Cheating Husband Part II

[whatevergirl]

love 31, look at the position this man hammered you with:

*** i tried telling her one time that Dad was not going to be living with us anymore. And Oh My!!! it absolutly broke my heart. my daughter isn’t one to scream and cry she is very mellow. And she SCREAMED and CRIED like I have never seen her before. She would say I WANT MY DADDY!!! Please mom call him I want to tell him to come home. NO Mom…I want my Daddy!!!.***

that’s the guy you’re dealing with.

what does he think you’re daughter is doing?

you need to respond, “i want your daddy too. but he’s not being a daddy. until he does, we are all sad.”

daughter needs to see you toughen up. she wants daddy, yes. but she’s likely freaking out over your vibes of terror and confusion. Love 31, fake it.

go see a catholic counselor for you. anyone who tells you bad advice like last time-- anyone who tells you it’s cool to stay attached while he’s addicted adulterous-- walk. get someone new.

you may have to hit your own co-dependancy bottom here, Love 31. only you can decide when enough destruction is enough.

I like this advice a lot. Good post.
Love!!! I’m praying that God points you in the right direction. But, be brave…call upon Jesus for bravery. I am sorry that you are going through this…my heart aches every time I read another moment of angst that your husband puts you through.

 

[jules11]

I know I need to do this I KNOW IT…but its so hard. I want to hear what he has to say. And my daughter wants to talk to him on the phone she misses him. I feel like the bad person when I don’t let her talk to her Dad. She doesn’t know or understand what is going on. I don’t want her to hate me for not allowing contact with us. I’m scared. I tried telling her one time that Dad was not going to be living with us anymore. And Oh My!!! it absolutly broke my heart. my daughter isn’t one to scream and cry she is very mellow. And she SCREAMED and CRIED like I have never seen her before. She would say I WANT MY DADDY!!! Please mom call him I want to tell him to come home. NO Mom…I want my Daddy!!!. I had never seen her react to anything like that. She wouldn’t stop crying and that pain hurt me more than the pain my husband is putting me thru. We had to tell her that he was going to be working out of town again and thats why he wasn’t going to be staying at home. She was fine with that but I know my daughter is smart and she feels something is wrong. I’m so scared to tell her. What if she gets sick from it…from being upset and worried. She’s only 6. I’ don’t know that I could handle her reacting like that again…Any suggestions on how to tell her so that she won’t be scared. Prayers Please!

Love31, I have been there. My husband left when my eldest was 6. I had 4 children and their pain was harder to cope with than my own. Please believe me when I tell you, as long as you give her a happy stable home, she will deal with it. The more he comes and goes the worse it will be for her. He is too unstable an influence to allow this. CUT all contact. I really am tellling you this with concern and love.
This is truly the only way for now. You are giving him power by talking to him. You are giving him power by feeling sorry for him. BE STRONG… PLEASE. For your daughter. He will not change overnight. There is no point in hearing what he has to say at the moment. I know you are hoping that the next communication will be him saying he is wrong, he loves you and will do whatever it takes to make it right. But they are ONLY WORDS. You need actions and by letting him string you along, you will never see actions. TAKE CONTROL here. He has ALL the control at the moment. He has your heart and is playing with it. You want your daughter to have a family… I know, I felt that. BUT it will NOT change now…
My H left in feb 94 and my daughter was turning 6 in May. I hurt so bad for her so I threw her a big party so it would make her happy for a while. She kept saying, ‘Mummy, does daddy know where to come for my party??’
I was so heartbroken. I cried so much. The children’s pain was so much harder to bear.
But they get by, as long as you have got it together and try to make their lives happy.
I have been where you are… I wish I took the advice I am giving you. Give him NO MORE power to make you unhappy and your daughter sad. I really know what I am saying. I spent the next 6 years in misery, hoping, wishing and he went on his merry way with not a second thought for me or our 4 children. (He never saw them… until last Dec, 12 years later and that is because my eldest daughter went looking for him)
He hasn’t changed a bit, not saying yours cant, but he won’t when he knows he has got you no matter how badly he behaves.
GET TOUGH. Do not put up with his antics anymore. Put your foot down and live your life as a sole parent with a daughter who is your first priority.
And keep praying

 

[whatevergirl]

Hi Love;

Just a question…why do you think you don’t leave, at this point? Is it religious reasons? Do you think God will be angry with you? Once you get to the heart of why you’re staying, I have a feeling you might then find the courage to leave.

