Childless Couples in Parish Life

[OutinChgoburbs]

I would not want to sign that either! But the first thing you learn in business law is that waivers generally mean diddly-squat. i.e…those indemnity waivers kids bring home before school field trips are only there to make parents think they can’t sue, they don’t mean you can’t sue. I’d wonder if this is the same sort of deal. But the idea that someone could make an accusation about you and yu have no right to read it? Ugh.

Sorry to go off topic.
cecilia

That’s not off topic, and you are right. Another thing: Draw a line through it and initial.

 

[dulcissima]

That’s not off topic, and you are right. Another thing: Draw a line through it and initial.

I doubt this would be an option. These types of agreements are almost always contracts of adhesion. The signing party can take it or leave it. The archdiocese really does not have the budget to consult an attorney everytime someone wants to modify it.

 

[Pug]

I doubt this would be an option.

I concur. Your option would be to sign or not sign. I’ve been in a similar situation and they wouldn’t take it altered (I had done that). They said I could sign it as it was or not.

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

I relate to your schedule problem. My dh’s schedule has been crazy over the years, and it really makes it hard to commit to things. I do have children, but I can tell you I feel like a visitor in my parish. You are comparing child-less people in your 40’s to childless people in their 20’s. True, there are alot of differences. But let me tell you, I am a homeschooling mother of young children. And I look around the church and feel alone. Either everyone’s kids are teenagers wearing miniskirts, or the families with a child my age only have 1 child my age - no one has them close together, or has anything in common with my values and philosophies (based on initial conversations I have, which NEVER lead to any further socializing). My point is that you may be surprised that alot of the people you look at as the “involved, happy with their community” people - these people MAY not be satisfied either. Just because a mom looks busy and social (because she has to take her kids places) doesn’t mean she isn’t as starved for community as you are. For me, it is reassuring to know that I am not the only one feeling that way.

One suggestion I have is for you to attend daily mass as much as you can. I think feeling like you’re not a visitor can at least be partially acheived by becoming more familiar with the other active members in your parish. And given that your schedule might make it hard for you to find one group and attend regularly, daily mass is where you’ll be able to see the most people the most often. (This is of course aside from the spiritual benefit you’ll receive from God at mass).

 

[dympnha]

I can relate to this. I can’t have children and we’re making the best of the situation. It’s difficult at church because our parish has a school. Most of the adults have kids at the school and that’s what they talk about. There is a mother’s prayer group and a fathers prayer group and a singles group but nothing for anybody else and that’s the way the parishioners like it.

 

[Cygnus_X1]

You folks gave me lots of good ideas, for which I thank you.

The bad news is that I lost my job last week.

The good news is that I lost my job last week. That enabled my wife and I to go to our parish together this morning for a change. And? It happened to be the week for coffee and donuts with other parishioners. That? Was nice. I felt “part of” and not “apart from.”

Not saying the childless part might still not come into play, but the best way for us to be part of the parish is, well, to be part of the parish. I think it’s important for me to seek a job that allows me to do so.

I appreciate the encouragement, and will keep you posted.

 

[Alison]

May be you should start doing the children’s liturgy at your church. We have a couple who are also unable to have children (nor have adopted kids) doing the children’s liturgy after the 10:00 am Mass on Sunday. I say what a great way to take care of the spiritual welfare of the kids of the parish! God bless,

-Alison