Catholic with a Protestant Husband

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KaleidoscopeEyes

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Hi there,

To give a quick background: I am a cradle Catholic (baptised and confirmed) who left the church altogether for about 10 years. My husband is a Nondenominational Protestant and helped lead me back to Christ a few years ago through a Nondenominational Christian Church. In the past year though, I have felt a major pull back to my Catholic roots, and through researching heavily, have accepted the Catholic Church’s teachings. We now attend both a Catholic Church service and a Nondenominational Christian service (different from the one I came back to Christ in) every Sunday together, which has been working for us up until this week.

So now onto my question; my husband really wants to become more active at his church and have us both join a discipleship group which will discuss the Bible together. So far I have no found major issue between Catholicism and this Nondenominational Church; only that the fullness of faith is not there as it is in Catholicism. I have also felt and have seen the Lord working in this Nondenominational Church (I am referring to Catechism of the Catholic Church #819). And I have spoken to the pastor’s there and have expressed that I am a Catholic and that I am there in support of my husband, and they have acknowledged me as a follower of Christ and have welcomed me. My issue with joining this group is that I fear I may be singled out in a small group setting studying the Bible; an easy target I should say, and that makes me uncomfortable. But I am willing to do it because I feel secure in my faith. And also that I would be letting my husband lead spiritually, which is Biblical, all without causing me to sin or go against my morals or that of the Church. Maybe even through this experience, I could show my husband (or even others in the group) the reasons for my own faith and that of the Catholic Church, dispelling myths or incorrect thoughts on the Catholic Church.

What would you do in my situation? What are some tips you would recommend for a lone Catholic defending her faith?
 
First, return to the Church. Talk to your local parish priest concerning your marital status, then, once you are able, return to the Sacraments.

Secondarily, read. Rome Sweet Home and Why We’re Catholic are two great ones. Arm yourself with good resources so you’re prepared to take on what is thrown at you.
 
Thank you for your reply. I am part of a good Catholic Church here and have been working with my Priest to get our marriage convalidated in the Church.

Thank you for your book recommendations, I will look into those!
 
That is what I fear, that I will be singled out, instead of finding common ground. I have no fear of leaving the Catholic Church. I have intellectually, spiritually and in my heart have accepted Catholicism and there is no looking back. I pray the rosary daily and I am in my Bible consistently. I go to confession consistently. But I just feel stuck and don’t know how to support my husband the best way. I feel like denying going to this study would be pulling him from Christ and a deeper understanding of the Bible, which I feel is a contradiction to my role as a wife. I am supposed to bring him closer to Christ and be an example of Christ’s love.

Thank you so much for that Common Ground study! That looks amazing and I will definitely ask if we could do that!
 
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Make sure you are as prepared as you can be, apologetically.
If, for some reason, they kick you out/ ostracize you, that’s their fault. Continue to study at home with your husband.
 
Dear KaleidoscopeEyes,

One thing they will use against you is the extra books the Catholic church added to the Bible. Make sure you know the histpry of the Bible Canon so that you can show them tht as Bible Chritians they have thrown away 10% of the Bible.

You might also read The Biblical Basis for the Catholic Faith by John Salza. That way you will know when they are wrong in their interpretation.

Also, if it comes up, ask them when their church was founded and by whom?

Patrick
AMDG
 
Brittany said:
I recommend learning lots of apologetics (just a little bit at a time so as not to burn yourself out quickly) so you can defend your faith, but wait until you’re asked questions. Don’t walk into a Nondenominational Bible study and challenge them; it is, after all, a Nondenominational Bible study. If they ask you questions or if they challenge you, then feel free to give them the Catholic answer
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I’ve found that the challenge is in distinguishing between Catholic and non-Catholic interpretations of the Bible. After all, unless the OP is well-versed in how the Catholic Church interprets various parts of the Bible, how will she tell the difference between what is in line with authentic Church teaching and what is not? And, in the context of a Bible study with folks whom you like and trust, won’t there be the risk of accepting (potentially non-Catholic) teachings and interpretations?
KaleidoscopeEyes said:
And also that I would be letting my husband lead spiritually, which is Biblical, all without causing me to sin or go against my morals or that of the Church.
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What if they did teach things – with quotations from Scripture – that go against Catholic teachings and morals? What then?
 
Thank you for your response. That is a really good point about the original Bible Canon. I will have to sharpen up my knowledge on that.
That sounds like a great book; I will definitely look into that as well!
 
Thank you for your response, Brittany, and for responding in a what you would do manner. I completely agree that I should not go on the offensive. I feel that I am a very respectful person of others beliefs. It’s only when I am attacked for my own beliefs that I am upset by it. They may be fine and not attack my beliefs, but I just want to be prepared in case they do.
 
Thank you for your response, Gorgias. You bring up some good points. As to your first point, that does concern me. But I have to believe that if I am fervently persueing the correct knowledge through the Catholic Church, that I am going to Mass, that I am observing God’s commandments, that I am seeking Him through Prayer and the rosary for discernment; that God will forgive my ignorance. As those who do not know of God, and are, therefore, ignorant through no fault of their own are given grace by the Catholic Church (Catechism of the Catholic Church #847 and #822).
As to your second point, If they did teach things that went against Catholic teachings and morals and I did identify it, I would have to respect it as their belief and not my own. If I didn’t know the correct rebuttal, I would have to find it.
 
