Catholic Sex and Masterbation

[outfctrl]

I just thought I’d weigh in here because this is a problem that really hits home for me. As a divorced male with no intentions of re-marrying, who has engaged in this behavior since I was a child, I can testify to where the harm comes in.

It’s true that in Old Testament times people believed that a man’s ‘seed’ could be used up, which is probably why there was such laws against wasting it.

But the problem with masturbation is really twofold.

On the most basic level, there is a danger that it can become a habit, which is very difficult to break.

On the second level, while in my case there were instances that didn’t involve fantasy (mostly in my youth when I didn’t understand what was going on) lust almost always creeps in. And once you involve images and lustful thoughts, you need more and more to ‘get going’. A person can waste hours just trying to find something that’s gratifying and this isn’t time well spent.

As I said, I’m only speaking for myself, but I’d bet that if you asked people who struggle with this, they’d tell you that lust often plays a part.

Believe me, I wish the Church would change it’s teaching on this (a little levity here), but it’s not going to happen and for good reason - She simply knows better.

I am basically the same. Divorced and dont plan on remarrying.
I do not have the habit of self pleasure. I go months without it. Then I do notice some physical issues. When that happens, I do not look at porn or any other type of impure thoughts. Just take care of business. I do feel guilty though, knowing I committed a Mortal sin in the eyes of the Church. I hate it.

When I confess, I say to the Priest that I broke the 6th Commandment. If he asks how, I will tell him.

All sin can be avoided, I know that. I just cant figure out why I do it, when I know it is a sin.

 

[lsu]

I have a friend who drinks all the time, her husband comes home and watch a pron movie,he masterbates she tells him thats a sin to do that .What is this man suppose to do? Wait until she is sober again.

They are both cathoilcs

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

I have a friend who drinks all the time, her husband comes home and watch a pron movie,he masterbates she tells him thats a sin to do that .What is this man suppose to do? Wait until she is sober again.

They are both cathoilcs

This man is to openly communicate with his wife about what is going on. He is not to watch pornography and masturbate as both are motal sins as defined by the Catholic Church. Both are using their different vices to replace something that is missing in the marriage. Again they need to talk about this and get to the bottom of what is going on. Why is she getting drunk? Why is he watching porn and masturbating?

2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.”
To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.

2354 Pornography consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense. Civil authorities should prevent the production and distribution of pornographic materials.

 

[mike_sieber]

I have a friend who drinks all the time, her husband comes home and watch a pron movie,he masterbates she tells him thats a sin to do that .What is this man suppose to do? Wait until she is sober again.

They are both cathoilcs

It seems that your friend has several issues that need to be dealt with. The drinking, the watching of porn and masturbation. These are all sinful (not drinking in moderation, but to the point of intoxication.)

Whether these are mortal or venial sins can really be determined by a good confessor. Watching porn and masturbating while under the influence of alcohol might negate the condition of free will, which is one that needs to be met in order for a sin to be mortal.

There’s obviously some root cause for his actions that needs to be addressed so he can live the way God wants him to live.

I’ll keep him in my prayers.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Oh, dear. I see PenisintentMan has succeeded in convincing himself masturbation is moral and a God-given right. Now he is intent on making all of us believe the same lie.

Way to use your God-given intellect! I sincerely doubt Jesus Christ would agree with you, though.

For the rest of us, it is wrong. Just like the guy who starts smoking a cigarette when he is 15. It’s cool. It gives him a picker-upper now and then… he does not foresee the road down the line where cancer-stricken patients drag themselves out of hospital beds and go outside with their oxygen tanks for a smoke because the addiction has them in its throes.

Eventually, PM’s technique will become so good that his wife will never be able to duplicate the thrill. Hell, he doesn’t even need a wife anymore! And that’s the lie of masturbation. It takes the deepest most interpersonal communication of Love and Life between two people and makes it a conversation with oneself. (You know what they say about people who walk around talking to themselves also…)

Adultery is less selfish, because at least with that, you have to pretend to love another person. This selfish, self-love doesn’t even require another person in order to communicate love. So PM can just love himself to death and he doesn’t see how that alone closes him off to love of his wife.

He won’t see that until he is alone with himself for good and the divorce papers are sitting on his kitchen table.

Hell is not eternal fire. Hell is ALONENESS. Completely cut off from God and others. Masturbation with all its solitude is a foretaste of that aloneness. It’s an unproductive, immature, navel-gazing, self-gratifying exercise. I used to do volunteer work with the mentally handicapped. And some of those boys, bless their hearts, would go away at it in public. Because it felt good. And they didn’t know better. There was no sin for them. They would always be mentally 3 years old. Speaking as a woman, when I hear a grown man does that, I think “Loser! Go sit off in your corner with the door closed and play with yourself. Just don’t touch anything on the way out!”

Because such a man is operating as if he has the self control of a three year old. That time could be spent in prayer, working at a soup kitchen, helping a neighbor widow mow her lawn, or maybe (just a thought here) TALKING TO YOUR WIFE AND TREATING HER LIKE SHE HAS VALUE BEYOND HER CAPACITY TO TICKLE YOUR NERVE GANGLIONS!

Sorry to be harsh. No, not really. Because PM stepped over the line long ago from seeking the truth. Now that he has found his own truth, he is coming to a Catholic web site and is trying to draw others into his sin. That is called scandal. All sin has social consequences, even those we commit in our own bedroom with the door closed with no one but God and our Guardian angel forced to watch. Even this most solitary of sins has resulted in PM having to go out and convince others that wrong is right and down is up. And I worry that his quotations of God’s own word may lead other unsuspecting people into error also.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Oh. I see I accidentally made a typo in PM’s name in my previous post. Sorry about that.

