say it. Walking up to a stranger in the street and calling them ugly is different to someone just not being attracted to you.

 

[Seagull]

Is it vanity that causes to feel offense?

Anytime - that your angry - or sad - it’s your vanity !

We really shouldn’t be deeply offended by anything.

Nothing irks me more than seeing protesters - on the streets
with ski masks throwing rocks and swearing
and carrying signs and shaking their fist -
What monsters of society and of vanity, someone created.

Give em an inch - and they think their a ruler.

 

[Greenfields]

Sometimes it can be to do with perhaps not having enough affirmation as a child,growing up and it can trouble us a lot until we give it to God.
I read somewhere,or someone told me we are often our harshest critics .

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

There are cases where it is very important what other people think of us.
For instance, if your boss thinks you’re lazy, you could get fired.

 

[misstherese]

Why are some people more or less easily offended than others? Why can’t we all be less easily offended?

Some hold tighter beliefs than others. I think, in that aspect, it would be better to be open minded and swallow that sensitivity. I don’t mean open minded as in, easily persuaded. But respectful enough to listen to the person and not start spewing words immediately.

Some, as I said are born with a little more sensitivity than others. Gabrielle Bossis in the book He and I, said that her feelings were hurt. Jesus told her to “make use of your sensitivity. It was given to you so that you might merit by it.”

 

[kill051]

There are cases where it is very important what other people think of us.
For instance, if your boss thinks you’re lazy, you could get fired.

Ah, but this is easily remedied. The boss may think an employee lazy, but all the employee has to do in that instance is provide tangible proof to the contrary, i.e. arriving early for his shift, staying later than necessary, working quickly and efficiently, requesting more work, &c. If the boss still thinks the employee lazy after all that, then the boss has an incorrect perception of reality. However, issues of character, ethics and otherwise are far less easily quantified, and consequently, other people often get things like this wrong when observing us, since there is little tangible evidence for or against their perception of these things.