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byzmelkite
Guest
Yes I do. I think that they are unknowingly influenced by modernism.
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Ham1
Guest
And I would say that you seem to be unknowingly influenced by the protestant reformation.
Oh well, all the best to you!
Oh well, all the best to you!
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iserve
Guest
I used to think this way, myself. I was the eldest of seven, my father was one of nine, and I have 54 first cousins on that side of my family! I was appalled at the idea that this could be *me, *and I vowed not to ever have a big family. When #3 came along unexpectedly, I vowed not to have any more, and this decision was just one of many that I made around this issue based on stupid social pressures and ideas of my own. I completely reject them all and couldn’t be more sorry. My children give me great satisfaction and the youngest one- the one I was unsure of, is the greatest of them all - her being has renewed my spirit a thousand times. I recognize my own cowardice and selfishness of those days and pray that people will change their minds about this.
Part of the problem is that our own Catholic communities do not support and make welcome large families, and I know that in our parish, we constantly applaud those who have them. Our parish, appropriately named Holy Family, has a healthy attitude towards children of all ages, and we all “help” to raise them. It shouldn’t be abandoned to the poor, overextended parents to do it all. When one of our children accomplishes something, we all share in the joy, and when someone suffers, we are sorrowing, as should all good parishes ought.
I suggest you get in with a vibrant “family oriented” parish, where your opinions of family life will undoubtably change. Try to see ahead to the days when parenthood will be impossible, and you will be able to survey the fruits of your efforts to raise your children. When she died at 99 just two years ago, my grandmothers’ direct decendants filled the whole church, and it was a living testimony to her faith and hard work. I try to imagine how the Lord must have smiled when he saw this simple, faithful woman coming.
Part of the problem is that our own Catholic communities do not support and make welcome large families, and I know that in our parish, we constantly applaud those who have them. Our parish, appropriately named Holy Family, has a healthy attitude towards children of all ages, and we all “help” to raise them. It shouldn’t be abandoned to the poor, overextended parents to do it all. When one of our children accomplishes something, we all share in the joy, and when someone suffers, we are sorrowing, as should all good parishes ought.
I suggest you get in with a vibrant “family oriented” parish, where your opinions of family life will undoubtably change. Try to see ahead to the days when parenthood will be impossible, and you will be able to survey the fruits of your efforts to raise your children. When she died at 99 just two years ago, my grandmothers’ direct decendants filled the whole church, and it was a living testimony to her faith and hard work. I try to imagine how the Lord must have smiled when he saw this simple, faithful woman coming.
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byzmelkite
Guest
Show me the influence of the protestant reformation and show me the patristic and medieval theologians who contradict what I am saying.And I would say that you seem to be unknowingly influenced by the protestant reformation.
Oh well, all the best to you!
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lindapg27
Guest
It looks like I came to the right place. My question relates to celabacy in marriage. I have been with my husband for 15 years, we have been married 3 years in the catholic church. Our marriage has not been consumated because my husband does not want any more children. I am 51 and starting menapause. We have been celebate for 4 years now. I am sure that he is right because I’m sure I could not handle it well physically and emotionally. I had post partum depression and was lucky that Mike stayed even though we were not married at the time. I would love another beautiful life and brother or sister for my daughter iff God wanted it for us. I just don’t know what is right. Another thing is he keeps saying that sex is only for having babies and not for pleasure. I keep telling him it’s ok, we’re married in God’s eyes now. I don’t want to go against him. I have kind of gotten used to it. He is a wonderful man and has been the best husband in every way. We have both had health problems and fatigue so I kind of didn’t miss it for a while. Now I do. I just want a true Catholic answer to my dilema. I should probably talk to my priest about this, but I think I’ll try you nice people first.
Thanks!
Linda
iserve:
Thanks!
Linda
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Petertherock
Guest
As soon as the Catholic Church starts paying for people’s kids then they can tell married people how many kids they should have.
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lindapg27
Guest
Thanks, I should have looked further down. You answered my question. Linda
puzzleannie:
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jegow
Guest
- Chastity comes in two forms, conjugal chastity and chastity in continence.
- I think the form of life that you now desire is continence. However, you need to talk this over with your wife. If you are wanting to live in continence she will have to as well and because of that you both have to talk about it and agree to live that way. If you make this only your perogitive it is very unfair to her - she needs to know what you are thinking.
