"Children are a nuisance!"

[BlestOne]

Maureen Fiore:

It was just as bad as I described and once again I do have children and I was very surprised that the parents did not control their children. When my children were toddlers, yes, then did make a mess on the table and I never left the restuarant expecting the waiter or waitress to clean up after my children. I feel that that is not their job. Parents should remember that children should be respectful and teach their children to learn proper table manners. Toddlers can taught, I know I taught my children to have manners at the table even in my house.

Tar, Good for you!!! People are so self centered! It never ceases to amaze me how selfish people can be…to get angry about something that can’t be helped!!! OMGoodness, we wouldn’t want to inconvenience them…

dulcissima, I absolutely loved your perspective…gosh I really pray for such a heat as yours!

Maureen, I know exactly what you mean!!! It isn’t typical kid noises and messes…it’s when the parents totally ignore the kids and they go wild! I just want to go over and smack the parents around. It’s not the kids fault at that age…it is the parent.

Musicman…don’t you just love the midwest for just that reason? I do!!! Years ago, I would hold this baby in church so her mom could actually have a chance to pray…that same mom ended up years later taking a kid or two of mine in while I was in the hospital. We do tend to share our kids around here…I had to give one of my son’s friends the “talk” about appropriate words for breasts…my big pet peeve. When I told the mom about it, she laughed and said, “Good for you!” When I needed to go to reconciliation a friend took the kids for me on the spur of the moment…actually it was her idea. I have had many of those moments, but then again I have provided many of those moments as well.

 

[mrs_abbott]

Flopfoot:

Of course children are a nuisance, of course they bother most people, incluing me.

But what I reckon is, get used to it! That’s just the way children are and chances are anyone complaining about it was a noisy child themselves once. It’s no more productive to complain about a noisy child than it is to complain about the rain or the heat or how hilly the ground is. As my dad would say, “suffer quietly!”

Parents are responsible for what their kids are, particularly when they’re little. As they get older, they will make their own decisions. When they’re children, it’s the parent’s job to make decisions for them and tell them right from wrong.
I’m speaking of children ages 4 and older. The younger ones you just have to love them and let them know that you’re in charge.

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

Maureen Fiore:

It was just as bad as I described and once again I do have children and I was very surprised that the parents did not control their children. When my children were toddlers, yes, then did make a mess on the table and I never left the restuarant expecting the waiter or waitress to clean up after my children. I feel that that is not their job. Parents should remember that children should be respectful and teach their children to learn proper table manners. Toddlers can taught, I know I taught my children to have manners at the table even in my house.

I’m not saying toddlers can’t be taught table manners. Actually, that they can was the whole point of my post.
But they are young and will have accidents at times. It happens to everyone. And it is the job of the staff to clean it up. Just like if your drink falls to the floor - the staff cleans it up. My mother was a well earning hostess/waitress at some exclusive or pricey resturants for over 30 years and always agreed with me on that. Her complaint was the adults who made bigger messes than the children. She always expected a bit of mess (not WWII w/food bombs) with young ones due to general lack of refined motor skills if nothing else, but the adults drove her batty.

 

[Maureen_Fiore]

I’m not saying toddlers can’t be taught table manners. Actually, that they can was the whole point of my post.
But they are young and will have accidents at times. It happens to everyone. And it is the job of the staff to clean it up. Just like if your drink falls to the floor - the staff cleans it up. My mother was a well earning hostess/waitress at some exclusive or pricey resturants for over 30 years and always agreed with me on that. Her complaint was the adults who made bigger messes than the children. She always expected a bit of mess (not WWII w/food bombs) with young ones due to general lack of refined motor skills if nothing else, but the adults drove her batty.

Yes, I agree with you but you should not just think that toddlers can toss food around and not help clean up the extra mess that they make. I mean after that family left I felt really bad for the restaurant help because they had to clean not just the table but the floor and chairs as well. I think that is totally uncalled for and parents should know better. Children learn what they are taught.

 

[BioCatholic]

Karin:

Not everyone that does not have kids due to the fact that they cant, it is because they do not WANT ANY! Hard to believe that there are folks that simpy put do not want kids of their own!
The people that do not want any kids are not jealous of people like me or others that have them…they view them as a hinderance to their lifestyle.

that is me. i have never a single day in my life wanted a child. not the day i was married, and not yesterday or tommorrow. children hold no fascination for me, and i would probably make a terrible parent anyway. some of us realize the fact we werent meant for children, and accept it and move on.