 

[harmon3110]

Love31, I have been there. My husband left when my eldest was 6. I had 4 children and their pain was harder to cope with than my own. Please believe me when I tell you, as long as you give her a happy stable home, she will deal with it. The more he comes and goes the worse it will be for her. He is too unstable an influence to allow this. CUT all contact. I really am tellling you this with concern and love.
This is truly the only way for now. You are giving him power by talking to him. You are giving him power by feeling sorry for him. BE STRONG… PLEASE. For your daughter. He will not change overnight. There is no point in hearing what he has to say at the moment. I know you are hoping that the next communication will be him saying he is wrong, he loves you and will do whatever it takes to make it right. But they are ONLY WORDS. You need actions and by letting him string you along, you will never see actions. TAKE CONTROL here. He has ALL the control at the moment. He has your heart and is playing with it. You want your daughter to have a family… I know, I felt that. BUT it will NOT change now…
My H left in feb 94 and my daughter was turning 6 in May. I hurt so bad for her so I threw her a big party so it would make her happy for a while. She kept saying, ‘Mummy, does daddy know where to come for my party??’
I was so heartbroken. I cried so much. The children’s pain was so much harder to bear.
But they get by, as long as you have got it together and try to make their lives happy.
I have been where you are… I wish I took the advice I am giving you. Give him NO MORE power to make you unhappy and your daughter sad. I really know what I am saying. I spent the next 6 years in misery, hoping, wishing and he went on his merry way with not a second thought for me or our 4 children. (He never saw them… until last Dec, 12 years later and that is because my eldest daughter went looking for him)
He hasn’t changed a bit, not saying yours cant, but he won’t when he knows he has got you no matter how badly he behaves.
GET TOUGH. Do not put up with his antics anymore. Put your foot down and live your life as a sole parent with a daughter who is your first priority.
And keep praying

That is really good advice. I suggest you think really hard on this. I also strongly suggest that you get yourself a really good divorce lawyer: for a divorce AND to prevent him from communicating directly with you (by requiring him communicate through the lawyer).

 

[harmon3110]

Hi Love;

Just a question…why do you think you don’t leave, at this point? Is it religious reasons? Do you think God will be angry with you? Once you get to the heart of why you’re staying, I have a feeling you might then find the courage to leave.

Love31

Sometimes, what is in the heart is precisely what makes it so hard to take the next, obvious step.

Probably, what is in your heart is love for your husband, love for your family, love for Happy Memories, and love for the dreams of What Might Have Been. That is what is making it hard for you to take the next step.

But, you have to use your reason too.

Here are the Facts: your husband is a liar, an adulterer and a drug addict.

What are your options?

Option 1: Stay with the guy, and hope it all works out.

That might be appealing because of your great love for him, your family and your dreams. And, it sounds like what a good wife is supposed to do: “stand by her man,” etc. Here’s the problem. He is so messed up that he will probably interpret your mercy as weakness and your fidelity as tolerance. If you stay with him, he will probably continue in his bad behavior and think you tolerate it. That will simply shred your heart even worse, it will mess up your daughter; and it will perpetuate the problem, and it will waste time. I don’t know how old you are, but I’m middle aged; and I need to tell you: there is no time to waste. Especially when children are involved.

Option 2: Leave the guy, cut him completely off from your life, get a divorce, and Move On.

This will be exceptionally painful. But, he cannot be trusted now. His lies and his behavior prove that. Also, he is trying to manipulate you into accepting him and his behavior. Don’t let him ! The only way he can get help now is if he learns that his behavior and his attitudes are totally unacceptable. And the ONLY way he can learn that is if you totally cut him off. Not for a little while: FOREVER. If he has the hope of a reconciliation, he will have the hope that he can go back to his lying, cheating and drugging --with you-- one day; and he will not be cured. He will only get cured if he hits rock bottom and is forced to face the demons in his heart: for what they are, and not to feed them. And he can only do that alone. You can’t do that for him, and you can’t help him. You can only leave him, and say a prayer, and let him figure it out for himself. Meanwhile, you have to take care of yourself and your daughter. If you take him back, it WILL be more of the same. If you leave him and completely cut him off, you and your daughter have a chance to make a good life still.

If you stay with him, it will be more of the same.

If you leave him and completely cut him off, it will hurt enormously now; but it will give you and your daughter and even him a real chance to have a better life in the future.

But if you stay with him, it will be more of the same. So don’t stay with him: at all.

