Catholic Wedding with Protestant Guests/Family

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cbirtell

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I just converted to Catholicism in March from being a Protestant and my fiancé has been a Catholic his whole life… I’m struggling with the fact that my fiancé wants our wedding to be in the Mass when communion is distributed to guests that are Catholic. But I want it in the Mass and only him and I receive it. For the sake of my family and all my friends and wanting it to be a special moment between us.

I think my fiancé wants the normal Mass so his family can receive Communion, which makes sense but I want it to be received by just him and I for that reason too…

Any advice is appreciated.
 
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There is a perfectly valid non-communion wedding mass.

I’m in the same spot as you, being torn about to ask for dispensation of the Eucharist (Lutherans believe in the Actual Factual Real Presence) or go for the non-communion version.
 
A non-mass wedding is completely out of the question to my fiancé…

Its a difficult situation and I hope the best for you!
 
Well, I’d talk to the priest without my fiance.

Most parish clergy (yes, there are occasional jerks) are used to the grey zones of life. Get him on your side as in Just how would it look w a wedding mass where you wasn’t allowed to take communion? That a good way to start married life? Denigating your new wife before the entire congregation? Really???
 
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When Can You Have a Catholic Wedding Without a Mass?

Q: I’m engaged to an evangelical Christian. He’s very open to the Catholic Church though, he attends Mass with me sometimes and is okay with raising our children Catholic. The problem is his evang…
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There is a perfectly valid wedding mass without communion.
I’ve had to look this stuff up. You’re welcome.
 
Ok … so you would insult any protestant wedding attendant, including the bride’s/groom’s family.
What a swell way to start a marriage.

If I was of fertile age I would insist on a non-Catholic, possibly civil, wedding bc there is no way I would consent to that. Insulting my relatives would just be icing on the top.
 
This is what we did. The last thing that my wife (and I) wanted to do is start our marriage off with something that I can’t participate in and would drive a stake right down the middle of the church (her family is Catholic, none of mine is).
cbirtell said:
But I want it in the Mass and only him and I receive it.
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I would get with your priest (just him and you) and see if that’s a viable option or not. I don’t think that any and every priest will allow that.
cbirtell said:
A non-mass wedding is completely out of the question to my fiancé…
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He’s completely unwilling to meet you in the middle…at all? What does he think about “private” communion?
 
There is a big line between “no Communion” and “insult everyone”.

Have a wedding without Mass. After Mass just you and your new spouse go to the Sacristy for a private communion.
 
Your finance may be insisting on a wedding Mass simply because he doesn’t realize that you can have a valid Catholic wedding rite outside of a Mass?
 
Our Priest said he would do a private communion for us.

As of now yes… He says its important for his family to receive communion. I thought private communion would meet us in the middle but he doesn’t seem to think so…But none of my family will receive it and I want that to be a special moment for us so receiving it private would be ideal…
 
As someone with less than a handful of Catholic wedding guests I would really recommend the non-mass option. Could you go to mass together the morning after as a married couple?
 
We plan to. But a non mass wedding is out of the question to my fiancé.
 
I think you’d just have to go for an announcement for the non-Catholics and accept some awkwardness. Are you in a part of the world that invites non_Catholics up for a blessing?
 
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cbirtell said:
He says its important for his family to receive communion.
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Well…what about your family? Does he understand that there’s more than one family involved here…?
cbirtell said:
I thought private communion would meet us in the middle but he doesn’t seem to think so
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Agreed, I think it meets in the middle too. To him, what does he think meeting in the middle is? It’s your wedding too, not just his.
 
Frankly, people on this thread have proposed various solutions. If your fiancé is not willing to be flexible, and none of these solutions are options, then you’re stuck. A Catholic wedding does not have to be a Mass.
 
SnowRose said:
Really? REALLY?
A non-mass wedding is perfectly licit.

And does he really want the optics of him (and his family) taking communion and excluding his bride AT THE WEDDING?

If I was a guest to a wedding like that I’d put money into the divorce bet kitty!
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To be fair…she’s a convert. She’ll be able to go to communion…her side of the church won’t be able to (which is awkward in and of itself too).
 
OP converted in March, so bride is not excluded for communion. Oh, TC beat me to it.
 
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Ok, so you guys don’t see a problem? At all?

If I was at a wedding like that I would kiss my cousin or friend bye-bye afterwards.
 
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