Catholic guy dating a JW girl.. Please help..

[Busy_bee]

I know what they believe.I researched so many time about their religion and I’ve also so JW friends… .But perhaps they want me to undergo study for me to understand more their faith…

I’m sorry for the way I’m about to sound…
Why are you the one who has to go for the classes? YOU love her enough not to want to lose her, and are willing to do ALMOST ANYTHING!!!

What is she doing so that SHE doesn’t lose YOU???

What, don’t you have parents? You don’t want her to learn and know of the true God? And His son, who is NOT Archangel Michael?

Sorry, the best and slippery option for you is tolerance (the church frowns at this sort of situation and only reluctantly approves the marriage of this sort)

Seriously, I can’t blame the girl or her parents - I would do the same if my daughter was going to marry a non-catholic. My sadness and discomfort is due to the fact that it’s like Truth leaning towards Untruth.

I beg you to be careful, because it is a sin to knowingly put one’s faith in danger by reading/studying materials of a faith contrary to one’s own. What’s more, I’m truly afraid for you because you sound like you would do many things, including acting like you don’t believe what you believe just to be amiable. that attitude spells danger for your faith.
I love you brother and I think I need to pray for you. :sad_yes:
[BIBLEDRB] 2 Corinthians 6:15
[/BIBLEDRB]

 

[Coolhandlukexx]

The trials of marriage are hard enough without an entire cult trying to dominate you and your faith. Keep the commandments and love God first. There are other fish in the sea. This may sound cold and I know you are conflicted, but if she loves you as much as you love her she would not have such a stipulation. Study my religon that you know is wrong and I will marry you! That is unfair, unequal, and not love. Love me for who I am, but change who you are. 3 years of study, probably under their rules, their bible, their people, this does not sound like love. I am married and converted to my wife’s religon (Cathoilc) many years after we were married. She loved me for who I was, and patiently waited for me to find my way. The kicker was this: My children! The wife and kids were going to mass without me, while I sought out other churches and belief systems. One day finally I thought about the example I was setting for them. How could I not be there worshiping with them? Why was I feeling so alone in the random pews I was sitting in? I stumbled into the Catholic church out of love of my family. Are you, knowing the absolute truth that the Catholic church is Gods true church, willing to risk your salvation, and your possible future childrens as well? Be strong! Love God! Have respect for yourself, and recognize true love does not jeopradize your soul.

 

[jnoelbalana14]

I’m sorry for the way I’m about to sound…
Why are you the one who has to go for the classes? YOU love her enough not to want to lose her, and are willing to do ALMOST ANYTHING!!!

What is she doing so that SHE doesn’t lose YOU???

What, don’t you have parents? You don’t want her to learn and know of the true God? And His son, who is NOT Archangel Michael?

Sorry, the best and slippery option for you is tolerance (the church frowns at this sort of situation and only reluctantly approves the marriage of this sort)

Seriously, I can’t blame the girl or her parents - I would do the same if my daughter was going to marry a non-catholic. My sadness and discomfort is due to the fact that it’s like Truth leaning towards Untruth.

I beg you to be careful, because it is a sin to knowingly put one’s faith in danger by reading/studying materials of a faith contrary to one’s own. What’s more, I’m truly afraid for you because you sound like you would do many things, including acting like you don’t believe what you believe just to be amiable. that attitude spells danger for your faith.
I love you brother and I think I need to pray for you. :sad_yes:
[BIBLEDRB]Do not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever
[/BIBLEDRB]

Thank you very much. I’m so depressed and downed at this moment. I fell in love with her so much, so she does to me. She’s always emphasizing that she’s in love with so much…but she loves Jehovah more…

 

[DJK100]

Thank you for your reply. She don’t force me to bible study. She stresses I have the freedom to bible study or not. She tells me that it’ll be a big help to understand her faith more and if I “improve”,then we can be married right away. She tells me that she’ll be waiting for me and she’ll not entertain any suitors while I’m studying…

“… if I improve…” this is classic manipulation.

