Catholic Wedding with Protestant Guests/Family

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BartholomewB said:
Holy Communion is only for Catholics who have fulfilled the Sacrament of Reconciliation within the last so many days
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Going further than Church doctrine here.

You talk to your family and friends before hand, you print it in your program and the priest reminds them during the mass “The Eucharist is for those Catholics who are properly disposed to receive. Our brothers and sisters who are not properly disposed at this time are welcome to come forward for a blessing or to simply stay in the pew and pray.”
 
True…but I think OP is more worried that her family will only be observers at her wedding where his family will be full participants and she not that fond of one of the first things they do as a couple excludes her family and her side of the church making them observers while she participates with his family and his side of the church.

I totally get where she’s coming from on this one…
 
TC3033 said:
That’s fair, but that can be a two way street.

My wife (Catholic) decided she didn’t want a full Mass for our wedding. She made that decision to avoid the awkwardness that would have come from my entire side of the church not being able to participate and we didn’t want our marriage to start off with something that I (and my family) could not be part of. So, I guess it’s not really that cut and dry.
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So, the easiest solution is to eliminate “taking sides” of the church for the bride and groom.

My niece is getting married in a few months and the question isn’t whether one “side” or the other is able to receive communion or not as both she and her fiance and their respective families are devout Catholics. The issue is that, since the groom’s family is traveling quite a distance to the wedding (in the bride’s home parish), “his side” would be quite empty compared to the “bride’s side”. My husband and I told our ushers at our wedding (30 years ago) to seat people as they came in since we were facing the exact same issue. Both sides were balanced and it didn’t look like the groom’s family avoided the wedding (of course, we knew that time and expense prohibited travel and we weren’t bothered by it, but it would have looked awkward to have upwards of 100 people on my side and maybe ten on his side.)

To have the non-receiving guests scattered among the receiving guests, to me, would make things less awkward. It wouldn’t be obvious that “one whole side” of the church is remaining in the pews while the “other side” receives.

And who wants to start married life with the guests and family members visibly “taking sides” at the ceremony?
 
Maybe we can have two lines during Communion - one for Catholics the consecrated hosts, one for non-Catholics the non-consecrated hosts. That perhaps will satisfy everybody.
 
bluerose said:
And who wants to start married life with the guests and family members visibly “taking sides” at the ceremony?
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Exactly…😉
bluerose said:
So, the easiest solution is to eliminate “taking sides” of the church for the bride and groom.
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I wasn’t being literal, by my side of the church…we meant everyone from my family/my part of the guest list. That may work well for your scenario, but there wouldn’t have been any “scattering” at our wedding 🙂 . Ya, my family had to make the 3 hr journey…we’re a big family and love weddings (all 50 cousins). The church was nearly standing room and it easily would have been 50/50 of people not welcome to communion vs. others climbing over them.

We didn’t want something in our wedding that I (and my family) could not participate in but she and her family would have. We thought it was a pretty easy decision.
 
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Snow, it was a joke. I don’t want to derail the thread and go off topic with a substantive reply. 🙂
 
That is why the Church strongly recommends the non-mass wedding service for mixed marriages.
 
TheLittleLady said:
That is why the Church strongly recommends the non-mass wedding service for mixed marriages.
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Non-mass weddings were the rule for all weddings in Catholicism until about 1400. Before that, weddings were not allowed to be conducted inside the church building as the church building was used strictly for worship, and weddings were not considered to be worship.
 
I … am honestly surprised by the selfishness in this thread. I really get a ‘I don’t care about anyone but me and Jesus’ vibe and I find it surprising.

I actually DO care about the salvation of my family and friends and as stated earlier I have no desire to do ANYTHING that would turn them away from the Church. Including making them feel deliberately and pointedly excluded during our wedding.

God has blessed our union and has been working in powerful ways in our life in just the short month since we’ve been married and He has ALSO been working in the lives of our family. We could have decided the wedding was all about us and screw everyone else but we chose to put our family and friends above us, because honestly I truly feel that’s what God wanted.

So bizarre that so many encourage so much selfishness. Not naming names here, just … disturbed by the general tone coming from some posters.
 
Yep…that’s why I think OP is in a grey(ish?) area as a new convert who doesn’t want her family in a position where they’re only observers at the wedding vs. his family would be participants.
 
JanetF said:
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KMG:
No reason a Mass can’t have Communion for only the bride-groom (and of course the priest, the only person present whose Communion is required). It is quite common in the Tridentine Nuptial Mass for only those 3 to receive Communion.
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So after reading through the entire thread, I’m wondering if asking the priest about this would be the fairest thing to do for both sides?

OP and her fiance are going to have to come to some sort of compromise about this though and I hope they can.
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Agreed. And perhaps Father can offer the grooms family communion in the sacristy after the Wedding Mass
 
cbirtell said:
But I want it in the Mass and only him and I receive it. For the sake of my family and all my friends and wanting it to be a special moment between us.
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This isn’t really a thing I’m afraid. If you have a mass, all the Catholics present are entitled to receive. The special moment between you and him is when you say the vows.

I would say if you are both Catholic, do try to have a mass. Even if some of your family can’t receive.
 
Our Priest told us it is doable to have private communion and a Mass wedding.
 
I think it depends on the Priest cause he told us its in the Rite.
 
Ok. I’ve never heard of it before. I always thought that every Catholic was allowed to receive at any mass.
 
AdamP88 said:
Ok. I’ve never heard of it before. I always thought that every Catholic was allowed to receive at any mass.
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No. Priests are required to offer communion at an announced Mass (aka a regularly scheduled parish Mass). But 99% of Wedding Masses are not announced Masses. Aka, they are not regularly scheduled masses for the parish. Wedding Masses are almost essentially the same as a private Mass
 
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cbirtell said:
Our Priest told us it is doable to have private communion and a Mass wedding.
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Again… I think this is what you should do. And see if Father will give communion to his family after mass, in the Sacristy, side altar, etc.
 
In the US there are three options (this website links to the US Bishops’ special marriage website)


Within the Mass, the Eucharist takes place as it does at all Masses

www.foryourmarriage.org

The Order of Celebrating Matrimony Within Mass

The Catholic Order of Matrimony centers around two key moments: the Exchange of Consent and the Nuptial Blessing. Marriage is rooted in the couple’s mutual vows of faithful love and is blessed by God as an image of the marriage between Christ and the Church. The couple’s declaration of...
www.foryourmarriage.org www.foryourmarriage.org

In the second form the Eucharist is optional


Third form would not apply here, it is for marriage between a Catholic and an unbaptized person.
 
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