Catholic and non Beleiver Marrige

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One of the most important factors in continued religious actvity among the children is the activity/example of the *father. *Not the mother, not the schools, not the friends…

So raise your child(ren) Catholic as best you can, take him to Mass every Sunday and pray with him every day and otherwise set the example of a good and serious lover of Christ, and that will have the strongest influence. It’s not a guarantee, but there are no guarantees anyway.
Matt_Guitar_Man said:
Good advice thykingdomcome,
My main issue with the public school system is that during those formative years there is just so much available that debunks God, our present Prime Minister is a vocal Athiest and through the encouragement of the present government the public broadcaster the ABC
night after night trots out Bgrade academics such as Richard Dawkens telling us all that beleiving in God is the equivalent of beleiving in Santa Clause and this is right through the public school system.
My worry is that I can do so much however without taking advantage of the Catholic system I will just be a candel in a hurrican.
My wife for her part is very supportive in lots of ways for e.g she does not have an athiest agenda, she just beleives that beleiving in many aspects of the way God is taught defies all logic and reason she is not one of these Athiest Socialists that beleive that religion is a poisen that weekens and corrupts the human mind. How ever in saying that she does come from a long line of Gypsies her father was actualy born in a Gypsie wagon and she does have her own peculiar belifs about the purpose of life, Karma and lots of other things and has a large repitoire of Gypsie folk tails. And we both thought our particular belifs would be quite complementry, the main issue is the school thing!
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JackieMom said:
It seems like you came here with a troll agenda regarding child abuse in the Catholic Church.
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No That is not true! My only agenda was telling my story and hoping for some good advice,
which I have recieved.
 
1ke said:
Agree, Jackie. Marriage magically sanated, and child magically baptized overnight. Hmmm…
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As I have said My only agenda is telling my story, Im sorry that you feel this way and doubt my honesty!
 
St_Francis said:
One of the most important factors in continued religious actvity among the children is the activity/example of the *father. *Not the mother, not the schools, not the friends…

So raise your child(ren) Catholic as best you can, take him to Mass every Sunday and pray with him every day and otherwise set the example of a good and serious lover of Christ, and that will have the strongest influence. It’s not a guarantee, but there are no guarantees anyway.
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Thank you St Francis,
Very good advice that is what I am doing at home soaking my young son in the gospel’s.
 
Matt_Guitar_Man said:
Im Sorry you felt the need to report me. I have been honest and open here and if I have raised some uncomfertable issues that is just the way it is, particularly at this junction in my life.
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I didn’t report you. CAF has a rule against public “troll busting”.
 
I would like to thank every one who replied to this thread, it has raised some uncomfertable issues for my self and obviuosly others as well. If I have offended any one I am truely sorry that was not my intention.

However this will be my last post, I would like to finish by saying that I printed this thread from start to finish and gave it to my wife to read, this was her response.
She said that it was informative for her and unfortunate for me that all of the initial respondants chose to initiate thier dialoge from a legalistic perspective, at a time here in Australia due to the 2 State commissions and the Fedral Royal commission in to child sexual abusse in the Church is in the news daily. She felt my immidiate defensive response to many of the threads was due to the fact that I most likely could not help but feel hard done by when being told that most of my present problems stem from the fact that I had failed to follow the legal precepts put down by the Church in my marriage at a time when it is being almost brutally expsoed here in Australia that the Church has so badly failed in its legal obligations to so many of its most vuneruble members.
 
devoutchristian said:
I didn’t report you. CAF has a rule against public “troll busting”.
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Devout Christian I am Sorry, I think because this is a global site and not just an American one sometimes perspectives can get out of wak! As I have said here in Australia the Church and we Catholics are going threw a particularlie hard time in a very public way.
And it happens to coincide with the time that my child is comming very close to startting his formal education.
In Catholic circles and non Catholic circles here it comes up and is spoken about all of the time.
I have to defend the Church in nearly every conversation that I have with my inlaws etc. There is no troll agenda here, those issues are in the news daily and is a very big part of my wifes concerns.
 
1ke said:
Agree, Jackie. Marriage magically sanated, and child magically baptized overnight. Hmmm…
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Dear 1ke,
You should know that nothing in a journey of faith, particularly a Catholic one happens over night.
For many of us who come from devout Catholic families, who have had mothers who taught us the rosary before we could read, Farthers who took us to early morning mass every day, who have wittnessed disapointments and joys in there lives and watched as children, when they have turned to the church in hope, sorrow, joy and pain. Have shared thier unbrideled optamism in the early days after Vatican 2, have watched on as young kids as thier dads brother was ordained, celbrated mass in the round on our own farm on christmass day with family and friends. And as we have grown into young adults shared our own stories with each other, looked on as contempories of ours have left the church, as drought has driven our parrents insane with disspare. Those of us who have rebelled against a God and a Church who no longer seemed to care. And me who,s mother so despratly wanted for the priesthood only to return from a ten year stint over sea’s playing in rock bands, which was only ment to be a year, with a Gypsie wife in tow.
Dear 1ke,
Not all of us are good Catholics but we are still Catholics wether or not you good Catholics want us or your don’t, we are still here and we are still part of the Catholic family.
And for non of us, is it an overnight thing.
If I could turn my back on God and the Church I would, my life would be so much easier, but I can’t God and the Church keep calling me back, keep pulling me in, Like St Peter I yell and scream at God " Leave me alone, leave me to myself for I am a Sinner" but he wont, and here I am.
I am nearly 50 now and the surprises and blessings, dissapointments and joys that God keeps showering my life with never scease to amaze me.
And no, none of it has happened over night.
 
