Catholic Meeting/Singles websites

[mommyof4]

No, but I’m married!

 

[Sierrah]

Great for all those who found internet dating work for them. For me well I’m still single. I was on AvaMaria singles for awhile but only got responses from Canada I never could figure that one out since I live in the Mid West nowhere near Canada.
I guess the best thing you can do is leave it to God. Then there’s also the old saying that God helps those who help themselves…I still think it’s a numbers game.

 

[KGM06]

Aww… very sweet!

Now hopefully she doesn’t frequent CAF and you didn’t ruin the surprise.

Thanks
But she already knows I bought the ring, just not what type or style.
we been ring window shopping together before. Last time I saw her she asked if I bought one, even for simply the surprise factor, I couldnt white-lie to her and say otherwise. eventually she would see the reciept, and with her memory, would know immediatly.

I dont think she visits this site, at least she hasnt mentioned it. I remember a ring she was all goo goo over at Samuels Jewelry, but found a similar ring, better cut, and price, at Crecent.

 

[February]

just a note on AMS…

it’s true that the membership fee is a one-time fee, and there is a student rate. however, i contacted them and said that i couldn’t afford the regular member rate at the time i registered (due to personal reasons), and they gave me the student discount.

 

[Norseman82]

I find that statistic a little hard to believe for several reasons. 1. eharmony hasn’t been around long enough to really get a good feel for what the long term success of its relationships will be (The site is only 7 years old). 2. It actually tries to match people based on religion, values, interests etc. It seems unlikely to me that relatively compatible people would have their marriages fail so quickly. 3. E-Harmony, like any online site can only introduce you to people. The actual relationship has to be built by you and the choice to proceed to marriage needs to be made by both people in the relationship. I might ultimately believe that success rate of eharmony relationships is no greater than random relationships, but I would have a hard time believing the failure rate is 35% higher than meeting someone at random.

I am not dating my Mom . Seriously though, at the Mass I normally attend (Usually with my parents, since they usually go to that Mass), there simply are not that many people my age there and fewer of them are single and alas none of them are people I am attracted to.

–
Bill

re eharmony’s divorce rate, i would love to hear where you saw that or from what diocesan official you heard it from…while it might be true it seems hard to believe anyone outside of that particular site would know that, let alone the site itself…most of the time we are lucky if we hear feedback from the couples at all…

fyi, for those interested CatholicSingles.com is the only true Catholic singles site that is a member of the Better Business Bureau’s online program…

you can always lookup a business with them using the bbbonline.org site…

It was from one of the directors of family ministries for the Chicago archdiocese. She quoted it at a theology on tap last summer. And although I don’t have the statistics that she quoted from available in written or electronic format, I do recall her mentioning that the high divorce rate was within the first few years.

 

[Norseman82]

Really? That boggles the mind.? If you don’t mind my asking … how old are you? If you live in the US, the chances of meeting a like-minded devout Catholic in your age group who is intellectually and spiritually compatible are… well … slim. My boyfriend at church is 87 years-old. I hope he is looking for a younger woman.

Personally, it boggles my mind that people such as yourself *assume *those who sign up for online services are ignoring the people next to them in the pews.

Given your comments on other threads about how you want to start a *“revolt of the 40-year-old virgins who are sick and tired of being jerked around”, *I can only assume that you paid due attention to the people setting next to you in the pew, and came up empty-handed.

Now do you see why people are interested in online dating?

I’ll tell you where I’m coming from with this.

I can understand if one lives somewhere remote like in northern Alaska or rural Utah where there is not an overabundance of Catholic spouseabile (if I may borrow and modify the term papabile). However, I live in Chicago, not in a remote area, and I can only attest to what I’ve seen personally. I’ve seen personally where I’ve been told “we don’t have enough in common”. OK. Fair enough; that goes to the compatibility issue, which I will deal with later. But I even ask “what are you looking for” and even state that I might be able to “grease the skids” regarding meeting my friends (mainly by inviting her to the young adult events at the local Opus Dei parish, mind you!), and even propose some group outings where I invite some of my friends and she brings some of hers. So in this situation, when this very same person talks about signing up for an online dating service and ignoring a safe, Catholic group outing, well, I’m sorry, I have to shake my head because it doesn’t make sense.

Now do you see why my brain hurts?

And as far as compatibility is concerned, I’m not looking for a carbon copy of myself. I have no illusions that we will have different interests, but as long as what we don’t have in common is minor and not going to cause problems, I’m OK with that.