 

[Consecrated]

Rob's Wife:

The problem is NOT the children. It’s ill-mannered adults passing on their bad manners to their children. It doesn’t help that very few families these days eat dinner around the table at home either. For many children sitting down to a quiet meal together is a foreign experience at home, so expecting them to know the protocol at a resturant is not realistic.

This is a very good point, thank you!!! I find silly things to worry about and I always worry about how our son will behave when we take him out. We haven’t really yet, and he’s 2 1/2. BUT, we do expect proper behavior out of him at home, where we eat together as a family every night, so it’s nice to be reminded that at some point the manners lessons will stick, even in public!

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

BioCatholic:

that is me. i have never a single day in my life wanted a child. not the day i was married, and not yesterday or tommorrow. children hold no fascination for me, and i would probably make a terrible parent anyway. some of us realize the fact we werent meant for children, and accept it and move on.

I understand you clearly BioCatholic and see nothing wrong with it either. Not everyone gets all warm and fuzzy when they are around babies or feel a strong desire to have some of their own. That doesn’t make them bad people or even bad parents should that event occur some day. There is a difference between that and being hostile about all children though. Not liking/wanting children usually does not equal disliking and thinking all children are nuisances.

 

[Island_Oak]

We were out to dinner on Sunday night with our 3 kids. Seated behind us in close proximity was a couple about our age. As we got up to leave, the man rose, reached out to stop me and told me we had the best behaved kids he had seen in a long time. He went on to say that as parents–they knew what they were talking about and if he had a medal he would have given it to us. When I caught up to my husband and kids outside I shared his comments and gave my kids a hug telling them how little things like that made a parent’s day. I share this to let people know that while we have all encountered ill-mannered adults and out-of-control children who had no business dining in public, it can be a marvelous reinforcement to compliment parents + kids when you catch them getting it right.

 

[Island_Oak]

Karin:

Hard to believe that there are folks that simpy put do not want kids of their own!

Really?!?! I’m constantly amazed (and encouraged)by how many people DO want them given what self-sacrifice is entailed by bearing and raising children.

 

[LittleRose]

My mother says that I was fussy on a very long train trip she and my father took when I was a baby, and they got similar treatment from nearby passengers. Many complaining about my parents picking me up and trying to comfort me when I cried (I suppose they thought I was being spoiled). My mother says many of them looked like they were headed to visit grandchildren.

 

[deb1]

Maureen Fiore:

Yes, I agree with you but you should not just think that toddlers can toss food around and not help clean up the extra mess that they make. I mean after that family left I felt really bad for the restaurant help because they had to clean not just the table but the floor and chairs as well. I think that is totally uncalled for and parents should know better. Children learn what they are taught.

What we do is to leave a large tip. I figure that this makes up for any cleaning that the staff has to do.

Oddly enough, one time a waiter ran outside after us and thanked us for the 20% tip that we left. I didn’t think that we had left more then what is considered polite, but he said that was unusual. I guess that he didn’t mind cleaning up the mess.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

I suppose it would be sinful to hope the two unpleasant people remember this incident when they have nobody to care for them in old age except hired help- and their BMW.

 

[movingmom]

Island Oak - I have had the same experience with my kids. People come up and say they didn’t even realize that there were children in the restaurant. I feel like saying “you didn’t catch their act the last time!” All kidding aside, I agree it’s up to the parent’s to control and yes, sometimes clean up the extra napkins, utensils etc that “fall” on the floor in the resaurant. If things fall on the floor at home, it’s not momma’s job to pick it all up, just as the wait staff shouldn’t have to either. I make my kids pick up any incidental accidents before we leave any establishment, fancy or not - it’s the right thing to do. Kids will be kids at times, but anything that isn’t acceptable at home shouldn’t be out either - unless you live in a zoo. Back to the OP, she did the right thing, people get mad at the stupidest things, you are at a buffet restaurant for goodness sake! Go to the restaurant we all wish we could dine at if the kids were at a sitter!

Ah, tablecloths, good food, dimmed lights, a little wine!

 

[avgguy]

TarAshly:

My husband and I just got back from lunch and I am LIVID! We went to SouperSalad, I dont know if any of you has been there, but the seating is very very close together. We were behind a middle age couple and right behind them was a young mother and her beautiful new born baby girl. The baby began to fuss a little and the middle age “man” instantaniously began to huff and puff and roll his eyes, he did the whole half turn thing and shot the mother a dirty look. His wife then said “people with whining little brats should leave them at home” the comment was directed at her husband obviously but there is no way the poor young mother didnt hear her, when i was seated behind her and she was facing the mother. Then the man stated “thats exactly why we never had any, children are such a nuisance!” my jaw dropped and my husband said if he didnt know any better he saw smoke coming out of my ears.