 

[jnoelbalana14]

The trials of marriage are hard enough without an entire cult trying to dominate you and your faith. Keep the commandments and love God first. There are other fish in the sea. This may sound cold and I know you are conflicted, but if she loves you as much as you love her she would not have such a stipulation. Study my religon that you know is wrong and I will marry you! That is unfair, unequal, and not love. Love me for who I am, but change who you are. 3 years of study, probably under their rules, their bible, their people, this does not sound like love. I am married and converted to my wife’s religon (Cathoilc) many years after we were married. She loved me for who I was, and patiently waited for me to find my way. The kicker was this: My children! The wife and kids were going to mass without me, while I sought out other churches and belief systems. One day finally I thought about the example I was setting for them. How could I not be there worshiping with them? Why was I feeling so alone in the random pews I was sitting in? I stumbled into the Catholic church out of love of my family. Are you, knowing the absolute truth that the Catholic church is Gods true church, willing to risk your salvation, and your possible future childrens as well? Be strong! Love God! Have respect for yourself, and recognize true love does not jeopradize your soul.

Thank you for this helpful advice. I don’t want to risk my soul… I’m planning to talk to her is she’s willing to study the Catholicism. Because if not, then even if we’re so inlove with each other, we have to let each other go…

 

[Busy_bee]

Thank you very much. I’m so depressed and downed at this moment. I fell in love with her so much, so she does to me. She’s always emphasizing that she’s in love with so much…but she loves Jehovah more…

Oh! I feel terrible for you! Have you tried at least, to tell her how you feel exactly, and asked her to try to put herself in your shoes? What did she say?

 

[jnoelbalana14]

“… if I improve…” this is classic manipulation.

Really?..

 

[jnoelbalana14]

Oh! I feel terrible for you! Have you tried at least, to tell her how you feel exactly, and asked her to try to put herself in your shoes? What did she say?

Thanks… I’m going to tell it to her one of these days… She keep on telling me that she loves me… but Jehovah more…

 

[Khalid]

She may be saying she’s in love with you, or even “love bombing” specifically to get you to look at Jehovah’s Witnessism, knowing that if she can make you love her more than God, she can probably convert you - she as well knows that pressuring you will show the true colors, and JWs are the most expert missionaries that I have ever seen. Catholics could stand to learn a great deal from them in that regard.

The tactic is not uncommon in countries from where I am from (Northern-Africa and the Middle-East) for Muslim men to seduce non-Muslim women, and even, in some communities, although is is harshly looked down upon, it is sometimes overlooked when the Muslim woman seduces the non-Muslim man, who has to convert to Islam to marry her, and due to the laws in those countries, she can immediately divorce him with none of the hassle as in America, but he must stay a Muslim, as he now is liable to the death penalty if he openly practices or reverts to his Christian, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist faith.

If you haven’t read my above post before I edited it and expanded it greatly, I suggest you do. I may have a jaded view of these matters, but I believe it is one that needs to be taken in to account - many cultists will resort to tactics that we think unthinkable (such as feigning a relationship) in order to recruit: as another poster said, she’s not going to convert, she would be completely shunned by all of her friends and family if she was to do so or to marry you without you first converting, and, even if not expressed overtly, she does expect you will convert, based on that. That’s why she’s saying “she’ll wait” - if she thinks that it’s hopeless to pull you away from the light and in to the lie of darkness, she’ll stop waiting with a quickness, all else being equal.

 

[Busy_bee]

Thank you guys for your replies… I think she’ll still love me if I say that I don’t believe Christ is not God. However, what she’s emphasizing, I must learn more about her faith through bible study. I don’t think she’s forcing me in any way. She tells me I have the freedom to undergo bible study or not. But she’s telling me that if I can’t understand and accept her faith(which is possible through bible study), we’ll be having problems in the future married life… I’m so confused right now…

Sorry, but that is how “force” goes in love life. She won’t put a gun to your head, but she’ll hold your heart and threaten to throw it off a cliff (that’s what she is in effect doing). If you say yes, then I see a future for us and I’ll marry you, but if you say no, then off the cliff your heart goes. She doesn’t want to hurt you, but she doesn’t want to hurt her parents, her faith, or her children either and in her scale of preference they all come first.

