Catholics, what if you don't want children during marriage?

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Are you sure about that? Were you actually planned or did you just happen. What will you do if you manage to get pregnant in birth control ( I got pregnant on the injection) will you love and accept that child… birth control is not 100% fool proof
 
mrsdizzyd said:
Church teaching is clear in this regard. You’ve expressed a lot of opinions and declared what you want. What about God and the divine plan?
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What about the divine place? Well, how am I supposed to know? All I know are the goals and ambition I’m working for in my life, and as long as I’m not sinning or hurting anyone, I don’t see how God fits into the equation.
I think the most beautiful thing about life is that we have free reign with our lives. I don’t think God would want for me to have children if that’s what I’m most averse to. God’s a gentleman.
 
Birth control is a Sin so yes you are sinning. And what if God’s plan is for you to have children. If you don’t want children in marriage then the only other option is abstinence or learn NFP however you have to realise NFP isn’t 100% fool proof either
 
And how many times in the Bible people had other goals and ambitions and God had other plans?

Our life’s do not belong to us. Sure, we have free will, but, if we don’t keep our priorities straight, we’ll never become the best versions of ourselves God intended us to be.
 
rom said:
True, but only if your spouse agrees. If your spouse at any time requests it, you are under obligation to grant the request, unless there are other justified reasons (say, health issues) that would prevent you from granting the request.
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Well here’s the thing: doesn’t the wife ever deserve a right to say “no”, even within the confines of marriage? Why doesn’t the wife get some say in HER sexual life? Why is it that the husband is always entitled to sex how he wants, when he wants? You see how this can lead to marital rape?
 
The rules apply to BOTH SEXES. The wife is also entitled to sex unless the husband has good reason.
 
That goes 2 ways if you want sex with your spouse and he doesn’t want it there has to be a valid reason
 
Brendea said:
I am sorry to say this but I feel that you are being Selfish and if you truly feel this way perhaps you should not marry.

Every child is a gift from God,( trust me I know, Ive got 2 children that alot of people who are not pro life would’ve aborted)
They bring so much joy and fill my life with purpose and meaning and whilst it may not give you the same joy, having children is a life changing experience and if you don’t want to feel obligated to sacrifice time for children you don’t want them I suggest you talk to the priest about This.
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Fyi I’m 100% pro-life. If I used birth control (the non-abortifacient type) and still got pregnant, well, I’d try to love the child. If I can’t love the child, I’ll give it up for adoption, where it’ll be with parents who want it. My reasoning is that kids happen to couples whether they want a child or not because it’s simply nature. Not because of divine intervention. And couples who absolutely, positively know they don’t want a child are better off without one. I’d choose birth control because of preventative reasons, not because it destroys a life. What are your thoughts on vasectomies, by the way?
 
Littany_Tiffany said:
as I’m not sinning or hurting anyone, I don’t see how God fits into the equation.
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God is at the CENTER of the equation. This is a misguided view of our duty to God and to neighbor. I think you also have a distorted view of what is and isn’t a sin. We are not the arbiters of what is and isn’t a sin. God is.

Contraception is a sin against the sixth commandment. We are called to conform ourselves to God, not the other way around.
 
Littany_Tiffany said:
Well here’s the thing: doesn’t the wife ever deserve a right to say “no”, even within the confines of marriage? Why doesn’t the wife get some say in HER sexual life? Why is it that the husband is always entitled to sex how he wants, when he wants? You see how this can lead to marital rape?
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Read up on the marital debt, particularly St Augustine. You exchange a right to your body when you marry. You ignored the prior poster who did indeed give examples of legitimately refusing the marital debt.

If one has no legitimate reason to refuse, then one should not and indeed it can be sinful to refuse in such a case.

The husband owes the marital debt to the wife, also. I’m not sure why you are painting it as a one way street.
 
Littany_Tiffany said:
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rom:
True, but only if your spouse agrees. If your spouse at any time requests it, you are under obligation to grant the request, unless there are other justified reasons (say, health issues) that would prevent you from granting the request.
Click to expand...
Well here’s the thing: doesn’t the wife ever deserve a right to say “no”, even within the confines of marriage? Why doesn’t the wife get some say in HER sexual life? Why is it that the husband is always entitled to sex how he wants, when he wants? You see how this can lead to marital rape?
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Rom overstated the marital debt, but it goes both ways. The wife can demand it of the husband, too.
 
Agree! Nobody has the right to impose their will on another, about sex or anything, that is not what marriage or indeed any rship is about. Nowhere does the church say you have to say yes no matter what that’s the sort of thing people used to say in the 50s along with those backward thinking ‘marriage manuals’ with such sage advice as ‘giving her the back of your hand equals love’ and ‘make sure you have his slippers ready and martini fixed for when he comes home’ Not having it
 
Life is really not as simple as, “all or nothing” ie no romance, or romance with lots of babies. Spousal love doesn’t always mean you possess a motherly love, and you can’t conflate the two.
 
Your body belonging to one another does NOT mean you can’t refuse sex. It’s about being available to each other but also respecting each other’s free will
 
A man having a vasectomy is the same as a woman having a hysterectomy and should not be done unless there is a severe medical reason that cannot be treated in another way.
 
Littany_Tiffany said:
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Brendea:
I am sorry to say this but I feel that you are being Selfish and if you truly feel this way perhaps you should not marry.

Every child is a gift from God,( trust me I know, Ive got 2 children that alot of people who are not pro life would’ve aborted)
They bring so much joy and fill my life with purpose and meaning and whilst it may not give you the same joy, having children is a life changing experience and if you don’t want to feel obligated to sacrifice time for children you don’t want them I suggest you talk to the priest about This.
Click to expand...
Fyi I’m 100% pro-life. If I used birth control (the non-abortifacient type) and still got pregnant, well, I’d try to love the child. If I can’t love the child, I’ll give it up for adoption, where it’ll be with parents who want it. My reasoning is that kids happen to couples whether they want a child or not because it’s simply nature. Not because of divine intervention. And couples who absolutely, positively know they don’t want a child are better off without one. I’d choose birth control because of preventative reasons, not because it destroys a life. What are your thoughts on vasectomies, by the way?
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The natural order is God’s doing. You write as if God’s action and nature are separate, as if God only tinkers supernaturally from time to time.
 
Having a child despite birth control means that I have owned up to the fact that there’s a small chance that I’ll have a child. I’d take that responsibility. It’s not the same as knowing that I got pregnant but I could’ve taken preventive measures beforehand.
 
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