Celibacy on wedding night

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catholic24

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If we are practicing NFP and aren’t able to have sex on our wedding night due to my fiance’s cycle but still want to be close (but still chaste of course), where do we draw the line?

I don’t ask that from a legalistic point of view but out of a desire to be close to her and still chaste.
 
TECHNICALLY you would not be celibate as you will be married, you are talking about remaining continent or abstaining on your wedding night. It is very much not uncommon to be so exhausted and hungry after the wedding and party that you both pretty much want a cheeseburger, a beer and maybe a footrub before falling asleep.
 
Practicing NFP doesn’t mean being sexually active; we aren’t.

NFP by its very nature requires that you start charting months before the wedding. How else would you know your fertility’s cycle if you didn’t measure it in advance?
 
sealabeag said:
Seems weird to me that you would be practicing NFP prior to your wedding.
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???

Women can learn fertility awareness well before they are married, and should do so for their own health. And of course learning it before marriage is prudent, as it takes time to learn. In fact it’s mandatory in my diocese as part of marriage prep. I charted for a year before I got married.
sealabeag said:
Also, there’s a misconception out there that all Catholic couples can use NFP at will to avoid pregnancy. That’s incorrect. There must be a serious reason to need to avoid pregnancy.
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It isn’t a misconception. It is you who misconstrue a just reason in conformity with objective morality and a “serious reason”.

And the OP didn’t give his reason nor is anyone on this forum entitled to it.
sealabeag said:
Well foreplay means sex will follow so it would be wrong
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NO!

Married couples can certainly touch each other intimately with or without any intent to have intercourse. It is NOT immoral.
sealabeag said:
You’re either having sex or you’re not. There is no in between, really.
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No, no, a thousand times NO. This is NOT Church teaching!!!
 
sealabeag said:
Seems weird to me that you would be practicing NFP prior to your wedding.
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Not really. It makes sense to start charting before the wedding. Many women use some method of fertility awareness long before they get married. It’s useful for tracking potential health issues.
sealabeag said:
Also, there’s a misconception out there that all Catholic couples can use NFP at will to avoid pregnancy. That’s incorrect. There must be a serious reason to need to avoid pregnancy.
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Sources please? The OP might have a serious reason.

-Fr ACEGC
 
catholic24 said:
Practicing NFP doesn’t mean being sexually active; we aren’t.

NFP by its very nature requires that you start charting months before the wedding. How else would you know your fertility’s cycle if you didn’t measure it in advance?
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The Catholic sexuality and NFP misinformation has already started on this thread. I hope you will not be swayed by it.

Talk to your pastor if you are unsure.
 
True I think I read the op slightly wrong. Of course they’d need to start charting pre marriage. Good point.
And I don’t mean to suggest they don’t have a good reason, just that I’ve seen a widespread misconception I thought I’d point it out, just in case. 🙂
 
I appreciate this is the case. My apologies! Also my reason for pointing out the other issue was not to accuse you, just that it’s common for young Catholics to believe NFP is always acceptable so I thought I’d point it out. I’m sure you have a good reason.
As for the foreplay question, my reply was short and potentially unclear, but I suppose that was because your question was short. Kissing, etc of course is fine. Anything actively sexual is not.
 
1ke said:
Married couples can certainly touch each other intimately with or without any intent to have intercourse. It is NOT immoral.
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Depends what you mean by “touch”. Difficult to have this conversation here without being explicit, which is against forum rules.
 
sealabeag said:
Depends what you mean by “touch”. Difficult to have this conversation here without being explicit, which is against forum rules.
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I mean intimate touching — i.e. body parts— and naked. I have no problem being specific.
 
You statement that “kissing” is acceptable and anything else isn’t.

You said “Anything actively sexual is not.” This isn’t true.
 
Yeah I have no problem being explicit but unfortunately it’s against the rules and I don’t want to get banned.
 
Again, it’s hard to say what we’re talking about without specifics.
 
No worries, friend. I understand. I simply want to be able to be close to and affectionate with my wife without sinning since I understand that actions have ends towards which they are ordered and at a certain point you are being sexual and need to complete the act. My understanding is that a husband can be physically close to his wife, even touching her in the genital area, as long as it is not intended to start the sexual act and if it is out of the intention of getting close. Of course that would have to stop once the wife or the husband start feeling like they are crossing over into not being able to control themselves.
 
sealabeag said:
Yeah I have no problem being explicit but unfortunately it’s against the rules and I don’t want to get banned.
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I didn’t say “explicit”, I said “specific”. They are different.
sealabeag said:
Again, it’s hard to say what we’re talking about without specifics.
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Specifically: intimate touching of genitals between spouses is not “wrong” or immoral.
 
Any thoughts on the comment I posted again? Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut.
 
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