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pensmama87
Guest
I know it’s not the most unheard of thing in the world for kids to hit each other when they are frustrated, especially when they are young. But I need help figuring out if what I’m seeing here is unusual, and how to go about fixing it (or if I should quit babysitting for this child.)
About 6-8 weeks ago, the 3.5 year old I babysit about 35 hours a week began hitting or otherwise physically lashing out. At least once a day, he slaps, punches, kicks, shoves, or pinches either his older brother, who I watch after school, or one of kids (one is the same age he is, my younger is 20 months old). At first it was usually in response to some kind of direct provoking - a toy was grabbed away, his block tower got knocked down - but now it seems that the littlest thing will set him off. The usual consequence is a time-out, then a required apology. My sense is that at home there is very little discipline of any kind.
Here are a few things that concern me, besides the behavior itself:
I’ve also been teaching about sharing and turn-taking, and I use a timer for turns with specific items that seem to be the toy “du jour.”
Other things I can try? Is this developmentally normal? My son who is the same age hardly ever hits, though he did a bit more when he was younger. I have had other concerns about this child’s development, but don’t know if this could be related to any of those.
Right now the money is really important, but I’m frustrated enough that I’m thinking about giving the parents my notice. Even if it developmentally normal, it’s not fun watching someone else’s kid hit yours and feeling like what you can do to address it isn’t enough.
About 6-8 weeks ago, the 3.5 year old I babysit about 35 hours a week began hitting or otherwise physically lashing out. At least once a day, he slaps, punches, kicks, shoves, or pinches either his older brother, who I watch after school, or one of kids (one is the same age he is, my younger is 20 months old). At first it was usually in response to some kind of direct provoking - a toy was grabbed away, his block tower got knocked down - but now it seems that the littlest thing will set him off. The usual consequence is a time-out, then a required apology. My sense is that at home there is very little discipline of any kind.
Here are a few things that concern me, besides the behavior itself:
- He now only does it if he thinks I can’t see him.
- When I tell him to go to the time-out spot, he denies wrongdoing (this could actually be a sign of developmental progress, but no idea how to address it.)
- He rolls his eyes at me, turns his back, and yells things at me like, “you’re not the boss!” These are not behaviors I’m keen on my kids seeing and repeating.
- If he was going through a growth spurt or some other “grumpy” stage, I’d have expected it to end by now. If anything, the behavior is escalating.
I’ve also been teaching about sharing and turn-taking, and I use a timer for turns with specific items that seem to be the toy “du jour.”
Other things I can try? Is this developmentally normal? My son who is the same age hardly ever hits, though he did a bit more when he was younger. I have had other concerns about this child’s development, but don’t know if this could be related to any of those.
Right now the money is really important, but I’m frustrated enough that I’m thinking about giving the parents my notice. Even if it developmentally normal, it’s not fun watching someone else’s kid hit yours and feeling like what you can do to address it isn’t enough.
), but I kind of wanted to stick it out until baby was born. But the kids do have some really unfortunate habits and are both emotionally immature for their ages, and I don’t like what my kids are picking up from them. I know I can’t keep the world out forever, but I feel like starting out with younger kids might be better. They’re more hands-on, but then they learn my rules and expectations from the start. For what amounts to full-time care, that matters to me a lot.
