Catholic Sex and Masterbation

[PennitentMan]

Thanks, PennitentMan. Funny enough, it was never something I ever talked about with my husband. We talk about practically everything, too, so it’s funny to me that I this subject never actually came up for us.

It may be a sore spot…it’s not something you want to admit to your wife…since it usually goes together with soiling your sleepwear and the sheets a little. Amongst other things.

 

[Sarabande]

It may be a sore spot…it’s not something you want to admit to your wife…since it usually goes together with soiling your sleepwear and the sheets a little. Amongst other things.

Yes… I fully understand that.

 

[briang72]

A wet dream is not “engaging in a sexual act”. Engaging in an act requires the will.

 

[Sarabande]

A wet dream is not “engaging in a sexual act”. Engaging in an act requires the will.

So, would that also apply to children or babies who do things to achieve that kind of physical sensation, although they don’t realize that the sensation they are achieving is something sexual? Also, how do you talk to children about this if they are “caught in the act” like a 3 or 5 year old?

 

[davidv]

So, would that also apply to children or babies who do things to achieve that kind of physical sensation, although they don’t realize that the sensation they are achieving is something sexual?

Yes

Also, how do you talk to children about this if they are “caught in the act” like a 3 or 5 year old?

We just told them to not do it. And repeated it until they stopped. No need to explain, because they would’nt have understood.

 

[Sarabande]

Yes

We just told them to not do it. And repeated it until they stopped. No need to explain, because they would’nt have understood.

Thanks, David!

What about for children who needs to know why they have to stop? Some parents do tell them it is a sin, but that doesn’t really explain to the child why it is a sin. Is there anything out there to help assist parents with children who are very inquisitive like that? I’m just asking because my husband and I are planning to start a family soon and I want to be prepared for questions like that once they start talking and developing their minds.

 

[CuriousInIL]

Wet dreams are fine, according to the Church. It happens when you are sleeping and since you do not have any control over your dreams, you have no culpability. It’s not like you chose to comit the sin at all.

And yes, men get this throughout their lives…even married men.
Personally It’s only like 2 times a year for me, but all men get this.

It’s the body’s way of getting rid of the frustrations that we are not allowed to get rid of ourselves.

Many, perhaps most at certain times, but far from “all,”

 

[PennitentMan]

Many, perhaps most at certain times, but far from “all,”

Sure thing, I stand corrected.

 

[thistle]

I agrea with no sex before marriage, But not no masturbating, Why not? If you dont the sperm cells die anyway so why not enjoy it? I admit i do it as i know god would want us to be happy and our sperm cells will die anyway.

Your profile says you are a Catholic. Read the CCC and you’ll know why masturbation is wrong and you must believe and accept this. If you masturbate then you are in a state of mortal (you obviously know the Church teaches its wrong but you do it anyway) and you cannot receive Communion.
If you persist in the belief it is not wrong then you are committing heresy.

CCC 2089 Incredulity is the neglect of revealed truth or the willful refusal to assent to it. "Heresy is the obstinate post-baptismal denial of some truth which must be believed with divine and catholic faith, or it is likewise an obstinate doubt concerning the same; apostasy is the total repudiation of the Christian faith; schism is the refusal of submission to the Roman Pontiff or of communion with the members of the Church subject to him."

 

[dulcissima]

What about if you decide you will never marry again? I dont plan on marrying again. Been married 3 times, last one in the Church.
Marriage is not for me. So who do I share with? I am a confirmed Bachelor now.

If you decide never to marry again, then you are choosing a life of celibacy. Believe it or not you can view celibacy as a gift from God. Being divorced myself, I’ve been experiencing this gift for the last 14 months. I’ve learned a lot about myself and have grown much closer to God. It’s been a challenge, but I do think it’s been a worthwhile challenge. Unlike you, I do not hope to remain single for the rest of my life. I am pursuing a declaration of nullity, and I hope that what I have learned during this time will help me to become a better wife should I ever marry.

The way that I look at it is this, the essence of heaven is communion. The way that we prepare ourselves for this communion is through sacrifice and selfless love. Both marriage and celibacy will prepare our souls for union with God.

The essence of Hell is isolation. Selfish and sinful acts such as masturbation and fornication cause us to focus on gratifying our own immediate and selfish needs for pleasure, often at the expense of others and always at the expense of our relationship with God. In the end those who choose this path will not understand the value of sacrificial love and will reject communion with God, because to do so would require them to let go of their attachment to selfish pleasure, something that would be too painful for them to willingly choose.

Something to consider…

 

[pprimeau1976]

Alot of people here have said all there is to say about the teaching on masturbation. Pop culture would rather tell us that “when masturbation’s lost it’s fun, your _ing lonely” but it’s a lie.

But my question is why is everyone fighting for the right to touch themselves? It’s as if masturbation has suddenly thrusted itself up there with the freedom of speech and the freedom of the press.

 

[Questionsabound]

Wet dreams are fine, according to the Church. It happens when you are sleeping and since you do not have any control over your dreams, you have no culpability. It’s not like you chose to comit the sin at all.