 

[Clovis]

It is obvious that sex a desire we all have, and that it simply can’t be avoided completely. Did not Christ know this; therefore it is fair to say from his hell analogies that they be inevitable for all of us, at least to an extent.

 

[FelixBlue]

Yes, but how is masturbation different from a back rub? Surely many would condone that…

 

[distracted]

What about if you decide you will never marry again? I dont plan on marrying again. Been married 3 times, last one in the Church.

If something is a sin, it is a sin no matter what the circumstances… albeit certain circumstances DO tend to “mitigate” the seriousness of the sin… or i should say the culpability one has for committing it… (“To whom more is given, more is required”… .etc.)

In any case, i don’t think the Posts i’ve read so far thorooughly exhaust the subject of How and Why it is wrong/sinful to self-gratify… though they probably touch on the most important reasons… Anyway, i can’t begin to say all the reasons why it is wrong either… One thing i DO know is that it IS wrong… and very wrong…

Its understandable why people commit this sin… but the sin hurts us regardless… & in ways we don’t always fully comprehend…

I hate living without sexual fulfillment… But i refuse to do anything about it because i don’t want to mess up my intimacy with God, who is holy… The Scriptures tell us to be “perfect” as our heavenly Father is perfect. Perfect sex is married sex… period. That’s the way God made things to be… And God knows best…
God bless.

 

[Spirithound]

Onan’s sin was “Coitus interruptus”. Pulling out when the Lord wanted him to conceive. It’s not anything to do with masturbation at all. He disobeyed God’s command and didn’t conceive when he was supposed to.

By this explanation, coitus interruptus and ABC are only sinful at seemingly random points in time. If we only need conceive when God wants us to, then outside of those times, anything goes.
But God gives absolute rules, rules that we are actually able to follow. Why would he allow for contraception at some undiscernable time?

 

[outfctrl]

I was wrong in trying to justify self stimulation with my situation. The majority of you are correct. It is a sin and a grave one at that.

I have committed myself to chastity. When I get the urge, I will focus on other things and pray. No one said life is easy and this is just a stepping stone to get closer to God.

I know my journey will be difficult. It is wednesday now and I havent committed any mortal sin. This might be the week I wont have to go to confession. I have kept the Lords name out of my swearing up to now. I am shooting for a whole week. LOL

Question:
Can you still receive communion with venial sins?

 

[Scottgun]

Question:
Can you still receive communion with venial sins?

Yes and it even remits venial sin, but it is best when done without venial sin. I go to the holy water font, use it and say “Lord Jesus Christ, by your Precious blood and with this holy water, cleanse me of my sins.” and genuflect to the Blessed Sacrament in the tabernacle. Done with sincerity, this affects the remission of venial sins.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

I was wrong in trying to justify self stimulation with my situation. The majority of you are correct. It is a sin and a grave one at that.

I have committed myself to chastity. When I get the urge, I will focus on other things and pray. No one said life is easy and this is just a stepping stone to get closer to God.

I know my journey will be difficult. It is wednesday now and I havent committed any mortal sin. This might be the week I wont have to go to confession. I have kept the Lords name out of my swearing up to now. I am shooting for a whole week. LOL

Question:
Can you still receive communion with venial sins?

Best of luck to you on your journey to chastity. I know that it is not easy, but it is definitely worth it. I am sorry, I may have missed this, but did you read “The Good News About Sex and Marraige” by Christopher West?

Also, all venial sins are forgiven at mass.

“I confess to Almighty God and to you my brothers and sisters that I have sinned through my own fault, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done and what I have failed to do. I ask Blessed Mary, ever virgin, all the angels and saints and to you my brothers and sisters to pray for me to the Lord our God.”

 

[DailyBread]

Although venial sins are forgiven at mass, i would recommend confession even without mortal sins because frequent confession helps to keep us away from them. Many a saints frequented confession even with venial sins (once a week or every two weeks) to draw its sacramental graces.

 

[outfctrl]

Well, I have been going every week since I have been back. Well, I missed one week.

So far, I dont think I have committed any sins yet this week. At least that I know of.

My swearing has cut out the Lords name 100% so far. That was my biggest. I have kept my chastity, so I am alright there.

If I go to confession this Sat, I wont know what to tell the Priest.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Although venial sins are forgiven at mass, i would recommend confession even without mortal sins because frequent confession helps to keep us away from them. Many a saints frequented confession even with venial sins (once a week or every two weeks) to draw its sacramental graces.

Agreed!!

 

[thechrismyster]

Oh. I see I accidentally made a typo in PM’s name in my previous post. Sorry about that.

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

 

[thechrismyster]

Yes, but how is masturbation different from a back rub? Surely many would condone that…

short answer: one you can do in the mall while people shop, the other you can’t. well, you could, but you’d be arrested.

 

[Spirithound]

Well, I have been going every week since I have been back. Well, I missed one week.

So far, I dont think I have committed any sins yet this week. At least that I know of.

My swearing has cut out the Lords name 100% so far. That was my biggest. I have kept my chastity, so I am alright there.

If I go to confession this Sat, I wont know what to tell the Priest.

Congratulations on your success (with the Lord) so far. If you feel that you have truly grown enough to search deeper, search for examinations of conscience on the internet. Pope JPII went to confession every week, so (no offence) i’m sure we all could find something to confess too!

 

[JustinMartyr100]

Nowhere in the Bible do they talk about “self-sex” or “alone-sex”.

I didn’t read every page in this thread, so I don’t know if my point has already been brought up. I wouldn’t worry about finding it in the Bible in order to validate the teaching, we aren’t protestants here. Below is what the Catechism has to say about masturbation.

CCC 2352 - By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.”

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.

Rome has spoken, case closed.