Catholics posting public messages not in keeping with Church

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Kathryn_Ann

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*From self proclaimed “Catholics” on Facebook asking one to “like” the latest same- sex “marriage” / family photos from around the country, Hollywood, or the world-

to those who “don’t believe everything the Pope teaches,” and

those openly angry that women are not priests and who are “Pro- choice”:

at one point does a Catholic friend or acquaintance either admonish these people publicly or does one continue to say nothing at all?

Are these folks testing us?

What happens if we say nothing to these “Catholic” friends about these postings? How far does political correctness go?

I have several dear, compassionate friends who astonish me by some of these beliefs, yet who are kind people who do much for their communities and who are not at all vicious by nature. I feel that to say anything would wound them, yet still the postings continue as if nothing at all is out of the ordinary.

What would our Heavenly Father have us do as these kinds of public comments escalate by self proclaimed “Catholics?”

What would you do in this situation: Would you comment on a FB posting (coming from a “Catholic” friend) requesting you to “like” a same sex “marriage” photo or would you remain quiet? How long would you remain quiet about this?

Your thoughts welcome.*
 
Yes, I would say something, and I would not “like” those posts. In fact if Facebook had a “dislike” button I’d be sorely tempted to click that instead.

People like this do tremendous damage to our Church. They must be contained, IMO. Not confronted in an angry way, but a righteous way. They are the product of terrible catechism and a lax heterodox clergy in some cases. They are trying to treat our Holy Mother Church as just another denomination that they can change from the inside, as though our traditions do not matter one whit! Some of them are outright heretics!

Chances are good that they will unfriend you immediately, or right after they flame you in response. But you are very kind and I am sure you will find a way to say it as nicely as possible.

By the way, anyone who has to ask friends to “like” their posts…is lame. 🤷
 
If you were feeding all the poor in your city but sleeping with your best friend’s husband, you’d still be in need of correction. Either the situation calls for correction, then, or it does not. This depends on a) whether you have any office to correct and b) whether you have any hope of effecting good by making the correction.

If you’re going to correct a brother, do so privately first, then with the help of others, and so on, as the Lord directs in the Gospel.

If it is going to be a pearls-before-swine situation, the exercise of prudence allows you to let it drop. For instance, if someone has already told you that they are not going to amend based on the correction of the Pope, well, that is a hint as to how a correction on Facebook is going to go, isn’t it? A good idea, if you want to be told you are more Catholic than the Pope.

If someone asks you directly what is and is not true, you have to advocate for the truth, but you do not have to take on the whole internet if you are only going to be vilified for your effort. That’s my opinion. It is my intention to advise you within the teaching of the Church, but I’m not saying anything that comes directly from any pastoral letter or document.
 
Kathryn_Ann said:
What happens if we say nothing to these “Catholic” friends about these postings? How far does political correctness go?

I have several dear, compassionate friends who astonish me by some of these beliefs, yet who are kind people who do much for their communities and who are not at all vicious by nature. I feel that to say anything would wound them, yet still the postings continue as if nothing at all is out of the ordinary.

What would our Heavenly Father have us do as these kinds of public comments escalate by self proclaimed “Catholics?”

What would you do in this situation: Would you comment on a FB posting (coming from a “Catholic” friend) requesting you to “like” a same sex “marriage” photo or would you remain quiet? How long would you remain quiet about this?

Your thoughts welcome.
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I think one should consider that people really and truly believe the way they are posting — just like you do. So keep in mind that whatever message you send them might be received as well (or not as well) as one of them sending you a message that you find repugnant, or otherwise against your beliefs and values. I think it’s different when asked something in person, as opposed to coming across something on another person’s blog or Facebook. In person, there is an opportunity for dialog and education. You can also get a feel for what another person really believes and values in person. It’s more difficult online, and truth be told, those persons may not be in the least interested in what another has to say about the matter (any matter) if it’s contrary to their own beliefs and values. If you don’t care about offending or alienating someone, go ahead and comment as you wish. If you feel the person is in some need of education, you can gently correct with quoting from the Catechism or an encyclical. But if you already know the person on the other end has no interest because their beliefs and values are deep-rooted, then it’s up to you, but I don’t see much point in it.

