Catholic School not a choice

[1990Domer]

This is another interesting discussion that is leading me to thank God for our Catholic parish school. My son has autism. He receives a special plan similar to an IEP but not a legally binding document, which is not shared outside the resource office. It provides him with the support he needs in school and to help him with homework etc. The local public school has child find and through them we can access occupational therapy. We have the best of both, truthfully.

But to get to the OP’s question- if it came to pass that the Catholic education we are happy with now wasn’t fitting his needs, we would certainly look at other options. I’d be less likely to choose another Christian school, though. Here in the South there are a lot of non denominational Christian schools and it would be confusing for my overly literal Aspie kid to try to understand the differences. But if the public school would be better, we’d look into it.

However, based on the experiences of the moms in my ASD group in town, it’s a lot more frustrating in the huge school system to be another cog in the system, compared to one of only about ten Aspies/autistic kids at our 400 child Catholic school. Instead of waiting weeks for an IEP meeting that is stressful and confrontational, we have friendly chats about what is best for my kiddo this year. It’s all new, last year was less formal while we were in the diagnosis process, but other families have shared it really is that straightforward. We are blessed to live here, and to be able to pay tuition.

I wish the Catholic schools in my diocese cared about the autistic kids who wished to attend (and were mainstreamed with few supports). As far as extra academic help, we were told the resource teacher was overtaxed and that the local county services were insufficient to meet the needs of all the kids. Honestly, I had to do an immense amount of teacher education of what an invisible disability was…teachers had no training on spectrum kids. Even after an in-service workshop, they seemed just as clueless.

This school has 178 (fewer now) kids and is struggling to stay open. There was a zero discipline policy, so my kid had pot shots taken at him all the time. The rumors started about him were vicious. The other Aspie kid was also bullied. Why his mom chose to keep him there is beyond me, but she did not seek out or keep up with her son’s performance in school. She was more ticked off about where the fund-raising money was applied.

I was also sad when I received an e-mail about supporting Catholic schools…so much so that I called our archdiocese. I’m not sure they care, given the attitude of many of the schools I interviewed for my son.

In any event, I am taking this all in and it is allowing me to put together a better talk about compassion to kids with invisible disabilities.

Personally, rather than always helping far flung countries, I would like to see more resources put into Catholic schools so they can accept ALL of God’s children and make the students more compassionate to those students who have greater crosses to bear. Sadly, it won’t happen in my lifetime without a large scale change taking place.

I’m glad you had a better experience!

 

[alphawoman]

Every child has his own unique abilities and needs. It seems responsible for parents to consider the totality of the child’s specific needs in context of the family’s resources, and to choose a school that best meets the child’s individual needs. There is little value in trying to force-fit individuals into cookie cutter molds or programs tailored to someone else’s needs.

 

[1990Domer]

Every child has his own unique abilities and needs. It seems responsible for parents to consider the totality of the child’s specific needs in context of the family’s resources, and to choose a school that best meets the child’s individual needs. There is little value in trying to force-fit individuals into cookie cutter molds or programs tailored to someone else’s needs.

My point is that I want our Catholic schools to reflect the cross-section of students that are in our general population. How will kids learn compassion if Catholic schools take a “cookie cutter” student who is never exposed to children with special needs? By the way, I think it is great when they serve at risk children, but I think that definition needs to be broadened.

 

[alphawoman]

My point is that I want our Catholic schools to reflect the cross-section of students that are in our general population. How will kids learn compassion if Catholic schools take a “cookie cutter” student who is never exposed to children with special needs? By the way, I think it is great when they serve at risk children, but I think that definition needs to be broadened.

I completely agree. (And, for full disclosure, my post was replying to the OP, as I didn’t read through follow-on replies.) However, if parents feel that their child’s needs are best met outside a traditional Catholic school, then that decision can be valid, too.