 

[JezuUfamTobie]

Norseman,

Here’s a plausible reason for a situation like the one you describe. I’m rather logical-minded and introverted, and after spending time with many nice young men, local and otherwise (plus a lot of prayer), I’ve realized I really need someone like myself in this way. I just don’t understand highly sociable people and I feel like they don’t understand me, either.

People who hang out in a young adult singles group at their local parish are signing up to out to dance, windsurf, or laugh it up at the local pub. While they’re nice people, they are all extremely unlikely to be the kind of man who would be compatible with me.

Now, if the man making eyes at me after mass last week ever cares to come up and start a conversation, I’ll certainly respond. But statistically speaking, I think I’m more likely to come across my future spouse on the internet, so I’m not going out of my way to join parish groups which tend to be populated with the type of charismatic, outspoken, extraverted fellows in whom I am not interested.

 

[Norseman82]

Now, if the man making eyes at me after mass last week ever cares to come up and start a conversation, I’ll certainly respond.

Alternatively, you could initiate a conversation with a simple “Hi” or a smile. He may be an introvert, too, and that could be an inviting gesture (at least to me) and if he is shy, he may need that invitation and it could give a boost to his self-confidence.

 

[JezuUfamTobie]

Alternatively, you could initiate a conversation with a simple “Hi” or a smile. He may be an introvert, too, and that could be an inviting gesture (at least to me) and if he is shy, he may need that invitation and it could give a boost to his self-confidence.

Good point!

 

[sacredcello]

I finally worked up the nerve to join Ave Maria Singles a few weeks ago and posted a profile. I cried because there was only one fellow in the whole country that seemed attractive and interesting to me! I sent him a message several days ago, but he still has not opened it. Anyone out there have experience with this? Is there sometimes a lengthy wait before people get around to opening your message and getting back to you?

Thanks!

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Yes. I’ve been on for about 2.5 years now. And it’s not easy being a female there. And this just doesn’t go for AMS.

There are people who consider me too old.

There are people who won’t consider me at all because I’ve been married before (though I have an annulment, which in theory means I wasn’t married in the eyes of the Church, right?)

There are people who I’m sure ignore me because I have children.
All the guys there want “as many children as God will allow.”

Hold the phone there, pal. This store is about closed. So that puts me out of the range of my peers, because they all have been doing exactly WHAT for the last 15 to 20 years? And NOW they want to settle down and have children? I’m getting mine through high school and into college now!

But it’s okay because my peers pick a preference for women in their early 30s. The guys that want MY demographic are in their 50s. From the Canadian shoreline.

One guy from somewhere is in his 60s and is looking for a woman to start a family with.

Oy vey!

It’s a bit frustrating. But I’ve had some interesting conversations with some really nice people. I just haven’t expanded it to personal emails off the site.

My kids signed me up for Eharmony behind my back. They filled out the profile as they saw me. (Which might be pretty close to the truth, as they see it…)

No answers there, really. But I put some really harsh questions up front to weed out the players. (Like: What are your views on premarital sex?) Hey… if they don’t agree with me, let’s find out now. No takers.

I’m getting the feeling I’m going to be alone for a good long time.



It’s a real good thing I find my company quite amusing. And I’m never bored. And I’m not as lonely as when I was married.

So that’s my experience with those sites. Sometimes I wish I could see what the competition is like with the other women. But they don’t let you do that.

 

[dulcissima]

Personally, it boggles my mind that many of the people who sign up for online dating will ignore the people sitting right next to them in the pew. I think we need to spend less time behind the screens and more time in personal contact.

You know, there is this single guy at my church, who usually sits somewhere near me. He’s been saying “hi” a bunch, and the last two Sundays actually leaning over from two pews away to offer his hand during the sign of peace. It’s not like he isn’t a nice looking guy or anything, but I just haven’t been giving him any encouragement because what do you really know about someone just from seeing them at church? At least with the internet you know their thoughts and views on a lot of issues. You sort of get to know someone from the inside out. Which for me is a little more comfortable.

Still, I’m not at the signing up for online dating point yet.

 

[sacredcello]

Yes. I’ve been on for about 2.5 years now. And it’s not easy being a female there. And this just doesn’t go for AMS.

There are people who consider me too old.