I tend to ignore things I come across in blogs and Facebook type things. But if asked my opinion in real life, I tend to start out by regurgitating Church teaching. If I’m pressed further, I may give my opinion but reiterate Church teaching. I figure, if I’m pressed about what I personally believe or value, I’ll give it, but make sure the person on the other end knows that it’s merely my opinion, and that the Churc is more important to consider than one’s own personal opinions. There are some things I disagree with that the Church teaches, but I don’t want anyone to think those personal opinions are coming from the Church. You probably don’t have that burden though 🙂
 
I feel your pain here, I truly do. Living in Massachusetts my whole life has put me in a similar position with my friends and although I am not on Facebook I have had similar encounters face to face where I just said nothing to avoid a fight. Because of the upcoming election this herectical attitude of poorly catechized Catholics is really ramping up. I have wondered what to do also and I have come to the conclusion that I must “out” myself as a devout Catholic and when one of my cafeteria Catholic friends disses the Church I must stand up for the Church and God. Of course I will be polite but I will also be firm. I have many friends like this who are nice people but nice is not good enough. I have also been praying for my misguided friends but I will no longer endure their snarky comments and not defend the Catholic Church. My friends will just have to deal with it or not be my friend and perhaps they will be shocked into thinking about my point of view. It would do these people good to have someone disagree with them. I hope you can do the same. Have Courage!
 
Demetra2 said:
I feel your pain here, I truly do. Living in Massachusetts my whole life has put me in a similar position with my friends and although I am not on Facebook I have had similar encounters face to face where I just said nothing to avoid a fight. Because of the upcoming election this herectical attitude of poorly catechized Catholics is really ramping up. I have wondered what to do also and I have come to the conclusion that I must “out” myself as a devout Catholic and when one of my cafeteria Catholic friends disses the Church I must stand up for the Church and God. Of course I will be polite but I will also be firm. I have many friends like this who are nice people but nice is not good enough. I have also been praying for my misguided friends but I will no longer endure their snarky comments and not defend the Catholic Church. My friends will just have to deal with it or not be my friend and perhaps they will be shocked into thinking about my point of view. It would do these people good to have someone disagree with them. I hope you can do the same. Have Courage!
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👍👍
 
I have a cousin, and several friends like this. Please just pray for them.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Yes, I would say something, and I would not “like” those posts. In fact if Facebook had a “dislike” button I’d be sorely tempted to click that instead.

People like this do tremendous damage to our Church. They must be contained, IMO. Not confronted in an angry way, but a righteous way. They are the product of terrible catechism and a lax heterodox clergy in some cases. They are trying to treat our Holy Mother Church as just another denomination that they can change from the inside, as though our traditions do not matter one whit! Some of them are outright heretics!

Chances are good that they will unfriend you immediately, or right after they flame you in response. But you are very kind and I am sure you will find a way to say it as nicely as possible.

By the way, anyone who has to ask friends to “like” their posts…is lame. 🤷
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Greetings, TheReal Juliane, Thank you for you wisdom and always- compassionate words. I’m wondering if I might try simply posting something on my own page as to the Church’s teachings in general and * not* asking people to “Like” my post (which I never do) but just posting my support of the Church’s teachings, and how these teachings are not “optional,” but quite the opposite, timeless and true.

Perhaps someone will see this and get the message. And you are right, I’m sure: they may un-friend me both on FB and in person, but that’s one option they have, unlike what they can choose to believe if they are self- proclaimed Catholics.

I’m so glad that the Church is founded on Christ and His eternal truths, aren’t you! Cardinal Dolan said it best the other day, that the Church doesn’t need to keep up with the times. The world needs to accept the Church’s timeless truths. I really appreciated that:-)
 
EasterJoy said:
If you were feeding all the poor in your city but sleeping with your best friend’s husband, you’d still be in need of correction. Either the situation calls for correction, then, or it does not. This depends on a) whether you have any office to correct and b) whether you have any hope of effecting good by making the correction.

If you’re going to correct a brother, do so privately first, then with the help of others, and so on, as the Lord directs in the Gospel.

If it is going to be a pearls-before-swine situation, the exercise of prudence allows you to let it drop. For instance, if someone has already told you that they are not going to amend based on the correction of the Pope, well, that is a hint as to how a correction on Facebook is going to go, isn’t it? A good idea, if you want to be told you are more Catholic than the Pope.

If someone asks you directly what is and is not true, you have to advocate for the truth, but you do not have to take on the whole internet if you are only going to be vilified for your effort. That’s my opinion. It is my intention to advise you within the teaching of the Church, but I’m not saying anything that comes directly from any pastoral letter or document.
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Easter Joy, I love your first example! How true! As I wrote a moment ago to TheRealJuliane, I feel that I could make a general statement that I believe in the eternal truths taught by the Church, and that these truths are not optional if one is to call oneself a Catholic. One must always remain loving and kind, yet firm. Thank you for your reply. I appreciate your thoughts:-)
 
Rence said:
I think one should consider that people really and truly believe the way they are posting — just like you do. So keep in mind that whatever message you send them might be received as well (or not as well) as one of them sending you a message that you find repugnant, or otherwise against your beliefs and values. I think it’s different when asked something in person, as opposed to coming across something on another person’s blog or Facebook. In person, there is an opportunity for dialog and education. You can also get a feel for what another person really believes and values in person. It’s more difficult online, and truth be told, those persons may not be in the least interested in what another has to say about the matter (any matter) if it’s contrary to their own beliefs and values. If you don’t care about offending or alienating someone, go ahead and comment as you wish. If you feel the person is in some need of education, you can gently correct with quoting from the Catechism or an encyclical. But if you already know the person on the other end has no interest because their beliefs and values are deep-rooted, then it’s up to you, but I don’t see much point in it.

