Catholic Schools and pregnant students

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How a school deals with a pregnant student is only part of the problem. I think that we, as the pro-life community, could do a lot better for unwed mothers who choose to carry their baby to term.

For one thing, let’s not ignore the appeal of “taking care of the problem” with an abortion. A girl can save herself a lot of shame and explaining. Even women who consider themselves pro-life might very well flirt with the idea of an abortion. This is why we fight so hard to make abortion illegal! Because the option is available and convenient, it appears desirable. Great care must be taken to be sensitive to the mother rather than just thinking of the child. If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!

I would implore each and every one of us to reconsider the way we look at, talk about, converse with… any unwed mother, pregnant or post-partum. These babies should be celebrated just as much as wed births, if not more because of the great victory over the Culture of Death. It can be so tempting to become prideful or wag our finger at these women who bear their sin across their bellies, but that is exactly the reaction that Satan preys upon.

Ask anyone who’s been there and carried their baby: we do a poor job of putting our money where our mouth is when it comes to providing support as a society. You’d think it was contagious or something with the way they are treated!

I find it apalling that a Catholic school would expel a pregnant student. This just makes it more tempting to take the easy way out and get an abortion, not to mention that it is entirely problematic because it is impossible to enforce such a rule for young men and for women who use birth control or don’t happen to get pregnant. I can understand the reservations of teachers and administration, and perhaps the homeschool idea is an option. But expulsion? No way!
 
Vlu - I agree with you - with one minor note. I really and truly do not understand the reservations of teachers and administrators of Catholic Schools in this regard. They just need to be slapped (figuratively) if they expel pregnant students.
 
It would appear that some people would do well to re-read post #15.
 
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Pentecost2005:
It would appear that some people would do well to re-read post #15.
In case you are referring to me, I read it and agree that it is an acceptable compromise worth considering.
However, this is not what the OP stated as the policy at the school(s) in question.
 
After re-reading the OP, I have changed my mind.

Expel her from school. Her presumably Catholic parents should drive her from the house. No neighbor should give her lodgings. Exclude her from all contact of society. Let her sleep among the thorns and nettles. By keeping her child she has done no more that what she must do. She has sinned and sinned gravely. Let her be branded the fornicator (or adulteress) she is. Have no truck with her. Let her scavange for her food. Sinners must not be tolerated or we will seem to be condoning the sin. Those of us who never sin should never be sullied by having even her shadow fall across our paths … Into the fiery pit with her…

Yeah, now I sure feel Christian
 
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johnnykins:
After re-reading the OP, I have changed my mind.

Expel her from school. Her presumably Catholic parents should drive her from the house. No neighbor should give her lodgings. Exclude her from all contact of society. Let her sleep among the thorns and nettles. By keeping her child she has done no more that what she must do. She has sinned and sinned gravely. Let her be branded the fornicator (or adulteress) she is. Have no truck with her. Let her scavange for her food. Sinners must not be tolerated or we will seem to be condoning the sin. Those of us who never sin should never be sullied by having even her shadow fall across our paths … Into the fiery pit with her…

Yeah, now I sure feel Christian
Unfortunately, what you describe is frequently the situation a pregnant teenage girl finds herself in. Her parents disown her and kick her out. Her church “friends” turn their backs (the same girls who are also sexually active, but not “dumb” enough to get pregnant.) The mothers don’t want that kind of a girl hanging around their daughters. The teenage fathers say that they had no part in it, want no part in it, or will pay for an abortion. Strangers approach them at mass to tell them how shameful they are or to say they don’t belong there. Strangers approach them on the street or in the doctor’s office to tell them that they are too young to have a baby and surely aren’t married, while looking from their belly to their ringless hand. You were being satirical. Unfortunately, your satire reflects reality. I’ve worked with these girls and know how hopeless and empty they are. The only people willing to reach out to them are from the pro-death movement so often times. You wouldn’t believe what a little bit of love, or a simple baby shower, can do to bring Christ back into a young woman’s life.
 