Matt_Guitar_Man said:
As I have said My only agenda is telling my story, Im sorry that you feel this way and doubt my honesty!
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Matt, I apologize. I misread your post regarding your son’s baptism. By misreading it I though you had posted the other day that your son was not yet baptized, and then from yesterday to today was suddenly baptized.

So, I do apologize for misreading that and subsequently drawing some conclusions from that.

I would encourage you to reach out to your diocese to see if they have any groups or retreats for mixed religion couples. It is certainly not easy. If your son is indeed baptized, then do your best to raise him in the Faith, that is the promise made at baptism. Did your wife not understand that promise made at the baptism?
 
Hey Matt, I have put your wife on my daily prayer list in hope that she will one day come to know God and his church personally 🙂
God bless and never stop praying for her 🙂
 
Matt_Guitar_Man said:
Thank you for your reply, we were not married in the church. We were married in a registery office for legal reasons, I personaly do not beleive in civil marriages and I realy consider myself not married except in a purely legal agreament.
And no we did not disscuss the faith etc of future children, I always had my Faith which I practised myself and as far as my wife is concerned it is just a part of someone she loves very dearly and for my part I have always respected her opinions and have never tried to push my beleif’s upon her.
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How did you reconcile in your own mind getting ‘married’ outside the Church and having a child with being someone who always practices their Catholic Faith? Did you get a dispensation?
 
Matt_Guitar_Man said:
Dear 1ke,
You should know that nothing in a journey of faith, particularly a Catholic one happens over night.
For many of us who come from devout Catholic families, who have had mothers who taught us the rosary before we could read, Farthers who took us to early morning mass every day, who have wittnessed disapointments and joys in there lives and watched as children, when they have turned to the church in hope, sorrow, joy and pain. Have shared thier unbrideled optamism in the early days after Vatican 2, have watched on as young kids as thier dads brother was ordained, celbrated mass in the round on our own farm on christmass day with family and friends. And as we have grown into young adults shared our own stories with each other, looked on as contempories of ours have left the church, as drought has driven our parrents insane with disspare. Those of us who have rebelled against a God and a Church who no longer seemed to care. And me who,s mother so despratly wanted for the priesthood only to return from a ten year stint over sea’s playing in rock bands, which was only ment to be a year, with a Gypsie wife in tow.
Dear 1ke,
Not all of us are good Catholics but we are still Catholics wether or not you good Catholics want us or your don’t, we are still here and we are still part of the Catholic family.
And for non of us, is it an overnight thing.
If I could turn my back on God and the Church I would, my life would be so much easier, but I can’t God and the Church keep calling me back, keep pulling me in, Like St Peter I yell and scream at God " Leave me alone, leave me to myself for I am a Sinner" but he wont, and here I am.
I am nearly 50 now and the surprises and blessings, dissapointments and joys that God keeps showering my life with never scease to amaze me.
And no, none of it has happened over night.
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:rolleyes:
You looked on with optimism after Vatican II… As a toddler?

Sorry, still having a really hard time buying the super secret radical sanation and the “dispensation” to receive the Eucharist while living in mortal sin. Not to mention, such a “devout” man, who learned the rosary before he could read, was sleeping with a pagan woman to whom he was unmarried (to his knowledge) all this time and thought nothing of it?
 
JackieMom said:
:rolleyes:
You looked on with optimism after Vatican II… As a toddler?

Sorry, still having a really hard time buying the super secret radical sanation and the “dispensation” to receive the Eucharist while living in mortal sin. Not to mention, such a “devout” man, who learned the rosary before he could read, was sleeping with a pagan woman to whom he was unmarried (to his knowledge) all this time and thought nothing of it?
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Jackie,
I was 3 when Vatican 2 closed and yes my parents shared thier joy with me over the next ten years or so when to them anything seemed possable for the post Vatican 2 Church.
" still having a really hard time buying the super secret radical sanation" Nothing super secret here Jakie, my mum had just died, and we went and saw the presiding cleric who would be celebreting the requim Mass, my request was being able to recieve the Eucirest
at my mothers funrel, he was the diosces Bishop he interviewed me and my wife, I then had reconciliation, and he gave me his blessing to recieve the Eucarist at my Mothers funeral and there after. I was unaware then that I had recieved Radical Sanation for my marriage but apparently I had.
Jackie I did not ever say that I was devoute I said my parents were devout.

Jackie I know the Church has certain rules that we all must follow, however trying to box Jesus’s love for us, within those rules and make a one size fits all access to Christs love and forgiveness comes very close to the heresy of Donatism and I dont beleive that that is behind the wisdom of the church’s laws.
 
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