Catholicism is making me go insane

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Hermione:
I don’t understand how you people can be Catholic and sane. At this point, I feel like this faith is destroying my happiness, my sanity, and for that matter my whole life.

Thinking about God, and sin, and Hell is making me feel naseous, overwhelmed, and like the only way out is nonexistence (which is not an alternative in Catholicism).

I can’t even believe that there was once a time when I was happy, free, and at peace.

I can’t even feel safe about my future. I am supposed to choose between leaving the man I love, burning in Hell, or having a bunch of children who will overwhelm me to the point of insanity and make my life miserable. And even if I stay alone and not worry about this, I’ll still be in constant fear of sin, and Hell, and all of that.

I feel like I will never have anything but torment. And on top of that God will probably burn me because I’ve made statements that expressed hatred for Catholicism.

In addition, Catholicism might not even be true and I am killing myself for nothing.

At this point, I am really hoping I’ll lose faith and gain SANITY.

It’s so hard to believe that the teachings of a supposedly loving God can do this to a human being. Where’s the love and peace and joy? It’s not like I"m an immoral person. I was doing my best to follow Jesus’ teachings. All I got in return was the destruction of my whole being.

P.S. I just measured my blood pressure and it’s 160/90 when normally it is 110/60. Great faith.
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It sounds as if the devil is really tempting you right now. He can tempt us to scupples and make things become unbearable. Just as certain people may know how to “push out buttons”, so the devil also knows how to attack each person in just the right way. Maybe he fears the good he knows you will do, and is trying his best to stop it ahead of time. For now you should probably not focus of God’s justice, but rather on His Mercy, which is infinite.

This may also be a good time to go to confession. Sometimes confession will give us the peace we are looking for.

You are going through a reall hard time right now. Consider that Jesus also went through an agonizing time in the gardem of gethsemeni. Maybe you could unite your agony to His and bring good out of this trial. That way you can turn a negative into a positive and frustrate the devil, who is certainly tempting you right now.

Hang in there and God bless. We’re all praying for you.
 
Dear Hermione,

The way Catholicism is taught, practiced and passed on in this society ridden with sinful people, cafeteria priests, and sometimes schizophrenic body of teachings from bishops, it has had this effect on many more people than we probably know.

Anyone who has been locked in a looney bin knows that confusion over religion is a common symptoms in psychos of all faiths, and in particular those who take their faith very seriously – too seriously for the good of their own flesh.

For that matter, Jesus took His faith too seriously for the good of His own flesh. Some thought he was crazy, too.

I suspect that if Jesus were walking the earth today, psychiatrists and the like would want to lock him up just as much as the church authorities.

The key is to balance the kataphatic tradition of the Church where we all presume to know what God is and tell each other how God thinks about this or that, with the apophatic tradition which is the contemplative unknowing of God. This can bring about true healing at the hands of the Divine Therapist, a.k.a. the Holy Spirit, greater than any healing that the world’s medicine can even hope to bring. I know because I went through all this personally.

Until Vatican II clarified that holiness is for everyone, the apophatic tradition has been largely relegated to the religious orders in recent years.

Hermione, perhaps you might benefit from finding some groups who practice Catholic forms of contemplative prayer and/or reading about mystical theology (the science of love) or other mystical material such as the Dark Night of the Soul or the Cloud of the Unknowing. Without the apophatic tradition, we might not have had our great mystics.

Alan
 
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Hermione:
I don’t understand how you people can be Catholic and sane. At this point, I feel like this faith is destroying my happiness, my sanity, and for that matter my whole life.

Thinking about God, and sin, and Hell is making me feel naseous, overwhelmed, and like the only way out is nonexistence (which is not an alternative in Catholicism).

I can’t even believe that there was once a time when I was happy, free, and at peace.
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by your own testimony it is not the Catholic faith that is at the root of your unhappiness, it is your preoccupation with hell, sin and a warped view of God, which ignores His Providence and Divine Mercy. this view is at odds with Catholic teaching. Your help is in Jesus Christ, whom, by the testimony of all you have shared with us, you are just beginning to know, yet whom you have not yet experienced in his mercy, forgiveness and healing. The route to this knowledge is the sacraments, particulary penance and communion. You need spiritual direction badly, because you are making life altering decisions based on a mis-shapen view of God, his commandments, and church doctrine. We are all praying for you.

