Celibacy on wedding night

  • Thread starter Thread starter catholic24
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
RolandThompsonGunner said:
Is your wedding date locked in? Can you just try to get married outside your fiancés fertile window? Then you’re good to go.
Click to expand...
There’s no good way to know for sure in advance when the fertile window will be. You have to take it one cycle at a time. Even if you have regular cycles, the timing of ovulation can occasionally vary and come earlier or later than expected, not to mention the length of the cycle itself.
 
Last edited:
HomeschoolDad said:
For one thing, while we did receive some wedding gifts, for the most part, the guests line up and give the bride and groom envelopes of money, along with well-wishes for their new life together. But that money isn’t really for the couple, it’s more like a “cover charge” to attend the reception, eat copious quantities of food, drink equally copious amounts of alcohol (other beverages are available), and dance and party like there’s no tomorrow.
Click to expand...
The Asian cultures seem similar, though a profit is entirely achievable I believe.
 
You’re absolutely right, your motives are clearly very noble and I commend you for seeking out wisdom and desiring to do the right thing and not sin and honor your future wife! And yes, the internet, especially forums can be strange places. There’s so much heated debate, trolls, etc. that sometimes people (me included) forget their manners and that they’re speaking to other human beings. Do you feel your questions have been answered to your satisfaction?
 
Last edited:
That scene in the first one where they’re in the shire and the fireworks are going off and everyone is happy always puts me to sleep for some reason…
 
I am inclined to disagree. It seems to me rather obvious that one should not start what won’t be finished… you seem close to suggesting something like tantric mutual auto eroticism… not a good thing, and certainly a terrible way to start marriage. But maybe I am misunderstanding your point.
 
kapp19 said:
It seems to me rather obvious that one should not start what won’t be finished…
Click to expand...
Touching, kissing, hugging, cuddling, are all permissible and don’t have to be part of a marital act or solely in preparation for it. These acts are not immoral between married people whether they intend to move to intercourse or not.

Again, I also stated that it may not be prudent if they think they will want to progress to something else and may end up frustrated or throwing caution to the wind when they shouldn’t. I also stated genital contact is not avoiding behavior.

In the Creighton Method, SPICE is the acronym S piritual, P hysical, I ntellectual, C ommunicative (or Creative), and E motional ways of showing love and affection without genital contact.
kapp19 said:
you seem close to suggesting something like tantric mutual auto eroticism…
Click to expand...
That isn’t what I’m suggesting at all.
 
Yes, okay, all good, as long as the intention does not include deriving sexual/erotic (especially genital) pleasure therefrom… which seems difficult in some of the things being suggested…

-K
 
Last edited:
The question of incomplete sexual acts, not leading to an orgasm, between spouses is somewhat researched. I think the majority opinion has been that they are not inherently immoral but some caution is required. For example, there should not be probable risk of masturbation or other disordered acts later.
 
Which majority???

I would be shocked if a single noteworthy Catholic moralist before 1950 has said this…
 
Noonan’s Contraception presents opinions from different centuries. St. Alphonsus Liguori, among others, held more or less this position: not inherently immoral, allowed with reservations.
 
I am quite familiar with Alphonsus. What is the reference? In Theologia Moralis… or elsewhere?
 
I do, and I have been looking, without success. Frankly, I would be astonished if it were the case (though I could be wrong), it seems so contrary to his thought (and common sense, to be honest), unless there are qualifications, for instance, one knows the act might be interrupted due to pain, or due to some external necessity, or even a lack of desire… But to intend to “half-copulate” is simply an unnatural sexual act, albeit which uses the vas debitum…
 
Maybe the long reception is to determine if the groom is worthy. Maybe if he’s no good there’s time to remedy the situation before the marriage is consummated. 😅
 
AdamP88 said:
40.png
HomeschoolDad:
Are you suggesting violating the teachings of the Church on sexual morality within marriage?
Click to expand...
I think he’s suggesting they break the rules of NFP on their wedding night.
Click to expand...
Yes…what’s wrong with having sex on your wedding night…I’m confused here.
 
Last edited:
HomeschoolDad said:
40.png
Techno2000:
40.png
catholic24:
If we are practicing NFP and aren’t able to have sex on our wedding night due to my fiance’s cycle but still want to be close (but still chaste of course), where do we draw the line?
I don’t ask that from a legalistic point of view but out of a desire to be close to her and still chaste.
Click to expand...
I would break the rules on my wedding night.
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
Are you suggesting violating the teachings of the Church on sexual morality within marriage?
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
Sorry, you must be interpreting what I said all wrong . What I meant was to make an exception to the rules of (NFP) on your wedding day…that’s all . And yes, there is a risk of getting pregnant.But they’re married anyway, so it’s ok.
Click to expand...
 
Last edited:
We have to be prudent. If they have discerned that the wedding night is not a prudent time to conceive, that isn’t mutually exclusive with trust in God.
 
I didn’t say that it wasn’t. I’m just saying that sometimes there are just reasons for avoiding or delaying conception. We don’t have a moral obligation to have as many children as well can as quickly as we can.

Please be a bit more respectful in your tone.

-Fr ACEGC
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top