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I go to my husbands non denominational Bible study and it’s been fine. They know I am Catholic and have been a very supportive group of people.
 
You’ve gotten pretty good advice from others so far which is probably the same as I would give anyway. However, I just wanted you to know that I think it’s great that you are doing this to support your husband.

It’s an opportunity for you to perhaps share the Catholic POV with others who have never heard it. You may come across areas of Scripture that you aren’t as knowledgeable in yet and it will facilitate your own study of how the Church interprets them. It may also open up pathways of discussion in your marriage for your husband to get a deeper understanding of the Catholic faith as you talk about the topics that are covered in the study outside of the actual meeting time. Lastly, if there are any kind of talks or studies done at your parish, he can return the favor of support and go with you. You are keeping unity in your marriage rather than division and that’s a good thing.
 
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KaleidoscopeEyes said:
If I didn’t know the correct rebuttal, I would have to find it.
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Right, but to my experience (having both attended and led Bible studies), Catholics generally don’t know Scripture well. I attended one study where some well-meaning Catholics were teaching the Rapture and I was all like “hey! that’s not what the Church teaches!”, but many of the folks were accepting it… simply by virtue of the fact that it was being taught and that they didn’t know otherwise. That’s the danger, from my perspective: hearing (but not recognizing) teaching that’s not Catholic (or opposed to Catholic) teaching.

Good luck! I’ll pray for you and your husband!
 
I would suggest that you log in to “The Coming Home” network for help in your situation.

They may be able to let you get in touch with someone of a similar situation as you are.

hope this helps.
 
I suggest you go in with an open mind as a lot of non denom studies are more “what this passage means to me” rather than hard core theology. So you’ll have to feel out the situation.

I suggest the entire series on Apologetics by Frank Chacon. They are workbooks that should take you through most of what you will need.
 
KaleidoscopeEyes said:
So now onto my question; my husband really wants to become more active at his church and have us both join a discipleship group which will discuss the Bible together. So far I have no found major issue between Catholicism and this Nondenominational Church; only that the fullness of faith is not there as it is in Catholicism.
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“fullness of faith”, or “fullness of truth” are very popular phrases. IMV, they can become misleading for Catholics as well as all those who are not Catholic. I say that because the phrase can lead someone to think they who aren’t Catholic have enough faith to be saved, even though they aren’t Catholic and don’t have the “fullness”. They think they are just fine where they are with THEIR faith. In their mind, unity with Our Lord’s Church, the Catholic Church, is irrelevant, optional, not a requirement. They are wrong. One only has to look at all the scriptures that condemn division from the Church Jesus is building on Peter and those in union with Peter.
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KaleidoscopeEyes:
My issue with joining this group is that I fear I may be singled out in a small group setting studying the Bible; an easy target I should say, and that makes me uncomfortable. But I am willing to do it because I feel secure in my faith. And also that I would be letting my husband lead spiritually, which is Biblical, all without causing me to sin or go against my morals or that of the Church. Maybe even through this experience, I could show my husband (or even others in the group) the reasons for my own faith and that of the Catholic Church, dispelling myths or incorrect thoughts on the Catholic Church.
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If you can, given the setting, explain in a way, that fits with the bible study you are on at the time,THEN offer the information as it relates to the subject matter… If you know what I’m saying 😃
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KaleidoscopeEyes:
What would you do in my situation? What are some tips you would recommend for a lone Catholic defending her faith?
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Keep doing double duty. Even if your husband doesn’t join you at mass. Your example will speak volumes. Plus show him why mass is required (not a suggestion to do) for you to attend faithfully on Sunday and holy days of obligation, open this link Does God call people to be separate from Catholic Eucharist - #139 by steve-b .

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, you have no life in you; 54 he who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. 55 For my flesh is food indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. 56 He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. 57 As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so he who eats me will live because of me. 58 This is the bread which came down from heaven, not such as the fathers ate and died; he who eats this bread will live for ever.” From Jn6:48-66 RSVCE - I am the bread of life. Your fathers - Bible Gateway
 
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I would imagine since they are nondenominational you will encounter the more basic yet complex problem of them not having catechist or any real grounded belief. If they pin you down remember there will be a lot of disagreement about just how literal to interpret the Bible

Did God flood the whole earth?
Is the world ~6000 yo? He really created it in 6 days, etc.
Should we really rest on the first day of the week instead of the 7th( this is only done due to tradition, nothing in the Bible).
Do they believe in the trinity, why?

Go with your husband, and maybe he will realize how empty it is. For a while you could say I was nondenominational but that was simply because I was not sure what church I wanted to join; I converted to Catholicism 😃
 
Why can you not bring him closer to Christ in his own faith?

But attending a close knit Bible study group likely is not going to be the way or to help as it will end in tears regardless of how sincere the others are. Choose activities that are not quite so close within everybody’s more sensitive and personal “Church space.” It is just a fact that Catholics and Prots interpret the Bible differently so you will likely passively threaten other members of the group.

Hopefully your husband should be able to understand the wisdom of this and involve you some other way.
 
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