If there are commandments of God that you have recently become aware of in their full implication, it behooves you to seek out authentic Catholic teaching and application of these moral rules and prescriptions for happiness ordained by God, rather than relying on fallible testimony of humans, or your own limited experience. repeat, we are all praying for you.
 
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puzzleannie:
by your own testimony it is not the Catholic faith that is at the root of your unhappiness, it is your preoccupation with hell, sin and a warped view of God, which ignores His Providence and Divine Mercy. this view is at odds with Catholic teaching. Your help is in Jesus Christ, whom, by the testimony of all you have shared with us, you are just beginning to know, yet whom you have not yet experienced in his mercy, forgiveness and healing.
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Dear puzzleannie,

I agree it is the warped view rather than the teachings themselves.

Unfortunately, I think too many parents and Catholic school teachers tend to resort too quickly and too frequently to threats for an average impressionable child to keep it in perspective. Threats are important if they are really true, but they cannot, by themselves, properly condition the soul. After all, the whole reason for reminders of threats is to keep a certain anxiety level intended to employ the subconscious to internalize certain fears, and Paul said not to be anxious at all.

Alan
 
Some more suggestions…Hope it helps…
  1. the cliché “let go, let God” is a cliché because it really does help. Stop trying to be perfect because you are afraid, but let God perfect you by following his will and TRUSTING him. (I know–it IS easier said than done…but just keep reminding yourself…)
  2. We are praying for you, but you should pray for yourself as well (and pray for others who suffer in the same way you do). But don’t get wrapped up in listing your problems to Him–focus on Him helping your unbelief. “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief.” That’s from Matthew.
  3. The Chaplet of Divine Mercy.
4)Christopher West’s “A Crash Course in the Theology of the Body”. I’ve got it on CD and it really has helped me understand how Satan has twisted the good in this world so that beautiful gifts from God become confusing and warped in our perception. It will help you understand the beauty and dignity in Natural Family Planning.
  1. Patience. (Again, so much easier to say than to practice). I like little ejaculatory prayers and crossing myself when I begin to get frustrated. I say the one above in #2 and another that I made up–“Mother Mary, stand beside me. To our Lord and Savior, guide me.” I also will think of my guardian angel and know that I am never alone because God has provided.
  2. Read Job. When things go wrong I try (I fail at it a lot–but I continue to try) to unite it to Christ’s suffering on the cross. My frustrations and doubts seem so minor when I consider others who’s suffering is much more profound. This is not to minimize the pain you feel–I know sometimes it is unbearable–but we do bear it–sometimes more gracefully than other times. I consciously lift up my hurt, frustration, pain, dis-ease, to God–and I try to remember that (as JPII was so good at seeing) it is a gift to be able to offer our pains to the Lord. I also pray that someday I will be able to see my suffering as the blessing I know it is.
I wish you peace!
 
The only problem is that I feel if I turn back to Catholicism I’ll feel so overwhelmed with examinations of conscience, fear, guilt, etc. that I’ll self destruct completely.
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Believe me … Just because you turn away, doesn’t mean the truth ceases to exist. I firmly believe the more close you become to the faith the more the devil trys to tempt you away.

When was the last time you had the sacrament of reconciliation? I cry through it every time I go … but it makes a world of difference. I make a lot of mistakes, but every time I am forgiven, it gets a little easier to do more of the right things and less of the wrongs.

It’s a long road we travel, please try to remember you are not traveling it alone!
 
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pietalover:
When was the last time you had the sacrament of reconciliation? !
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ABSOLUTELY! and instead of “fearing Hell” focus on being sorry for your failings because it is beneath the dignity given you by the All-Good God–because He loves you and it offends Him that sin corrupts (and harms) His good creation–you.
 
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Hermione:
Thanks everyone for your kind replies. 🙂

I feel like the only way for me to avoid complete nervous breakdown and destruction would be to leave Catholicism. But there is the fear of “what if it’s true, then I’m definitely going to burn.”

For all the bad things that the faithful sometimes say about atheists and atheism, I feel that I would have so much peace now if I were an atheist. I wouldn’t have to worry about being sent to Hell for not perfectly obeying God. I would just love life, love people, do good things, and be happy and SANE.