 

[Love31]

Why don’t I leave?..That is such a good question. At first I thought it was because I was suppose to stay that God would be angry. I studied the Bible and realized that he wouldn’t that adultry is a horrible thing. Then I thought it was because of my daughter and then I realized that I could do it without him and that staying for the kids is not the best thing for me. Then I thought it was because I had some kind of duty to him to help him thru his trials. But also realized that he would need to do this alone. So I think all of you are right I stay and take this torture because I still love him and I have hope that the man that I love, my best friend will soon return. I’m scared that I may take a huge step too soon and that if I divorce right away that I some how didn’t trust that God could help him change that I was taking things into my own hands and fixing them my way…I don’t know. I’m scared of making the wrong decision I guess. I will pray on this. I really need to find out if I still really love my husband or is it routine. Sometimes I even think that maybe I don’t let go because I feel like I lost…and she won. You know. Kinda childish but I sometimes wonder if I’m in it for the competition. To see which one of us wins. Stupid…I know. Somtimes I also think that maybe its because everyone thought including me that we had a great marraige a great family and that getting a divorce would make me less. “Oh poor thing she’s divorced”. Lots of thoughts I need to work out. I have a 3 day weekend so I will spend it with my daughter and family and alot of time with God trying to find out why I stay and what is really in my heart. I want to thank everyone for all your prayers and especially because I’m so up and down. But I really am living this and my emotions and feelings are real and I know some of you get frustrated with me and others know and feel my pain…please know that I really do think and pray about every post… THANK YOU!

 

[harmon3110]

Why don’t I leave? . . . ] because I still love him and I have hope that the man that I love, my best friend will soon return.

That is perfectly understandable.

I’m scared that I may take a huge step too soon and that if I divorce right away that I some how didn’t trust that God could help him change that I was taking things into my own hands and fixing them my way…I don’t know. I’m scared of making the wrong decision I guess.

That is also perfectly understandable. Take your time to decide. But, as several other people told you told, if you decide to take him back and he hasn’t changed, you will get more of the same . . . for years . . . till you do leave him.

I will pray on this.

Good. I have prayed for you, and others here have too. You’re not the only one who has suffered serious marital problems. Take comfort and hope in that.

I really need to find out if I still really love my husband or is it routine.

You already answered that question. You know you love your husband, and this is not routine.

This is a crisis.

And, you have to decide how to respond.

If you decide to keep him, you risk that he is playing you for a fool, that he is manipulating you, that nothing will really change, and that you will suffer for years till you finally do leave him.

If you decide to leave him, you risk a lot of pain and you risk wondering “what if?”

Only you can decide. Only you know yourself, your husband and your daughter well enough.

But I really am living this and my emotions and feelings are real and I know some of you get frustrated with me and others know and feel my pain…please know that I really do think and pray about every post… THANK YOU!

I know it’s real for you. It was real for me and everyone else who has gone through severe marital problems.

I’m sorry if I sound frustrated. I’m cynical about situations like this. In situations like this --lying, adultery, drug addiction-- a lot of guys don’t change. But the woman hopes that he will change anyway. And then 5, 10, 15, 20 years pass by; and nothing has changed for the better; in fact, it’s probably gotten worse. I hope that’s not your situation, but I must suspect that it could be. And so, I hope you avoid all that by taking stock of the situation and taking action where needed.

But, only you can decide.

 

[whatevergirl]

Why don’t I leave?..That is such a good question. At first I thought it was because I was suppose to stay that God would be angry. I studied the Bible and realized that he wouldn’t that adultry is a horrible thing. Then I thought it was because of my daughter and then I realized that I could do it without him and that staying for the kids is not the best thing for me. Then I thought it was because I had some kind of duty to him to help him thru his trials. But also realized that he would need to do this alone. So I think all of you are right I stay and take this torture because I still love him and I have hope that the man that I love, my best friend will soon return. I’m scared that I may take a huge step too soon and that if I divorce right away that I some how didn’t trust that God could help him change that I was taking things into my own hands and fixing them my way…I don’t know. I’m scared of making the wrong decision I guess. I will pray on this. I really need to find out if I still really love my husband or is it routine. Sometimes I even think that maybe I don’t let go because I feel like I lost…and she won. You know. Kinda childish but I sometimes wonder if I’m in it for the competition. To see which one of us wins. Stupid…I know. Somtimes I also think that maybe its because everyone thought including me that we had a great marraige a great family and that getting a divorce would make me less. “Oh poor thing she’s divorced”. Lots of thoughts I need to work out. I have a 3 day weekend so I will spend it with my daughter and family and alot of time with God trying to find out why I stay and what is really in my heart. I want to thank everyone for all your prayers and especially because I’m so up and down. But I really am living this and my emotions and feelings are real and I know some of you get frustrated with me and others know and feel my pain…please know that I really do think and pray about every post… THANK YOU!