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Forest-Pine:
Unfortunately, what you describe is frequently the situation a pregnant teenage girl finds herself in. Her parents disown her and kick her out. Her church “friends” turn their backs (the same girls who are also sexually active, but not “dumb” enough to get pregnant.) The mothers don’t want that kind of a girl hanging around their daughters. The teenage fathers say that they had no part in it, want no part in it, or will pay for an abortion. Strangers approach them at mass to tell them how shameful they are or to say they don’t belong there. Strangers approach them on the street or in the doctor’s office to tell them that they are too young to have a baby and surely aren’t married, while looking from their belly to their ringless hand. You were being satirical. Unfortunately, your satire reflects reality. I’ve worked with these girls and know how hopeless and empty they are. The only people willing to reach out to them are from the pro-death movement so often times. You wouldn’t believe what a little bit of love, or a simple baby shower, can do to bring Christ back into a young woman’s life.
I know and it makes me want to cry
 
This is really a hard subject. I didn’t read all the posts yet so this may have been addressed.

Although I went to public schools I remember in 9th grade (in the 70’s) a classmate was pregnant. In a young, warped sense, that made me think that because some girls that age were becoming sexually active, I didn’t want to feel left out. Of course, I didn’t want to get pregnant but wanted to be “mature”. What a fool I was! But I’m telling this out of a teens perspective at the time. If we don’t have a strong sense of right and wrong from our culture or our parents, we are apt to take what we see and try to conform ourselves to that model.

On the other hand, I didn’t give a thought to the seriousness of abortion. I figured if I got pregnant, I would just have an abortion. Thanks be to God, I never faced an unwanted pregnancy as a teen. I was one of the lucky ones.

I wonder if there is a way to separate the pregnant girls from Catholic school (as they used to do) so others see that there are consequences for engaging in sexual activity. Yet, at the same time, give the pregnant girl the support necessary to continue the pregnancy to term in an environment that is healthy for her and the baby without making it appear to be a punishment. Get older teens or young women who went through such a situation to talk with the younger girls about their experiences. That they wish they had waited to become sexually active but were so glad they chose life.
 
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johnnykins:
I can hardly fathom that anyone thinks it is a good idea to expel, or otherwise ostracize, a pregnant student from a Catholic School. High School kids know all about sex - no mileage there. Sending her off does nothing but send the wrong message. I’m simply stunned and very saddened. God help us all if this is the attitude of Christians.
Just curious, why do you think it sends the worng message?
 
I can’t think of a child who would need the environment of a Catholic school more than a pregnant, unwed teenager.

I have an opinion as to why Catholic schools would take a different approach, but I will attempt to be charitable and not state it.
 
Fix: Mary was not yet married to Joseph. She was betrothed, or promised to him to be his wife. They had not yet become married. Joseph was angry about her being pregnant. He didn’t want to hurt or embarrass her…and he particularily didn’t want her stoned to death, which was the custom then: To kill a woman who found herself “with child” and unmarried. So, he was going to quietly put her aside, take her someplace where she wouldn’t be shunned by friends, family, and the community. He loved her, but still didn’t want her having a baby that wasn’t his…UNTIL the angel told him it was God’s Son she was carrying. An incredible man of faith Joseph was!! Had they been “truly married” she probably wouldn’t have been a virgin any longer. So, if the Catholic Church teaches that she was married, but still a virgin, but not married in the manner of having “been with a man,” no wonder people could be confused. I, however, am not Catholic. I’m Lutheran. Betrothed means engaged to, promised to: that’s what we teach our kids.

The object of the whole thread was what to do with a hypothetical young lady that at is pregnant in a Catholic school. I read post #15 about educating the girl at home. That may work in some classes, but with many of the classes today, without the direct one-on-one help of a teacher, I don’t know too many kids that can get through Trig. alone. And chemistry and physics could be a bit difficult and dangerous at home. And band and choir concerts would be a bit strange as well. What if she needs help? Does she sneak into the school after hours or before school starts? It’s almost like taking a HUGE step backwards in time. Women who were pregnant were hidden, and forced to stop working as soon as they started to “show.” Girls were shuttled off to a “home” or “special school” for unwed mothers and no one spoke of where she went. Then “POOF” all of a sudden, there she was again, back in school, and not talking about where she was. I’m a teacher also, and I’ve worked with pregnant girls, and ONE time, and one time only, I worked with BOTH parents…mom and dad were there, together. Neither were shunned, and neither were patted on the back with “way to go stud.” They were helped and cared for by the staff and students. It was a public school. I have taught at a Catholic school, where the was a pregnant girl. She was allowed to stay throughout her pregnancy, cared for and loved. No one seemed to question it either. Maybe an angel came to everyone and said “do not cast this girl out. Take her in as your own, and love her, for the baby she carries will be a blessing.” Could have happened. Similar situations, could have used similar words, but to more people than just a scared young man.