I don’t want to lose my sanity. I don’t know all this about bearing crosses… what’s the point of this? It’s hurting me and it’s making me wish I could leave Catholicism. God could end all this by simply coming to me, reassuring me of His existence and of His love for me. Or He could modify my mind to take this living Hell away.

None of this is happening. I’ve been getting progressively worse and worse over the months. I keep wishing that I had never come to know what Catholicism is.

I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but this religion has devastated everything about my person and my life.
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Hermione, this may sound like a strange thing to say – and certainly the depth of your distress is NOT what God wants for you – but in a certain way, your distress is a *gift *from God because you care.

Now relax! Take your eyes off yourself. Love God. Hope in him. “Delight thou in the Lord, and he shall give thee thy heart’s desire.” Ps. 37:4
 
having trouble negotiating this thread, but somebody up there complained that too often Church teaching is reduced to threats to compel children to obey, and children hear the threats, but not the love behind them.

If there is a roadblock up ahead that says “Danger, Road Closed, Bridge Out” is that a threat or a warning? Implied is the threat that if you continue on this road, your car will go off the road into the river and you will drown. Is the person who put the sign in place bad, malicious because he gave you that warning? Would he be kinder, more pastoral, more sensitive if he refrained from scaring you? True, you would not be scared to drive on that road, but all the same, your car would go into the river, along with those who had the warning but disregarded it.

If your doctor tells you, “lose weight, eat right, stop smoking, get more exercise, manage stress, or you will not live to see your children grow up” is that a threat or a warning? Is he being unkind, insensitive, unjust by telling you the truth?

both of those “threats” or “warnings” were motivated by disinterested love and concern for the safety and life of individuals, do we condemn the messenger because some people disregard the message, proceed to follow their own inclinations straight to death?
 
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Hermione:
I don’t understand how you people can be Catholic and sane. At this point, I feel like this faith is destroying my happiness, my sanity, and for that matter my whole life.

Thinking about God, and sin, and Hell is making me feel naseous, overwhelmed, and like the only way out is nonexistence (which is not an alternative in Catholicism).

I can’t even believe that there was once a time when I was happy, free, and at peace.

I can’t even feel safe about my future. I am supposed to choose between leaving the man I love, burning in Hell, or having a bunch of children who will overwhelm me to the point of insanity and make my life miserable. And even if I stay alone and not worry about this, I’ll still be in constant fear of sin, and Hell, and all of that.

I feel like I will never have anything but torment. And on top of that God will probably burn me because I’ve made statements that expressed hatred for Catholicism.

In addition, Catholicism might not even be true and I am killing myself for nothing.

At this point, I am really hoping I’ll lose faith and gain SANITY.

It’s so hard to believe that the teachings of a supposedly loving God can do this to a human being. Where’s the love and peace and joy? It’s not like I"m an immoral person. I was doing my best to follow Jesus’ teachings. All I got in return was the destruction of my whole being.

P.S. I just measured my blood pressure and it’s 160/90 when normally it is 110/60. Great faith.
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The highest joy to the Christian almost always comes through suffering. “No flower can bloom in paradise which is not transplanted from gethsemane. The crown is after the cross.”

He who wishes to glory in things apart from Christ, however, shall not be grounded in true joy or gladdened in his heart, but shall be burdened and distressed in many ways. St francis de sales said “so vast the joys that I await, no earthly labor seemeth great.”

All of the saints bore adversity in their lives, all of them rejoiced at the privilege of suffering. We to will find joy in adversity if we exercise more faith, more humility, more patience. John Paul II had said “penance is not just an effort, a weight, but also a joy. Sometimes it is a great joy of the human spirit, a delight that other sources cannot bring forth.” We should seek the great joy of conversion (metanoia) and the joy of penitence. God gives us the grace to love Him and find our joy in Him. St. Paul says “rejoice in the Lord always” the happiness beyond all happiness comes from loving God and feeling oneself loved by Him. As the angel said to the shepherds in the fields; “I bring you good news of great joy”
 
My little sister – Please, check with your priest about a good Catholic councilor.

God sent us the Holy Spirit as the Comforter – ask the Holy Spirit for that comfort, then trust in God’s love and mercy.

For the rest of your life, God will not send so many children you will go insane – just trust and obey God. You do not have to make these decisions today or next week or next year, you are young have a lifetime ahead of you.