What I admire about you, Love…is that you are a woman who really has been patient…and looked at all the options…before really taking that next step. Many people (perhaps myself included) would have left–nearly immediately. (And at times, people break up for far less…sometimes, they just don’t get along anymore?) I wanted you to know that the taking time to weigh this decision was never a wrong thing to do. God gave us marriage…I think in the beginning, perhaps you thought, he would change. And, why not? It’s not an unreasonable thing to think in your situation.

I also don’t think your husband IS a liar and cheater. It’s what he is doing…none of us ARE our sins. Our sins are not who we are…they are what we do. That’s why it is possible for God to love the sinner, and hate the sin. He doesn’t love adulterers or liars…lol…certainly not. He loves us, because He knows we have potential. I think that you will do the right thing–because God is guiding you…and because you let Him.

 

[jules11]

Love, you do not need to decide right now whether to get a divorce or not. You do not need to decide anything, except NOT giving him anymore power. You do not know what will happen in the future. Only God knows. None of us on here can tell you whether you should end the marriage or not. That is entirely up to you… and God. I would certainly not advise that. I know, I hung onto the hope of my husband converting for many years. It did not happen and I got an annulment. But that is not to say that yours will end that way. He may convert after many years of heartfelt prayer from a devoted wife. That kind of sacrifice and suffering is what makes saints.
What I am saying to you, is step away. Ask him no questions. Seek no answers from him. Find your answers in God.
Pray for your husband. God asks you to do that and leave the door open for God to show you the way. NOT your husband. He is caught up in lies and deception. Don’t trust him. Trust God.
It is not a case of who wins out of you and the other woman. Goodness knows, at the moment he is no prize! And it means that you are NO less of a person if he decides to stay with her. It means that he is very misguided and is living in sin if he choses that! Not somewhere I would want to be, that separated from my God.
But God is a prize and faith in Him is a precious jewel. Believe me if you have faith, you have already won!
You are being courageous and loving as much as a wife is supposed to love. You do not need to justify to anyone why you love him. You just do! You promised to on your wedding day and you are doing just that! You cannot turn off your love just because he is behaving terribly. But you can love him differently. You can ask God to love him for you as he is not around at the moment to love him as a wife should be able to.
But God can do ALL the work. All you have to do is pray and trust HIM completely.
But while you are waiting on God to guide you, do not communicate with him. You need to let God work in your life and in his. sometimes anything we say can hinder His work. In a situation like this, there is NOTHING to be gained but more pain for you, to have any kind of contact.
You do not have to give up on him or your marriage. Just let God do it all. He can and He will. But like I said before, you need to stand up, respect yourself, show him tough love. Show him that you will not be treated the way he is treating you and then wait… and pray. God will show you the way. Just don’t expect all your questions about the future to be answered all at once. Sometimes it’s a long drawn out drama that may take a very long time to unfold. All God asks is that you have unwavering, unfaltering and childlike TRUST.

 

[Love31]

What I admire about you, Love…is that you are a woman who really has been patient…and looked at all the options…before really taking that next step. Many people (perhaps myself included) would have left–nearly immediately. (And at times, people break up for far less…sometimes, they just don’t get along anymore?) I wanted you to know that the taking time to weigh this decision was never a wrong thing to do. God gave us marriage…I think in the beginning, perhaps you thought, he would change. And, why not? It’s not an unreasonable thing to think in your situation.

I also don’t think your husband IS a liar and cheater. It’s what he is doing…none of us ARE our sins. Our sins are not who we are…they are what we do. That’s why it is possible for God to love the sinner, and hate the sin. He doesn’t love adulterers or liars…lol…certainly not. He loves us, because He knows we have potential. I think that you will do the right thing–because God is guiding you…and because you let Him.