- The Seminarian is not so correct. Chastity does not mean you do not have sex. In the Catechism it says that all are called to chastity. Procreation would then be impossible if all were called to be chaste and not have sexual relations with a spouse, therefore chastity comes in two forms as discussed above. Celeibacy means that you vow to never have sexual relations and not to Marry for the sake of the kingdom of God. At this point, since you are married, you have made a different commitment to your wife and to God. Find a good priest and talk to him about this.
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Ham1
Guest
You have a general theme that the body leads one to sin. You seem to miss the fact that God’s creation is a delicately balanced intelligent system designed by HIM to accomplish certain good ends. Nature is not designed to lead us to sin. While there are imperfections within nature that lead us to sin, not everything in Nature leads in that direction. I suppose that you might also condemn natural parenting styles, breastfeeding, etc. As much as it may frighten you, sometimes following the heart within a marriage can lead you to the good.
Not sure why you are specifying patristic or medieval theologians as the only ones qualified to speak on sexuality and moral theology. I would look to theologians like Janet Smith, Christopher West, and Pope John Paul II…that is, unless you believe them to be “tainted” by modernism, in which case there isn’t much room for an intelligent discussion.
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Pug
Guest
It does not mean giving up all affection. Some are unable to have relations but still give eachother a peck or a hug or a foot rub. They remain far more than friends. Sex is not just a friendship gesture.
I do not recommend this course. If a moral situation compels you, then follow this course. Seek wise counsel before deciding to do this. I’m sure certain couples are better suited to this, but most aren’t.
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Ruthie
Guest
Hi, Linda!
“Another thing is he keeps saying that sex is only for having babies and not for pleasure. I keep telling him it’s ok, we’re married in God’s eyes now.”
Show him CCC 2362. A quote: “Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment.”
Ask your doctor about the risk for you; then ask your priest if that is a good reason to avoid “openness to new life.”
My prayers go with you!
“Another thing is he keeps saying that sex is only for having babies and not for pleasure. I keep telling him it’s ok, we’re married in God’s eyes now.”
Show him CCC 2362. A quote: “Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment.”
Ask your doctor about the risk for you; then ask your priest if that is a good reason to avoid “openness to new life.”
My prayers go with you!
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byzmelkite
Guest
So, as soon as the Catholic Church starts buying my groceries they can tell me not to commit gluttony? As soon as the Catholic Church starts paying my taxes they can tell me to support laws that favor the poor and the immigrants?
That is about the lamest argument I’ve ever heard. One thing that annoys me the most about dissenters is just how stupid and illogical they are. They argue like spoiled children wanting more cookies than their parents will allow.
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byzmelkite
Guest
I don’t find Janet Smith to be very impressive to be honest with you. Pope John Paul II was a great thinker and a great Pope. However, I am just pointing out that the current glorification of married sex by these theologians is a departure from patristic and medieval thought. That being the case, we should see how to square it with the tradition.
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cynic
Guest
You equate all desire with excessive desire. All sexual desire is lust. Why would you believe that, it’s like saying sex between husband and wife is no different than that between a prostitute and client, or strangers, or boyfriend and girlfriend. All a glorified form of masturbation. And there’s no evidence for anything you’ve said about Adams pre fall state. Why make men and women if reproduction and marriage were a result of the fall, ie not part of the original plan?
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777
Guest
Even in martyrdom?
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777
Guest
Let’s not forget the entertainment industry as well as Congress, The Senate and The Supreme Court.
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777
Guest
Can’t you just say sex? What’s with the fancy words like concupiscience? Or do you think it sounds better?If you can engage in it with a pure mind and without excessive desire then more power to you. Almost everything we do is on the border of being venially sinful because of concupiscience. I don’t think a day goes by where I haven’t committed at least 1000 venial sins.
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777
Guest
Did you stop to think that with no children in a marriage means saved money in collage bills, school expenses, peadiatric bills, toys and other stuff (e.g., children’s clothing and furniture and toys). Plenty of tax money, uitility money, food money, clothing money and so forth twixt you and your spouse.
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Inkman
Guest
Hi lost sheep, I too struggle with this. My wife, a non Catholic has no problems with the use of artificial contreceptives. When we first married she was very reluctant to have children right away and it took her a long time to finally say yes to a child. We now a beautiful 15 month old son. We have been abstaining now for about a year and a half and will continue to so until my wife is either open to another child ar willing to give N.F.P a try.
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Ana
Guest
Am I missing something? The Church does not tell people how many children to have. In fact the opposite is true. The Church proclaims that it is a decision between the husband the wife and God. What is wrong with that?
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