All I can do is pray for you, and I am praying for you. Can you get to adoration? Just sit with Jesus and pour out your heart.
 
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Hermione:
Thank you again everyone,

UKcatholicGuy, at the instant you were praying for me I was lying face down on the bed, but I actually felt some sense of peace. Thank you for praying, maybe it worked.

The “Footprints” thing made me cry, thank you for that too.

Thank you everyone else for your support and prayers.

You know, I want to believe in a loving God. I don’t want to be a bad person. I want to do good things. I want to love people, I want to study, I want to raise a family (only I don’t want so many kids that I’ll go insane).

The only problem is that I feel if I turn back to Catholicism I’ll feel so overwhelmed with examinations of conscience, fear, guilt, etc. that I’ll self destruct completely.

😦

I wish there was another way.
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I’m going to suggest this to you again. I don’t think you are going to get your answers from these forums. You seem to be a target for people who are out for thier own agenda unfortunatley.

I HIGHLY suggest reading a book by Peter Kreeft called “The God Who Loves You”. Kreeft is a Boston College Philosphy / Theology professor who is widely respected. This particular book empahsizes a God of love. A perspective I think you could use right now. There are parts that are a little difficult but basically it is a fairly easy read.

You will walk away from this book not thinking of a God who tosses souls into fire but a God who loves you with a deeper love then you can imagine.
 
God isn’t doing it to you…you are doing it to your self. It isn’t always easy to live as a good and faithful CAtholic…we will stumble along the way…but they alternative leads to damnation.
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Hermione:
I don’t understand how you people can be Catholic and sane. At this point, I feel like this faith is destroying my happiness, my sanity, and for that matter my whole life.

Thinking about God, and sin, and Hell is making me feel naseous, overwhelmed, and like the only way out is nonexistence (which is not an alternative in Catholicism).

I can’t even believe that there was once a time when I was happy, free, and at peace.

I can’t even feel safe about my future. I am supposed to choose between leaving the man I love, burning in Hell, or having a bunch of children who will overwhelm me to the point of insanity and make my life miserable. And even if I stay alone and not worry about this, I’ll still be in constant fear of sin, and Hell, and all of that.

I feel like I will never have anything but torment. And on top of that God will probably burn me because I’ve made statements that expressed hatred for Catholicism.

In addition, Catholicism might not even be true and I am killing myself for nothing.

At this point, I am really hoping I’ll lose faith and gain SANITY.

It’s so hard to believe that the teachings of a supposedly loving God can do this to a human being. Where’s the love and peace and joy? It’s not like I"m an immoral person. I was doing my best to follow Jesus’ teachings. All I got in return was the destruction of my whole being.

P.S. I just measured my blood pressure and it’s 160/90 when normally it is 110/60. Great faith.
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Whoa!!! I’ve got it.

I’ve been reading a good part of this thread.
Bear with me, will you?

Been thru all of this, a *hellish *experience.
But last night, thinking about what had
been posted on this thread, I realized something:
the FORM hyperanxiety took for me was religious:
hell/scrupulosity etc.

At the time, no amount of reasoning, exhortation,
counsels to “trust God” could get through to me.
*
My problem was psychological, not spiritual.
It was a medical problem and needed medical
assistance [medications, rest, treatment].

I think it fair to say that the type of catechesis
that I was treated to as a child exacerbated the
medical condition.

The chronically healthy [to borrow a phrase]
understandably see an exaggerated fear of hell
as a spiritual problem to be addressed by
spiritual means. Good. Pray for the person
who tells you that they are suffering in this
way.

No one would suggest that someone with a
ruptured appendix spend an hour of adoration.
The human thing to do at that moment is call
an ambulance. Then you go to adoration for
that person. Same thing with psychological
stress of great magnitude.

Does anybody at all get what I’m saying?

At such times, the last thing in the world
I should do is think religious thoughts. My
mind needed to be calmed by medication,
my thoughts slowed down, much needed
sleep and rest assisted by medication,
outside situations causing high stress
reduced to a minimum.

The *truly *spiritual thing I can do is to cooperate
in medical treatment. To learn methods of
negotiating high levels of anxiety…medication,
extra rest, relaxation skills…yes, skills.