Thank you for saying this I sometimes feel stupid for hanging on…and hoping that someday My husband will feel God again and realize what he is doing to his family. I guess I hang on because I know him the man not on drugs and he is a wonderful man caring and loving devoted to God and his family…I think thats why this hurts so badly…because I never expected him to change this much and become a man that can’t let go of his addictions I know him to be stronger than that…

 

[Love31]

Love, you do not need to decide right now whether to get a divorce or not. You do not need to decide anything, except NOT giving him anymore power. You do not know what will happen in the future. Only God knows. None of us on here can tell you whether you should end the marriage or not. That is entirely up to you… and God. I would certainly not advise that. I know, I hung onto the hope of my husband converting for many years. It did not happen and I got an annulment. But that is not to say that yours will end that way. He may convert after many years of heartfelt prayer from a devoted wife. That kind of sacrifice and suffering is what makes saints.
What I am saying to you, is step away. Ask him no questions. Seek no answers from him. Find your answers in God.
Pray for your husband. God asks you to do that and leave the door open for God to show you the way. NOT your husband. He is caught up in lies and deception. Don’t trust him. Trust God.
It is not a case of who wins out of you and the other woman. Goodness knows, at the moment he is no prize! And it means that you are NO less of a person if he decides to stay with her. It means that he is very misguided and is living in sin if he choses that! Not somewhere I would want to be, that separated from my God.
But God is a prize and faith in Him is a precious jewel. Believe me if you have faith, you have already won!
You are being courageous and loving as much as a wife is supposed to love. You do not need to justify to anyone why you love him. You just do! You promised to on your wedding day and you are doing just that! You cannot turn off your love just because he is behaving terribly. But you can love him differently. You can ask God to love him for you as he is not around at the moment to love him as a wife should be able to.
But God can do ALL the work. All you have to do is pray and trust HIM completely.
But while you are waiting on God to guide you, do not communicate with him. You need to let God work in your life and in his. sometimes anything we say can hinder His work. In a situation like this, there is NOTHING to be gained but more pain for you, to have any kind of contact.
You do not have to give up on him or your marriage. Just let God do it all. He can and He will. But like I said before, you need to stand up, respect yourself, show him tough love. Show him that you will not be treated the way he is treating you and then wait… and pray. God will show you the way. Just don’t expect all your questions about the future to be answered all at once. Sometimes it’s a long drawn out drama that may take a very long time to unfold. All God asks is that you have unwavering, unfaltering and childlike TRUST.

I appreciate this…I beleive nothing is impossible for God if it is truly his will. I tried making myself go and get divorse papers from the county courthouse on Tuesday. It took everything I had to pay for those stupid papers. Then going thru them killed me I couldn’t stop crying it didn’t feel right. Those papers don’t feel right to me yet. I couldn’t put my name or my husbands name on any part of the paper. Then I get to the part about children I was not putting my daughters name on that paper. I felt sick…divorce is not what is right for me yet. I don’t feel it…not yet. So I took the papers to my office and I have them here. I look at them everyday to see if I change my mind and all I do is cry. I would of never thought I would ever get divorce papers but I did…and I am not throwing them away until I know for sure either way. I have an appointment with another therapist today…I hope he can help with something the other one really only took my money I didn’t get much out of the sessions. But then I really have never dealt with a therapist until now…not sure what to really expect. My expectations may be too high…that pretty much goes for everything in my life…My expectations may just be too high…

 

[Love31]

Feeling so sad and unwanted… Please Pray

 

[jrabs]

Feeling so sad and unwanted… Please Pray

I am sorry. I will pray that God leads you to His will and grants you peace and inner joy.

 

[BlestOne]

Love31,
I just spent the past hour or so reading all this. My heart cries for you. I went through a break-up with my addicted husband some years ago and went through telling my 3 kids too. Thankfully I was guided to tell them that they could help their daddy get better by praying. We all sat down and prayed for daddy… for years. I found this was good for the kids…but surprise! it was good for me too!!! The kids felt like they were doing something to help daddy and being proactive, even when I explained to them that daddy would not be coming home, ever. But the good it did me… I can’t even compare. Did you know you can’t stay angry at someone when you are praying for them?? Recognize that he has a disease called addiction, pray for God’s will for him and that he finds peace in his heart, I promise you will find peace. Today I am remarried to a wonderful man and the kids love him dearly. They still pray for their dad but they also recognize that mom is finally happy and they like how life is when mom is happy…

 

[Love31]