The mother became obviously flustered and embarrassed. I was going to get some more salad and shot the man and his wife a nasty evil look and stopped and told the mother that she had one of the most beautiful babies I had ever seen, and we chatted for a minute and I commented how sweet the baby was and what a lucky mommy she was. the man and his wife rolled their eyes, meanwhile my husband got up to join me and the mother in our conversation and commented to the man “cute baby huh, cant wait to have my own!” the couple then finished with their meal and left in their pretty black BMW.

This brought to mind when me and my sister flew to Missouri with my baby niece who was 16 months old at the time. When we began to take off she began to fuss and cry. her ears were popping and the noise was frightening to her. meanwhile two rows behind us this jerk who was as old as my dad, but thought he was some young frat boy and his buddy start hollering "plug it up, we dont need to hear that $#!% " and complaining to the stuardess, it was an evening flight, my niece was the only baby on the plane, I was holding her and trying to comfort her but Frat boy Frank kept running his mouth, finally I turned around in my seat and said “do you mind? shes a baby?” and the man sitting in front of him turned to him and said “your bothering me more than that little baby is” that angel of a man then gave my niece a little pink bear he had in his bag, he had gotten the bear for his daughter but figured he could get another one at the next terminal.

when we landed my sister and I pointed out the man to our dad and my dad gave him a good talking too. It just amazes me how RUDE and INTOLERANT people are of children, you almost have to be embarrassed to take a child in a public facility any more! No wonder 1 child is considered enough and if you have two YOURE NUTS and no wonder abortion runs rampant and childless by choice is Chic! I was SO UNBELIEVABLY LIVID at the couple in the restaurant, but the more I think about it, the more I am just plain sad for them. They will never know the joy of a child. Ok getting off of my soap box now!

Ok i am the type of person whom would have directly spoken to this rude obnoxious person, and I would have told him what an idiot i thought he was being, thus being an idiot myself but I would have felt better, then afterwards i would have thought about it a little like i have now and thought gee why did i go off on that guy maybe he and his wife had tried for years to concieve and were unsuccessful, then maybe had some tests done and found out they were never going to be able to have a child for one reason or another, this in turn probably made them a little bitter about seeing others with them lil joy packages that fill diapers so quickly,

I guess what i am trying to say is yes its bad when we see and hear stuff like this and trust me i would love to kick them in the face but usually there is a reason for it, sometimes its jealousy sometimes it selfishness,we want them to be tolerant of children, but on the same note we also need to be a tad tolerant to them as well.2 wrongs dont make a right so to speak.you did the best thing possible no doubt by just talking with the woman,
I know i wouldnt have been so nice to the people.

 

[gardenswithkids]

TarAshly:

The mother became obviously flustered and embarrassed. I… told the mother that she had one of the most beautiful babies I had ever seen, and **we chatted for a minute and I commented how sweet the baby was and what a lucky mommy she was. …**my husband got up to join me and the mother in our conversation and commented to the man “cute baby huh, cant wait to have my own!”…

This brought to mind when me and my sister flew to Missouri with my baby niece who was 16 months old at the time. When we began to take off she began to fuss and cry. …and the man sitting in front of him turned to him and said “your bothering me more than that little baby is” that angel of a man then gave my niece a little pink bear he had in his bag, he had gotten the bear for his daughter but figured he could get another one at the next terminal.

While those original comments were obnoxious, they brought out good in others. TarAshly didn’t just compliment the mom; she comforted her. The gentleman on the airplane defended a child and gave generously to a stranger something intended for his own child. It’s tempting to focus on the bad comments, but those rude people provided the opportunity for others to be kind. Maybe God allows such rudeness to give us the opportunity to rise above it and become even better than we would have been otherwise.

 

[Penny_Plain]

Our youngest is adopted from Asia. The Huz got very sick and had to go home early, so I flew from Tokyo to Chicago with a 2 1/2 year old who (1) had never flown before; (2) did not speak any English; and (3) had only a vague idea of who I was.

He screamed, and I do not exaggerate in the slightest, for six hours. The only way to quiet him down was to walk him up and down the aisles, but the flight was very turbulent. I was exhausted, stressed, and a little sick myself, and if anyone had offered to help me for five minutes so I could go to the bathroom, I would have mentioned them in my will.

Nobody did.

Thank GOD he finally fell asleep.