The one thing that keeps getting ignored, unless I missed it is:WHAT ABOUT THE DAD?? if he’s a student too, shouldn’t he have to go through this also? However the idea for discussion about making the girl tell who the father was before she could go back to class, almost made me laugh. I had visions of old cop shows going through my mind, except this was Sisters in habits with rulers. (sorry, if that offends anyone, but if you’ve seen the “BluesBrothers” you’ll understand.) The sisters I worked with never wore habits and were the most loving, kind people I’ve ever met. After I thought about the interrogation team though, I thought maybe there were times when this happened. I don’t know…because there again comes the question of rape where she might not know the “father” or incest, and that’s another can or worms!

This is truly a problem in more than just private schools, because sometimes girls are pregnant because they want to be. And people can either shun them, or almost praise them, or treat them normally. Touchy situation. Interesting discussion!

Just one little thing though: Planned Parenthood does NOT immediately discuss abortion. They do discuss first the life options. They also have abstinence as their first line of preventative contraception for teens! They will go through all options of live birth, adoption before they discuss abortion. If the girl/woman still wants an abortion they will discuss it, and give her things to read, a counselor to talk to, and make her take TIME before she makes this FINAL decision. Granted Planned Parenthood can differ from place to place, but those that I’ve spoken to don’t think abortion should be used as a form of birth control either. Most people see the fetus as a life also. Why did I speak to them? Because I was a youth director, and the Youth Directors in the churches in my community taught sex ed. in the PUBLIC SCHOOLS!! We couldn’t teach scripture, BUT we were allowed to discuss the Christian perspective of sex. Pretty amazing school district to allow this. Oh, and the churches represented: 2 Baptist, 2 Lutheran, Catholic, and Presbyterian. The kids thought we were pretty cool…and we had a great time!
 
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johnnykins:
After re-reading the OP, I have changed my mind.

Expel her from school. Her presumably Catholic parents should drive her from the house. No neighbor should give her lodgings. Exclude her from all contact of society. Let her sleep among the thorns and nettles. By keeping her child she has done no more that what she must do. She has sinned and sinned gravely. Let her be branded the fornicator (or adulteress) she is. Have no truck with her. Let her scavange for her food. Sinners must not be tolerated or we will seem to be condoning the sin. Those of us who never sin should never be sullied by having even her shadow fall across our paths … Into the fiery pit with her…

Yeah, now I sure feel Christian
Yeah I re-read as well. Let’s kick them out of school. That’s the best way to encourage an abortion after all. . Let’s treat them like lepers… Let them know that while pregnant, they are the worst of the worst and should be shunned, (schooled at home).

BTW, what a great start for the baby. So much love.

Shunning a pregnant teenager is a great way to encourage abortions. It is simplier, and no one has to know.

If a Catholic school shuns a pregnant girl by sending her home for the 9mos, the next pregnant one will take the abortion route.
 
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mosher:
Just curious, why do you think it sends the worng message?
By punishing only girls who decide to keep their baby (whether from fornication or from rape), and by not punishing the father, nor any other sexually active girls and boys who avoided a pregnancy or obtained an abortion, it sends the message that it is the very fact of being pregnant that is the problem/sin, and not any fornication that may have occurred or is currently occurring.
 
I think having a pregnant girl in school is a great reminder to those little invinsible things like they think they are. Seeing it would make them go “JEEZ LOUISE! i CAN get pregnant at 14. it happens!” my sister is a single mom and a great one at that. These girls should be loved and accepted as all students, not shunned, shamed and hidden away.

Tarashly
 
Penny Plain:
I can’t think of a child who would need the environment of a Catholic school more than a pregnant, unwed teenager.

I have an opinion as to why Catholic schools would take a different approach, but I will attempt to be charitable and not state it.
You are better than me, then, because this is one of my favorite issues.

Kicking a girl out of school because she is pregnant not only encourages abortion, but it directly feeds and justifies the accusations of the pro-abort crowd that pro-lifers only care about babies until they are born.

Kicking a girl out of school because she is pregnant does send a message – DON’T GET CAUGHT.

