Catholic friend chooses not to receive communion

  • Thread starter Thread starter hergratefulchild
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
H

hergratefulchild

Guest
A good friend of mine doesn’t receive communion at mass but her children do. I asked her if she was Catholic and she said yes, then I asked why don’t you receive communion… She said that her belief is that to go to confession for forgiveness of sins doesn’t make sense if she is just going to sin again.

Has anyone had experience of this, I took her number and said I would send her a video or something on the subject that she is open to observing. Any guidance?
 
hergratefulchild said:
Any guidance?
Click to expand...
Jesus knew we would sin after dying for us. Why then did He bother to die for us? Because He loves us. When Peter denied Christ and saw Him again after the resurrection, did he flee from Jesus and say, “I might deny you again, Lord”? Were His sins too great for God to forgive? Are your friend’s? No. Instead Peter told Him that he loved Him. Peter repented. Peter ran, but came back. And that’s what is important about confession. You aren’t required to be perfectly contrite for confession, you’re required to be sorry and want to come back.
 
hergratefulchild said:
A good friend of mine doesn’t receive communion at mass but her children do. I asked her if she was Catholic and she said yes, then I asked why don’t you receive communion… She said that her belief is that to go to confession for forgiveness of sins doesn’t make sense if she is just going to sin again.

Has anyone had experience of this, I took her number and said I would send her a video or something on the subject that she is open to observing. Any guidance?
Click to expand...
Yes. Drop it.

One’s Communion habits are between that person, her confessor/spiritual director, and God alone.

You NEVER ask, for any reason, why they are abstaining from Communion. The fact that you had to ask if the person was Catholic is even more reason your intrusion was out of line; you obviously don’t know her well enough to even prod her on this question. No one ever has to explain to anyone, any time, why she doesn’t receive Communion. What if she had mortal sin on her soul, and for whatever reason could not confess due to moral impossibility? How then could you put her on the spot like that?

Sorry to say it, but your questioning of this person was out of line, and inappropriate.

Drop this subject, and do not bring this up with her again.
 
Last edited:
Her children are altar servers and I do know her very well. I would not have asked if we didn’t have open discussions about our faith. I had to ask if she was Catholic to make the point of why one would not want to receive communion.
 
I agree with this explanation to a point. Do I leave her in a state of mortal sin? The good Samaritan comes to mind.
 
Sometimes I don’t go to daily Mass because of a sin I feel makes me unworthy to receive until I go to confession, my husband told me I shouldn’t do that because the beginning of the mass we confess our sin in order to receive (i forgot the formal name). I’ve always wondered about that.
 
Last edited:
This is for venial sins, I forget the name too

Act of contrition
 
Last edited:
hergratefulchild said:
I agree with this explanation to a point. Do I leave her in a state of mortal sin? The good Samaritan comes to mind.
Click to expand...
Yeah, but not with you asking the question. Perhaps if you find out, or if she broaches the subject, but that’s not a conversation you initiate. There are such words as boundaries and propriety. Not even priests solicit your sins from you; you are the one who walks into the confessional to confess.

The issue I have here is that you poked your nose where you shouldn’t have. One never asks why anyone does not receive Communion, for the reason I gave, and for the simple one that it is just plain rude.
 
I think you are incorrect. We are called to be the voice of Christ and I wasn’t going to push the question more than a passing comment… She could easily say she doesn’t want to talk about it.
 
MarthaSo said:
my husband told me I shouldn’t do that because the beginning of the mass we confess our sin in order to receive (i forgot the formal name). I’ve always wondered about that.
Click to expand...
The general absolution at the beginning of mass covers venial sins and does not meet the requirement when in mortal sin of visiting the sacrament of reconciliation.
 
Last edited:
Even a friend? I must stipulate I was not talking in a bad tone, it was very light hearted and she knew what I was intending.
 
I agree that no one has any business questioning anyone about why they aren’t receiving Communion.

If your friend feels there’s no point in going to confession because she’ll just sin again, there’s room for dialogue - but it should be up to her to initiate. From this thread, I don’t believe you have the tactfulness to bring it up appropriately.

If she has no intention of changing her behavior, she’s right; confession is not appropriate and she should abstain from Communion. If she wants to change but feels it’s futile, that’s entirely different, and she needs encouragement to go to confession often to work through her habitual sins. Many people don’t realize that’s a normal part of the human condition, and the sacrament gives us the grace to make progress even when we can’t entirely “fix” our problem.
 
I am very tactful… Some history is that her daughter and my daughter are in same class and only Catholic children in the school, we talk about faith and about her children’s faith. I talk to her all the time and noticed two years ago that she didn’t receive and we were talking today about the organ player who I had to inform her passed away and funeral was this week. We then spoke about heaven and how he is playing in heaven now. It was then that I gently touched her hand and asked her about communion. We talked about Sundays Gospel where Jesus goes to the gentile town and open the ears of a man and she gladly gave me her number…I didn’t ask for it, she gave it to me.
 
Last edited:
If there is anyone who should ask why we are not receiving Holy Communion it is the parish priest who is responsible for our souls. This has happened to me twice now during weekday Mass with two different priests and less than a minute later I was in the confessional. Those two priests took their calling very seriously and I am glad for it. 😃
 
Are you saying she has not received in two years? Is she aware that a Church precept is that the Eucharist shall be received at least once a year during Easter season at an absolute minimum?
 
Can you believe in transubstantiation without wanting to participate in communion? If I had doubts about it I might. And I have no such doubts. Because of that belief I am eager to participate, to achieve communion with Our Lord.

It’s true that it can be embarrassing to confess our sins but that is part of the price we pay for sinning is it not, of course the greater consequence is separation from God.

Perhaps your friend needs to remember the importance of these things. Is there a leaflet which could be helpful?
 
Last edited:
hergratefulchild said:
A good friend of mine doesn’t receive communion at mass
Click to expand...
I have a similar problem. Considering how some women are dressed, it is difficult for me not to commit the mortal sin of adultery by looking at a woman with lust. Matthew 5:28. My understanding is that it is wrong to receive communion while in mortal sin?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top