Catholic Meeting/Singles websites

[sacredcello]

Some people never respond, so don’t take it personally. Also try not to get your feelings hurt if they don’t want to get to know you better. There are some men on that site who give a wide range of ages for women and then say things like they want someone younger who can give them biological children. It can be upsetting for someone to assume that age equals fertility and then for them to be rude enough to say it.

I only wrote at length with one man from the site and I wish that he had just said “no thanks” before I met him. I invited him to meet at mass for our 1st meeting and he managed to show up quite late and then insult my parish and my choir (which I was in) within the first few sentences out of his mouth. I also discovered when I saw him that his photo was clearly at least 30 pounds lighter and who knows how many years younger. I decided “good riddance” and moved on.

I know that there are decent, polite men out there who are not looking for someone 15-20 years younger, so I have hope for all of us faithful Catholic women who have discerned marriage as our vocation.

Dear JC Servant,

Wow, I’m sorry that you had that experience. Did the guy seem nice and polite in his emails, but then turn out to be different in person?

I’m actually quite surprised that my age (I’m 37) or my divorced/annuled status would cause someone to be so rude as to not respond to an email on Ave Maria Singles. I thought it was supposed to be a place to meet good Catholics, not arrogant ones!

Well, I guess this is a wake-up call. So far, I’ve only received one email from a guy who is 12 years older than me. I at least had the decency to tell him that I thought the age difference between us was too great.

I’m sad that there is really only the one fellow who interests me, that he lives 2,000 miles away and that he didn’t write back. I suppose I could try him again in a few months, because the message I wrote to him was very short.

Yes, I am still hopeful for us “older” Catholic women. God would not place the desire in our hearts, if there wasn’t someone for us, right?

God bless you!

 

[Liberanosamalo]

If it’s God’s will, someone will come along. But yes, there are men who will not even accept emails from divorced/annulled women.

My feeling is, they want women who claim they can take care of a home and family and even want to, but they weed out the people who have actually walked the walk. I was married to a virgin chaser, so I know the type. Who needs it!

Oh well. Their loss. I personally think I’m a lot more interesting and enjoyable to be around than I was 10 years ago.

 

[chevalier]

What do you mean virgin chasers? Do you mean non-virginal men chasing virgins or do you imply it’s wrong to want to marry a virgin only or primarily?

 

[Liberanosamalo]

I mean non-virgin men who are obsessed with only being with virgins. Probably the same guys who when they were kids had fun walking around in the neighborhood after a snowfall and stepping in everyone’s perfect snow.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

And even if a guy wanted a virgin only… what’s with that? Is a woman who has only been with one man in her whole life less “pure” than some VINO who has been with many guys and done “everything but.”

 

[dulcissima]

If it’s God’s will, someone will come along. But yes, there are men who will not even accept emails from divorced/annulled women.

My feeling is, they want women who claim they can take care of a home and family and even want to, but they weed out the people who have actually walked the walk. I was married to a virgin chaser, so I know the type. Who needs it!

Oh well. Their loss. I personally think I’m a lot more interesting and enjoyable to be around than I was 10 years ago.

Don’t you think it’s rather nice that the self-absorbed type have weeded themselves out? I think it makes it kind of increases the odds that when some guy who is genuine and pure of heart shows up, that you might just take notice of him.

 

[Norseman82]

I mean non-virgin men who are obsessed with only being with virgins. Probably the same guys who when they were kids had fun walking around in the neighborhood after a snowfall and stepping in everyone’s perfect snow.

Agreed about the non-virgin males - that is pure hypocrisy.

But what is wrong with a male virgin looking for a female virgin?

 

[Fidelia]

But what is wrong with a male virgin looking for a female virgin?

nothing. and nothing is wrong vice-versa either.

 

[chevalier]

And even if a guy wanted a virgin only… what’s with that? Is a woman who has only been with one man in her whole life less “pure” than some VINO who has been with many guys and done “everything but.”

Please. I understand that you have a problem with their choice, but there is more to the spectrum than virtuous non-virgins and slutty technical virgins. People who are virgins themselves have the right to expect the same from potential partners if that’s important to them. I’m against holding people forever to repented mistakes, but I don’t like virginity being discounted or posed as something ridiculous or irrelevant.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Chevalier, I am the last person to denigrate virginity. Really. You misread my post if you think that is what I am saying. I saved myself for marriage. But I know there are now people out there who will completely discount me because they want a virgin. And I’m just saying there are technical virgins who are not really as chaste as some people who have followed the spirit of the law and not just the technical letter of the law.

Yes, anyone who has saved themself has the right to marry someone else who has done the same. But I think there is a bigger picture that is being ignored when they do.

 

[Fidelia]

i think the important thing is, not only if someone is a virgin but if they recognize what is right and wrong. There are people who are virgins and are waiting to be ‘in love’, but who do not believe that sex has to be within marriage. they are simply waiting until the feel in love with someone (rather than casually hooking up) but that just goes for any future relationship that they have.
So what’s better? a person who did something wrong and now realizes it and won’t do it again, or the person who is only remaining a virgin for a reason of convenience or something rather than morality?
eta: my former boyfriend did not care about sexual morality, and thought sex was fine as long as you are “in love” with the person. But he did respect the fact that i did not want tot have sex, and we never did. But i was still really unhappy about the fact that it was completely fine with him ad he didn’t care about being married. Once he actually did say that he wished he had waited until he met me, but that still doesn’t mean he wishes he had waited until marriage. Make sense?

 

[StratusRose]

I met my husband on Catholic Singles!

 

[Convert_in_99]

I never checked them out. A sweet, darling, loving protestant gentleman stole my heart first.