But, I’m not about her, I’m about you. What is your scale of preference like?

 

[DJK100]

Really?..

Yes. She is saying you must change if you want to be with me. She is not giving you that option to decide on your own. Also, it is a “reward” for your change. You get “reward” of her love and her willingness to wait for you. This is called classical conditioning.

This is a helpful and insightful story and advice. Im so downed at this moment… Please pray for me… Also,she is always reminding me that she loves me so much…but she loves Jehovah more…

This is almost word for word what my ex-girlfriend said. If your girl is willing to learn about Catholicism make sure she is sincere about it.

 

[jnoelbalana14]

She may be saying she’s in love with you, or even “love bombing” specifically to get you to look at Jehovah’s Witnessism, knowing that if she can make you love her more than God, she can probably convert you - she as well knows that pressuring you will show the true colors, and JWs are the most expert missionaries that I have ever seen. Catholics could stand to learn a great deal from them in that regard.

The tactic is not uncommon in countries from where I am from (Northern-Africa and the Middle-East) for Muslim men to seduce non-Muslim women, and even, in some communities, although is is harshly looked down upon, it is sometimes overlooked when the Muslim woman seduces the non-Muslim man, who has to convert to Islam to marry her, and due to the laws in those countries, she can immediately divorce him with none of the hassle as in America, but he must stay a Muslim, as he now is liable to the death penalty if he openly practices or reverts to his Christian, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist faith.

If you haven’t read my above post before I edited it and expanded it greatly, I suggest you do. I may have a jaded view of these matters, but I believe it is one that needs to be taken in to account - many cultists will resort to tactics that we think unthinkable (such as feigning a relationship) in order to recruit: as another poster said, she’s not going to convert, she would be completely shunned by all of her friends and family if she was to do so or to marry you without you first converting, and, even if not expressed overtly, she does expect you will convert, based on that. That’s why she’s saying “she’ll wait” - if she thinks that it’s hopeless to pull you away from the light and in to the lie of darkness, she’ll stop waiting with a quickness, all else being equal.

I’m taking into consideration your suggestions and insights. She’s not forcing me to convert… However, she says she loves Jehovah before me… I’m powerless when she said that statement…

 

[Khalid]

“… if I improve…” this is classic manipulation.

The “improve” thing is textbook psychological manipulation bordering on abuse. Unpacked, she is saying, “If you study the Bible * and come to see it the way Jehovah’s Witnesses/I do, I will marry you immediately, so convert quickly, so that you may have my flesh, and my approval which you crave so much, and what you think is my “respect” and my support - and I have laid out a path for you where I tell you that you can obtain these things easily, according to a chart - but if you don’t - be warned, I won’t let you be happy [in reality, I won’t marry you at all, because I would be cut off as surely as if everyone I knew died]”.

The entire thing is predicated on her being sure that she can convert you: either that, or she is willing to risk absolute shunning for you, which doesn’t sound likely, because, if she was, she’d be the one doing the converting to be with you.

Do you think that such a person would actually give respect, for doing nothing other than caving in to manipulative demands? Such is not the foundation of a solid relationship.

I can’t tell whether she’s actually “in love” or “in lust”, or whether she’s feigning it to try and recruit you, but based on the cold calculation of such statements, I lean towards the latter (either that, or she’s a sociopath), as no one “in love” or “in lust” calculates or manipulates such a way, unless they have an ulterior motive or are amoral.