I tend to ignore things I come across in blogs and Facebook type things. But if asked my opinion in real life, I tend to start out by regurgitating Church teaching. If I’m pressed further, I may give my opinion but reiterate Church teaching. I figure, if I’m pressed about what I personally believe or value, I’ll give it, but make sure the person on the other end knows that it’s merely my opinion, and that the Churc is more important to consider than one’s own personal opinions. There are some things I disagree with that the Church teaches, but I don’t want anyone to think those personal opinions are coming from the Church. You probably don’t have that burden though 🙂
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Hi, Dear Rence, and thank you for your insight. In one of these situations, I am close friends with the person and her family. It is very hard to understand how they can feel they are Catholics when they angrily protest Church teachings or flaunt their lifestyles which are in direct contradiction to those teachings.

I do think it’s always best to come from compassion and not judge others. It’s the flagrant posting of these same sex “union/marriage” photos that makes me wonder if they are testing the waters of acceptability. No one ever comes forward on these message boards to question these statements, so I imagine they think they are very right and correct in their own version of Catholicism and that the rest of us are behind the times.

Some things are non-negotiable for Catholics: abortion, the acting out of homosexual feelings, same sex unions and marriages. I wonder when people post things opposite to Church teachings if they might actually be wondering if they are alone in their beliefs and want their beliefs to be acknowledged as right and true.

These friends are, as I mentioned so loving and compassionate in their volunteer work and are active in their parishes. They are genuinely concerned for others. Because of this, I have just been shocked at seeing their postings which are so contrary to the Church’s revered and time honored truths. I thank you for your kind reply and ask for your prayers.
 
Demetra2 said:
I feel your pain here, I truly do. Living in Massachusetts my whole life has put me in a similar position with my friends and although I am not on Facebook I have had similar encounters face to face where I just said nothing to avoid a fight. Because of the upcoming election this herectical attitude of poorly catechized Catholics is really ramping up. I have wondered what to do also and I have come to the conclusion that I must “out” myself as a devout Catholic and when one of my cafeteria Catholic friends disses the Church I must stand up for the Church and God. Of course I will be polite but I will also be firm. I have many friends like this who are nice people but nice is not good enough. I have also been praying for my misguided friends but I will no longer endure their snarky comments and not defend the Catholic Church. My friends will just have to deal with it or not be my friend and perhaps they will be shocked into thinking about my point of view. It would do these people good to have someone disagree with them. I hope you can do the same. Have Courage!
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You are brave, Demetra2, and I like your statement that “nice is not good enough!” I marvel at how people just flaunt things so opposite to Church teachings and claim to be part of our Holy Church.

One thing I know is that they are God’s servants, not mine, so He can judge them. I think all one can do is, as you said, stand up for one’s beliefs without apology and while not forcing a confrontation, be willing to stand up for the teachings of the Church. I appreciate your call to Courage! Bless you for your helpful reply:-)
 
Demetra2 said:
I feel your pain here, I truly do. Living in Massachusetts my whole life has put me in a similar position with my friends and although I am not on Facebook I have had similar encounters face to face where I just said nothing to avoid a fight. Because of the upcoming election this herectical attitude of poorly catechized Catholics is really ramping up. I have wondered what to do also and I have come to the conclusion that I must “out” myself as a devout Catholic and when one of my cafeteria Catholic friends disses the Church I must stand up for the Church and God. Of course I will be polite but I will also be firm. I have many friends like this who are nice people but nice is not good enough. I have also been praying for my misguided friends but I will no longer endure their snarky comments and not defend the Catholic Church. My friends will just have to deal with it or not be my friend and perhaps they will be shocked into thinking about my point of view. It would do these people good to have someone disagree with them. I hope you can do the same. Have Courage!
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Ditto to this for me, too. 👍
 
Even if you offer correction, it may still take years and years before a person repents of the error of his or her ways, and it may be that he or she may never repent of them at all.

A soft sell that slowly seeps in may be better with somebody like this than “correction”. It is very possible that by the time this person refrains from error, you will not be in his or her life, and thus you will not know that you have succeeded.

And remember also, that even if you are successful, there may still be lots of backsliding along the way. Probably the best example of backsliding you will ever know about is that person who stares back at you in the mirror. I know that in my case that that mirror guy is the biggest backslider in the history of the world.