And yes, men get this throughout their lives…even married men.
Personally It’s only like 2 times a year for me, but all men get this.

It’s the body’s way of getting rid of the frustrations that we are not allowed to get rid of ourselves.

For some, very rarely…
And for others, it happens very frequently.

 

[briang72]

So, would that also apply to children or babies who do things to achieve that kind of physical sensation, although they don’t realize that the sensation they are achieving is something sexual? Also, how do you talk to children about this if they are “caught in the act” like a 3 or 5 year old?

Children this young have hardly had the chance to build up a well-informed conscience on such matters. 5 years and younger are definitely not ready for sexual education. Where as the act is sinful, the culpability of a 5 year old would seem to be extremely reduced. Unfortunately, since they are doing these things, those children need to be instructed in some fashion that they should not be doing these things.

I would be worried that they may have been exposed to someone else doing these things. The parents should make sure that they filter internet and TV programming in their homes, and to be involved in their children’s selection of friends, whom may be influencing this behavior.

 

[SantaBenito]

Thanks for all comments.

Would thinking/Watching porn be a sin?

 

[dulcissima]

Yes.

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

2354 Pornography consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense. Civil authorities should prevent the production and distribution of pornographic materials.

 

[Pat_the_Cat]

Santa Benito, I’m glad you are seaching, and encourage you to keep on doing so, it sounds like God is really getting you to ask the questions that will really help change your life.

Heres some good Catholic stuff on Porn

It is a noble quest to search for purity, it is not an easy road but it is a rewarding one. Jesus said “the pure in heart will see God”. Sexual sin will damage one’s ability to truly know, love and serve God. Instead one will begin to know, love and serve the flesh. “no-one can serve two masters, he will end up hating one and loving the other”.

I’ll pray for you. I’ll also pray for everyone who reads this thread who may be struggling to accept church teachings in the area of Sexuality!

If anyone ***is ***struggling with masturbation and/or Pornography, or feel they might have an addiction, please find somone you can confide in and get help!
Here are some Catholic websites that might help!
PornNoMore
True Knights
Other Issues on Sexuality
God bless you!

 

[debraran]

I remember reading and being told that if it’s a nervous habit started young, when sex wasn’t in the picture, it wasn’t really a sin. You weren’t “having sex with yourself”, it was a calming mechanism that you got into the habit of using. When you start to use it to fantasize about porn or the guy/woman you like, it changes. That’s why it’s not always a mortal sin and the cathechism says:
To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.

For some it’s a life long habit, and they anxiety of not doing it at times, would be causing more harm than not. It can’t be an “excuse” though but a real problem.

 

[Pat_the_Cat]

For some it’s a life long habit, and the anxiety of not doing it at times, would be causing more harm than not. It can’t be an “excuse” though but a real problem.

This my friend is what’s called ADDICTION!

All addictions, but particularly sexual addictions, are habits that have been lived for so long that it’s become part of the person’s character. Someone who has an addiction can’t (and often won’t) imagine life without it. It becomes their “god”.

How do we get rid of bad habits?

This battle begins by taking control of the Thoughts (with God’s help).
good or bad **THOUGHTS **are what make your **ACTONS **
good or bad **ACTONS **done often enough become **HABITS **
good or bad **HABITS **lived in long enough become part of your **CHARACTER **

The word CHARACTER means; a distinctive mark, imprint on the soul. Your Character distinguises you from others, it is what is Imprinted on your soul

You get to choose what type of person you become, by deciding what you put into your mind. Which will, in turn, help you control your thoughts and build good character.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.1 Peter 1:13

When the devil tempts you by suggesting an “impure” thought, rather than battle with him, do all you can to change the subject. Tell him your not interested in what he’s got to say. Realise that he is the “father of all lies” and get outta there!

You CANNOT fill your mind with garbage and expect to think clearly and make clear decisions! :nope:

 

[Greg27]

Traditionally, no branch of Christianity has openly supported or advocated masturbation as a healthy sexual act. Likewise, before the 20th century and the work of Freud, moral philosophers (including Kant) regarded masturbation as a form of sexual perversion.

Orthodoxy and Catholicism and also most conservative and evangelical Protestants I think, would regard masturbation as sinful, though unfortunately common. How it is dealt with pastorally is another matter, but publically, it is not an acceptable form of sexual activity, because the emphasis of the Bible seems to be of sex between a married man and a woman, and not in other circumstances.

 

[fellowChristian]

Any sex outside of marriage is wrong even when it’s just you.

Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.

I can break in someones house. Doesn’t mean I should.

I can run my husband over. Doesn’t mean I should.

I can do drugs. Doesn’t mean I should.

There are alot of things I can do, doesn’t mean I should.

I can overeat,I can use foul language, I can hurt people, I can have sex with anyone I want, I can watch anything I want, I can do drugs but it doesn’t mean I should. Think of all the things you can do and why you don’t.

Because all those things won’t make you happy.