I don’t think we are. The deepening of understanding in EENS did not change the fundamental fact that membership in the Church is a necessary part of salvation (i.e. Baptism) and that is the norm, and God’s mercy ‘may’ allow otherwise but we will have to wait and see. There is no little halo that pops up over a person’s head in his lifetime that says “Atheist but accepted God at the point of death and is saved” or “Catholic but cherrypicked and refused to give up her pet interpretations for God’s truth, so damned herself” etc.
A deepening of understanding that would mitigate objective mortal sin that is ONGOING is more problematic. One can for example come to the decision that X, in an invalid union, didn’t really look on it as invalid. . .but then, if that is the case, then X needs to pursue a decree of nullity and only then when he or she has received one and convalidated the marriage, receive, OR live as brother and sister once he or she realizes that, my gosh, there is a problem here, I want to receive but even though I ‘feel right’, I have to follow the steps laid down by the Church in order to be able to receive."
It’s the ongoing part. Maybe X’s first union was in fact not valid. But we cannot simply rely on X’s feelings or perceptions or conscience alone. If X was not aware ‘before’ that remarriage without a decree of nullity was wrong, surely X is aware now. So there is now full knowledge, and there is grave matter. . .what is left. Full consent. . .well here again, there is always the option to say ‘no’. "My husband will leave me and I’ll starve’. . .again, to me this is Catholic 101. . .We may never do evil even if ‘good’ results. It isn’t just ‘words on a page’. If enough women start flooding into their local churches or city halls or neighbor’s homes and say, “We’re starving because my husband wants to force me to have sex against my will” don’t you think the ‘kittycat hat’ people will be up in arms for women’s rights? My gosh, Catholic women could be the figureheads of the next revolution. Priests who brought these women and their families into the churches and begged and bullied the people for food, clothing, and help would start to gain back the respect they’ve lost. The Catholic Church would be seen as the people who stood up for women’s rights in marriage. As it is, you’re giving a license to bullies and victimizing women, “Oh honey, your conscience is troubling you and you want to abstain but hubby wants sex? Well, you just put up and shut up, we’ll pretend it’s ok. After all, his sexual needs are more important than your immortal soul. Men, go ahead and bully the women, we’re in your corner, we’ll pretend you’re not wrong for demanding it against her will.” Very troubling IMO.