Pray for such people, and remember that they have free will. It’s really up to God anyway.
 
Hi, Kathryn Ann. All the posters have given good advice. Prayerfully consider the answers here and ask for guidance in what you say and type.

Since you’re concerned that others who read the Facebook entries will come to false conclusions regarding what practicing Catholics actually believe, or how the Church is perceived, you’ll want to keep your end goal–clarifying our beliefs and improving the false perception–in mind when you speak or write.

Perhaps it would help if you’d role play from the point of view of your friend who posts the objectionable material. I’m guessing that if this friend is in other ways a good Catholic, she is demonstrating that she cares deeply about this couple (or one of the two) by spotlighting them. Maybe she is in a “love the sinner, not the sin” situation and thinks that her actions will let her friends/family know how much she cares about them. If that’s the case, anything you say will likely get her hackles up. If you were she, how would you react?

Rather than comments that will only make her defensive, you might post your interest in the varied topics at this site, a discussion you had with someone at your Church, or your continually learning more about the Church teachings in reading “Such-and-such-book.” In that way, you’d not be reprimanding her, only noting what interests you or feeds your spiritual hunger.

Maybe something like this would get your point across without making you a baddie and thereby cutting off your opportunity to teach by example in the future? “Guess I’ve not been on Facebook much recently. I’ve been spending more and more time at CAF (forums.catholic-questions.org/). I really get involved in the give and take among posters from across the world on every topic you can think of. Right now there are a lot of threads regarding --------- and -------- (ex: the sanctity of marriage) and how those topics tie in with what’s going on in America and the rest of the world and how responsible Catholics should practice their faith. So MANY people are seriously concerned, and here I thought I was about the only one who worried about these issues. Live and learn! Almost every aspect of life is discussed on those boards, so if you’ve wondered where I’ve been, THAT"S where! Honestly, though, you should check the thread titles! EVERYTHING–I mean EVERYTHING–is discussed, from why the Church is so adamantly against abortion to what goes on in the bedroom, and how! The bottom line is that I’m learning more every day about what it means to be Catholic. Hope I can live up to it all. The more I learn, the harder it is!”

Whatever you do, I think your guardian angel will be at your elbow, since you’re giving this issue so much consideration. Best wishes to you.
 
Demetra2 said:
I feel your pain here, I truly do. Living in Massachusetts my whole life has put me in a similar position with my friends and although I am not on Facebook I have had similar encounters face to face where I just said nothing to avoid a fight. Because of the upcoming election this herectical attitude of poorly catechized Catholics is really ramping up. I have wondered what to do also and I have come to the conclusion that I must “out” myself as a devout Catholic and when one of my cafeteria Catholic friends disses the Church I must stand up for the Church and God. Of course I will be polite but I will also be firm. I have many friends like this who are nice people but nice is not good enough. I have also been praying for my misguided friends but I will no longer endure their snarky comments and not defend the Catholic Church. My friends will just have to deal with it or not be my friend and perhaps they will be shocked into thinking about my point of view. It would do these people good to have someone disagree with them. I hope you can do the same. Have Courage!
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Believe me…I can sympathize. I’m from MA too and it’s a huge challenge. Thank goodness my husband and I share the same politics and religion. I feel like it’s us against the whole world sometimes.
I haven’t had any discussions with friends about my beliefs. I steer clear of that train wreck whenever I can. I don’t pick fights and I don’t walk into fights and I’ve gotten rid of Facebook for those reasons. I had a great many friends who were loud and proud about their sexual orientation. In fact, my old roommate was a lesbian who got married a few years ago. I attended their wedding actually…then I reverted back to the faith and decided the easiest way to avoid an argument was to quietly cut ties with her and her friends. I had already quit my job in favor of being a SAHM and we also moved away. But dumping Facebook cut me off from them totally.
I saw her and her partner this past summer and she was genuinely disappointed that I had gotten rid of Facebook. She said she missed me. It was heart breaking but I just smiled and said I’d think about opening my page again.
I try to avoid conversations about certain things like my faith and what it entails. I’ve defended the Church when need be. I do that a lot when I’m in school and someone says something that is totally inaccurate about Christianity or the Church. But I don’t touch social issues.
One fellow airman was raving about how ABC was now free with certain insurances. My boss, who was pregnant, raved about the fact that she was getting her tubes tied after this pregnancy because she was “done having kids.” I was expected to answer and I just said “I don’t take birth control and I haven’t in a few years.”
I left it at that. She can imagine if I’m on IUD or if I’m “just nuts” and want 10 kiddos… 😉

I come to the defense of the Church when She needs it. However, I’ve tried hard to avoid seeing that situation all together.
 
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