I will spend my lunch hour at adoration. I continue to pray for my husband to let go of both addictions. He has called a Rehab center about 2 hours from here. He could only leave a message. I hope they call back soon. I was gone on a business trip for a week and I’m not sure what happened but things are different. I didn’t have good cell phone service where I was at so he couldn’t get a hold of me…When I got back he was just different. I won’t get my hopes up but something is different. I was shocked that he called the rehab center…thats a positive step. And know he tells me that he is sorry for blaming me for his mistakes. He said that he needed to be clean from her and that drug before we could even start to recover…and that even if he was clean from both addictions I would still be the one to choose weither I could live my life with someone that has caused so much pain and destruction. He said that he would always thank me for helping him escape from satans hands by prayer. He said that now that he is trying so hard to do right he feels satan even stronger. He has people offering drugs to him for free…and yesterday at the store parking lot he had some drunk women offer herself to him saying that she always got what she wanted. Where do these people come from. He said that he got in his truck and started to pray. He says he feels satan poking at him hard and trying to make things harder for him. He asks for prayers…He even said that it was time for him to talk to a Priest…Lord keep him on the right path…

 

[ErichsGurl2]

Why don’t I leave?..That is such a good question. At first I thought it was because I was suppose to stay that God would be angry. I studied the Bible and realized that he wouldn’t that adultry is a horrible thing. Then I thought it was because of my daughter and then I realized that I could do it without him and that staying for the kids is not the best thing for me. Then I thought it was because I had some kind of duty to him to help him thru his trials. But also realized that he would need to do this alone. So I think all of you are right I stay and take this torture because I still love him and I have hope that the man that I love, my best friend will soon return. I’m scared that I may take a huge step too soon and that if I divorce right away that I some how didn’t trust that God could help him change that I was taking things into my own hands and fixing them my way…I don’t know. I’m scared of making the wrong decision I guess. I will pray on this. I really need to find out if I still really love my husband or is it routine. Sometimes I even think that maybe I don’t let go because I feel like I lost…and she won. You know. Kinda childish but I sometimes wonder if I’m in it for the competition. To see which one of us wins. Stupid…I know. Somtimes I also think that maybe its because everyone thought including me that we had a great marraige a great family and that getting a divorce would make me less. “Oh poor thing she’s divorced”. Lots of thoughts I need to work out. I have a 3 day weekend so I will spend it with my daughter and family and alot of time with God trying to find out why I stay and what is really in my heart. I want to thank everyone for all your prayers and especially because I’m so up and down. But I really am living this and my emotions and feelings are real and I know some of you get frustrated with me and others know and feel my pain…please know that I really do think and pray about every post… THANK YOU!

I know how you feel. I also feel sometimes that I have worked hard for my marriage and I will protect it to the end. Why would I let some floosy ruin something that is mine, allow her to take something away from me? I am stuck in the situation my husband put me in (another post). It’s frustrating sometimes to take another’s advice because you ARE actually living this…words are easy to say (or type) but actions are more difficult to carry out.

You are in my prayers Dear.

 

[Tweety]

How are things going Love31?

I have been popping in to see how you are doing… I am so sorry for your situation…

Hope you had a good weekend filled with loads of love from your daughter and family and that you both had some fun…

Take care of yourself!

Tweety

 

[Katie1723]

… Why would I let some floosy ruin something that is mine, allow her to take something away from me? …

Excuse me, but I think you’re husband may played a small part in this mess. Why not hold him responsible? Seems to me , he was giving something away he ought not to have.
Kathy

 

[Love31]

Last night my husband agreed to go to a marriage encounter weekend. He said for me to call this morning and register for the June 22 weekend. So I did everything is set and I want to be positive but I feel that he will back out. Its in your hands Lord.

 

[Tweety]

Last night my husband agreed to go to a marriage encounter weekend. He said for me to call this morning and register for the June 22 weekend. So I did everything is set and I want to be positive but I feel that he will back out. Its in your hands Lord.

May the marriage encounter weekend, open his eyes and heart… I truly wish that it all works out, i know alot of people are the opposite, but i am one of those who want the whole world to be nice and lovey dovey and i want everyone to be happy, and that includes your poor husband!

People often forget that we are all addicted to something…My mum - God and her grandson are her addictions, I love my coffee and Star Trek, My husband - cigarettes and Mythbusters. My son - chocolate and The Wiggles… My friends - shopping etc… I know lots of elderly Catholic ladies addicted to Bingo! and poker machines on cold days when they go into a club to stay warm and get out of the house…

Addictions are hard to break and the person addicted needs support from family and friends. I am not saying that you have to be his support, but he does need someone… and preferably not you know who. You cannot save him sweetie - but you may be able to help him if he truly wants his family back again.

Praying for you and your hubby, i really hope it all works out for you. You really do him don’t you sweetie?

Tweety