I pray for you, brother, in the Lord, and for her conversion.*

 

[jnoelbalana14]

Sorry, but that is how “force” goes in love life. She won’t put a gun to your head, but she’ll hold your heart and threaten to throw it off a cliff (that’s what she is in effect doing). If you say yes, then I see a future for us and I’ll marry you, but if you say no, then off the cliff your heart goes. She doesn’t want to hurt you, but she doesn’t want to hurt her parents, her faith, or her children either and in her scale of preference they all come first.

But, I’m not about her, I’m about you. What is your scale of preference like?

Brother, i’m yet to ask her… Sometimes I feel that she can’t fight for me,for our relationship…

 

[jnoelbalana14]

Yes. She is saying you must change if you want to be with me. She is not giving you that option to decide on your own. Also, it is a “reward” for your change. You get “reward” of her love and her willingness to wait for you. This is called classical conditioning.

This is almost word for word what my ex-girlfriend said. If your girl is willing to learn about Catholicism make sure she is sincere about it.

Ah. I see… I want to fight for her… but sometimes I doubt if she can fight for me too…

 

[jnoelbalana14]

The “improve” thing is textbook psychological manipulation bordering on abuse. Unpacked, she is saying, “If you study the Bible * and come to see it the way Jehovah’s Witnesses/I do, I will marry you immediately, so convert quickly, so that you may have my flesh, and my approval which you crave so much, and what you think is my “respect” and my support - and I have laid out a path for you where I tell you that you can obtain these things easily, according to a chart - but if you don’t - be warned, I won’t let you be happy [in reality, I won’t marry you at all, because I would be cut off as surely as if everyone I knew died]”.

The entire thing is predicated on her being sure that she can convert you: either that, or she is willing to risk absolute shunning for you, which doesn’t sound likely, because, if she was, she’d be the one doing the converting to be with you.

Do you think that such a person would actually give respect, for doing nothing other than caving in to manipulative demands? Such is not the foundation of a solid relationship.

I can’t tell whether she’s actually “in love” or “in lust”, or whether she’s feigning it to try and recruit you, but based on the cold calculation of such statements, I lean towards the latter (either that, or she’s a sociopath), as no one “in love” or “in lust” calculates or manipulates such a way, unless they have an ulterior motive or are amoral.

I pray for you, brother, in the Lord, and for her conversion.*

Yup, yup… I’ll be praying hard tonight… Thanks alot… Please pray for me and pray with me…

 

[Khalid]

I feel for the situation. It is terrible, and is heartbreaking. I have only begun to realize, that when I dated (and was engaged Islamically) in the past, that every girl I met, even when I was not very religious or “religious in name only”, I asked her on the first meeting if I was not sure, “what is your religion?” And if it wasn’t compatible with mine (either as different, or too pious, often too pious), I let it go - I can not rationally explain why I did, when religion mattered to me so little, but I can only imagine that it was the Holy Spirit guiding me on the path to Christianity, and attempted piety, and away from what could never work, and that God did not have written in the book of my life.

 

[DJK100]

The “improve” thing is textbook psychological manipulation bordering on abuse. Unpacked, she is saying, “If you study the Bible * and come to see it the way Jehovah’s Witnesses/I do, I will marry you immediately, so convert quickly, so that you may have my flesh, and my approval which you crave so much, and what you think is my “respect” and my support - and I have laid out a path for you where I tell you that you can obtain these things easily, according to a chart - but if you don’t - be warned, I won’t let you be happy [in reality, I won’t marry you at all, because I would be cut off as surely as if everyone I knew died]”.*

 

[Busy_bee]

We’re inlove with each other so much… But I know very well the trials… Is there still a way for me to fight for this relationship? She said that she’ll be waiting for me until I understands her faith so much… By that time,we’ll be married… I’m so confused…

Tell her you understand like you said on this thread, that you have read it and don’t agree at all. If she still insists then… I guess you know the answer to that.

 

[jnoelbalana14]

Tell her you understand like you said on this thread, that you have read it and don’t agree at all. If she still insists then… I guess you know the answer to that.

What are you referring she’ll “insist”? Please elaborate brother…