They kick her out of school because they don’t like to be seen as a place where they do not teach chastity to their children. Out of the hundred that have sex, and ten who get abortions, the one who keeps the baby is the ONLY one among them who takes the heat. The school, in essence, “aborts” this member of the body of Christ for being an inconvenience, the exact same thing they preach against when it comes to the biological family rather than the spiritual one.

Alan
 
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AlanFromWichita:
You are better than me, then, because this is one of my favorite issues.

Kicking a girl out of school because she is pregnant not only encourages abortion, but it directly feeds and justifies the accusations of the pro-abort crowd that pro-lifers only care about babies until they are born.

Kicking a girl out of school because she is pregnant does send a message – DON’T GET CAUGHT.

They kick her out of school because they don’t like to be seen as a place where they do not teach chastity to their children. Out of the hundred that have sex, and ten who get abortions, the one who keeps the baby is the ONLY one among them who takes the heat. The school, in essence, “aborts” this member of the body of Christ for being an inconvenience, the exact same thing they preach against when it comes to the biological family rather than the spiritual one.

Alan
Good job, Alan - let 'em have it. You are smack dead on center. This is one we - all Catholics - need to hang together on.
 
The home study seems the best option to me. That being said if a pregnant girl is not allowed to attend high school the girl that aborts is being rewarded for murdering her child.

I understand the concern of young girls being misled into thinking having a baby would be cute or something by seeing the attention the pregnant girl recieves- but answer this. Is it worse for there to be more unwed mothers or more aborted children?

All a teenage girl will see is if an unwed mother is expelled it would just make life a whole lot easier just to have an abortion. And the boy gets off scott free either way.

I also don’t agree that either shoud have to give any kind of speeches unless this is something they decide on their own. Otherwise the highschoolers will know that the speeches were coerced and I think that will only do more harm.
 
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Ana:
It does seem that she is paying a consequence, not for fornication (sin), but for being pregnant (not sin.) This would mean all non-virgins should be prohibited from receiving a Catholic education. And if pregnancy is the only way to “prove” fornication, then the boys have NO standard with which to be held accountable.

I think if the girl was giving speeches promoting fornication, than the school would have grounds for expulsion for disciplinary reasons, not needing to use the pregnancy as a reason.

Also, considering that PP is constantly spouting the parallel between poverty and unwed mothers, it seems counter productive in our fight against the culture of death to deny the mother an opportunity at a Catholic education. This carries a higher academic acheivement and a chance at a better future for herself and her child.

Just my thoughts on the matter.
Excellent post! 👍
 
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johnnykins:
Good job, Alan - let 'em have it. You are smack dead on center. This is one we - all Catholics - need to hang together on.
Thanks for the support.

Some Catholics have not yet gotten the Good News and are still so focused on stoning the prostitute that all good sense goes out the window. I guess it comes natural to some to take the sins of all out on a few select people. Plus, when we get rid of the prostitute, she takes incriminating evidence with her – one of the motivations I’ve heard in the crowd which Jesus prevented from stoning. It almost seems that some Catholic leaders are bound and determined to do everything just exactly the opposite of what Jesus taught, right down the line. It’s almost spooky how accurate the Gospel portrays these people.

Of course, they aren’t going to listen to me because they never saw me walk on water and I don’t have the “experience” they have in these matters.

It blows my mind that Catholic leaders don’t understand this particular issue – it is the most divisive possible stance they could take. However, it is probably safe from attack because how many parents are going to take a Catholic school to court because their daughter was pregnant?

I’ve heard this attitude preached in the name of “we have to expect accountability.” I’ve also heard “we must take a stand.”
I say if the school had any guts and really wanted to live up to its cliches, it would monitor all activity possible, Internet blog sites and everything, and kick every kid out who admitted to having sex or taking drugs or drinking alcohol. Better yet, if a girl is pregnant, then expel any boys who she names or can be otherwise discovered to have had sex with her in the past year. Of course, they wouldn’t do that, because they know that would be unfair and random. Truth is, what they are doing is random.

Reality message for young Catholic girls: if you are having sex, make sure to use birth control – including the “latent” kind if the others fail – or you will be punished, banished, and denied Catholic education.

Oh, I forgot. We expel her because we love her and it would not be in her best interest to think that her spiritual family won’t wash their hands of her in a minute if she shows them up. She needs to know that if she gets into trouble, she’s out on the street. Sorry, woman, should have thought of that before you jumped into the sack. Oh, I can just feel the love oozing out and emanating forth from this policy.

Alan
 
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