There are people who won’t consider me at all because I’ve been married before (though I have an annulment, which in theory means I wasn’t married in the eyes of the Church, right?)

There are people who I’m sure ignore me because I have children.
All the guys there want “as many children as God will allow.”

Hold the phone there, pal. This store is about closed. So that puts me out of the range of my peers, because they all have been doing exactly WHAT for the last 15 to 20 years? And NOW they want to settle down and have children? I’m getting mine through high school and into college now!

But it’s okay because my peers pick a preference for women in their early 30s. The guys that want MY demographic are in their 50s. From the Canadian shoreline.

One guy from somewhere is in his 60s and is looking for a woman to start a family with.

Oy vey!

It’s a bit frustrating. But I’ve had some interesting conversations with some really nice people. I just haven’t expanded it to personal emails off the site.

My kids signed me up for Eharmony behind my back. They filled out the profile as they saw me. (Which might be pretty close to the truth, as they see it…)

No answers there, really. But I put some really harsh questions up front to weed out the players. (Like: What are your views on premarital sex?) Hey… if they don’t agree with me, let’s find out now. No takers.

I’m getting the feeling I’m going to be alone for a good long time.



It’s a real good thing I find my company quite amusing. And I’m never bored. And I’m not as lonely as when I was married.

So that’s my experience with those sites. Sometimes I wish I could see what the competition is like with the other women. But they don’t let you do that.

Thanks for the heads up!

I also have an anulment, and I wondered if men would judge me for that. That’s ok. I don’t want to be with someone with a closed heart, anyway. Been there, done that!

Hmmm. Well, the guy I emailed still hasn’t opened my message, so he can’t judge what he doesn’t know about!

I feel fairly confident about my physical appearance (I was 1st runner-up in a beauty pageant some years ago), but the men I meet in every day life are usually drawn to me for that reason alone. They also aren’t Catholic. So, there is the reason for AMS membership, so men can get to know who I am first and not just my looks. However, they might see “divorced” and not even open my profile!

Thanks for your insight and all the best to you!

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Oh, great. The competition is beauty queens. That’s what I was afraid of. Thanks for the heads up, yourself!

 

[goofyjim]

I’ve only posted with AMS but am frustrated that they keep on sending an email saying I have to login every 30 days or my account will be deactivated. Sort of false advertising when they say it is a one time donation. If it only requires a one time donation they should keep your account activated whether you check in or not.

 

[sacredcello]

I’ve only posted with AMS but am frustrated that they keep on sending an email saying I have to login every 30 days or my account will be deactivated. Sort of false advertising when they say it is a one time donation. If it only requires a one time donation they should keep your account activated whether you check in or not.

I am a new member, so haven’t yet got the ins and outs of AMS.

However, I thought that they had a feature in which you can make your profile inactive for a time, say, if you are in a relationship? Then, you can reactivate your profile later if you want to?

 

[michrist1024]

Here’s a plug for Catholicsingles

For what it’s worth. I was on the site briefly fall of 2002…interesting dialogue…helped me out of my post divorce slump (1993) but no real connections. Came back a few mos later in 2003 and met some “less than Catholic…or I should say in Catholic name only” guys…sick of it…I gave it up for what I thought would be good in the summer 2003. Went through major life changes, (dad passing away, seeing passion of the Christ) and really was moved to further my spiritual walk. My priest used to always say to me “seek first the kingdom all else will follow” never understood that until now.

Fast forward to July 2005, joined again basically b/c I was bored and inbetween pre req’s for nursing school classes. So I emailed a guy who “spoke to me” in that what he enjoyed about God’s magnificent artwork and cloud formations…seems simple but it spoke to me. Since he had a 50 mile radius I figure it was not the right time…but mind you the important thing is I had now found peace “seeking first the kingdom” I was on God’s path and following his will not really looking for that “someone” figuring God would place him in my life during my time as a nurse…or possibly not at all…perhaps I was to remain single to meet the needs of future patients…perhaps I’d meet him at 60yr…again not my call…God’s call. Anyway when I sent the email I commended him on his profile that not many have an appreciation for the small things in life and I wished him well on his quest. He emailed me back the next day and we went off line about 2 days later and the rest is pretty much history…We married Jan 2006. We’ve yet to send Catholic Singles our story but we keep meaning to. It’s the picture part that is getting hung up…we have our story written.