From one who’s been there,

reen12
Thanks for listening.*
 
Hermonie, one thing my priest told me really sticks out in my head, he said " do you really think God is just waiting around the corner for you to screw up so he can jump out and say, a ha gotcha? No way, he is a loving and forgiving God, he fully knows we are going to screw up many, many times a day, and he loves us even when we do really stupid things, he loves us even when we sin against him and the church, he just keeps calling us back to him" Hermonie, I know I mess up many times in a day and so I go to God many times in a day and I ask for help and I ask for forgiveness and he knows that my heart is true and that I am sorry for my messing up and I know that God holds no records of wrongs when you ask him to forgive you no many how many times a day you have to do it, he forgives you and you start fresh over and over and over, some days more than you can believe, remember, he is Your Father, he loves you so much, he knew you before you were born, you are his child, would a parent not forgive their child?? Would a parent not love that child no matter what?? Of course they would, stop looking at God as the enemy, start looking at him as your Father and your very best friend, when you look at him with those eyes it will take away that fear, he loves you no matter what you do, he is your father, don’t turn from him go to him. 👍
 
Kamz, please thank your priest for me. What a wonderful man he is - and what a wonderful way to put it.

Hermie…honey, relax…I am going to suggest you look into counseling with a professional - and there is a website for Catholic Counselors!

I am 49 years old, a widow, a recovering alcoholic, sometimes lonely, sometimes overwhelmed and sometimes happier than I could ever imagine. Life is not always insane, but it is not always perfect; it is, however, always rich and full.

I used to make my choices out of fear, also, like you are expressing and that is just not the way to live our lives. JPII quoted Our Lord all the time : BE NOT AFRAID.

Calm down. The Catholic Church is the true Church and the truth is not bad or punishing or mean or divisive…it is love and it is wholeness and it is beauty. Make your decisions based on what Christ would have you do, according to the Catechism of the Church and I guarantee you, you will have a life that is second to NONE.

Trust, sweetie, trust.😉
 
And you are all pretty wonderful people in this forum, the way you rush to help each other…
 
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Thal59:
***Hermione, the passengers of the Titanic put their blind faith in one of man’s creations and look what happened to them. I know many people of Protestant denominations who put such blind faith in Sola Scriptura and Sola Fide that they are ripe to be blindsided by the devil because they believe that faith in the Lord will shield them from all dangers or even inconveniences. ***

That is a great analogy!! I remember when I was younger I also thought the only way to be a good Catholic was to give up on life and submitt to pain and misery. I have since out grown that thought and that is because, instead of leaving the church I made it a point to try to understand Her. You need to pray and the Holy Spirit will lead you. Remember the words of John Paul II “Be Not Afraid” continue to question, but remember to Love God with all your heart, soul, and body and the rest will take care of itself. It’s Love that concurs our fear and it’s love that Jesus came into this world.I will pray for you and please pray for me.

God Bless,
Kathleen
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How about this analogy?

150 years ago, a physical disease was overtaking
one village and town after another. The leading
lights of the day came up with the theory of
“phlogiston”, a substance that they postulated
caused the disease. Their solution?
The city fathers set out smudge-pots around the
city to try to ward off this physical threat.

Years later, when the microbic theory of disease
was forumulated, genuine progress was made.

The parallel? Researchers today are looking into
brain structure, chemical messengers called
neurotransmitters and a host of other factors
that generate psychological difficulties…independent
of a person’s religious beliefs or lack thereof.

The “phlogiston” theory of our own day, I believe,
is to treat some psychological difficulties as if
these are generated by spiritual difficulties.
To me, it’s as if Fulton Sheen were still on TV,
and severe scrupulosity was a pastoral problem.
It’s not 1955. It’s 2005. Treat the medical problem
first…or even concurrently…with spiritual solutions.

To do anything less, to me, is a form of blaming
the victim.

reen12
 
Hermione

I have been praying for you. There are is a lot of good advice within this thread. I am going to try to make it simple for you.

Do not understimate the power of the grace of God. God knows we can’t get to heaven on our own, which is why he sent His son to die for us. You have been baptized, which wiped you clean of your sins. Go to confession and confess what you can remember and forget about what you can’t recall. Be grateful that God has seen to it that we can recieve complete and total cleansing through the sacrament of pennance. Recieve the Eucharist as often as you can, and pray whenever you feel the need. Above all put your total trust in God and His grace, instead of relying on yourself and you will find peace.

It’s that simple.
 
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