Chose to use artificial insemination - now what?

[Medicusverum]

No offense Dr. Tracey, as we are both on the same side…

But do you think it is appropriate, in a public forum especially, to accuse the OP of helping a “specific” industry, when WE don’t know all the details - the hows, whys and wherefores of this person’s situation? Nor do we know who helped with this, where the services were performed, or even how the procedure itself was handled. I know you have good intentions, but please try to keep your answers a bit more general, to the infertile population as a whole- not to this specific person…

It would be great if we could all work together…

Nancy, thank you for pointing this out. You are correct, I did assume that her experience paralleled that of most patients’ when they seek help for infertility. My intention certainly wasn’t to accuse the original poster, but merely to point out a component of most people’s IUI experience that she may not have thought of. Many patients in her situation are really struggling to try and understand what was wrong with IUI and what, if any, repercussions there could be to having made that decision.

Mom2girls, I apologize if this assumption was incorrect or if what I said in anyway offended you…

Nancy, I agree with you that we should all work together no matter our background or method. That was actually one of the founding principles for the International Institute of Restorative Reproductive Medicine. We’re a group of professionals who believe that the best reproductive medicine is that which works cooperatively to restore and repair abnormalities to the reproductive system. We are committed to studying and promoting this approach. I’d encourage you to consider joining…you’re right we ALL NEED to work TOGETHER!!

God Bless,

Tracey

 

[quiet52]

Mom2Girls, God and His will is to take precedence over ANYTHING we want. The results of our behaviors it not to matter the most to us. As wonderful as children are, and as important having children is to you, you are to give greater honor to God.

We’re not to make up our own moral code according to the situations we face in our lives. We are obligated to correctly form our consciences – and the Magisterium helps us to do that. The Catechism tells us our conscience must never be set in opposition to the moral law or the Magisterium of the Catholic Church (CCC #2039).

Pope John Paul II has said: “True freedom isn’t the ability to do whatever you want, but the ability to do what you ought.” We exercise true freedom of conscience when we obey the teachings of the Church. If someone who is properly informed rejects a teaching, they are rejecting God. We’re not to trust our own flawed judgments. The end does not justify the means.

Please talk with a good confessor about this – just tell him, “I am not sorry for this sin, and I thank God for its outcome, my child – help me, Father, to better understand why I cannot commit this sin again. Help me to better form my conscience.”

Or … continue to be willfully stubborn, placing your will above God’s.

You and your husband are in my prayers. I hope you’ll yearn to receive our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.

 

[rskempf]

We’re a group of professionals who believe that the best reproductive medicine is that which works cooperatively to restore and repair abnormalities to the reproductive system. We are committed to studying and promoting this approach.

Tracy - is this work in complete alignment, all the time, with the Catholic Church?

Rick

 

[Medicusverum]

Medicusverum;4487448:

We’re a group of professionals who believe that the best reproductive medicine is that which works cooperatively to restore and repair abnormalities to the reproductive system. We are committed to studying and promoting this approach.

Tracy - is this work in complete alignment, all the time, with the Catholic Church?

Rick

Hi Rick,

Yes! Its inherent nature ensures this.

Tracey

 

[adelore]

Since I’ve been gone on the Truck I didn’t get a chance to read anything on the Forum. I’m now caught up on my reading on this topic.

I’m just wondering a few things as I’ve read everyones replies.

First, we have all sinned. (none of us are without sin.)

Second, have any of us commited a sin and not known it? (ten to one we all have at one time or another.)

I am very interested in knowing what the Priest thoughts are on this topic and the way things happened.

I never knew about the Vit. C. thing.

As I read the replie about having sex in the Doctors office with a condom on and then collecting the sperm, to then “wash” and replace back into the uterus, my thoughts went to this.

1. From my understanding, a condom is a form of “birth control”. True they are using it in this case to collect the sperm to reinsert it back into the woman. (yet the condom still “stops” the possiblity of life in the act of sex.)
2. The act of having sex, (even in the doctors office with a condom on) is not open to life. (bear with me on my thoughts…) Also is the act of having sex in the doctors office, (surely there must be some odd pressure on in this case.) Is for one end result only…to collect the sperm. Now explain to me where there ends up not being an Act of Lust. True the two people are married and love each other, but in a doctors office setting, knowing what they are there for. This is not the same as being home, having a loving sexual act to be open to the creation of life.
3. True, the Bible says masterbation and letting ones “Seed” hit the ground is wrong. (most people who masterbate are doing it for self gratification) In this case it was part of a medical procedure and the “Seed” did not hit the ground, nor was it wasted. It was used to create life. Just like in example 1.
4. As pointed out by someone elses replie having a sexual act with our spouse out of lust and personal satsifaction is wrong and a sin.

I (again my personal thoughts, until I at least learn more) are this.

What makes number 1. any more right than number 2?

The fact is the sperm in #1. is deposited in a condum, (not allowed to be open to the creation of life) then removed from the wife, (when the man withdrawls) and then washed and reinserted back into the wife, without her husband.

Then end result the woman is still recieving her husbands sperm without her husband in both cases. Both cases are a medical procedure and not in anyway is the "Intent" to be sinful.

If number 2 is sinful, (even though it wasn’t for personal satisfaction and the sperm did not hit the ground) then why is not number 1 sinful? After all “Birth Control” was used no matter how you cut the mustard.

Again like I said, I’d love to know what the Priest thoughts are when both of these cases are explained.

Ok those are just my wonderings on this topic. My personal thoughts are this. I can fully understand number 1 and 2. I also think God sees into our hearts and knows fully what ** Intent is in our hearts. I don’t believe either case is a “sinful” intent. I think both of these cases (since no **eggs were removed and no articfical implantation of an embroy happened. would be considered pretty much the same, just a medical procedure that was still up to God weather to allow life or not.

