Celibacy on wedding night

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HomeschoolDad said:
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For instance, at a Polish Catholic wedding reception, the groom does not smash a wine glass as at Jewish weddings, but at the reception, the bride’s mother drops a ceramic plate flat onto the ground and breaks it, for the same reason.
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Really? Those Polish Mamas are dropping plates to memorialize the destruction of the temple of Jerusalem?
 
27lw said:
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HomeschoolDad:
For instance, at a Polish Catholic wedding reception, the groom does not smash a wine glass as at Jewish weddings, but at the reception, the bride’s mother drops a ceramic plate flat onto the ground and breaks it, for the same reason.
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Really? Those Polish Mamas are dropping plates to memorialize the destruction of the temple of Jerusalem?
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No, they’re dropping plates to symbolize that there will be difficulty and sadness within the marriage, which has to be accepted along with the happiness and joy.

I didn’t know that part about the Temple.
 
Anicette said:
And left before guests? hello? who will take care about keys, if everything is ok in the room etc? It is up to the bride and groom because it is there marriage, it is not anyone else business.
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In Ireland, the best man or groomsmen take on these tasks so that the married couple can retire.
 
Anicette said:
Same here. we left when all people are left or ready to left, so around 6am.
I have difficulties to see why people are worrying about their weeding night.
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Same too, in the same country. What is this “wedding night” people speak of ? 😂
 
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We didn’t even drink much !

My Korean in-laws had a hard time with it all, even though we’d warned them. In Korea, weddings are often over in a few hours…

We were married on a Saturday (with the two ceremonies, civil and religious, on the same day), went to sleep in the little hours of the Sunday morning, and were up and ready for the 10am Sunday service 😱
 
edward_george1 said:
We have to be prudent. If they have discerned that the wedding night is not a prudent time to conceive, that isn’t mutually exclusive with trust in God.
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Yes.
God leaves man in the power of his own counsel.
In setting the basis for morality:
CHAPTER ONE
THE DIGNITY OF THE HUMAN PERSON

ARTICLE 3
MAN’S FREEDOM

[1730] God created man a rational being, conferring on him the dignity of a person who can initiate and control his own actions. "God willed that man should be ‘left in the hand of his own counsel,’ so that he might of his own accord seek his Creator and freely attain his full and blessed perfection by cleaving to him."26

Man is rational and therefore like God; he is created with free will and is master over his acts.27
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A married couple discerns together. They are not sexual robots who are “victims” of marriage and the mandate to have sex on their wedding night. Planning children is part of the responsibility of love.

Morality assumes thinking, prudent, wise human beings with the capability to live an intentional Christian life.
 
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Just remember there must be a serious and just reason to practice NFP.
 
Miiiils said:
Just remember there must be a serious and just reason to practice NFP.
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Actually, the Catechism only says a “just” reason. Not “serious”:

2368 A particular aspect of this responsibility concerns the regulation of procreation . For just reasons, spouses may wish to space the births of their children. It is their duty to make certain that their desire is not motivated by selfishness but is in conformity with the generosity appropriate to responsible parenthood.
 
Sure, it uses the word “just”.

I think the problem is that many couples think they have “just” reasons when they don’t. I’m not saying all, or that I can judge all couples.

But I see some people say, “Well my wife want’s to finish college first” or “We want to buy another car” or “We just don’t want kids right now”

Those are not just reasons.
 
Miiiils said:
Those are not just reasons.
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I’m not sure you can say that definitively. I think a lot of it depends on the motivation. Even “we just don’t want kids right now” could be motivated by a concern for the kids, if the reason they don’t want kids is because they don’t feel prepared to be good parents.
 
Well you should be prudent about these issues. But I’m not going to deny God another child because I value my career more.
 
Miiiils said:
Well you should be prudent about these issues. But I’m not going to deny God another child because I value my career more.
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Again, whats the motivation? “I want to further my career so I can buy pointless stuff?” or “I want to further my career so that when I have kids I’m well prepared to provide for them”?

Two very different scenarios I think.
 
Yes, those are two different scenarios.

I just know there are a lot of Catholic couples that use NFP as a substitute for contraception.

For example, if someone is getting married and is going to practice NFP day one, that’s a red flag. If you aren’t ready for children, you aren’t ready for marriage.
 
Miiiils said:
For example, if someone is getting married and is going to practice NFP day one, that’s a red flag. If you aren’t ready for children, you aren’t ready for marriage.
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I disagree. At least, I don’t think it’s a per se rule.

What if the couple said, “hey, we just got married. We want to take a little time to settle into married life, make sure our relationship is rock solid, and we’re financially prepared before we bring a child into the mix.” I don’t think that’s necessarily a problem, because the motivation is the best interest of the kid, not a desire to find a loophole.
 
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