Catholic friend chooses not to receive communion

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I agree it’s completely rude but it seems as if the OP had good intentions.
 
hergratefulchild said:
Has anyone had experience of this, I took her number and said I would send her a video or something on the subject that she is open to observing. Any guidance?
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Deep breath, all. The OP has already asked the person and is asking us if we can recommend any videos, etc. Let’s try to help this sister and not chastise.
 
Look, I’m the one on here who’s always saying to everyone “mind your own business” but in this case, the woman is the OP’s good friend AND she does not seem offended and has asked for more information. It’s perfectly okay for the OP to discuss the issue of frequency of confession with her in this situation. If I had a good friend - not just an acquaintance, not just some stranger I see in church, but a Good Friend - who was always at Mass, but never going to Communion, I would gently ask why and if they wanted to tell me to butt out I’d take it in good grace, but it’s a fair question beteen good friends. It would not be okay if it were a more distant relationship.
 
With respect to the OP’s original question:

“Why do I need to go to confession if I’m just going to sin again?”
I would answer that with:

Why do I vacuum the living room? It’s just going to get dusty again.
Why do I brush my teeth? They’re just going to accumulate more food particles when I eat my next meal.
Why do I shower when I know I’m just going to get dirty again?

We do all these things (including confession) because it keeps us more “clean” than if we just let stuff build up into a really big mess. Regular confession keeps our soul clean, fills it with grace and keeps it from drifting too far from God.
And also, just like we feel better when we keep our body and teeth clean and live in a clean environment, we feel better when we keep our soul clean, too.

Also, I looked at a bunch of videos and I think this short one with Fr. Mike is making a good point about why we need confession and how it’s not quite what we think it is.

https://dynamiccatholic.com/beautiful-mercy-program/reflections/why-go-to-confession
 
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Honestly, and I’m not doing it for arguments sake. Their are the realities that to rely on God, Holy Spirit and priests to reach out to a person who doesn’t receive is leaving a person in most cases indefinatley in this state. And I also believe as the early Christians did that we come together as a new family around the table where God is present and to notice someone not receiving and not try and help (gently of course) is a wrong on itself.

I am a catechist of adults and children at my Parish and it is an obvious reality here to that many people that attend Church have a misinterpretation of God, his mercy and the importance of accepting his gifts.
 
the best thing is to explain the sacrament of reconciliation to her.

its about moving back into the love of god. saying YES to God
 
Not necessarily. Maybe they never discussed this stuff before. They could have been building their friendship and just got to this point of inquiry.
 
But it is also possible that her friend is making a prudent choice IF she is activity persisting in mortal sin and not repentant.

We wouldn’t want to be encouraging some to participate in communion if they are not in a state of grace.
 
This is true, but I thought the OP was trying to encourage the friend to go back to confession, not focusing on going to Communion.
Encouraging someone to go to confession regularly is a good thing to do.
 
I would think that IF what we are talking about is unrepentant mortal sin, a meeting with a priest might be fruitful even before confession. She might need help understanding the consequences of her mortally sinful behavior (again, assuming that is what is going on here).

Does that sound reasonable? I’m still learning.
 
The thing is, somebody who is conscious enough of their own sin to refrain from going to Holy Communion, even while they send their kids up to receive and have to field delicate questions from their friends, probably already knows the consequences of bad sins.

If there is some tricky situation in the person’s life that can’t be easily overcome, then maybe a discussion with the priest would help in getting some new insights.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
If there is some tricky situation in the person’s life that can’t be easily overcome, then maybe a discussion with the priest would help in getting some new insights.
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This is what I was thinking about.

I also have thoughts swirling in my head about the impermissibility if partial confessions, but I can’t find a way to articulate it well. Depending on the tricky situation, she might not be able to make a good confession until it is resolved, or she makes up in her mind to stop this sin. Correct?
 
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Yes, if it’s a sin that’s not easily resolvable (let’s say she has a divorced-and-remarried-without-annulment situation) then she might just be stuck and not able to confess if she stays in the marriage, and hence not able to receive.
 
Without a doubt. My friend is remarried without an annulment for her previous marriage. She cannot therefore Commune anymore. She attends Mass alone; same Mass weekly and now has been asked 4 times in 2 years by the well known "gossipy busybodies and she gets extremely upset when she is asked this question.
 
hergratefulchild said:
… She said that her belief is that to go to confession for forgiveness of sins doesn’t make sense if she is just going to sin again.
…
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It is true that without proper disposition one cannot receive absolution. Is that what this person is referring to?

Catechism of the Catholic Church
1490 The movement of return to God, called conversion and repentance, entails sorrow for and abhorrence of sins committed, and the firm purpose of sinning no more in the future. Conversion touches the past and the future and is nourished by hope in God’s mercy.
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Thank you all for your understanding and advice. I will be very delicate in future and if I do raise the topic with my friend, then it will be about faith in general and pray she finds an answer on her own.
 
I would just advise (and pray for her) that she talks with a priest. About it or…in general.
Whatever you say may have no power and probably annoy her. Taking sin, confession and communion seriously is a good thing. About her conclusion to it - she really does need a more spiritual help. Her reasons are bigger than your or ours or any. What she needs is like a personal revelation and personal relief. Only a priest can do that.
 
In this case, the O.P. didn’t even know the phone number of the person described as a good friend.
They didn’t a daily call/ texting friendship here, or even a weekly or monthly call/texting friendship.
Their acquaintanceship is such that one had to take the other’s contact information after broaching a question which assumes a great deal of familiarity.
Perhaps keeping this acquaintance in prayer might be a better option than risking compounding errors.
 
I have friends in this situation also who found their way back to the Church after second marriages.
Abstaining from regular communion is also common with some of the ethnic groups in my area.
In either case, it’s their business. I respect their respect for Our Lord.
May God bless them.
Amen.
 
jeannetherese said:
In this case, the O.P. didn’t even know the phone number of the person described as a good friend.
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Sorry, I don’t buy this argument.
I once described somebody as “my friend” to somebody else and the other person said, “Do you have his phone number? Because I do. I call him every week. If you don’t have his phone number you’re not his friend.”

Aside from this making me want to have the floor open and swallow me up rather than talk any more to that person…there are different forms of friendship and they don’t all depend on calling and texting. I have a whole bunch of good friends I talk to or see regularly and I have the phone numbers for exactly 2 of them. I don’t want or need to have everybody’s number, nor do I have time to talk on the phone or text them. I guess this just means my friendships suck, or else you have a distorted view of friendship.

I ended up talking to my friend from the story above, and got reassured that he did consider me a friend though we did not happen to have exchanged phone numbers for various reasons.
 
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