M
MBF
Guest
In another thread some time ago I explained how my wife was a non-practicing Buddhist when we married, then became “born-again” in that faith soon after we had our three little gifts from God. At first things were amiable, and I listened to her patiently while she went on about the Four Truths, reincarnation, karma, etc. (BTW, the deacon assigned to us for pre-marriage counselling told us that if she would not be Catholic, then she should at least be a good Buddhist). Later, her personality took over and she began essentially to slam Christianity, threatening divorce so she could raise the kids her way, and questioning my intelligence for believing in the basic tenants of my faith. Over the last year or two this behavior has simmered to only occasional outbursts and she was less resistant to my efforts to get the kids to church and CCD. Due to her outbursts, I did not inform her when our son received First Communion last year and that the girls are on track to receive this coming May. For me, this alone was an achievement.
We are now facing a transition. She is the primary breadwinner due to the salary her occupation provides, and she found employment in another city four hours away. I agreed to this decision since it is in a place where my family could provide support. In fact, she is living with my parents at this time. We intend to complete our move when the children are out of public school this year. Once we move, our routine for the kids will have to be reorganized. Hence the new problems:
*She desires for the children to start learning meditation in the temple in the new city.
*She desires for the children (especially our son) to learn Shaolin Kung Fu specifically at that temple ostensibly to learn self-defense, but more exposure to the temple is also intended.
*She wants our son to drop out of the Cub Scouts and soccer to accommodate these changes.
*She is beginning to regret the move, since my parents and I outnumber her and will do whatever we want and she won’t have a say in matters of raising her children (her words, not my sentiment).
As long as the children can continue their obligations to the Catholic faith, I have no issues with dropping Cub Scouts and soccer. I have no issues with the kids learning Vietnamese (though I prefer this would be at a church rather than the temple). If I am convinced that temple activities would not interfere with the maturation of the children’s Catholic faith, then I would reluctantly allow them to be exposed to their mother’s faith tradition. If I am convinced that Shaolin Kung Fu martial arts practices do not contradict the faith, then I would reluctantly allow this (am thinking I could be more receptive to Brazilian ju-jitsu).
Lots of if’s. Would divide it into separate threads, but it all comes down to my relationship with my wife. As long as the kids’ growth in the faith is not impaired, I could bend to any of these things. Suggestions on any of these matters is appreciated. God Bless You.
We are now facing a transition. She is the primary breadwinner due to the salary her occupation provides, and she found employment in another city four hours away. I agreed to this decision since it is in a place where my family could provide support. In fact, she is living with my parents at this time. We intend to complete our move when the children are out of public school this year. Once we move, our routine for the kids will have to be reorganized. Hence the new problems:
*She desires for the children to start learning meditation in the temple in the new city.
*She desires for the children (especially our son) to learn Shaolin Kung Fu specifically at that temple ostensibly to learn self-defense, but more exposure to the temple is also intended.
*She wants our son to drop out of the Cub Scouts and soccer to accommodate these changes.
*She is beginning to regret the move, since my parents and I outnumber her and will do whatever we want and she won’t have a say in matters of raising her children (her words, not my sentiment).
As long as the children can continue their obligations to the Catholic faith, I have no issues with dropping Cub Scouts and soccer. I have no issues with the kids learning Vietnamese (though I prefer this would be at a church rather than the temple). If I am convinced that temple activities would not interfere with the maturation of the children’s Catholic faith, then I would reluctantly allow them to be exposed to their mother’s faith tradition. If I am convinced that Shaolin Kung Fu martial arts practices do not contradict the faith, then I would reluctantly allow this (am thinking I could be more receptive to Brazilian ju-jitsu).
Lots of if’s. Would divide it into separate threads, but it all comes down to my relationship with my wife. As long as the kids’ growth in the faith is not impaired, I could bend to any of these things. Suggestions on any of these matters is appreciated. God Bless You.
