Catholic dating protestant or Catholic

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I have a wonderful friend who 30 years ago was a faithful Catholic. She married a protestant guy (nice guy I’d say) who was non observant and generally dismissive of religion, especially Catholic. 30 years of an unrelenting negative and caustic attitude toward the faith has now resulted in a woman whose “religion” is some sort of vague feeling of being “nice” to everyone and everything. Doubt she will ever see the inside of a church again unless something drastic happens.

If you cherish your Catholic religion, be a bit wary of a Protestant partner. Some are wonderful and supportive of the Catholic spouse and his/her wishes (like my own parents), but then there are those who see Catholicism as impeding their own wishes and ambitions.

Good luck
 
I had 23 years of marriage to a Protestant who believed strongly in God/ Jesus but didn’t feel a need to practice any faith.
He was a good husband, a good friend, and a good man. He made me a better person. I never regretted marrying him, or turning down two nominal Catholics and not pursuing things with a third in order to marry him.
Our relationship wasn’t difficult. We were together for 10 years before we married, so 33 years total.
I miss him every day.

I accept that there are other people who get all hung up on a person not being Catholic. I didn’t set out to marry a non-Catholic. I didn’t set out to marry anyone at all. It happened anyway so it must have been God’s plan.
 
I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story. I posted earlier about I’d never marry a non catholic. Your story opened my eyes
 
Like I said, it wasn’t my plan to pick a Protestant. Growing up I don’t think I even knew any Protestants except my dad’s relatives who lived in another state and didn’t go to church or practice their faith much.

But he and his family were accepting of my religion and my mother liked him in spite of his being Protestant. Some of his extended family were also Catholic.
If he or his family had made religion into a big deal, I would have been out the door. I do not like to be stressed.
 
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I think you need someone who supports your faith. My gut feeling is a lukewarm Catholic would have been very detrimental to my faith.
 
My mother (then a Protestant) and father (them a Catholic in name only, by his own admission) divorced after 11 years. My mother took her promise to raise their children Catholic very seriously. Now she is Catholic too.
 
Meh, not a fan of the video. He speaks too much in absolutes, especially when he talks about couples who unprovoked volunteer that if they had to do it over again they would… who does that.

My wife and I have been asked the question before and just laugh… of course we wouldn’t do it different.

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it 1000 times; if my wife would have come here looking for dating/marriage advice we may have missed out on 15 years of marriage (and counting) and 3 fantastic boys.

OP, if you have questions about mixed marriages I’m always available via PM.
 
It’s not as big of deal as some believe/like to believe. We don’t have any issues with our 3 kids.
 
The problem with anecdotes is that they’re, well, anecdotes. Sure, you can find instances of a Catholic being subtly pulled away from the faith by a non-Catholic spouse, but you can find instances of the opposite as well.

My mom was a Protestant when she married my dad, and he never put any pressure on her to join the Church. But gradually, she decided to start RCIA of her own accord, and has now been a Catholic for 30ish years.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
I had 23 years of marriage to a Protestant who believed strongly in God/ Jesus but didn’t feel a need to practice any faith.
He was a good husband, a good friend, and a good man. He made me a better person. I never regretted marrying him, or turning down two nominal Catholics and not pursuing things with a third in order to marry him.
Our relationship wasn’t difficult. We were together for 10 years before we married, so 33 years total.
I miss him every day.
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Great story.

And, as I’ve said before, I see the key as not whether a spouse is Catholic, but whether that person’s okay with the children being raised Catholic.

Mom married a non-Catholic, too, who believed in God but wasn’t affiliated with any church. He was fine with Mom and me being Catholics, though, and was glad that I was at least getting some religious training.

Now, if the non-Catholic in the marriage is some die-hard member of a church that believes Catholics are going to hell, I can see how things might be different.
 
TC3033 said:
It’s not as big of deal as some believe/like to believe. We don’t have any issues with our 3 kids.
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You weren’t the one I was responding to. “Discerningcatholic” was asking for thoughts on what he should do about dating a Protestant, I replied to him with my thoughts.
 
Do you think it would be different if you were very active in your own parish? If you were a Sunday School teacher, an Elder, on the board? If you insisted on attending your parish every Sunday?
 
Now that I think of it idk why I said I’d only date a catholic. I’ve never dated a catholic. I’ve never dated a Protestant. I’ve hardly dated and that was back in high school when pretty much everyone had no faith.

In an ideal world I’d love to be with a catholic. But honestly I’m prob gonna be foreveralone
 
That’s fine. Last time I checked this was an open forum where we’re allowed to reply to any post on it…anywho…since I’m actually in a mixed-marrige I also decided to also reply with my experiences to the issue you brought up.
 
Not for us it wouldn’t. My wife has made comments that I need to find a “church home” and become more active in it. She has no problem with that.

I’d be active at her church as well if I were welcome to.
 
I know you would, and it makes me again say move here, we REALLY need help with RE!!! My musing is more that the studies show kids want to follow dad’s religion, I wonder if you do become more active if the kids will gravitate away from the Catholic faith.
 
You are posing two very valid concerns here. I understand your struggles too.

The first thing I realize you are questioning is whether or not its okay to talk to more than one person at a time. Simply said, it is okay to talk to more than one person at a time as so long as you haven’t committed to someone exclusively. If you are solely talking to the person on CatholicMatch.com but you haven’t talked about being exclusive, not seeing other people, then there is nothing wrong with continuing to talk and go on dates with other people.

The second concern I am picking up on is the fact that the blind date is with a protestant. Interfaith dating/relationships can bring their own complications but every relationship can even those who share the same faith and values. Whether or not you want to meet/date/have a relationship with a non-Catholic (protestant) person is a question only you can answer for yourself.

I personally decided on three qualifications that anyone I would date would have… 1) Practicing Catholic; 2) Bachelors degree or higher education; 3) Family must be very important in his life.

Ultimately the choice is yours. It’s your life and the decisions you make today you will have to live with the rest of your life. Good luck!
 
Not sure how much I’d be helping with RE…with the whole not being Catholic and all. That’s a no-no here.
 
Well, we have non-Catholic spouses as class room helpers, “door monitors” we need about 2 more men and one more woman. The kids meet in the hall then go to classes, come back to the hall where they are picked up. Some parents drop the kids VERY early and/or show up long after dismissal.

Caring adults who will not only keep the kids from running out the door but will engage them are so very important!

We’ve never told a non-Catholic spouse that they are not wanted, heck, they are needed AND wanted.
 
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