We dropped our accounts about 2 weeks after the first email…spoke on the phone about 3 weeks…planned to meet about 5 or so weeks after the first email…but here’s the thing many could be wary about…we just “knew” …I mean we really knew this was the person the other person had needed and wanted in their life without knowing that it’s possible. He exceeds anything or anyone I could have dreamed about…but of course b/c he’s from God.

I owned a home that was is great need of roof repair and it just so happens he is a carpenter/restoration specialist…but it was his strong morals and code of ethics that I really fell in love with…I say this b/c some of you feel you must join a pricey site to weed out the wierdos…I have heard more horror stories from eharmony.

Also, from the beginning I laid it on the line where I stood with things. i.e. I told him upfront that I would not have premarital relations as much as this world and as I found MANY Catholics think it’s okay…and perhaps silly for me b/c I already had a child…I came to the belief before even rejoining that in no way was I going to turn myself into a pretzel for someone else and discard my beliefs/values.

So I’m saying be true to yourself with God at the helm. If some of you are horrified by coming right out and saying what you will or will not tolerate…then fine that’s “you” and God knows and understand that…he created you after all…but don’t lose yourself in wondering “what about this and what about that” that’s the beauty of our marriage…I never have to wonder “what is he thinking” does he mean this or that"? Our communication is really wonderful…b/c God planned our meeting. I should have mentioned he relocated to Pa. from Wi. with very few obstacles. Orig we were going to need to wait until his daughter graduated, however God took things in a different direction and we were able to bump up the wedding following his plan.

Why the rush you may ask…well it’s sort of at our age (42/50) when you know you just know…and when you know we just wanted to start “our” lives as soon as possible. I little over a year later and we couldn’t be happier. My son who is 14 has blossomed even more (he always had a strong faith…even more than ever could have at his age) b/c his bio father isn’t really there for him, shortly after returning from our honeymoon he called DH “dad” and it continues to grow and bound.

My point I guess is first seek the kingdom (I get that now!) and all else will follow…Like I said i was on my own for a little over 12 years from marriage to DH, but if I had to take every step to now be with him it was all worth it…however I do wish I would have met him sooner, but that wouldn’t have been possible since he was raising his daughter on his own since she was 10yrs (bio mother walked out) and I had to find God’s plan (nursing)…Let go and let God.

Yes, there are many oddballs are probably any site…but put Christ at the center of all your decisions and you can’t possibly go wrong…hmmm now why can’t I take my own advice in different aspects of my spirtual struggles!!!

God bless,
Michele

 

[NewUlm1976_2000]

Met my fiancee on CatholicMatch.com, she also had a profile with picture up.

 

[jc-servant]

I finally worked up the nerve to join Ave Maria Singles a few weeks ago and posted a profile. I cried because there was only one fellow in the whole country that seemed attractive and interesting to me! I sent him a message several days ago, but he still has not opened it. Anyone out there have experience with this? Is there sometimes a lengthy wait before people get around to opening your message and getting back to you?

Thanks!

Some people never respond, so don’t take it personally. Also try not to get your feelings hurt if they don’t want to get to know you better. There are some men on that site who give a wide range of ages for women and then say things like they want someone younger who can give them biological children. It can be upsetting for someone to assume that age equals fertility and then for them to be rude enough to say it.

I only wrote at length with one man from the site and I wish that he had just said “no thanks” before I met him. I invited him to meet at mass for our 1st meeting and he managed to show up quite late and then insult my parish and my choir (which I was in) within the first few sentences out of his mouth. I also discovered when I saw him that his photo was clearly at least 30 pounds lighter and who knows how many years younger. I decided “good riddance” and moved on.

I know that there are decent, polite men out there who are not looking for someone 15-20 years younger, so I have hope for all of us faithful Catholic women who have discerned marriage as our vocation.

 

[chevalier]

You know, there is this single guy at my church, who usually sits somewhere near me. He’s been saying “hi” a bunch, and the last two Sundays actually leaning over from two pews away to offer his hand during the sign of peace. It’s not like he isn’t a nice looking guy or anything, but I just haven’t been giving him any encouragement because what do you really know about someone just from seeing them at church? At least with the internet you know their thoughts and views on a lot of issues. You sort of get to know someone from the inside out. Which for me is a little more comfortable.

Still, I’m not at the signing up for online dating point yet.

You never get a full package of knowledge. To have known someone, you need to get to know him. There’s always a start. You may just want to talk to that one. Doesn’t mean it creates any obligations or anything.