I did suggest posting a profile (slightly incomplete) I wouldn’t post any info such as telephone number, address, or anything that might wind someone unwanted at your door, or giving you scary phone calls at all hours. It’s Catholic, but it’s got creeps just like the rest.

Also, I wouldn’t post a picture at first. Maybe to the person you wind up dating, but not a photo for just anyone to see. It’s so easy to copy your photo and use it for a fake ID, or other bad things.

Just a word from the wise…meaning…been there done that…couldn’t pay me to put myself through it again.

Hope you find who you are looking for. And one more thing, while you are on this singles site, don’t be oblivious to the world around you. Your future spouse might be in stranger, more obvious places than you’d expect. My husband and I met at the computer lab of our college!

 

[Godfollower]

Dear JC Servant,

Wow, I’m sorry that you had that experience. Did the guy seem nice and polite in his emails, but then turn out to be different in person?

I’m actually quite surprised that my age (I’m 37) or my divorced/annuled status would cause someone to be so rude as to not respond to an email on Ave Maria Singles. I thought it was supposed to be a place to meet good Catholics, not arrogant ones!

Well, I guess this is a wake-up call. So far, I’ve only received one email from a guy who is 12 years older than me. I at least had the decency to tell him that I thought the age difference between us was too great.

I’m sad that there is really only the one fellow who interests me, that he lives 2,000 miles away and that he didn’t write back. I suppose I could try him again in a few months, because the message I wrote to him was very short.

Yes, I am still hopeful for us “older” Catholic women. God would not place the desire in our hearts, if there wasn’t someone for us, right?

God bless you!

So, hypothetically speaking, what if, say, the guy were, oh, let’s just pick a random number here, I guess, shucks, around maybe 42 years old?
:blushing:

 

[chevalier]

@Liberanosamalo: Sorry, must have jumped to conclusions then. Of course, some bigger picture is ignored, especially when we’re talking about people who have been married. I guess some people would even discount a raped person who had had no consensual sex ever, as well. Their loss. The person’s better off without them.

@Fidelia: If they want to wait until something or wait for someone, rather than having casual sex, because of rejection of casual sex, that motivation is still moral, so they aren’t necessarily waiting for reasons different from morality.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

I just wanted to say that I met my wife on Ave Maria Single Catholics Online. We both found it to be a great place to meet others from the opposite sex that were very honest about their faith. For me, it was nice to be able to read her profile and learn so much about her and her faith in the profile. We are happily married and expecting baby #4 soon! And she, like me, is addicted to CAF.

 

[sacredcello]

So, hypothetically speaking, what if, say, the guy were, oh, let’s just pick a random number here, I guess, shucks, around maybe 42 years old?
:blushing:

I would say that 42 is within range, hypothetically speaking, of course.

So, are you a member of AMS???

 

[Godfollower]

I would say that 42 is within range, hypothetically speaking, of course.

So, are you a member of AMS???

No, I’m not. That’s actually why I’ve been reading this thread: to get opinions about Ave Maria Singles and Catholic Singles (and any others that might be out there).

 

[sacredcello]

No, I’m not. That’s actually why I’ve been reading this thread: to get opinions about Ave Maria Singles and Catholic Singles (and any others that might be out there).

Well, my profile is on AMS, if you wish to read more about me. I didn’t go with Catholic Match, because it seemed too casual a forum…I also didn’t want my picture up there for just anyone to scroll through. .

Anyway, there are quite an amazing number of success stories on the AMS site which you can read about without joining. There’s also a book recently published about it.

Good day!

 

[Godfollower]

Well, my profile is on AMS, if you wish to read more about me. I didn’t go with Catholic Match, because it seemed too casual a forum…I also didn’t want my picture up there for just anyone to scroll through. .

Anyway, there are quite an amazing number of success stories on the AMS site which you can read about without joining. There’s also a book recently published about it.

Good day!

And who wouldn’t want to read more about you, I ask?

I see what you mean about Catholic Match; I just went onto that site, and poof! I had very specific information – including pictures and logon activity – immediately available, without even signing up for the service. (But what do you mean by it being too casual? As in “not looking for marriage” or as in “not serious about being Catholic”?).

I’ve taken a look at Ave Maria Singles, and my initial reaction is that I’m not sure I agree with their don’t-worry-about-geography requirement. They seem to be pretty serious about it, even directing men not to ask women in whom they’re interested about where they’re from. I would have a serious problem relocating for someone I was dating; my licenses are geographic, and it would mean starting over in my career at the least. Even in the real world I’ve bumped into “geographically undesirable” women, where the commute to meet them would mean hours spent in rush hour traffic. So there are issues with the site. On the other hand, AMS is clearly not a hook-up site, and it should result in religiously compatible matches, unlike some other sites I could name. Plus, with SacredCello as a member, it can’t be all bad!

Catholic Singles seems promising, in that the searches allow selectivity based on some useful common issues: smoking, pets, use of money, etc. – beyond merely can-you-marry-in-the-church questions. On the other hand (and it may be just my interpretation here), it seems like there are a lot of less-orthodox members, though at least that’s one category you can use when searching (“as a Catholic I am … conservative / liberal / moderate / etc.”).

With both Ave Maria Singles and Catholic Singles, I ran into a pet peeve of mine: I had to search for a while before finding the price (not that price is really that much of an issue; it’s just that the cynic in me gets riled when that sort of thing isn’t easily found). Catholic Match appears to be free, though that may just be more poor price communication.

As you might have guessed, I’ve never used an online dating service, and I’m still interested in people’s opinions about the various sites. Clearly they all have success stories, so I guess it’s just a matter of getting into my comfort zone.