Ok just my thoughts, no advice, just #1 doesn’t make sense to be ok and not sinful and yet #2. is sinful? I just have a hard time understanding that.

 

[LittleDeb]

adelore,

The condom is perforated. I personally know a couple who conceived during their “collection” act. They were just having his sperm count tested. From their experience they said it is not all that uncommon for couples to conceive during testing. They say the pressure is off.

That is where the “assisting” the marital act comes in.

The location of a marital act does not determine whether it is open to its natural end. Being procreative just means that everything is ordered towards the transmission of life. Whether life actually transmits or not is entirely subjective.

One of things I noted in my own battle with infertility is that the contraceptive mentality permeates it. An infertile couple is often told that they aren’t “being procreative.” That is a load of bunk! Infertile couples are some of the most procreative people out there. They only lack the ability to reproduce.

 

[Seatuck]

BTW , the couple can be taught how to collect the sperm sample with a perforated condom at home if the logistics of that aren’t too problematic . Such as you don’t live more than a certain distance from the medical facility.

The semen collection must be obtained through a procreative unitve conjugal act.

I do think there is a danger of the couple becoming too obsessed with the creation of the child and losing sight of the gift of the conjugal act. The couple should maintain prayer and seeking God’s will in the process. If the the marital relationship declines in such a way as to create a sense of objectifying the act or disrespect for one another or damaging the unitive and procreative aspects to the marital act then it is possible that they need to step back and regroup. Infertillity is a very difficult cross.

 

[NightngaleShane]

Mom2Girls, I think it is terrible that you are being judged so much just for doing artificial insemenation. I’m sure you’re a wonderful mother and you are obviously very grateful for your children

Did you look into adoption at all? I know how difficult it is to adopt, as one of my mom’s friends had to go all the way to Guatamala just for her kids. It was a looooong, drawn out process. In theory, adoption is a beautiful option, but in reality, it’s difficult, expensive, time-consuming, and loaded with red tape. I suppose artificial insemenation is easier as long as you have the money.

I personally think artificial insemenation is somewhat of a selfish option if you are able to adopt, but I know that no situation is that simple. If I have not been in your situation, who am I to judge? Only God understands everything you have been through. I find it sad that you are being condemned by those around you when the fact remains that we ALL sin. If I shunned all known sinners from my life, I would have no friends. It is obvious that you cannot undo the past, so just move on with your future as a wonderful mother.

AND REMEMBER… the Mass is not necessarily a social setting. Therefore, who cares if the Catholic community in your neighborhood shuns you? GOD isn’t shunning you. GOD welcomes ALL people at ALL times. If those around you are looking down on you, tell them to remove the beams from their eyes Go to Mass anyway. The Lord wants to see you there!

[SIGN]May God Bless You![/SIGN]

 

[joandarc2008]

I do work in a lab that does semen testing - it is a federal lab so it is a very small part of my job. Just to add to part of it I can say that part of our guidelines for collection is that the semen has to be in the lab within 15 minutes of collection in order to get accurate results. However, on the same issue we hand the patient the cup tell them where the single stall bathroom is and if there are one or two people there it is not really our concern. It is absolutely against our policy to allow patients to bring the sample from home because logistics of where we are located (it takes more than 15 minutes to park and get into a federal building) just don’t allow for it. Take care,

God bless,

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

You chose to use artificial insemination. You don’t think you did anything wrong. However, I think you are not looking deeply enough. Aside from the inclusion of a third party in your marital act, how many children were created in that petri dish during your efforts? What happened to those offspring? Were any of your children killed, frozen, or “donated”? If you have frozen children, do you plan to give them a chance at life? All of them? Or are you only going to give life to the two you have.

Okay, I’m confused…What was the “sin” committed? AI isn’t the same thing as in vitro. What is being talking about here is in vitro. What is the sin? I was under the impression that fertility drugs are perfectly acceptable? Is it the artificial insemination? Is that still wrong even if the sperm is collected in a wholesome way? (perf. condom)?

personal note to OP*

I really think some people are treating you rather harshly, and I can see your feeling as if you can’t return. I really apologize for any behaviour that makes you feel unwelcome. IF you have guilt for conceiving your children in a way that seems “unnatural” that really is between God, your husband, your priest, and you. NO ONE ELSE. I suggest you not exclude yourself from the faith, and you seek reconciliation. We all have sin, it’s not a reason to run away. It’s a reason to run TO the church, so you don’t have to carry any burden. And anyone who treats you harshly for any perceived mistake (whether it’s sinful OR NOT) needs only to be referred to “remove the plank from thy own eye…” we ALL have sin, and no one has a right to put you down when they are no different.

 

[christmary4ever]

I seriously do not understand how it is that my children are gift from God yet the act in which created them is a sin. I struggle with this greatly.

This is a sensitive subject for me, this decision did not come about lightly and without thought. I feel judged and attacked not only by comments here but in my real life. Even though people try to seperate the children from the act, I cannot.

I have also felt that my path maybe more excepted somewhere else if I cannot reconcile this with myself.

Thank you for taking the time to respond, it is appreciated.

All life comes from God. Without the permission
of his will nothing would have come out of your
effort. Now to leave the church and find something
that nourishes and encourage your belief would
be a denial of a church teaching.

I assure you people who do this will shift from
one church to the other the moment their belief
are challenge.Perhaps the children are really meant
for you, Only God Knows. May God give you the
grace to confess, and you will find peace and joy
with the Lord.

By the way Solomon was born out of adultery,yet
God honor and bless him .As for David He was
forgiven because he has the humility to ask for
mercy.